Tessa

by Gabelman, Teresa

  Tessa frowned. “How young?”

  “That depends on the individual.” Charger pushed himself away from the counter and walked toward her. Reaching her, he leaned down slightly. “So you, beautiful lady, have options and someone with your gift will be welcomed with open arms.”

  Staring up at him, she noticed one thing. While his words sent her mind whirling, the man himself did nothing for her. Yes, he was a damn fine-looking man, but she’d met many of those in her lifetime. However, his words sang to her soul.

  “You think you know so much about me?” Tessa said to his parting back.

  He stopped, glancing at her over his shoulder. “There is no thinking to it. It’s my job to know people around me better than they know themselves,” Charger replied, with a serious glint in his eyes. Then he winked. “Scary isn’t it.”

  Tessa watched him walk out the door. “Very,” she whispered, then glanced at her uneaten chili before her eyes shot back to his retreating form. “Hey, why aren’t you at the meeting?”

  “Because I chose not to be. We all have choices, Tessa. It’s up to us to make them,” he replied, just as the door shut behind him.

  Rolling her eyes, she sighed and fell back in her chair. Okay, that conversation was exhausting. Tessa had never been good at making choices. Well, at least for herself. She could make decisions based on other people’s needs; she’d done that her whole life. Tessa frowned.

  “Damn,” she whispered, her eyes shooting toward the door. It was so true. Every aspect of her life had been determined by other people—her mother, abusive father, brother, Gramps, her ex, people at the bar she’d worked at, and now her mate. Never once had she taken into consideration what she really wanted, too focused on what would be easier for others.

  “Hey, Tessa,” Steve said as he slowly walked through the door, heading toward the large pot of chili on the stove.

  “Hi,” she said absently, just staring at nothing. She then realized it was Steve. Turning her head she noticed how he strained to even lift a bowl to dip the chili into. Not even a month ago they had found Steve chained to the front gate, every inch of his body flayed by a metal whip. Words have been carved into as a message to the Warriors. His healing had been slow and painful. Their hunt for Orjyll the warlock responsible had been nonstop. Steve appeared healed on the outside, but there was still a haunted look in his eyes at times.

  “You okay?” Steve walked over after finding the biggest bowl in the kitchen and sat down next to her.

  “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m good.” She smiled at him. “Is the meeting over?”

  “For the most part.” Steve nodded, digging into the steaming chili. “Damn, Sid is an asshole, but he can cook like nobody’s business. Good shit.”

  Even though Steve was part of the meeting, Slade still hadn’t released him for jobs yet. “How are you doing Steve?” Tessa asked, then frowned when he narrowed his eyes slightly.

  “Never better.” His curt response was not like Steve at all. She noticed that every time she or someone ask him, he turned into someone else. Not the Steve they all knew. She wasn’t the only one who noticed. She had seen Mira’s concern also. “I’d be even better if everyone would stop asking me how I’m fucking doing. Sorry, I get cranky when I’m hungry.”

  “It’s okay. I get the same way.” Tessa replied, knowing that hunger had nothing to do with his angry response. She decided to change the subject. “So how’s the book coming along?”

  With a shrug, Steve dropped his spoon with a clang. “Not good.” Steve sighed, looking at her. “No one wants to talk to me. Every time I try to get the scoop on someone, they shut me down.”

  “The Warriors are pretty private, Steve.” Tessa could only imagine what kind of questions Steve was asking them. “But isn’t this book supposed to be about your life? Like a biography?”

  Picking his spoon back up to finish his cooling chili, Steve nodded. “Yeah, but these guys are my life now. I mean, everything I do includes at least one of them.”

  “Have you ever thought about writing a fiction book?” Tessa asked, just throwing that thought out there.

  “I thought that’s what I was doing… or trying to do, no thanks to those dickheads.” Steve gave a snort.

  “No, if you are writing a biography, then that’s nonfiction.” Tessa glanced at the door as Jared and Sid walked in. “A fiction book is just that… fiction. You can still take events that have happened to you, make up a character like you or them. And all the facts don’t have to be… facts.” Tessa had no idea if she explained that right, but by the look on Steve’s face, he got it.

  “So what you’re telling me is I can still write about me, shit that goes on here and what I’ve been through using made-up characters based on these guys?” Steve waved his spoon toward Jared and Sid. Then his eyes opened wide. “And I could make my character so badass that no one fucks with me ever?”

  Tessa glanced at Jared and Sid, who were now glaring at her. “Uh, well, yes.” Tessa cringed when Sid’s growl rumbled low in his throat.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” both Sid and Jared said at the same time.

  Not really liking their tone or glares, she stood up. “I’m being supportive,” Tessa said to them both, then looked directly at Jared. “Something some of you know nothing about.”

  “Ouch,” Steve hissed, looking at Jared.

  “I’m supportive when it doesn’t involve crazy ideas that could get you killed,” Jared shot back and leaned toward Steve. “Watch it.”

  “No, you’re supportive when your alpha pride isn’t getting hurt.” Tessa fired the words with guns blazing. She was sick and tired of it—their high and mighty attitudes, especially her mate’s. She turned to Steve. “Write a fiction book, Steve. Make sure you don’t forget to add what a pompous ass Jared Kincaid is.”

  “Pompous ass?” Jared growled, trying to grab her arm when she walked past, but she brushed him aside.

  Tessa stormed out of the room, almost slamming the door into Charger and Sloan. “Sorry.” Tessa frowned, moving around them, then stopped, looking up at Charger. “If the Dark Guardians need a loyal, kickass female, let me know.”

  Oh, Tessa knew that was going to start some shit, but she was seriously past caring. After her leap off the cliff today, she’d discovered a few revelations about herself. One was she was done taking crap. She was ready to start her life free of censorship from anyone. If they didn’t like it, they could fuck off. Jared Kincaid included.

  Her stomach rolled at that thought, but she watched all the other Warriors being supportive of their mates, and all she got from Jared were glares and harsh words, and it almost broke her. She loved him. God, did she love him, but dammit, it was time she lived the life she knew was meant for her. If only she knew exactly what that was, but until she stopped trying to please everyone by doing what they felt she should be doing, she would never find out who she really was.

  She stomped toward her car, ready to go back to her home because honestly, this place wasn’t home. It was time she broke free. Whether it was to be a VC Warrior, Children’s Services field worker, or even a freaking Dark Guardian, it was going to be her decision and hers alone. If she lost her mate because of it, that would be on him… not her. Would it break her? Probably. Yet she was willing to take that chance in order to stop living under someone else’s vision of what her life should be.

  Getting in the car, she started it quickly. A frown settled on her face as she stared straight ahead. Deep down, she had hoped Jared would come after her, but once again, he hadn’t. Maybe that was the telling sign. She wasn’t worth chasing. And wasn’t that the sad story of her life.

  “Stop it!” she chided, then slammed on the gas pedal, backing out of the space where Adam had parked. “I am worth it.”

  Turning the wheel, she put the car in Drive and just as she pressed the pedal to go, she gasped, slamming on the brakes. Jared stood in the middle of the drive with his arms crossed over his chest. His golden
eyes found hers. Her body vibrated with nervous excitement at seeing him. Tessa’s hand slowly moved to the horn, ready to lay on it, but something stopped her. The way he stared at her seemed different. How she didn’t know.

  Slowly he looked away from her, shook his head, leaped into the air over the car and disappeared into the darkness.

  Tessa watched in the rearview mirror as he vanished into the night. “I love you, asshole,” she whispered as a lone tear escaped, slowly making a path for more to follow down her cheek. As she lifted her foot off the brake and drove off the compound lot, she wondered if she would ever be back.

  Chapter 3

  Jared stopped, his hands fisted at his sides. Closing his eyes, he fought for control but knew it was a losing battle. He was close to losing his shit. That was something he didn’t want Tessa to see, so he walked away… again.

  Hearing footsteps coming up behind him, Jared slowly opened his eyes.

  “Don’t.” His one word growled through clenched teeth should have been warning enough, but it fell on deaf ears.

  “Trouble in paradise, brother?” Charger totally ignored the rage radiating from Jared.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Jared turned, taking a menacing step toward Charger, who stood a few inches taller than Jared.

  “How about I ask you that, Kincaid?” Charger growled at him. “You haven’t told anyone, have you?”

  “It’s not anyone’s business,” Jared spat out, his eyes narrowing dangerously. He had never wanted to hit anyone so badly in his life than he did at this moment.

  “How in the hell have you kept this a secret for this long?” Charger shook his head in disbelief. “Good thing I didn’t come in here running my mouth, but I had a feeling this was the way it was. You do know more are coming, right?”

  “Only you know, so that’s not an issue unless you make it an issue.” Jared fought to calm himself. His mind kept going back to the look on Tessa’s face as she stared at him through the windshield. It was a stare he was getting sick of seeing, as well as being the one putting it on her face. It was a look of disappointment… in him, and that more than anything killed him inside.

  “Me and Raven,” Charger said after a moment of silence.

  That name took him back in time and his body shook with memories. He shook his head. “No.”

  “Too late, Kincaid.” Charger cocked his head as he stared at Jared. “It’s time you face your past so you can get on with your future. You know what’s coming and it’s coming way sooner than anyone suspected. Make your shit right because if you don’t, you might as well let me kill you now and save that beautiful mate of yours.”

  “Tessa has nothing to do with my past,” Jared hissed, his emotions bordering on rage and yes, fear. Fear was an emotion Jared rarely felt, and he didn’t like it one fucking bit.

  Charger actually laughed, but no humor was present. “Then why are you treating her like shit?”

  Jared opened his mouth, but no words came forth. Running his hand through his hair, he cursed, before pointing at Charger. “Stay away from Tessa.”

  Charger looked at him long and hard. “Get your fucking head out of your ass, and that won’t be a problem.” Charger turned to leave but paused, saying, “She would make one hell of a Warrior or Guardian, you know this.”

  “It’s not that simple,” Jared said, but without the heat behind his words. Charger was right, he did know this, but fuck…. Man, he didn’t think he could relive his past even though it was never far from his mind.

  Charger turned and walked toward Jared and clapped him on the shoulder. “Never have I met a more loyal man than you, Kincaid. You’re a good man, but you are fucking up. Get your shit straight and come clean with everyone. Don’t let the past haunt you for another few hundred years.”

  Charger’s words hit him hard, but Jared didn’t let it show. Instead, he gave him a stern nod but didn’t promise anything. “How is she?”

  “Raven?” Charger asked, but Jared knew the asshole was aware of exactly who he meant. “She’s meaner than any fucking demon you’ll ever come across and just as deadly,” Charger replied, before laughing. “You’ll see.”

  Jared watched Charger walk back toward the compound and remained until the man disappeared. Jared was torn on whether he wanted to smack the shit out of Charger or tear his own fucking hair out in frustration. Smacking the asshole sounded much more fulfilling. In all honesty, he didn’t want to come to terms with the past. He thought he had already, but with Tessa wanting to be a part of the team, he realized he hadn’t come to terms with shit.

  Cursing, he made his way to his bike. He needed to make things right with his mate, but as he straddled his machine, he didn’t know if he ever could. Without a doubt, Jared knew he was close to losing Tessa, and it was totally up to him to make sure that didn’t happen. And the only way he could do that was to talk about his past, a past only a few knew about, and none of those people had been in his life until Charger showed up. Jared had never hated himself more than he did at this moment. Fear and uncertainty overwhelmed him. Those two emotions were a deadly combination for a Warrior to have.

  Riding out of the compound parking lot, he took off at speed, as if trying to outrun the life he once led for a short period. If he looked over his shoulder, it would be right behind him. His time of running from his past was close to an end. It was an end that terrified him.

  * * *

  Tessa walked into the dark house, the loneliness hitting her like a brick to the chest. Even though she could see perfectly, she clicked on the lamp beside the couch before heading into the kitchen. Setting her bag on the table, she sat down heavily with a loud sigh.

  Looking around, her eyes landed on the stove and stayed there. Memories of when she first met Jared swarmed her mind, causing her throat and chest to tighten with emotion. He had stood at that very stove, barefoot and handsome, cooking breakfast for all the half-breeds who had been staying with her.

  Tessa’s eyes fell to the table to see the crack where Jill had beaten Jeff at arm wrestling. Her eyes welled, tears blurring her vision as she just stared at the crack. Jared had wanted to prove that gender or size didn’t determine one’s strength. She had sat in this exact chair across from Jared that morning as everyone dared her to go against the Warrior; even Jared had dared her with his fixed gaze. She’d accepted and had only won because she’d cheated by running her bare foot up the inseam of his jeans.

  A sob escaped her throat and her hand flew to her mouth as if to hold the rest in. If she cried, if she lost it, then it was as if it were over between her and the man she cherished above anything. Without a doubt, she knew she could save their relationship by being who he wanted her to be. Plain Tessa. But she had already done that with another. Otis. In doing so, she not only despised her ex but herself as well. She couldn’t do that again. No matter how much she loved her mate, she couldn’t do it.

  Fear overwhelmed her thinking of living as a vampire for hundreds of years alone and without Jared. Doubts of if she would even survive the heartbreak rushed through her, making her gag and sob even harder.

  Cursing, she stood and left the kitchen and climbed the stairs to her bedroom. She stopped in front of the door, not walking inside. They had spent so much time here fixing the place up that everything reminded her of him. Going to the closet, she ran her fingers over Jared’s shirts hanging next to hers. Taking one off the hook, she quickly stripped out of her clothes and wrapped herself in it. Even laundered she could smell him; his scent was meshed into the cloth.

  After turning out the light, she crawled up in the bed they shared more times than she could count and slipped under the covers. She wrapped her arms around herself and lay staring out of the window, watching the stars twinkle before disappearing behind a passing cloud. Lightning lit the sky as thunder rumbled in the distance, matching her mood.

  She missed sleep. Despite feeling tired, she knew sleep wouldn’t come. Always before she was tu
rned, she could sleep her problems away, but not anymore. The sound of a motorcycle filled the room. Her body responded, knowing it was her mate. A moment later, the front door opened and shut. Heavy footsteps thudded below, coming closer to the stairs. She heard every sound, felt his presence as her mind and body craved him. No matter what, he called to her and she answered every single time.

  Tessa knew he had climbed the staircase and stood in the doorway, staring at her, but her eyes remained on the sky. With everything inside her, she hoped he wouldn’t turn away. She didn’t know how much longer they had. And even being so hurt by him during the day, she needed him in the night. It made no sense to her head, yet her body, their connection spoke the truth. She would always be his. Her fear, though, couldn’t be ignored. What if it was coming to the point where she would only be his at a distance? She just hoped tonight was not the night.

  A small sigh escaped her as Tessa heard him walk toward the bed. The rustling of his clothes as he shed them followed. He crawled beside her and immediately pulled her against his naked body.

  “Why are you not naked?” The roughness of his voice against her skin sent chills throughout her body.

  “Because wearing your shirt makes me feel closer to you when you’re not here,” she whispered, still staring at the sky before sitting up and turning toward him. Their eyes met, and she saw a second of uncertainty in his gaze before it was gone. God, she hated this—whatever in the hell it was—between them.

  Slowly, she reached down and lifted the shirt over her head, baring her large breasts. His eyes left hers as he took his fill, a low growl following. One thing with Jared Kincaid was she knew for a fact he loved her body, curves and all. Never once had he made her feel uncomfortable with her weight. If anything, it turned her on more knowing he liked her just the way she was.

  Cupping one breast in her hand, she leaned forward, offering him a taste. He took it right away as his free hand came forward to tease the other one. Her breasts were sensitive and she loved the things he did to them. She watched as he sucked and bit one and then gave the other the same attention. Her breath became gasps of pleasure.