Love Comes Home

by Ann H. Gabhart

  20

  Do you think people might be able to hear the radio program in other places too? Not just Kentucky,” Lorena asked.

  “Maybe. What places are you thinking about?” Kate glanced over at Lorena. They were on the way home from Louisville after Lorena auditioned for Songs of Tomorrow, a radio program that featured young singers. The producers had recorded her song and told her she’d be on their next broadcast. They loved Lorena’s singing.

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Lorena tried to sound casual, but Kate knew her too well. “Some of the bigger towns. Maybe Chicago or New York City.”

  “Chicago maybe. Cincinnati. I doubt New York City.” Kate reached over to touch Lorena’s arm. “But who knows? Someday you might be singing in New York City for thousands of people on the Arthur Godfrey show. Wouldn’t that be something?” Arthur Godfrey always had singers on his morning show.

  “That show plays all across the country, doesn’t it?”

  “It does. My famous little sister.” Kate smiled at Lorena and then quickly fastened her eyes back on the road. She wasn’t used to driving Uncle Wyatt’s car. It didn’t rattle and bounce along like Jay’s old car, but she was very anxious to get it parked back in Rosey Corner without doing any damage to it. She straightened in the plush seat and tried to find a more comfortable position. Her back was aching.

  She needed to ask Aunt Hattie if she was supposed to feel this way. Tired and achy with odd pains stabbing her from time to time. The doctor in Edgeville said everything was normal. He’d smiled at her complaints and told her a little discomfort was to be expected. She knew that. She’d expected the nausea. Her mother had warned her about the fatigue. What she hadn’t expected was the back pain. At least not yet. She was barely showing. It couldn’t be from extra weight. Still, a little backache wasn’t anything she couldn’t stand. She certainly wasn’t going to be like Evie and do nothing but talk about how miserable she was.

  Kate wasn’t miserable. She was too happy to worry about a few pains now or in the coming months. Evie said she might change her mind when she got so big she could barely waddle around. Mama had laughed and told Evie she’d hardly gotten to the waddle stage. She had two months to go and to just wait.

  Evie had stared down at her bulging form and burst into tears. “I can’t get any bigger,” she wailed. “My skin can only stretch so far.”

  “You look beautiful, sweetheart,” Mama told her. “It’s a blessing to carry a child. And it won’t be long until you’ll be carrying him or her in your arms.”

  “Her.” Evie’s mouth tightened in a determined line. “I’m having a girl. Kate can have the boy. She can handle anything.”

  A baby boy. Kate smiled at the thought. A boy for Jay would be nice. Jay was saying all the right things, but sometimes she caught a worried look on his face when she talked about when the baby came. And there were all the nights she awoke to find him gone from the bed.

  The war, he said. Bad dreams. She had no doubt that was true. Hadn’t she seen her father struggle with the same? Jay wouldn’t talk about the war. A couple of nights ago when she found him on the back porch in the wee hours of the morning, she told him she’d read the accounts sent in to the papers. Things that were never published because the editors deemed the stories too harsh for their readers. She was strong. He could share the burden of his war memories if it would help him sleep better.

  “You help me sleep better.” He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. “It’s that I got used to waking up at the slightest noise. It will get better.”

  “Oh no.” She turned toward him and laughed. “Babies are notoriously noisy at night.”

  “That will be a good noise,” he’d said, but in the light that drifted out from the kitchen window, she had caught the worried shadow that slipped across his face.

  “I can’t imagine being famous.” Lorena brought Kate back to the present. “Like Judy Garland with everybody knowing your name.”

  “Lorena Birdsong.” Kate let the name roll off her tongue. “Your name even sounds like a song. People might think you made it up.”

  “Do you think I did?” Lorena’s voice was too quiet.

  Kate frowned. “Did what?”

  “Made up my name.”

  “Why would you even think that?” Kate dared another look over at Lorena, who was staring down at her lap.

  “I don’t know. You said it sounded like something made up.”

  “But it wasn’t. You know that. Your mother wrote your name and birthday on a piece of paper and gave it to you. You still have it, don’t you?”

  “In my Bible.” Lorena hesitated before going on. “But maybe she made it up.”

  “Why would she do that?” Kate gripped the steering wheel and wished she wasn’t driving so she could get a better look at Lorena’s face.

  “I don’t know,” Lorena mumbled, fingering the clasp on her pocketbook.

  “All right, out with it. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing really.”

  “Nothing, huh. You just wowed a radio show producer and next week you’ll hear yourself singing on the radio and instead of being on top of the world, you look like you lost your last friend. Are you having boy troubles?” Kate didn’t think that was the problem, but she hoped that might get Lorena talking.

  “Boys don’t like me. I’m too tall.” Lorena sighed.

  “Fourteen-year-old boys haven’t got sense enough to come in out of the rain. Give them a couple of years and they’ll all be lining up for a smile from you.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “Absolutely right. Jay’s already planning out strategies to make sure only boys he approves get a chance to knock on your door.”

  “He is not.” Lorena giggled.

  “You wait and see. He’ll be down there guarding the door. He says Daddy obviously isn’t careful enough or he’d have never slipped up and let him come courting me.”

  “I’m glad he did come courting you.”

  Kate smiled, but kept her eyes on the road. “Thanks to you and Graham. You both championed him from the beginning.”

  Lorena began fiddling with her purse again. “But once the baby comes, Tanner will be too busy to worry about me.” She clicked her purse open and closed. “You will be too.”

  “Oh, baby.” Even though the road was curvy in front of them, Kate dared to take a hand off the steering wheel to squeeze Lorena’s arm. “You can’t be worried about that. I love you. I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you on the church steps. You moved right into my heart that very day.”

  “But your baby will belong there now. You might forget about me.”

  “Don’t be silly. You’re my sister. Sisters are forever.”

  When Lorena didn’t say anything, Kate watched for a place to pull off the road. She needed to look her in the eyes, but there was nothing but more curves winding toward Rosey Corner. So she kept driving. “Okay, what are you thinking?”

  When Lorena finally answered, her voice was almost too low for Kate to hear. “Mothers are supposed to be forever too.”

  “Yes.” What else could Kate say? Mothers were forever. Right now with her baby only beginning to form within her, she’d do anything to keep him or her safe. “Yes, they are.”

  “Then why didn’t my mother come back for me the way she promised?” Lorena looked over at Kate, needing an answer. An answer Kate didn’t have.

  “Maybe she couldn’t.”

  “Or maybe she forgot about me.” Lorena stared back down at her purse.

  “Maybe she forgot where she left you and wasn’t able to find her way back.”

  “How could you forget a name like Rosey Corner?” Lorena sounded angry. “How could she forget me?”

  “I don’t think she did.” Kate prayed the Lord would give her the right words. “You know how you always say your name every night before you go to bed?”

  “Because she told me to. She said she’d hear me wherever she was.” Lorena’s voi
ce cracked. “But maybe she just told me that.”

  “No, she meant every word. And I believe she does hear the echo of your name in her heart each and every time you say it. I can’t say why she couldn’t come back, but I do believe she prayed you’d find a new family who would love you just as much as she does. And we do. You’ll always belong with us.”

  “I know. I want to belong with you.” Lorena sighed. “But lately it feels like there’s a hole inside me that’s all dark and empty. I have no idea what might fit there, but I know something needs to.” She looked over at Kate. “That’s why I wondered about the radio show. Wherever my mother is, she might listen to the radio, and if she hears my name on the Songs of Tomorrow show, she might remember promising to come back for me.”

  “That’s a lot of ifs, but I suppose it could happen. She might find you.” Kate couldn’t quite keep the tremble out of her voice. She’d worried for years that Lorena’s parents would come back for her. She wanted Lorena to be happy, but she didn’t want to lose her.

  This time Lorena reached over to Kate. A tentative, feathery touch like the brush of a paintbrush on her arm. That’s the way her mother said the baby’s first movements might feel inside her when she was a little farther along. She was looking so forward to that quickening movement.

  “Forever sisters, remember?” Lorena said.

  A straight stretch in the road was coming up, so Kate captured Lorena’s hand and pulled it up to kiss her fingers. “Forever. And I’m expecting plenty of help from Aunt Lorena with little Jay or Jayleen.”

  “Jayleen?” Lorena laughed. “You can’t do that to her.”

  “Maybe not. If I have a girl, maybe I’ll name her after Jay’s mother.”

  “What was her name?”

  Kate stared out at the road. “I don’t know. He told me she died when he was a boy, but I don’t think he ever said her given name.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t know what it was.”

  “I’m sure he does. I just didn’t ask.”

  “I don’t.”

  “You don’t what?”

  “Know my mother’s name. My brother’s name was Kenton, but I don’t know what my mother’s or father’s names were. I should, don’t you think?” She glanced over at Kate and then back down at her purse. “I was five. You should remember things when you’re five.”

  “Nobody remembers everything from when they were that young. And maybe you never heard their names. She was Mommy to you. Do you remember telling me about her that day?” They hadn’t talked about this for years.

  “I remember everything about that day. Mommy waving at me until she was out of sight. How scared I was sitting on that step. You coming around the corner of the church, sparkling just the way I thought an angel would.”

  “I wasn’t sparkling,” Kate smiled. “The morning sun must have played a trick on your eyes.”

  “You sparkled to me. I knew Jesus sent you especially to help me.” Lorena hesitated a moment. “I still know it. But that doesn’t keep me from wanting to know about my first family.” She twisted in the seat to look over at Kate. “You and Tanner could help me find them.”

  “You sound like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”

  “Some,” Lorena admitted. “She should have put her name on the paper too. So I’d know. Wouldn’t that be what you would do?”

  Kate couldn’t imagine ever deserting her baby. Even now with the baby so very small, she wanted to protect him with every ounce of her being. But Lorena’s mother had set her out on the church steps and left her there. What could make a mother do that? Kate chose her words carefully. “It’s hard to say what I would do if I was that desperate.”

  “Desperate.” Lorena let out a long sigh. “That’s what I’ve always wanted to believe. Mommy cried when she left me. But maybe they just didn’t want me. Maybe my daddy didn’t. They kept Kenton.”

  “You said he was sick. Remember?” Kate’s heart hurt for Lorena. Some sorrows never went away. “You said that was why they kept him.”

  “I know. He was too sick to wake up to tell me goodbye. I wanted him to wake up. Mommy let me kiss his cheek before I got out of the car and he still didn’t wake up. I shook him a little, but Mommy made me stop. Since he was so sick. I wanted to be sick so they wouldn’t leave me.”

  “But the Lord made a different way for you.” Kate was glad to see the house up ahead. Her mother might have wiser words for Lorena. “And we needed you too. You made things better in our family.”

  “I wish I could make things better for Tori now. She goes out on the porch in the middle of the night sometimes. Even when it’s cold.”

  “I used to do that. It’s a good place to think.”

  “Did you cry?” Lorena asked.

  “Not much. I was always too busy thinking up ways to make things come out the way I wanted them to.”

  “Tori can’t do that.”

  “No, she can’t.” Kate pulled the car into the driveway and switched off the key. “But Tori’s tougher than she looks. She’ll be okay. With us sisters helping her.”

  “Am I tough?” Lorena asked.

  “Tough enough to be one of the Merritt sisters.” Kate leaned across the seat to hug her. “Even if your name is Lorena Birdsong.”

  “Daddy says there aren’t any Merritt girls left. Tori is a Harper. Evie, a Champion, and you’re Kate Tanner.”

  “He can’t get rid of us that easy.” Kate laughed. “Getting married didn’t stop us from being the Merritt sisters. All of us. You too. Now, come on. Mama has come out on the porch, so she must need to tell me something before I take Uncle Wyatt’s car home. We’ll have to make him those oatmeal cookies he likes so well to thank him for letting us use it.”

  “Yeah.” Lorena pushed open her door and slid out of the car. “Are we late? Mama looks worried.”

  “I told her I didn’t know when we’d be back. She’s probably just anxious to hear how your audition went.” Kate got out and put her hands on her hips to stretch her back. The dull throb wouldn’t quit. She’d ask Aunt Hattie about it tomorrow. Aunt Hattie probably knew more about babies than that Edgeville doctor ever would, but she’d been the one who told Kate to go to him.

  She’d been sitting in her rocking chair by the window the day Kate went to tell her about the baby. “I’m getting old, chile. Much as I’d like to walk you through havin’ this sweet baby of yours, I don’t have the strength to catch babies no more.” She put her wrinkled hand on Kate’s cheek. “But I’m gonna ask the good Lord to put off me moving up to heaven so’s I can hold your little one. He’s bound to be something, coming from you and that Jay Tanner boy. Have I ever tol’ you how much your boy puts me in mind of my Bo?”

  Kate smiled, remembering her words, but then her smile disappeared as Lorena rushed across the yard toward their mother. “What’s wrong, Mama?”

  Kate ignored the pain in her back and followed her because Lorena was right. Mama was worried about something. Kate looked past her to see if she could see Daddy. Maybe his cough was worse and he needed to go to the doctor. Or something was wrong with Samantha. Or Evie. Worries poked her from all sides.

  She shook herself a little. No need in worrying until she knew what was wrong. And no need then either. Then it would be time for praying or fixing things.

  “I’m glad you’re here.” Mama came down in the yard to meet them. “Your father is putting on his shoes to go look for Victoria.”

  “Where is she?” Kate asked. “Graham’s pond?”

  “Where else? But she never stays this late. Never.” Mama looked to the western sky where the sun had already slipped out of sight, leaving a burst of red behind.

  “She doesn’t,” Lorena echoed.

  “Is Samantha with her?” Kate asked.

  “No, Sammy’s mother has her overnight. Victoria is probably just taking advantage of that to fish a little longer, but it’s almost dark. And I don’t know. I have the feeling something’s wrong. I wanted to go see ab
out her, but your father insisted he could go. But it’ll make his cough worse.”

  They could hear him coughing through the open door.

  “I’ll go,” Kate said.

  New worry lines traced across her mother’s face. “Are you sure you’re up to that? You don’t want to overdo.”

  “Walking is not overdoing. I walk all the time.” Kate leaned over and kissed her cheek.

  “I’ll go with you,” Lorena said.

  Kate looked at her in the Sunday clothes she’d worn for the audition. “You can’t go walking in the woods in those shoes. You’ll end up ruining them and have to go barefoot to church tomorrow.”

  Lorena looked down at her black patent leather shoes. “I’ll run change.”

  “No need. Just stay here and tell Mama about being on the radio. I know the path Tori takes to the pond. I’ll probably meet her coming out and we’ll be back before you can get the supper table set.”

  21

  Walking along the path to the pond brought back memories of the times Tori begged Kate to go fishing with her when she was a kid. Kate let Tori catch the fish while she sat on the bank and dreamed up stories or talked to Graham, who had a way of appearing out of the trees whenever they were at the pond. Kate didn’t fish.

  The thought of fish smell and worms made her stomach lurch. She took a deep breath and brought to mind the fragrance of the blooms on her mother’s lilac bush. She didn’t need to start heaving. It was hard enough just walking. She was so tired and the pain in her back kept poking at her. But nobody said being in the family way was easy. At least not for everybody.

  The thing was, she had expected it to be easy. She wasn’t Evie. She was strong. Healthy. She thought she’d sail through the months until she was holding her baby. But easy journey or not, she could handle it. Throughout time, millions of other women had done the same.

  When she walked under the old trees, she stopped and looked up at their branches reaching toward the sky. A prayer of thanksgiving rose within her for these trees, the solid, forever heart of Lindell Woods. She ran her hand over the bark of one of the oaks. Here in this spot, she and Jay had shared their first kiss and danced to the music of their hearts. That night had been the beginning, even though it was far from easy coasting for them after that.