If Ever I Fall (Rhode Island Romance #1)

by Sophia Renny

  Willa turned to look at him fully now. Tony kept his gaze narrowed on the lighthouse. His cheeks were ruddy.

  “He’s your big brother,” she said pragmatically. “Don’t most younger brothers look at their older brothers that way?”

  He pivoted towards her. Something softened in his expression. “The way you talk sometimes, Willa. You sound like you’re reading out of a science book or something.” His attractive mouth curved into a smile. “Must be the teacher in you.”

  Her lips twisted in grimace. “Yes. That must be it.”

  “I always had crushes on my female teachers,” he confided, his eyes twinkling.

  She understood that he was teasing her. She forced herself to relax. “That doesn’t surprise me. Veronica said you’re a born flirt.”

  He laughed, unabashed. “I figured she’d warn you about me.” Then his face turned solemn again. “But I’d never intentionally hurt you. Neither would Joe. That’s why I wanted some time alone with you. Off camera. To tell you some things.”

  “What things?”

  He swallowed, glanced away from her face and back again. “When I was twelve, our mom and dad died in an accident. There was a fire in an old warehouse my dad had been converting into offices. Joe was eighteen. He’d just started college. He quit school. Came home to take care of me and our little sister, Sylvie. He made sure we didn’t get put into foster care.”

  She stared into his face for several moments as her mind slowly assimilated his words. Shock and sadness gripped her heart. “I’m so sorry,” she finally managed to say. “There was no one else in your family to help?”

  “No. Our grandparents—our dad’s parents—were in a nursing home at that point. Our Uncle Nick, my dad’s younger brother, is high up in the military. He helped as best he could, but he’s been stationed overseas for years. My mom came out of the foster system, so no family to speak of on her side. So, it was just the three of us.” He paused. “And the Kelly’s.”

  “The Kelly’s?”

  “Our next-door neighbors in North Providence. Tom and Diane and their daughter, Julia.”

  Something seemed to alter in his voice when he spoke Julia’s name. “They helped take care of you?” she surmised.

  “Yeah. Tom and Diane were my parents’ best friends. They were all about the same age. Joe and Julia were in the same class in school from kindergarten on. After my mom and dad… After that, it was Julia who helped out the most. She was at the house every day when Sylvie and I came home from school.”

  “She didn’t go to college?”

  “No. She grew up in a family business just like me and Joe. She finally purchased it from her parents last month, actually. An event management business.”

  She heard the pride in his voice, and something more that she couldn’t decipher. “So… You and Julia are…together?”

  His eyebrows shot upwards with surprise before quickly lowering over a more somber expression. “No. Julia’s been in love with Joe since they were kids. They’ve dated off and on over the years. Last Christmas, he finally asked her to marry him.”

  At first, his revelation didn’t sink in. Willa tipped her head to one side. She heard the bewilderment in her voice as she sought confirmation. “Joe is getting married?”

  “Yeah. They’re getting married next year. In June. Julia has always wanted a June wedding.” Tony’s voice was grim, his eyes probing Willa’s confused expression.

  She slowly shook her head. “But Veronica said—” She swallowed the rest of her words. Veronica had said neither of the brothers was married. That didn’t mean they weren’t in relationships. Yet, the way Joe had looked at her…

  “Veronica doesn’t know yet.”

  Willa twisted away from Tony’s searching look, forcing her gaze towards Providence in the distance. She brought her fist to her mouth, bit into the knuckles. She wished it were a windy morning. That would help to explain the way her eyes were watering.

  It had been years since she’d last cried about anything.

  “So, I was right,” Tony murmured behind her. “Christ, Willa. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” she said over her shoulder, glad for once that her tone was clipped and flat.

  “I’d have to be blind not to have noticed the way my brother looks at you,” he persisted. “Hell, I’ve been looking at you, too. But it’s different with him. In the office last Friday, there was a moment when you two… Damn it, maybe I’m way off base here. But, if I’m not, I felt you should know about Julia. I didn’t want you getting your hopes up over something that can never happen.”

  Willa quickly dried her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt and took a quivering breath. “I think the person you should be talking to is your brother, not me.” She pulled a calm mask over her face before swinging around to face Tony again. “What you’ve seen is that I can be extremely awkward or anxious when I’m with groups of people. That’s all. Your brother seems to get that. He was just being patient and…nice.”

  It was clear that Tony didn’t believe her. His expression was troubled. “I will speak with my brother. Julia deserves to be happy. After everything she’s done for us. Marrying Joe has always been her dream.” He lowered his eyes, but not before Willa caught the strange bitterness lurking in their depths.

  “Yes. It sounds like she’s already been a member of your family for years. Might as well make it official.” She straightened her shoulders and pasted a smile on her face, a smile that she felt wobble a little. “I’ll have to congratulate your brother when I see him.” She started walking back towards the park.

  Tony’s hand on her arm stalled her. “Please hold off until I tell him that I talked with you, okay? I hate going behind his back like this.”

  She studied him, noting his genuine concern when he spoke about his brother. “I’m an only child. I don’t know what it’s like to have a brother or a sister. You really love him a lot, don’t you.”

  “Yeah, I do. He’s sacrificed so much for me and Sylvie. It took me a while to realize that. I was a real asshole—excuse my language—during my teens. I gave Joe a ton of grief. But my Uncle Nick knocked some sense into me.” He made a sweeping gesture with his hand. “That’s what this is all about. My way of thanking Joe, of paying him back.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “This television series. We’re going to make a lot of money if it takes off. I want my brother to have the financial security he’s never had. It was a huge struggle after my parents died. Joe grew up helping my dad with the construction company, but he sure as hell wasn’t ready to take on managing it on his own. He made mistakes, the company almost went under. But he kept at it. He worked his ass off. And it was never for himself. He never wanted to take over the family business. He only did it for us. For me and Sylvie.”

  She was shocked to see a gleam of tears in Tony’s light brown eyes. She didn’t know what to say, so she kept silent as he quickly pulled himself together.

  “Joe put me through college. I got a business degree. As soon as I graduated, I began working for the company fulltime, took some of the burden off my brother. See, I did want to work with my Dad. That was his plan for me. That I’d take it over someday. He knew Joe wasn’t really interested.”

  “I looked at your company website. You co-own the business with Joe, right?”

  “Yes. But he brought me into that partnership; it’s only a verbal agreement. I didn’t buy my share. Not yet, anyway. As soon as I have enough ready cash, I’m going to make it fair and square.”

  Willa remembered Veronica telling her that it hadn’t been Joe’s idea to do the series. Tony was the one who’d sent the audition tapes to the network. “I don’t think your brother really wanted to do this series,” she said. “He’s only doing it for you.”

  Tony flinched. “Damn, you’re smart. I think the same thing, too. I pushed hard for this. But Joe never said no to the deal. He’s g
iven me one hundred percent all the way, just like he always has.” He grimaced, suddenly looking torn. “And here I go, talking behind his back. Christ. What if there is something deeper here... What right do I have to interfere, after everything he’s done for me?” He gave a harsh exhale. “But what about Julia?”

  Willa felt the beginning of a headache at the base of her skull. Their conversation had introduced a wild array of emotions into her system; it was way more than she could handle all at once. She needed time and space to process everything Tony had shared with her. “You’re mistaken in what you saw,” she assured him, anxious to be alone for a while. “I’m…glad you told me about your family and Julia. I feel like I know both you and Joe better now. And I do trust you.”

  It seemed like Tony wanted to say more on the subject. But he must have picked up on her anxiety because he relaxed his features into his customary, charming smile. “Don’t speak too soon. You haven’t been in a car with me yet.” He nodded towards the park and the paved area that abutted it. “I drove down here. Trust me to get you back to your house in one piece?”

  Willa forced a laugh. “If you don’t, Veronica will beat you up.”

  “She’s not the one I’m worried about,” she heard him mutter darkly as he followed her.

  The front yard was swarming with people as Tony pulled his car in behind the remote video truck that was parked along the curb. “We’ve got a bunch of our guys here today, too,” he explained. “We only have this one day to gut the place out.” His eyes traveled over Willa’s attire. “In case Veronica didn’t tell you, you need to wear jeans, close-toed shoes and a shirt you don’t mind getting dirty.”

  “Okay,” Willa said. “I’ll go get ready.”

  Through the windshield, she saw Joe striding towards the car with an unreadable expression. He came to the passenger side and opened the door. He held out his hand to her. Without a second thought, she placed her hand in his and let him draw her out of the car.

  “Hello, Willa.”

  “Hello.”

  He stood close to her, keeping her hand in his. She had to arch her head back to look at his face. But he wasn’t looking at her. He was looking over the roof of the car, his eyes narrowed on his brother. “Where were you?” he asked Tony, his voice sharp and intense.

  “On the beach,” Tony said, sounding defensive. “Collette told me Willa was there taking a walk. I brought her coffee.”

  Joe’s thumb rubbed across the inside of Willa’s wrist. She gave a little start. He pulled his glare off his brother and looked down at her. His eyes glittered strangely as they swept across her features.

  She felt her headache expanding, clawing upwards from the nape of her neck. Her body felt taut, stretched like the strings on a violin. Her face must have revealed her tension, because Joe leaned closer, his face softening with concern.

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  “I have a headache,” she said stiffly.

  “Have you had breakfast?”

  “No.”

  He tugged at her hand. “Come on. Veronica brought in craft services today since it’s going to be an all-day shoot. Let’s get you something to eat. And an aspirin.”

  “No.” She tugged back until he slowly released her hand. “No, I have medicine upstairs. And I need to get ready.”

  She lowered her eyes from his searching, worried gaze.

  “Okay,” he conceded, taking a step back, giving her space to move away. “We’ll see you in a little bit then.”

  She felt both men watching her as she walked to the garage and up the staircase. Once behind the closed door, she released an agonized breath and brought her hands to her face.

  It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. Why did Joe look at her that way? Why did he talk to her that way if he was engaged to be married?

  Through the window screen above the kitchen sink, she heard Joe’s raised voice, then Tony’s. It sounded like they were arguing.

  She lowered her hands, walked over to the window and stared at the street below. Joe was shaking his head as Tony spoke to him in a quieter voice. She couldn’t hear what the younger brother was saying. Joe flung up his hands in a gesture of denial, stepped away from his brother. He paced, and then stood still, hands fisted on his hips, looking at the ground as Tony continued talking to him. Then Joe’s shoulders sagged as if in defeat. He gave a curt nod of his head, appearing to agree to something, before walking away. Tony stood there for a while, watching his brother. He rubbed one hand across the back of his neck, his own shoulders drooping as if carrying a heavy weight.

  Willa closed her eyes, but that only made her headache worse. She searched through a cupboard for her prescription medicine, filled a glass with water. It usually took a half hour for the medicine to kick in. She forced herself to eat half of a banana and a cup of yogurt. Then she headed for the shower.

  Someone was knocking at the door when she emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later. Tightening the belt on her robe, she went to the door, relieved to see it was Veronica peering through the window.

  “Hey, there,” Veronica said in a cheery tone as Willa opened the door. “How are you feeling? Tony said you have a headache?”

  “It’s almost gone,” Willa said truthfully. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

  “We’ve got some time yet.” Veronica scanned Willa’s face. “You look really pale. We’ll get some extra foundation on you. What are you going to wear?”

  Willa led her into the bedroom and waved towards the closet. “I was planning to wear jeans and a shirt. You can pick out the shirt.”

  Willa slipped into her underwear and jeans while Veronica sorted through the closet.

  “It has to be something you don’t mind getting dirty or torn. How about this?” Veronica said. She held up a tangerine-colored, long-sleeved polo shirt. “This color will help warm up your skin tone.”

  Willa shrugged. “That’s fine.” She pulled on the shirt, then stood at the vanity table and brushed out her hair in front of the mirror.

  “Willa, are you okay? You seem…down.”

  Willa tugged her hair back into a ponytail. “I am feeling down. Tony told me about their parents dying in a fire. Do you know that story?”

  Veronica stood behind Willa, frowning at her own reflection. “Yes. That came up during the audition process. But we aren’t bringing that into this series. We’re introducing Tony and Joe as two brothers who inherited the business their father started.”

  Willa turned around. “You need to honor their parents somehow. Maybe have a picture of them in the credits? A dedication?”

  “Not a bad idea,” Veronica said consideringly. “I’ll ask the guys if they’re okay with that. Is that all that’s bothering you?”

  “Yes.”

  Veronica pursed her lips, studying Willa with a storyteller’s eye. Then she sighed. “Alright, then. Let’s get you in make-up and do the sound check.”

  She paused on her way out the door. “I’ve asked Collette to be on the shoot today. The guys really like her. I think the viewers will get a kick out of watching her work with the crew.”

  “Okay,” Willa said. “I know Collette will enjoy that.”

  “Besides,” Veronica continued, an edge to her voice. “She’s the comic relief. Something tells me we’re going to need that today.”

  Chapter Six

  Whomp!

  Willa hefted the sledgehammer over her shoulder again and swung it against the interior wall between the dining room and the bedroom.

  Whomp!

  Plaster shattered. Particles of dust and debris flew into the air.

  She paid no attention to Steve the cameraman standing in the corner. All her focus was on this wall. She was going to tear it down. Yank out every nail. Rip out every lath.

  With each stroke of the sledgehammer, every blow against the stubborn wall, she felt another brief flare of satisfaction, another small release of an anger that was so deep she wondered if she’d ever reach t
he bottom of it.

  At its core was her father. Visions of him swam in front of her eyes as she swung the hammer. His face loomed close to hers. “Think, Wilhelmina. Use that brain of yours. That brain I gave you. Stop playing games.” But she’d wanted to play games. She had wanted to get lost in her pretend stories of knights and magicians and strange, mystical lands. She’d wanted to play outside with the other girls and boys that she had seen from her bedroom window.

  Whomp!

  She felt the tight grip of her father’s hand, his fingers digging sharply into her arm. “What did I say about reading those ridiculous fairytales? You won’t win the Nobel Prize if you allow that fluff to clutter your mind. You’ll read what I tell you to read. Do you understand? Look at me, Wilhelmina. Stop daydreaming.”

  She’d tried once to recall any memory of him where he’d been warm and kind. But there were none. Any softness of character that he might have possessed had died along with her mother.

  Whomp!

  Take that, all of you people that didn’t see, or chose not see: neighbors, her father’s colleagues, her teachers and professors, those primping, fatuous television interviewers.

  Whomp!

  Who was this Julia Kelly? What was she like? What did she look like? Was she pretty? Gentle and good? She must be. Willa couldn’t envision any other sort of woman for Joe. This Julia sounded like a veritable saint. She’d been there every day to take care of Tony and Sylvie. Had she made their dinner and packed their school lunches and washed their clothes? Had she waited at the door every night for Joe—tired, hard-working Joe—to come home?

  And she owned her own business now. She must be smart. Not as smart as Willa. But Julia probably had street smarts. The kind of smarts Willa wished she had. Julia was probably like the girls in those chick-flick movies: pretty, witty, and flirty—a bright young thing. She didn’t take practically every spoken word literally like Willa did, didn’t have to weigh and consider and analyze. She probably had a lilting, lovely voice, not one that usually came out flat and stilted.