The Miracle Baby Box Set: Volume One: Books 1 - 4

by Hamel, B. B.

  “You don’t look so good.”

  I come to a halt and turn my head toward one of the black SUVs parked to my left. Toddy’s face grins at me out the window.

  “Mayor?” I ask, feeling dizzy.

  “Come on, you poor girl,” he says, opening the door. “Come in here.”

  I don’t know why I listen. Nobody’s paying attention to me, and the SUV’s empty aside from Toddy, but I’m not in my right mind. I’m still freaking out about the girl. Toddy’s the last person I should want to talk to, but apparently that thought doesn’t occur to me until I’m already climbing into the car.

  I pull the door shut and lean back in the seat, breathing fast.

  “Okay,” he says. “Just take it easy. Deep breaths, real slow, like this.” He breathes in and out, slow and exaggerated. “Go ahead, you do it, in and out. Nice and slow, good.”

  I listen to him, breathing deep and slow, getting myself under control. My hands are trembling but my heart’s slowing down and I feel like I’m at least partially in control of myself now.

  I look over at Toddy and he’s smiling at me. He’s still wearing the exact same shirt and pants he was wearing the last time I saw him, except now they’re filthy, practically soiled. His eyes are red rimmed and manic but his smile seems genuine enough, almost paternalistic.

  “There you go,” he says. “All calmed down. You shouldn’t have gone to see her.”

  “What was her name?” I don’t know why I ask.

  He shrugs. “Said it was Starlet, but I doubt that.”

  “You didn’t even know her name,” I say softly.

  “No, I didn’t.” He muses a little bit, pursing his lips. “Strange how we can enter each other’s lives for so short a period, but make such a big impact.”

  I stare at him for a second. “Did you kill her?”

  “No,” he says. “Not my style. The heroin killed her.”

  “Since when did you do heroin?”

  “Since today, or maybe yesterday, I can’t really be sure.” He shrugs and laughs a little wickedly. “One hell of a bender I’ve been on.”

  I glare at him. “You know the mafia is coming after me and Elias now, right?”

  He looks back at me and his smile slowly fades. “Are they?”

  “Yes,” I say, feeling angry now. “You’re letting your son take the fall for your own mistakes.”

  “I guess you could see it that way,” he says softly. “From my perspective, my son is victim to a broken system, and that’s no more my fault than anything else in this world is.”

  “It’s completely your fault, Toddy. You got into debt. Now you’re refusing to pay it.”

  “Maybe,” he says, and laughs a little bit. “Or maybe it’s Raymond’s fault for giving me more and more money and power. Or maybe it’s my wife’s fault for convincing me to have children. Or maybe it’s your fault for, I don’t fucking know, something.” He shrugs a little bit. “Life is complicated, my little chickadee. Lots of bad shit happens, but how can I be held responsible for acts that are outside of my control?” He stretches his legs and looks out the window before looking back at me. “I’m the mayor, chickadee. I’m the most powerful man in Providence. Raymond, he’s just a thug, he’ll cave. He can’t hurt me or anyone I care about. None of this is my fault, he’ll see, and I’ll use all my power against him to destroy him.” He nods to himself, grinning madly. “You’ll see. I’ll fix it.”

  I stare at him, completely at a loss for words. His total level of denial and self-indulgence shocks me, although it probably shouldn’t. This is the most corrupt mayor in the history of the whole damn world. Elias has been telling me over and over that Toddy is a bad person, rotten to the core, not worth trying to help or save. We’re only doing it because we need Toddy.

  But part of me thought that was just exaggeration. Part of me thought that Toddy would come through in the end, because Elias is his son, and Toddy’s still a person after all. I couldn’t imagine the kind of man that would shove his son in front of a moving truck like this, but clearly I was fooling myself.

  Toddy’s delusional. His total lack of self-awareness, his narcissism, his willingness to destroy his own son is so horrifying that I almost want to scream.

  “Why did you want to see me?” I ask suddenly.

  He blinks then laughs. “Oh, yeah, that’s right. Did I get any important calls while I was away?”

  “What?” I ask flatly.

  “In the office,” he says, grinning huge. “Did you ask my secretary? Any important calls?”

  I watch him for another second before I push open the door and get out of the car.

  “Wait,” he says, “where are you going? I need my calls!”

  I shut the door and walk away, head reeling. He’s an insane man, completely and utterly insane. And we’re so totally screwed. I turn away from the SUV and start back toward Elias’s truck, horrified, angry, frightened, when someone grabs my arm.

  I turn around, ready to scream, but he has me. He pulls me against him. “It’s okay,” he says, “it’s just me. It’s Elias.”

  I groan and hug him tight. “Fuck, Elias,” I say.

  “What happened? You just disappeared for a second.”

  I pull him tight and he holds me there. I don’t care that Marko’s guys are watching us, or that Toddy is in the SUV a few feet away, gibbering about important government business. I just need to feel Elias to remind myself why I’m here and why I haven’t lost it completely.

  Slowly I pull back. He kisses my lips gently. “You okay?”

  “I’m okay,” I say. “We need to give Toddy over to Raymond.”

  He laughs softly. “Really? I thought you wanted to help him.”

  “Fuck him,” I say.

  That makes him laugh even more. “Well, well, well, look at you. Finally seeing the light.”

  “He’s insane, Elias. I mean it, he’s insane.”

  “Well, he’s definitely high right now,” Elias says. “Marko told me they found a ton of drugs in his car, so who knows what he’s been taking lately.”

  “He’s a monster. He doesn’t care if you go down for this whole thing, as long as it doesn’t touch him.”

  “I know,” Elias says softly, still smiling slightly. “But we have a better idea.”

  I look up into his eyes and I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before.”

  “It’s okay.” He kisses me softly again and takes my hand in his. “We’re going to get through this.”

  “Are you sure? The only person that can really solve any of this is a selfish psycho.”

  “Hey,” Elias says softly, tipping my chin up toward him. “Toddy can’t save us and he never will. But I’m going to.”

  I meet his gaze and kiss him one more time. I realize that deep down, I believe him. I know it’s insane, or maybe irresponsible, but I do.

  Elias is nothing like his father. He’s the opposite of Toddy. Elias is caring, kind, loving, and willing to help other people. Toddy makes me sick, even a little afraid. But Elias gives me hope.

  I kiss him again and slowly my nerves calm, and I know I’m doing the right thing.

  22

  Elias

  I don’t ask Marko what they do with the girl’s body. One second, she’s in the trunk and the next, she’s gone. I don’t ask and I really don’t want to know. They make the problem go away, and that’s all there is to it.

  One half of the problem, anyway. Toddy’s the other half, and he’s half insane on drugs and strung out beyond belief. Marko and his guys help me get him home and we lock Toddy in his bedroom, barring the door and the windows, making sure he can’t escape. He rants and raves for an hour before finally calming down.

  Alexa and I sit at the kitchen table, talking idly, trying to figure out what to do. Marko and his boys leave after Toddy’s secured, which is good. I don’t want them hanging around for this. Marko trusts his guys, but I’m not so sure. They all know Raymond has a bounty
out for Toddy.

  Alexa paces around the kitchen, clearly having a hard time waiting. It’s late, and I know she needs sleep, but I also know she’s not going to until I do.

  But I have one more thing I need to do tonight.

  “What do you think?” I ask her.

  She pauses, looks at the clock, and sighs. “He’s been quiet for about an hour now.”

  “As good a time as any, then,” I say.

  She nods. “I don’t know about this, Elias.”

  “I know.” I stand up and sigh. “What else can we do?”

  “It’s just, will he really listen?”

  “Maybe,” I say. “If I’m reasonable and he’s sober. But if he won’t, I’ll make him.”

  She chews on her lip, but she nods, not arguing. I squeeze her hand on the way past before heading upstairs and toward Toddy’s bedroom.

  Alexa follows at a distance. I come up to the barred room and slowly pull it all down. I turn the knobs and push the door open, expecting Toddy to come attack me, but nothing happens.

  I glance back at Alexa then step into the dark room. Toddy’s lying on the bed, and for a second, I think he might be dead. I run over to him and roll him over onto his back, but he just grins up at me, blinking and smiling.

  “There you are,” he says, his voice hoarse from yelling. “I was calling for you earlier.”

  I step away. “I thought you were dead.”

  “No, but I feel it.” He sits up a little bit. “What time is it?”

  “Late.” I switch on a bedside lamp and Toddy blinks at the light. “How are you feeling? You sober?”

  “Sober?” He laughs. “No, not really. I don’t think I’m ever sober, though.”

  “We need to talk.” I stand next to the bed, arms crossed. Alexa lingers in the doorway, not wanting to get any closer.

  Toddy sits up against the headboard and sighs. “I’m sure we do, but it can wait until the morning.”

  “No, Toddy. It has to be now.”

  He looks up at me and for a second, there’s a flash of anger. But it leaves as quickly as it appears. “What do you want from me, son?”

  “Don’t call me son,” I say softly. “You know what I need.”

  “I can’t give that to you. I don’t have the money to pay Raymond.”

  “Yes, you do. We’re going to sell this house and everything in it, including all your cars.” He has two antique trucks downstairs in the garage, each of them worth a decent amount of money. “Absolutely everything. Then we’ll give it all to Raymond, even if it’s too much.”

  Toddy laughs weakly at that. “I’m the mayor,” he says. “I can’t sell off everything I own. I’d be laughed out of Providence. And this place is my fucking life.”

  “Yes, you can,” I say harshly. “Because if you don’t, you’ll be dead. I’ll be dead.” I pause and look at Alexa. “Your grandchild might be dead, too.”

  Toddy follows my gaze and quickly looks away from her. “No. I can’t do it.”

  “For once in your miserable life,” I say, and the words are like hot lava in my throat, “please, just do the right thing.”

  He looks up at me and for a second, I think he might actually agree. There’s a spark of sympathy there, probably not for me, but maybe for Alexa. For the briefest of moments, I expect humanity out of my father, despite all the years and all the fucked up things he’s done telling me otherwise. Instead, he shakes his head. “I can’t,” he says. “I’m the mayor.”

  “You care more about being mayor than you do about your family,” I say flatly, although I feel myself falling. I don’t know why I let myself hope, but that hope is gone. I recognize the tone in his voice. I know he won’t do the right thing.

  He’s Toddy. He’ll do what Toddy wants, and nothing more.

  “I love this city,” he says. “This city is my family. Every single person in here is a child to me, a grandchild, a brother. I won’t risk losing the city’s respect.”

  I’d laugh at that, but none of this is funny. “You’re going to lose all that if you don’t do this, don’t you get it? Raymond’s going to know you’re back sooner or later, and when he finds out, he’ll kill you. Then you’ll be the mayor that got murdered by the mob. The corrupt, dead mayor.”

  He watches me for a second, and I think this might be working. “You’d let them do that to me?” he asks softly. “You’d let them destroy your good name?”

  I want to scream at him that he destroyed my good name a long time ago, but I keep it together. “You’re not leaving me any other choice. Sell the house, all your stuff, and pay Raymond. Or else I’ll hand you over to him myself.”

  His eyes go wide. “You can’t. You wouldn’t. I’m your father.”

  “I will. And I’d enjoy it.” I lean toward him. “You want to survive, keep loving the city, maybe even stay mayor? Do what I’m telling you to do.”

  This is the moment I’ve pinned my hopes on. He watches me and I glance at Alexa. I can see the worry in her face, the way she chews her lip, the way she fidgets.

  When I look back at Toddy, he’s laughing.

  “Fuck that,” he says. “I’m the fucking mayor, and I don’t bow to fucking anyone.”

  His grin is vicious, vindictive, disgusting. It feels so fucking satisfying when I punch him square in the teeth.

  His head snaps back and hits the headboard. He groans and I hit him again in the face, again, again, smashing my fists against him. He tries to fight back, struggling to get his arms up, but I slap them away and hit him over and over. Blood covers my fists, oozing from his mouth and eyes.

  I grab his throat with both my hands, and I know I’m going to kill him. I know I’m going to. I’ll bring Raymond his body, tell Raymond he can have the house, I don’t care, but I have to do it. I have to kill my father.

  I squeeze and Toddy gags, his eyes wide, his mouth bloody, but he doesn’t seem surprised. If anything, he seems resigned.

  The only thing that stops me is the screaming. It pierces through the red haze of my rage and I finally look over my shoulder. Alexa is pulling at me, screaming in my ear, and I only figure out what she’s saying slowly.

  “Stop!” she screams. “You’re going to kill him, you have to stop!”

  I look at her, completely dumb. Toddy is grabbing at my hands, choking and gagging and trying to pull me away, and all at once I let go.

  He collapses onto his side, gasping and coughing. I stumble away from him, my hands red with his blood. Alexa follows me but I move away from her, my eyes wide, my heart pounding.

  “Elias,” she says, coming toward me.

  “Stop, get away from me,” I say. “I was going to kill him. I was going to do it, if you weren’t there to stop me, I would have… I was going to do it, Alexa.”

  She keeps coming toward me. I don’t know why. I’m a monster, a killer, a fucking freak. I’m the son of that bastard and I hate myself for it. I have him inside of me, and although I’ve spent my life trying to be better than he could ever be, I still failed. I let him break me. I gave in.

  “It’s okay,” she says. “Elias, it’s okay. You didn’t kill him, it’s okay.”

  “I would have,” I say. “I wanted to. I still want to.”

  “It’s okay. You didn’t.”

  My hands are shaking and still covered in blood but she hugs me. Toddy is groaning on the bed but he’s not trying to run. I pull Alexa against me, hugging her close, my heart racing so fast I can barely breathe.

  But slowly, I get myself together. I’m reminded why I’m doing this. I’m reminded who I’m doing this for.

  I pull back and kiss her softly. “We’ll take care of this,” I say. “With or without his help.”

  “I trust you,” she says back, and I kiss her one more time. The kiss lingers and she presses tighter against me. I can feel my blood boil and something start to rise inside of me.

  I pull her away from Toddy’s room. As we leave, I hear him say something. “I’m the fuckin
g mayor.” It comes out as a ragged growl.

  Outside, we shut the doors and bar them again, trapping him in there.

  I turn to her and push her up against a wall. I kiss her slow and deep and I know I need her, right now. I can’t wait. I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s just the adrenaline coursing through me, but I need her so badly I can barely breathe.

  And based on the way she’s kissing me back, I know she needs me, too.

  23

  Alexa

  His touch makes my body tremble as he pulls me into a side room, not even bothering to make it a few doors down to his normal spot. He throws the door shut and presses me up against it again, his hands roaming my body, touching my skin, lips against mine, tongue against mine.

  I’m practically quivering with desire and need and I don’t know how it’s all come down to this.

  As he pulls my shirt off, I think about how we first met, that first night at the office party. I was almost an entirely different person back then. I was coasting through my life, stressed about bills, stressed about debt, but not doing anything special. I was just existing day to day, going to work, going home. It was like a living dream, but not the kind where you get to fly through cotton candy clouds or swim in a sea of Jell-O.

  It was the gray, mundane, boring slog of a life that’s only half worth living. Sure, it was safe, or at least as safe as it could be with my debt and money problems hanging over me. There wasn’t any physical danger at least, no mobster threatening my life, nothing like that.

  And there wasn’t a baby, and there wasn’t Elias.

  Now, though, ever since all this happened, I feel so much more alive than I ever have before. I know it’s not just the danger, either. That’s going to pass sooner or later. Elias is going to figure this out and get us out of this mess, and when he does, it’s just going to be a normal life.

  But a normal life with Elias is better than anything else I could imagine.

  I got a glimpse of it living with him this last week. The boring stuff suddenly doesn’t feel so boring with him involved, it feels like the biggest, most important thing ever. He somehow makes me want to do these things, or at least he makes life so much more bearable, fun, exciting. I know he’s the thing that’s keeping me going all through this, him and my baby.