Indwell (Chasing Natalie's Ghosts)

by Nicole Smith

  “How can you know all this? I did love Joe or Hayden, back then. What other powers do you have?” I asked, shocked.

  “Our senses are so much more attuned than yours. We understand by feeling not just seeing and hearing. I can’t read minds but I can read the heart,” she said smiling. I helped her up.

  “We should go now!” Joshua said.

  “Would you like to spend the evening with us?” she asked.

  “Um, I don’t know, I need time to think all this through,” I said.

  “He will find you soon. Hayden has a lot of friends in the city. I know he will be searching all night for you and will find you no matter where you spend the night,” Joshua warned me.

  “Let’s go have some fun,” Millicent offered.

  “There is way too much seriousness going on here. Joshua, can we take her to the Funhouse, please?” she asked. This was the first time I’ve seen him smile and it was so refreshing. He had the kind of smile that could light up a room.

  “Sure, why not?” Joshua led the way, checking the street before letting us out.

  “If you’re so adamant that he will find me why are you helping me hide from him?” I asked. Joshua grinned.

  “I think he needs to realize he shouldn’t take you for granted. He needs to be reminded how important you are. Hayden needs a little humbling from time to time,” he said laughing lightly.

  “So what is the Funhouse?” I asked Millicent.

  “It’s a dance club, but not your normal type. It’s a lot of fun. You’ll be sweaty and exhausted by the end of the evening. It’s a blast!” she said smiling. I wasn’t so sure.

  “If it’s a club full of the living won’t I look strange going in by myself, dancing and laughing alone?” I pointed out to her sarcastically.

  “That would make you look crazy Natalie,” she laughed.

  “We are going to go to a friend’s house first. They are a couple of living humans that really want to meet you. Don’t worry, they are really nice,” Millicent said.

  “How do they know me and why do they want to meet me?” I asked.

  “In the beginning, when Hayden would talk to us about you and Adam we kind of told them everything,” she explained.

  “Nice,” I said sarcastically.

  “He talked about you because he loves you,” she tried to make me feel better.

  “Right, which I still don’t believe and another question, I thought you said I was unique in my talent to see you and now you’re bringing me to other humans that can see and hear you?” I asked, still feeling so confused.

  “I didn’t say they could see us. They can hear us and sense us when we are in the room. They can get filtered images in their minds that come pretty close but they can’t actually see us like you can and they certainly can’t touch us. Which is why your relationship with Adam is so amazing. Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure,” I said trying to understand her relationship with these people she was bringing me to.

  “If you were in a room full of humans, living and nonliving, would you be able to tell the difference?” she asked. She squinted as she stared at me. I smiled, remembering Cheveyo when I was little and Elizabeth, in my closet holding her hand out to me. I knew Anton was not living in this realm and then I was reminded of Adam again. When I first met him I had no idea. It was months later when it finally hit me. Millicent watched the expressions on my face. She already knew the answer. Joshua seemed shocked but interested too.

  “I really find it hard to believe just how real we are to you! It’s no wonder Adam couldn’t resist you,” he said looking at me with such disbelief. I wished they would stop saying his name. I was starting to feel the emptiness in my chest again. I was starting to feel so alone, especially now that things were so wrong with Hayden. He is furious with me, I knew it. Why did I run off like a crazy person? Oh right, because I am crazy, I sighed heavily.

  “Here we are,” Millicent said as we approached an old house just off the main street. There were restaurants and stores everywhere. This old red brick house looked so out of place, but so perfect as well. We climbed the cement stairs and opened the black front door.

  “Is that you Millie?” a young woman’s voice called from another room.

  “Yes Ava, it’s us and we have a visitor!” Millicent seemed to be talking differently. She was pronouncing all her words very articulately, very clearly as though she was talking to someone from another country.

  Ava appeared in the hallway. I guess to her it may have looked strange. Here was this stranger walking into her house alone and standing in her hallway staring at the wall. Actually I was watching Millicent, waiting for her to introduce us.

  “Hi. I’m Ava,” she said offering me her hand to shake. She was quite different. I don’t think I have seen anyone like her before. She was thin and taller than me by a few inches. Her hair was long and black. It was straight and fell all the way down her back. She was wearing black Doc Marten boots, her tights were black and white stripped and her black knit dress was short and snug. She actually looked like a lot of fun. I smiled and told her I was Natalie. Ava gasped and looked to Millicent.

  “Is it really her?” she squealed.

  “Yes, Ava, it is her,” she said seriously.

  “Where is Hayden? Does he know she is here?” she asked Joshua, I think, because she was looking in his general direction, but she was off a bit.

  “No, Hayden doesn’t know where she is but he is getting closer,” he said, looking at me.

  “We decided to bring Natalie out for some fun before Hayden catches up to her. I want to bring her to the Funhouse tonight,” Millicent told her.

  “We will need your help though. Natalie doesn’t want to look insane for some reason, you know, talking to the air and dancing alone,” she was smiling and dancing as she said this.

  “Hey, that’s not fair,” I said, not knowing if she knew I was recently released from the mental ward.

  “Sorry, I forgot. I didn’t mean it literally,” she apologized. I smiled at her. Just then, Ava yelled.

  “Mark, come here. We have an important guest.” A tall skinny man came walking into the hallway.

  “Oh, ‘ello, I’m Mark and you are?” he asked gruffly.

  “Mark this is Natalie,” Ava informed him before I had a chance to say anything.

  “Well then, come right in! Please, make yourself at home,” he said with a charming British accent. His flat, blond Mohawk bounced as he walked. He wore jeans with holes in the knees and his red suspenders hung down around his butt. He was wearing a Ramones tee shirt with a dress shirt over top. He was actually kind of cute, in a rough sort of way. His five o’clock shadow made him look a little tougher than I think he really was.

  “Hi Joshua, Millicent?” he said, looking around. I smiled and laughed.

  “They are over there,” I said, pointing in the opposite direction.

  “Right, I’m kind of rusty this morning,” he explained. It wasn’t actually the morning any more either, but I decided not to be too smug. He lit a cigarette and told me to sit. I sat down on their large old couch. It had huge cushions on it, I had to move them aside to sit on it. The wallpaper in the room looked like it had been there for years. It was starting to peel in a number of different spots, and there had been a leak or two judging by the stains on the ceiling. The floor was actually a really nice hardwood but they had put throw rugs everywhere. I didn’t see an animal but I thought I smelled one.

  “Can I offer you a beer or something?” he asked.

  “No thank you,” I replied, not wanting to think about their kitchen. Hayden has spoiled me. I used to live like this myself on occasion, when my mother would give up for a while, and let things go. I had no right being particular now.

  “Actually, I could really use a drink after the day I’ve had so far, if you don’t mind?” I asked, apologetically.

  “No worries. I’ll be right back,” he said as he ran into the other room. Ava w
as looking me up and down.

  “You’re so much younger and smaller than I thought you would be. When did you start to see ghosts?” she asked. Before I answered Mark came back into the room and handed me a drink.

  “Thank you,” I said smiling.

  “My pleasure,” he said turning on some music.

  “Well Ava, I’ve seen ghosts, since as far back as I have memories,” I replied. Everyone seemed amazed by my answer.

  “So, like, just so I get this straight, you can see them clearly, as though they are completely alive and you can hear them clearly as well?” Mark asked curiously.

  “Oh yes, I can and so much more,” I said taking a sip, trying not to think of my nights with Adam, especially that last night we shared at his house.

  “So you can feel them too, right? You can grab their hands and run your fingers through their hair if you wanted too?” he asked. I nodded laughing.

  “Come here Joshua and let me show you,” I laughed too.

  “Maybe later, darling!” Joshua said smirking.

  “That’s fucking amazing!” Mark blurted out. I jumped, surprised by his enthusiasm.

  “I guess it is,” I said.

  “So did I hear there is to be some revelry tonight?” he asked.

  “Yes, we want you and Ava to bring Natalie with you to the Funhouse. Joshua and I will come too,” Millicent explained.

  “That’s a great plan, there is going to be some wild bands tonight. It will be a blast. Do you have any steal toed shoes or boots? I’d hate for your toes to get stomped,” he asked.

  “Unfortunately, I don’t have much at all,” I explained meekly. That’s when Ava jumped up.

  “Oh Natalie, can I dress you up tonight? I have lots of outfits to choose from, we are close enough in size. It’ll be fun, I’ll do your hair and you can wear a pair of my shit kickers,” she said smiling and jumped on her couch.

  “How can I say no?” I replied laughing. I haven’t felt like a regular teenager in a long time, if ever. This might be the closest I get, I thought smirking.

  We spent the rest of the day talking casually and drinking. Mark taught me some drinking games and we lit up a few `special’ cigarettes. I was feeling pretty great by the time we went upstairs to find an outfit for me to wear. Ava pulled out three dresses for me to choose from. One was a dark blue mini dress, the second was black and long and the third one was blood red and short. That’s the one I chose. She gave me a pair of black socks that went above my knees, leaving a little bit of skin showing from where the sock ended and the skirt started. I loved it on me. I have never worn anything that made me feel so sexy, aside from the nightgown Hayden gave me. She finished it off by lending me a pair of Doc Martens to protect my feet. She straightened my long brown hair and parted it far over to one side so it covered one of my eyes a little. She said it made me look mysterious. Perfect, I thought. She went to work on my face. She put black eyeliner under my eyes, a light smoky shadow on my lids then curled my eyelashes. Once she applied the black mascara she put red lipstick on my lips and painted my nails black. I stood up to look in her mirror.

  “Wow, I don’t even recognize myself. You are amazing!” I told her. I couldn’t stop smiling.

  “Hayden won’t recognize you either,” Millicent said as she came in. She gave me a quick hug. I squeezed her back and noticed Ava was in awe of this. She must have seen my hair move and my arms holding something invisible to her. Joshua walked in after her.

  “Are you decent?” he asked, smiling.

  “What do you think?” I asked him, as I twirled around.

  “Well I wouldn’t say you’re decent. You look like a beautiful seductress ready for the night,” Joshua grinned.

  “Thank you. That is exactly the look we were going for,” I said, smiling.

  “Why didn’t anyone tell me the party was in here?” Mark said as he came stumbling into the room.

  “Holy Shit!” he stammered. “Who the hell is this? Be still my beating heart,” he swooned.

  “You’re too sweet,” I said pinching his cheek.

  “You’re beautiful!” he said as he walked behind me and pinched my butt. I laughed.

  “Watch yourself!” Ava scolded and smacked his hand.

  “So sorry, where are my manners,” he said sounding so sophisticated.

  “It’s time to go,” Joshua said, ominously. I started to wonder if he was setting me up for something. Did he let Hayden know I was here? I hoped not.

  Millicent grabbed my hand as we walked down the cement steps. I turned to make sure Ava and Mark were not far behind me. I wanted to enter the club with them. Millicent sensed my nervousness and told me to relax. This was supposed to be a fun night. I nodded, reassuring myself. I needed to just let go and have fun. I was young after all.

  Once we reached the entrance to the club Mark stepped out in front and grasped Ava’s hand and mine. He was feeling very confident as he approached the entrance of the club with two women on either side of him. As we entered the club the bouncer seemed to recognize Mark right away. He came walking over quickly.

  “Hey Mark. You are one lucky man tonight! Who are you with? Ava, my darling, you look lovely as always,” he said as he kissed her cheek.

  “And who is this beauty on your other arm?” he asked.

  “This lovely lady is Natalie,” Mark told him, as he squeezed my hand.

  “Natalie, it is my pleasure to meet you, have a good night guys,” he said excitedly. Once inside Ava grabbed my hand and led me over to a small group of tables at the other side of the room. Mark stayed back to talk to the bouncer. I saw them look over to us and then back to each other. I hoped there wouldn’t be a problem over my age. Mark walked over to us and sat down beside Ava. He whispered something in her ear that made her glance quickly at me.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, prepared to have to leave.

  “I’m sorry honey. I didn’t mean to upset you. Let’s just have some fun while we can. Mark darling, can you get us a couple drinks please,” Ava asked him.

  “Yes, of course,” he said getting up and walking over to the bar. The club was starting to fill up quickly. There were some really interesting people here.

  “Natalie!” Ava grabbed my hand.

  “Yes?” I replied.

  “Apparently Hayden has been asking around all day if anyone around here has seen you. Up until now, of course, nobody has. I can’t guarantee Hayden hasn’t put out some sort of compensation for your safe return. I just thought you should know he will probably show up before the night is over,” she warned. Mark reappeared and put my drink down in front of me.

  “Thank you. I owe you,” I said, starting to chug it. Mark hooted. “You go girl.” I jumped up and headed to the dance floor. Ava was quickly behind me. We danced with everybody around us. Millicent was right about it getting warm in here quickly. I was so happy just bouncing around the floor with everybody else. I was so grateful Ava lent me her boots. When the first band started we quickly moved away from the crazy mosh pit forming in front of the stage. I loved watching the boys bounce into each other. I have never seen such an energetic crowd before. The uniform of the club included spiked black belts, jeans full of rips and tee shirts begging to be ripped off. The hair was a mix of Mohawks, shaved heads and so many numerous colors. I couldn’t help but wonder if Hayden would actually show up here.

  I met some of Ava and Marks friends. Everyone was very friendly and in good spirits. I accepted all their offers for drinks. My head was starting to spin and Johnny, one of Marks friends, I think, put his hand around my waist and walked me over to an empty table.

  “I think you need a rest,” he said smiling. Millicent and Joshua sat down at the table with us. I smiled at them and they shook their heads, warning me I think not to talk to them or him. Why didn’t they speak?

  “Right,” I said nodding. Johnny looked at me.

  “I’m sorry, did I miss something?” he asked.

  “No, I’m sorry
, I’m fine,” I said looking back to the dance floor. I couldn’t see Ava or Mark. I was beginning to feel a little nervous. Johnny was starting to make me nervous. His whole head was covered in spikes. I had never seen so many. How could he possibly lie down with hair like that?

  “I like your hair,” I said, touching one of his spikes. It was so unbelievably stiff. “Wow!” I said. His smile was odd as he moved closer to me.

  “You like that do you?” he said grinning. Oops, I shouldn’t have said anything. I think he took that as an invitation. Ava where are you?

  “So where are you staying tonight?” he asked, really starting to creep me out now. Millicent and Joshua disappeared. I looked around frantically for Ava and Mark. How could they leave me like this? He put his hand on mine and was looking at me with a strange look on his face, like he was thinking of what he might like to do to me. I was starting to panic when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

  “You can excuse us now. I’m taking her home,” he said as he reached under my arms to help me up. The man with the spikes was about to protest, but Ava and Mark finally appeared beside me. He quickly got up and jumped out into the mosh pit. As I stood, I slowly turned around to see Hayden standing there. I was completely drunk but seeing him seemed to sober me up a lot. I tried to stop the tears from coming, knowing my mascara would start to run and I would look a mess. He saw the tears in my eyes. He smiled at me and reached a hand around my waist pulling me closer to him. I eagerly wrapped my hands around his neck. He kissed my forehead. He nodded at Ava and Mark. Smiled at Millicent and Joshua and then led me out of the club. I turned to wave goodbye to my new friends. Ava whispered the words, `I’ll see you soon.’ I nodded. Millicent smirked, like she knew all along that I would be thrilled to see Hayden again.

  12. DIAMONDS

  As he unlocked the passenger door and helped me in, I noticed he was grinning. Once he was seated in the driver’s seat, he helped me with my seat belt then he just stopped moving and stared at me. I already had mascara running from my eyes. I must have looked hideous, I thought, feeling self-conscious.