Indwell (Chasing Natalie's Ghosts)

by Nicole Smith

  “I’m sorry Natalie. I thought you knew all about Adam,” she looked at Clive, than back to me.

  “I do know all about Adam and he was brilliant. I have no idea why you felt the need to ‘target’ him.”

  “He had broken a number of rules before he met you, but after meeting you he began to break rules we hadn’t even thought possible. We had no idea a phantom could interact with a living person the way he interacted with you. Considering the outcome, I would think you should agree that a phantom has no right to fall in love with a living girl. It can’t possibly end well, ever. The living life would be too altered. It changes their destiny too much. Can’t you see what I mean? Think about it as a person looking in on a relationship like that. Can’t you see the reasons for rules?” I was too angry to try and think rationally. I threw my napkin down on the table and rushed out of the room. I could hear them talking, apologizing to Hayden as he excused us. He was behind me before I reached the stairs. He swung me around and held me tightly in his arms. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead.

  “I’m so sorry Natalie.”

  “No, don’t, I’m sorry I didn’t handle it better. I was just surprised by how much she knew. I feel like I’ve been under a microscope!”

  “Let’s go for a walk.” He led me out the door. I followed him, feeling numb now. I realized then, that they all knew how close Adam and I had been. She made me feel like a freak show. Like the idea of us together was such an abomination. I understood the point she was trying to make. She was probably right. I would hate to think of some poor young girl in love with a phantom that no one else could see. Her family and friends would assume she was crazy and probably lock her up. I knew it could destroy lives. I had been in such a dark place when Adam entered my life, that the reverse was true, he saved my life.

  Hayden glanced at me but allowed me to collect my thoughts. I slipped my hand into his. He held me tight. He whirled me around to look at him.

  “I love you so much. Please don’t ever question my devotion to you. I wouldn’t tell them about you because I didn’t want to betray you. I should have protected you better, I am sorry. I told you I couldn’t take Adam away from you. I hope you understand it was because I loved you. I knew that I was turning my back on my orders. I knew they would be upset with me but eventually they forgave me when I told them I was going to take care of you when Adam left. I really didn’t think they were holding a grudge. I’m sorry I brought you here now. We can leave tomorrow morning. I would completely understand,” he explained as he looked into my eyes, like he was drowning.

  “Oh, Hayden, I’m not upset with you. I need you so much. I can get through this. There is a lot I need to learn from them. I can get through their interrogations. As odd as it may sound, I will indulge them. Once I get what I need then we’ll go. I’ll be able to work with you. That’s all I want, is for you to need me as much as I need you.” His eyes seemed to clear of the anxiety he was bearing. He smiled at me.

  “You continue to amaze me. Yes, we will get what we need from them and Natalie I do need you, my love, more than you think.” He kissed me so intensely. I was melting into him. He led me down the trail. The moon was shining so bright along the path. It was absolutely beautiful. The forest was alive with movement and sounds I have never heard before.

  “Natalie, please let me talk with you?” Clive asked as he greeted us as soon as we returned.

  “Hi Clive,” I answered feeling so much stronger now. `Fine’, I thought to myself. I’ll answer your stupid questions. You will in return give me the light. I would have to win over Clive to get it. I had to swallow my pride and get through this trip.

  “I would love to chat with you Clive. Hayden, can I meet you in a bit?” I asked smiling at him. He seemed surprised and a little reluctant.

  “Natalie I will just be in the main hall if you need me, please don’t be long,” he said as he kissed me quickly. He glared at Clive as he walked away.

  “I want to apologize for Elizabeth’s behavior. She is far too interested in your love life and I tried to tell her to go slow, but she holds no punches. I hope you can forgive her?” He was anxious. I smiled at him, with a twinkle in my eye. I needed to charm Clive. I had to have him on my side. He would be easier to win over than Elizabeth. If I could just get Clive to feel obliged to protect me.

  “Clive, I forgive her. Can you forgive me for walking out?” I asked holding out my hand. He took it and didn’t let go. I didn’t pull away.

  “Of course I can forgive you Natalie. That is not even necessary for you to ask,” he replied, surprised.

  “I was wondering where your from if you don’t mind my asking?”

  “I’m from Ireland, Dublin actually.”

  “How did you get involved in this?” I inquired carefully.

  “In what exactly?” he asked. I knew he understood my question but he was stalling. I grinned at him.

  “You know what I mean, with this phantom hunting and expelling of light stuff. Please tell me your story?” I pressed on, smiling again. I placed my hand through his arm and we walked down toward the beach. He patted my hand as he walked with me.

  “Well I was born in 1812 in Dublin, Ireland. I was twenty five when I was first introduced to a Seeker. Since I was a little boy I have been able to see phantoms, good or bad, anywhere and everywhere I went. I could talk to them and hear them respond to me. I could feel them as well, their hair and skin. Sometimes I could hold their hands, but it never felt real like it does for you. I would feel tingles go up and down my arms, it was surreal. I have to admit, only to you, that I did repeatedly fall in love many times myself. Many of my good friends when I was growing up were phantoms. I am sorry to ask but I am interested as well. Natalie, just how deeply can you feel them when they touch you? Do they really feel like I do now? Are they solid, firm, warm or cold?” He glanced at my hand still holding his arm. He looked so fascinated that it was hard to be upset with his questioning. I knew he was genuinely interested. He stared into my eyes.

  “They feel alive to me Clive, warm and firm,” I told him as I squeezed his hand, nodding. I decided to be honest with him. Maybe he really can help me understand all of this.

  “I have seen phantoms since I was a small child too, probably since before I could speak. I have made friends with them. I had always felt safe with them, more secure than I did with the actual living. Adam was different of course. He saved my life. If it wasn’t for him walking out of the forest and across that river I wouldn’t be alive talking to you today. I wanted to end my life and I thought the frigid river was a good way to try and do it. I wasn’t afraid of death, I wished for it. Adam caught me before I fell into the freezing cold water. He held me till I felt better and then he brought me home. He checked in on me. He began to need me as much as I needed him. To me he was my savior. He was my angel and as long as I could see him then I would continue to live. I believed that once he was gone, then my time here would be over. I believed this to be true and Adam accepted it. He came to see me every day. Of course we fell in love. As you know most spirits are beautiful but Adam was more than that, he was beautiful on the inside as well. All he had wanted was to rejoin with his family. He felt alone and trapped. I was his support as much as he was mine. We depended on each other. Only he was dead. When I finally acknowledged what I knew to be true from our first meeting, it didn’t change anything between us. My favorite people have always been dead. I know you have been informed about Cheveyo and Anton too,” I sighed, remembering that I had been followed.

  “I have heard bits and pieces, yes Natalie, I am so sorry for not understanding how innocent and yet how vital your relationship with Adam was. We were still under the assumption that Adam had turned to the others and was following the wrong path. Natalie, he was angry and quite vile before you met him. I really don’t want to tell you now, what he had done before he took exile in the woods.” He sighed as he looked down the path. I didn’t want to know. To me Adam was my angel. H
e could do no wrong. I knew I wouldn’t believe anything he said to the contrary. I was glad he didn’t go any further.

  “Are you interested in watching the extraction of the light Natalie?” he asked.

  “Yes I am. I would very much like to know how all this works. I still don’t completely understand how you capture them or how you transport them. I’m very interested to know how they are not hurt by this and how they find their way home peacefully. I would love to learn more Clive, thank you.” He seemed surprised by my eagerness but pleased.

  “I would love to escort you tomorrow night then. I will meet you in the main hall at nine. I’m sure Hayden will not let you go alone so he can join us as well. Elizabeth will be meeting us there too, I’m afraid. I hope you will seriously consider joining our team. You will be an asset Natalie,” he said as he smiled at me. We turned to walk back to the Inn. He was quiet on our way back. He seemed lost in thought.

  “Can I ask you a personal question?” he looked almost ashamed as he asked this. I knew it would be about Adam again.

  “Sure, I think.” Clive stopped walking and stood in front of me.

  “The intimacy you and Adam shared, was it the same? Is it the same as being with a living person?” he asked as he looked down at his shoes. He seemed so incredibly innocent at this moment. I wished Hayden could see how much of a pussycat he really was. I smiled and looked him in the eye as he raised his head. I wrapped my hands around his neck and was as close to his face as I could get without touching him.

  “I have never felt so alive. I felt him all through my body. I can’t say it was the same as a living person. It was different. How could it possibly be the same Clive? You said it yourself, that the tingles went throughout your body, the energy, it feels surreal, overwhelming even,” I whispered to him. I kissed him on the cheek than turned and walked ahead of him. I believe I shocked him. He was speechless. When he finally collected himself and reached my side again he held my hand.

  “I knew you were special,” he said sweetly. I smiled. He was on my side now. I just hoped Hayden would understand.

  The next evening would change my life forever. I will be giving my life over to the Seekers. I would live my life capturing poltergeists. Clive was to become my greatest ally, next to Hayden of course. He promised me I would be taught everything I needed to know. He would not be afraid of hurting me or pushing me too far. He understood that my gifts were greater than his. He believed that the spirits, who were close to me, my friends, would defend me to the end of my days. I belonged more to them than I did to this realm sometimes. Clive understood this more than Hayden did.

  I had caught Elizabeth a few times the next day glaring at Clive and me. She did not like Clive’s interest in me. She didn’t like this new devotion he had for me. I never left his side the next day. Clive was teaching me the history and the theories behind their journey. Hayden went hiking with Edmund. I knew he was giving me space to learn about this new life. No one can really change their whole existence on their own. In my eyes Clive was my teacher now. He wanted to teach me everything he could. He wanted to watch and see what my gift would produce. I wasn’t about to stop spending time with Clive here at the Firelight Inn.

  After lunch that day, Clive brought me into his study. “Get comfortable Natalie,” he ordered as he gestured for me to enter the room. I sat on one of the large reading chairs and put my feet up on an ottoman. I was all ears waiting for him to continue. He sat in a chair opposite me. He smiled and leaned back.

  “I plan on giving you a lesson in what and why we do what we do. I hope after this you can feel more confident in the path you have chosen.”

  “Thank you Clive. I appreciate your time with me, I really do,” I told him as I sat back smiling. Clive wasted no time as he handed me some old photos of the Inn and the underground construction of the portal for the globules.

  “I’m just going to dive right in if that’s okay? If you have any questions feel free to interrupt me,” he told me. I nodded, giving him my full attention.

  “When a person dies the physical body releases the soul. A choice is made, either to travel on to the afterlife immediately or unfortunately, sometimes the soul refuses, which results in the soul being earth bound for an unknown amount of time. Why this happens and to whom is still a mystery to us. I have no answers to this. There is a third choice, and this is where we play our part,” he paused and took a sip of water.

  “Sometimes when a person dies, a part of their soul carries on to their final resting place and the other part gets trapped in a realm in-between. Not only is part of their hidden soul still here but so is their energy, their Light. As I am sure you know by now, from what Hayden has shown you, that this energy is strong. The spirit is capable of acting in uncontrolled ways. It does things, that while they were living they would never have even considered doing. That is what you must realize, that only a part of them is still here and this part turns into a new creation, an abomination really that shouldn’t be here. Its only purpose is to cause chaos and misfortune to the living around them, all for their own amusement. They are full of confusion and are unable to grasp the reality of their situation. In life a character like that would be institutionalized. In this realm, obviously, that is not possible. We have to control these spirits. When they take it too far, and they usually always do, they are added to our list and a Seeker is sent to capture them and bring them here.

  You should also be aware that when these spirits join with others of the same disposition they become stronger. They start to think with the same brain. They do not need words to communicate their plans. The young ones don’t understand this immediately. It takes years in this realm for them to fully grasp their strengths. The older ones are truly the most frightening and the ones you have to be cautious with. So when they become too aggressive, as I said, that is when the Seekers are informed and sent to capture them. They are brought here, to the Inn, in a specially crafted GTV. It has been made to transport a ghost in globule form, which is why the Seeker has to be strong enough to attack the spirit and bring it down into this form. You are aware of the Kris, I believe. It is the only weapon we know of that, when properly stabbed into these spirits, it can reduce them to the circle of light. It is this circle of light that can be seen by some human eyes. That is where the sightings and stories come from. The Light is more in our world now than the other realm, which is why we can manipulate it.

  The GTV itself is nothing fancy on the outside, but the inside is quite beautiful actually. It is covered in cushioned red satin and smells like jasmine, juniper berries and lavender. Apparently it calms the globule, I don’t know how it was figured out that they can still smell. The lid of the GTV is soaked in valerian root, creating a barrier, the light form is unable to go through or open the lid. Just a hint of this root leaves the globule useless. Once delivered the GTV is lowered hundreds of feet below ground. The globule is released into the sealed portal. The light wants to escape, frantically circling for an exit. We are not heartless. We do not prolong the dissolving of the light, which is why we are prepared tonight to end the spirits anguish that you and Hayden brought us.” He reached forward and grabbed my hands.

  “I know this is a lot of information. If you have any questions I will always be happy to talk with you. Please don’t hesitate, call me anytime when you get out there Natalie.”

  17. LIGHTS

  I held Clive’s hand as we walked down the stairs into the underground room that held the spirit. It had just been raised up from its holding cell, far below us. I couldn’t even imagine how they created this. The spirit seemed to be moving slowly, I think despair was setting in, I could feel it. I felt so drawn to this poor spirit. I walked over and placed my hand on the cell walls. I knew he was aware of me. He stopped moving and froze as he tried to focus on me. I was trying to soothe the spirit in my mind. I thought that if I could feel his emotions than maybe he could feel mine.

  Clive walked over to me and told me
it was time. I had to step back. I obeyed. All of a sudden there was a huge bright light in the cell with the globule. I could feel the relief the spirit began to feel. All the fear and confusion seemed to disappear. I could feel the tears that would have streamed out of his eyes. It happened so fast. The spirit changed quickly into its form before death and entered into the Light. The Light completely surrounded him then he was gone as quickly as the light appeared. I collapsed to the ground, tears streaming down my face. I had no idea I had actually been crying. Hayden quickly wrapped his arms around me and wiped the tears from my face.

  “I’m sorry, but I could feel everything he felt. He was relieved. He was in a complete state of bliss. I have never felt such an emotion before. It’s a little overwhelming,” I tried to explain. I looked up and saw everyone just staring at me like I was insane.

  “Can’t you feel it too?” I asked, looking around than back to Clive.

  “Not like you do, I fear. I hope this wasn’t too much for you?” he asked nervously.

  “No, it was amazing,” I beamed. They seemed amazed by my reactions but pleased with it. Hayden helped me to my feet. Clive nodded at Hayden as he grabbed my hand and led me to the cell that had once held the spirit. He opened a small chamber in the bottom of the cell and took out a white vial. It was a small sampling of the light that was left behind. Hayden passed it to Clive. It didn’t scare me as Clive carefully held the light in front of me. In a strange way, it felt like I had been through this before. I knew what was expected of me. I knew what Clive was going to do next. I was so happy that it was becoming hard for me to keep a straight face and not smile. Clive sensed this. He had trouble not smiling with me as he gave me the Light. I looked serious but my eyes were giving me away. As I swallowed the light Clive put his hands on my face and kissed me. I heard gasps from the crowd. From their reaction I guessed this was not customary behavior but it felt so right. I had placed my hands on his waist. He wouldn’t let me go. It seemed like minutes later when Elizabeth walked over and whispered to Clive.