Glitter Girls and the Great Fake Out

by Meg Cabot

  When Summer said the word “limitations,” she threw something at us. It turned out to be gold sparkles. It got all over us…our hair, our clothes…everywhere. Mrs. Hauser backed out of the way so it wouldn’t get on her and the fur trim of her coat.

  “There!” Summer yelled. “Now you’ve been Glitteratied!”

  This was awesome. I had always wanted to be Glitteratied.

  “Today, as long as you wear your Glitterati dust,” Summer went on, “all your dreams will come true. If you’ve always wanted to be an undercover rock star, at Glitterati we can help make you an undercover rock star. If you’ve always wanted to be an urban fairy, like me, we can make that dream come true, too. Glitterati is about expressing your individuality while promoting a unique shopping experience that makes every kid feel special!”

  Whoa. Maybe it was because I’d been Glitteratied, but I was ready to feel special. Also, unique.

  I could tell Summer was unique because she had some sparkly star stickers right next to her eyes.

  I wanted some sparkly star stickers next to my eyes, too. This, I felt sure, would make me be as special and unique as Summer.

  “So,” Summer yelled at us. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes,” we all yelled back. Even Mary Kay, who never yelled.

  “Then let’s go express our individuality!” Summer yelled.

  We all ran screaming into the costume racks, where Summer said we could decide on what looks we wanted to use to express our individuality.

  “I’m going to be an urban fairy, like Summer,” Paige yelled. She was pawing through the fairy costumes, looking for one exactly like Summer’s, which was tight jeans and a black sparkle halter top.

  “No,” Lauren said. “I’m going to be an urban fairy!”

  “You guys.” Mary Kay looked like she was about to burst into tears. “I’m going to be an urban fairy! We can’t all be urban fairies. You have to be something else.”

  I couldn’t believe it. They all wanted to be urban fairies.

  And it was probably just because Summer had been dressed like one.

  Which wasn’t really all that unique or individual, if you thought about it.

  It was true I’d wanted to get shooting star stickers next to my eyes like Summer. But I still wanted to dress as an actress slash veterinarian for my photo shoot.

  I shook my head in disgust over the other girls, then went to the rack marked SUPERSTAR. There were lots of fake leather jackets and tight short skirts. Also, knee-high zip-up high-heeled boots. In just about every color you could imagine.

  This was exactly what I would imagine an actress slash veterinarian would wear. You know, for doing her important acting and animal healing work. It was amazing, but the Glitterati dust was already working! It was helping me to envision my future career. Well, what I was going to wear while I was doing it, anyway.

  “None of you can be urban fairies,” Brittany yelled. “Because I’m going to be an urban fairy. And it’s my birthday. I’ll figure out something else for you to be.”

  Paige and Lauren looked super disappointed. Mary Kay started to cry. Courtney, who hadn’t joined in with any of them, anyway, just rolled her eyes and shrugged.

  I guess Summer could see some of Brittany’s party guests were having trouble envisioning their futures and expressing their individuality (only not me. Because I had already picked out a purple zebra-striped fake leather jacket, a black mini sparkle skirt, red shirt, and black zip-up high-heeled boots), since she came up to us and went, “So, ladies. What have we decided?”

  “Well, I’m going to be an urban fairy,” Brittany said. “Since it’s my birthday.” Then she started pointing at each of us. “She,” she said, pointing at Paige, “is going to be an undercover rock star, and she,” pointing at Mary Kay, “is going to be a prep school princess. And she,” pointing at Lauren, “is going to be a teen superstar, and she,” pointing to Courtney, “is going to be a teen goth vampire, and she,” pointing at me, “is going to be a pirate.”

  “Sounds good,” Summer said. “Let’s get to the makeover booths for our transformations!”

  “Wait a minute.” I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. “A pirate? I’m not going to be a pirate.”

  “Sure you are,” Brittany said. “You love pirates. Everyone loves pirates.”

  “I do not love pirates,” I said. “My little brother Kevin loves pirates. But he’s six.”

  “You have to be a pirate,” Brittany said. “Everybody else has taken all the other costumes.”

  “No, they haven’t.” I showed her the clothes I was holding. “I want to be an actress slash veterinarian. No one else is dressing up as an actress slash veterinarian.”

  “Whoever heard of an actress slash veterinarian?” Brittany asked, bewildered.

  “Me,” I said. “I have. It’s what I want to be when I grow up. An actress who is also a veterinarian who saves the lives of baby animals.”

  “You can’t be an actress and a veterinarian,” Brittany said. “You can be one thing or the other, but you can’t be both.”

  “Yes, you can,” I said. “I’ve been Glitteratied. I can be anything I want to be. Summer said so.”

  “I think since this Glitterati Girl already has her look pulled together,” Summer said, pointing to all the clothes in my arms, “we might as well let her head to the makeover booths for her transformation. Maybe another one of your friends wants to be a pirate, Brittany.”

  Brittany shook her head, staring at me. I didn’t know when I’d done it, but I could tell by the look on her face that I’d somehow wandered over to Brittany’s bad side.

  See, this was exactly why I had the book of rules. Because you could never tell when you were going to do something to make a girl mad at you…without even meaning to! All I’d done was say I didn’t want to be a pirate.

  And now the birthday girl was mad at me.

  “No,” Brittany said, narrowing her eyes at me. “Allie wants to be a pirate. Don’t you, Allie?”

  I absolutely did not want to be a pirate. I did not want to dress like one or have my photo taken as one. I never, ever, not once in my life had expressed a single desire to be or look like a pirate. This was not the vision I had for my future. I wanted to be an actress slash veterinarian. I had my costume all ready to go.

  But I could tell by the look on Brittany’s face that if I didn’t do what she said, I was going to be in big trouble. Just like the time when Brittany had put Lady Serena Archibald in the suitcase.

  And like that time, I didn’t want to back down. I didn’t want to give up on my dream of being an actress slash veterinarian.

  But this wasn’t like someone putting a live animal into a suitcase. This was just a girl who wanted me to dress a certain way and get my picture taken. Also, it was her birthday. Not mine.

  You can’t do something to make the birthday girl unhappy on purpose on her birthday.

  That was a rule.

  And one I’d learned the hard way, way back on Mary Kay’s birthday. It was one of the reasons why Mary Kay and I weren’t best friends anymore.

  I had ended up realizing Mary Kay hadn’t been the world’s best friend, anyway.

  But I didn’t want to ruin Brittany’s birthday the way I had Mary Kay’s, either. This wasn’t a good way to make — or keep — friends.

  And the truth was, what did it matter? It was one day.

  And just because I dressed like a pirate while wearing Glitterati dust didn’t mean I was going to magically transform into a pirate when I grew up.

  That’s a rule.

  “Fine,” I said, and handed my pile of stuff to Lauren. She was the one who was getting to be a teen superstar, after all. “I’ll be a pirate.”

  And that’s exactly what I ended up being. I couldn’t believe it. I let Summer pick out a girl pirate outfit for me — stupid baggy boots, black velvet pants, white blouse, red sash, sword, vest, basically what my brother Kevin had insisted on wearing to scho
ol every day for months — then headed over to the makeover booths for my transformation, where a guy about Uncle Jay’s age, only his name was Randy, ran a straight iron through my hair and put some eyeliner on me that he said was the same kind Keira Knightley wore in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

  But when I finally saw my reflection in the big dressing room mirror, I didn’t look very different from when I’d sat down a few minutes before.

  So I asked Randy if I could please have some sparkle stickers on my face like Summer’s.

  He said yes, and put one on the corner of my right eye.

  Only since I was dressed like a pirate, not a fairy, mine was a single diamond teardrop…

  …to represent my deep well of sorrow for my victims, Randy said.

  So that, at least, was okay.

  Then it was time to see how everyone else’s transformations had turned out.

  I came out of my makeover booth waving my sword, feeling a little better about not getting to be an actress slash veterinarian. Because I actually looked like a pretty cool pirate lady.

  But when they saw me, Brittany, Lauren, Paige, and Mary Kay started laughing.

  “Oh, no,” Brittany said. “Allie, you look so stupid.”

  “Why?” I looked down at myself. “I’m a pirate. This is how you told me to dress.”

  “I know,” Brittany said, still laughing. “But I didn’t know it would be so dumb.”

  “Brittany!” Mrs. Hauser was there, taking pictures of all of us. “Allie, you look adorable. You don’t look dumb at all.”

  But actually, compared to the other girls, I did look dumb. They seemed super grown-up and sophisticated in their outfits as superstars, rock stars, prep school princesses, goth vampires, and urban fairies. I was the only one who looked like a kid wearing a Halloween costume. Even with my diamond teardrop of sorrow.

  “I told you,” I said, fingering my red sash. “Pirates are for six-year-olds.”

  “I thought you’d be a cool pirate,” Brittany said. “Like Keira Knightley. But I guess not. Oh, well.”

  That’s all. Just Oh, well. Like it didn’t matter that she’d destroyed my unique shopping experience at Glitterati. Which I guess I wasn’t really having, anyway, since I didn’t have any money so I couldn’t really buy anything. But still. What about my chance to exercise my imagination and creativity and live my dream of envisioning my future and all of that? Unlike my little brother, I had never envisioned my future as a pirate, for Pete’s sake.

  “You all look amazing!” the photographer, Dusty, cried. Dusty had an earring in one ear, like Randy, and long hair. He also wore a lot of necklaces. “Come on, let’s work the runway now, shall we? Shall we? Who’s going first? Birthday girl?”

  “No,” Brittany said. “Paige. You go.”

  Paige swept back some of her flat-ironed, rock-star hair. “Cool,” she said, and climbed up onto the runway. As the music thumped overhead, she walked down the red carpet, while Dusty said, “Great! Fantastic! You’re a rock star! You’re amazing!”

  “Thank you,” Paige said, politely, when she reached the end of the stage. Then she jumped down.

  If you asked me, the whole thing was quite a letdown. I mean, Paige didn’t really work the runway like the models on those shows Harmony likes to watch when she comes over and my mom and dad aren’t home. I mean, she just walked down the runway. She didn’t sashay, or work it, girl, or try to be fierce, or smile with her eyes.

  As soon as Paige left the runway, Brittany interrogated her, which means asked her a lot of questions.

  “How was it?” Brittany asked her, about the runway.

  “Nice,” Paige said with a shrug.

  “Not weird?” Brittany asked her. The runway was at the center of the store, so everyone could see you when you came down it. I guess that’s what Brittany meant. She was worried about people looking at her.

  “No,” Paige said. “I mean, it’s kind of scary. But I just tried to go down it as fast as I could.”

  “Good,” Brittany said. “Lauren, you go next.”

  So Lauren did. Basically, the same thing happened to her. Summer and Mrs. Hauser and the rest of us sat in the audience, cheering for her, while Dusty took pictures. But, like Paige, Lauren didn’t do anything interesting on the runway. She basically ran down it, pausing only to let Dusty take her picture.

  The same thing happened with Mary Kay, Courtney, and Brittany. Finally, it was my turn.

  When it was my turn on the runway, I decided I was going to do something different from the other girls. I tried to envision my future — what it was going to be like when I was a world-famous actress slash veterinarian, and I’d be walking down red carpets, getting my picture taken all the time. I was going to have to get used to it, because this was what my life was going to be like…riding in limos, strolling down runways, having the paparazzi snap my photo all over the place, with huge crowds begging for my autograph. My life wouldn’t really be my own anymore. Everyone was going to want a piece of me, because I’d be so famous for being in so many movies and saving so many people’s pets.

  As I came down the runway — to the song “I’m Gonna Knock You Out,” which I thought was kind of ironic, because that was the same song Missy was doing her routine to, and I couldn’t help wondering how her performance was going, and how much better a time Erica, Caroline, and Sophie were having than I was (I bet they were having a way better time than I was) — I tried to do what I thought was a really good runway walk, the kind I saw the models doing on TV. I also tried to make sure to smile at everyone in the store as I went past them. Missy, I knew, would be smiling at all the judges as she did her twirling. None of the other girls at Brittany’s party had smiled as they’d runwalked down the runway.

  But Missy had told us that making good eye contact with your audience, especially the judges, is way important if you want to score perfect tens.

  And even though no one at Glitterati was judging me, I still wanted perfect tens. I mean, why not try your hardest, all the time, even if you’re just in some dumb store at a birthday party instead of at the Little Miss Majorette Baton Twirling Twirltacular, middle school division?

  It’s all good practice for later, when it really counts, right? That’s a rule.

  As I went down the runway at Glitterati, I pretended that all the other customers in the store were autograph seekers who loved my latest film — or pet owners whose dogs I’d saved. I really turned on the charm. I wasn’t dressed the way I wanted to be — Brittany had seen to that.

  But that didn’t mean I couldn’t use my imagination and creativity, the way Summer had suggested — to make the best of the situation. That was what acting was all about, right?

  When I got to the end of the runway — where Dusty was going, “You’re amazing, Allie! That’s fantastic! You’re really bringing it, darlin’!” — and I was sure I had the attention of everyone in the store, I got an idea. It was kind of silly, but I thought, Why not? You’re only in Glitterati once.

  So just as the music went, “I’m…gonna knock you out!” I pulled my pirate sword from my red sash, bared my teeth, and lunged at Dusty with the tip of my sword, yelling, “Aaaaargh!” the way a lady pirate would, right on time with the word “out.”

  I stopped only when the tip of my blade was just a couple of inches from his camera lens. This was also when Missy finished her routine, standing with her baton raised and her back arched.

  There was a moment of surprised silence following my doing this (except for the pulsing rock music from the store’s speakers, of course).

  Uh-oh, I thought. Had I gone too far? Mrs. Hauser and the girls in the audience looked completely shocked for a few seconds, like I had tried to bite Dusty, not given him a pirate Argh!

  Did they not know the first thing about pirates? I mean, everyone knows pirates say Argh! and try to stab people. It was a joke. Didn’t they get it? I’d been trying to be funny!

  Then, as I held the pose, feelin
g tiny beads of sweat breaking out beneath my hair as the lights from above the runway shined down on me, thinking, Dusty, take the picture. Take the picture already, Dusty, Dusty started to laugh.

  “Beautiful!” he cried. “Perfect! That’s the best shot of the day, Allie. That one will go up in our Hall of Fame, for sure.”

  And he snapped the picture.

  Around the store, a few of the customers started to applaud. Some of them just shook their heads, but others laughed. I straightened up and bowed, the way Mrs. Hunter had shown us.

  I’d done it! I’d made everyone in Glitterati laugh! Well, almost everyone.

  It felt great, as always.

  “Thanks,” I said. I was a bit sweaty beneath my newly straight-ironed hair. But I didn’t care. “No applause, please, just throw money. Kidding, I’m kidding.”

  I jumped off the runway and came over to the other girls. They were all smiling.

  Well, all except Brittany and Mary Kay.

  Oops.

  “Oh, Allie,” Mrs. Hauser cried, putting her arm around me. “That was hilarious! You’re such a performer! I think you’re going to follow in your mother’s footsteps and have your own TV show.”

  “Thanks,” I said, still panting a little. It was hot in that pirate costume. “I guess I am.”

  “You were so funny,” Lauren said, punching me in the arm. But not hard. “Argh!”

  “Argh!” Paige said, laughing. “Like Jack Sparrow!”

  “That was really good,” Courtney said, still fiddling with the necklace she wore beneath her plastic goth vampire outfit. “All those people were looking, and you didn’t even seem to care or be embarrassed.”

  Brittany and Mary Kay both looked as if they cared that everyone in the store had been looking. They looked as if they cared a lot.

  But that wasn’t my fault! Brittany was the one who’d made me wear the pirate outfit in the first place. If she hadn’t wanted me to act like a pirate, she shouldn’t have picked this costume for me. I was just following Summer’s instructions, making my Glitterati experience be all it could be.