by SE Jakes
He continued holding the man’s hand as he told Tomcat and Styx, “We’re not leaving until he does.”
No one argued with him.
He fucking hated hospitals. But this time, Styx hadn’t remained behind the curtain, was with the two men the way he’d wanted to be three months earlier, before he’d put them all in danger.
He forced himself to stare at Paulo’s face and body. Your fault. And he had the strangest feeling this wasn’t the first time someone he loved had been harmed by his father.
Someone he loved…
He hadn’t ever thought about anyone but Law in those terms and now having those feelings about Paulo was natural.
But neither of the men here should love him—hell, they shouldn’t be involved with him at all. And with that thought, he moved away from the bed and went to leave the room.
Law stopped him, though.
“He’ll be all right,” Law told him… Law was comforting him this time, kissing his neck, his cheek, running his hands along Styx’s arms. “Come on, baby. You and I know he’s stronger than that.”
All Styx could do was press his face to Law’s shoulder. He hadn’t cried about any of this—not really—and now he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop. Here at Paulo’s bedside, realizing that his father nearly took away someone else from him—and wasn’t planning on stopping—his resolve strengthened. “I think you should take Paulo back to the cabin—”
“No,” Law said firmly. “We’re together in this. This one…” he motioned to Paulo, “…isn’t coming out with us when we go after the bastard.”
He let the we part go and agreed that Paulo was sitting the next round out.
Judging by the x-rays, his ribs were merely bruised, not broken, but Styx knew they’d still hurt like hell.
While Paulo slept, he catalogued those bruises, committing them to memory so they’d know exactly how to make those men pay.
“They wanted to put him through hell,” Law had whispered, and even though he’d seen far worse in his time, he still looked shattered. “I’m helping you finish this. I’m as much a part of it as you.”
Styx couldn’t deny that—or Law—any longer. Paulo had gone so far out on a limb, now it was their turn to finish it.
First, they would heal Paulo. And then maybe Styx could finally find a way to heal himself.
Chapter Fourteen
They stayed in the hospital room with Paulo, not leaving his side for four days. Tomcat himself guarded the door along with two other agents but he’d given Styx and Law a wide berth.
Finally, on the day they were taking Paulo back to the cabin, Tomcat came into the room and Styx left Law sitting by Paulo so he could set things right with Tomcat.
He’d forgiven his partner for the most part—Tomcat had stood by him when most men wouldn’t have. After all, he’d been saddled with Styx when he was young and pissed at the world—and had a target on his back.
Styx found out later that Tomcat had requested to be partnered with him.
“I knew you were loyal,” he’d explain later, and yes, that was one quality Styx had in spades.
Tomcat was thirty-six a tall-assed motherfucker with a penchant for men and women—sometimes at the same time—and Styx loved the hell out of him.
“You all kiss and make up?” Tomcat asked.
“Literally, yes.”
Tomcat smiled. “Well hell, Styx, I didn’t think you were that kinky.”
“Me neither.”
“What about me? You still pissed?”
“Yes.”
Tomcat took a slug of his coffee. “Paulo’s got a future with the agency. They don’t give a fuck that his old man’s a bigoted asshole.”
“I think that’s a requirement.”
That made Tomcat snort quietly—Styx knew he’d had a shitty childhood as well. Everyone in the agency who worked ops seemed to—some kind of issue with gaining control and never wanting to let it go. “True, that.”
Tomcat hailed from Louisiana—had some Cajun blood and some blue blood, and he still spoke with that low sweet drawl. “Am I losing a partner?” he asked now as Styx glanced back at Paulo and Law.
“Ah Christ, I’m not making any decisions until this is over.”
“It will be. And then you’ve got some nice ass to go home to.” Tomcat took another swig of coffee. His dark hair was tied back at the neck, kept long because of the op, but he wore more of a rocker goatee than a long scraggily beard. Dressed in all black—and with the jacket that bore the rocker of the motorcycle gang thrown into the backseat of his truck, he could easily pass for a rock star.
“What about you? I’m sure you’re getting plenty of ass.”
Tomcat smiled a little, but it wasn’t the wide-open smirk Styx had been expecting. “Holy fuck, don’t tell me you fell for someone in the middle of an op.”
“Yeah, because that would be wrong, and you’re leading by example.”
“Who is she? Or he?”
Tomcat gave him a sideways look. “He’s young.”
“Good luck with that. Try not to get arrested.”
“Not that young. He’s Special Forces. Twenty-five. It’s too crazy to even think about.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because he made me within an hour after sleeping with me. Nearly a year and a half—before this, how many missions and no one’s ever made me.”
“You think he’d tell anyone?”
“No way. He gets it.” Tomcat shook his head and then added, “He gets it a little too well.”
“What did he say?”
“He whispered, ‘I’d say FBI but I’ll bet you’d be insulted.’ And then he sucked my dick and I didn’t care.”
Styx shook his head and wondered what the hell was in the water these days.
He was high on pain meds and everything still goddamned hurt. And although he wasn’t sure where the hell he was, he was pretty sure he was alone.
Fuck.
“Paulo.”
Law’s voice. Law, on the bed with him. “I’m here.”
“Good for you,” he managed.
“Someone needs more happy pills.”
That was Styx. The men were lying on either side of him, making him the meat in this particular sandwich. He didn’t hear Tomcat and he wondered what Law and Styx knew about what had happened to him.
Then the pain made him not care all that much. He must’ve winced or groaned because Law was urging him, “Come on, take your pill.”
Paulo shook his head, and that’s when Law sucked his cock and Paulo’s jaw dropped and Styx put the pill in.
“Drink—don’t spit it out,” Styx admonished as Law sucked harder. Paulo did what he asked because he did not want that one sensation of pleasure to end.
He came fairly quickly, and while the orgasm was muted, it still made him able to drift back to sleep, but not before he heard Styx say, “Wait till the sponge bath.”
When he woke again, he was in the same place on the bed, the men were still with him, watching TV, and it was dark in the room. His head was still murky, but better than it had been earlier.
“Hey.” Law stroked his hair and Styx straightened the blankets.
“Where am I?”
“The cabin. You were in the hospital for four days but we didn’t want to risk more time so exposed like that,” Law explained.
“You guys came to the hospital?”
“We were both there,” Law said. “Nothing could’ve kept us away.”
Paulo closed his eyes as his head began to throb, and he felt like he was drifting off again. He didn’t want that, needed to be on alert. “You’re in more danger with me here, now.”
“Even if that’s true, we’re in this together,” Styx said. “Now, come on. Time for your pills.”
“Don’t want more of that fuzzy-headed shit,” he mumbled, tried to push Styx away. But suddenly, Law’s hand was on his cock again and he moaned, the protests washing away.
Fuck, he
was a sucker on pain pills. And horny, too. “What the hell are in those things?”
Law stroked faster. “Whatever it is, you think you’d want more, not less.”
“Yeah.”
“Take the pills,” Styx said, and Paulo opened his mouth and complied, taking some water, then he lay back and let Law continue his long, slow strokes while Styx sucked his nipple into his mouth.
“Shit.” He knew he needed to stay still in order to minimize the pain and maximize the pleasure.
“You’ll feel good soon…then you’ll sleep,” Law told him, and he practically purred under the men’s touches.
He’d only been away for days, but it felt like a lifetime. And so he let them take him, coming more quickly than he wanted to and basking in the warmth of that.
When he woke again, it was still dark and the room was nearly so, save for the dimmed light on the night table. If not for that, he wouldn’t have been able to see Law sleeping on the pillow next to him. Paulo reached out to run fingers through his hair, and he opened his eyes.
“Sorry. I’m sorry.” It was all Paulo could think to say.
“Me too.” Law propped on his elbow, traced a finger along Paulo’s cheek. “You were out like a light.”
“How long?”
“At least fourteen hours.”
“Hate those pills.”
“Yeah, well, you’re pretty banged up.” He paused. “Tomcat said to call him if you remember anything else.”
He remembered everything he needed to—it was the escape that wasn’t clear. But the intel—he held that close, because it could be the break they needed.
He didn’t want any of this to be for nothing.
He closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them again, Law was holding out a cup with a straw.
“Drink. Or I’ll put in an IV.”
“Bossy.” He drank the cup of ginger ale down and realized he was actually hungry. “Any food?”
“Yeah.” Law smiled, passed him his phone. “Styx is making dinner—you make your call.”
He guessed Law wanted to listen in, doubted he’d leave even if Paulo asked, so he didn’t.
“Dude, you got me in so much trouble with those two,” Tomcat started as soon as he answered. “Tell me it was worth it.”
“It was.” Paulo rattled off the names and dates he’d heard the men muttering to one another in some sort of code that he’d sifted through in his mind over and over during the hours he’d been tied until he’d realized they’d been talking bank account numbers and dates. “I think these will help.”
Law was staring at him, muttering, “How the hell did you get all that?” as Tomcat said, “Fucking brilliant,” and hung up the phone.
Paulo hung up on his end, handed it back to Law. “We’re close.”
“Don’t even think about it,” Law warned. “You’re sitting the next round out.”
“I didn’t come this far to back down,” Paulo ground out, but the fact that he could barely move, thanks to what happened to be bruised ribs, made the show less impressive than he’d hoped.
“We almost lost you,” Law told him. “Couldn’t live with ourselves if that happened.”
“Don’t pull the guilt card.”
“It’s way more than guilt,” Styx said from where he stood in the doorway. “Have you looked in a mirror lately?”
“There were four of them,” Paulo confirmed. “So all things considered, I don’t think I look too bad.”
Law smirked at that, and Styx just shook his head. “I’m going to kill Tomcat for this.”
“Why? We’re a step closer to finding out where your father lives. You wouldn’t let me do it by myself, and you and Law couldn’t do it without being found out. I have no regrets—not one.” Paulo spoke so fiercely, breathed in too hard and saw stars. Law held him carefully by the shoulders.
“Baby, we know why you did it, okay?”
“Don’t patronize me.” His teeth clenched and he was sweating from the exertion.
Styx put his lips on Paulo’s shoulder, kissed gently. “I’m sorry this spilled over into your life.”
Paulo rested his head against Styx’s shoulder. “We’re close to this being over—so close.”
“I know. And Tomcat and I are planning… But I’m not doing anything until you’re better,” Styx told him.
Paulo nodded and didn’t push anything further. “My family—”
“They’re okay,” Styx assured him. “They’re in a safe house for now until this is all figured out.”
“God, my father must hate that.”
“Pretty much,” Styx agreed. “But they’re happy you’re alive, Paulo. Your mom wants you to call her.”
Paulo snorted and even that hurt, so he shut up and lay there and tried to absorb what had happened over the past few days. Except the last bits were all…fuzzy. “In the building…at the end…”
Styx stared at him. “You don’t remember?”
“It’s still hazy, but I remember shots.”
“You got out of your bonds. You shot one guy and were taking on the other two when Tomcat came in to help and took out the fourth,” Styx said. “You were a goddamned hero. You put a hell of a dent in my father’s organization. He keeps things pretty close to the vest, doesn’t like to hire a lot of outside help. It’s taken him years to build up those men. He’s vulnerable now.”
“Good. So are you two going to treat me like I’m made of glass for much longer?”
“Yes,” Law and Styx told him together.
“You can’t put yourself out there like that—it could’ve easily ended badly. You set yourself up for this,” Styx said.
“I had a plan,” Paulo mumbled.
“What? Stopping fists with your body?” Styx was angry but concerned. Shook his head. “No more of this shit—I’m in charge of this op.”
Both men stared at him. “Well, I am.”
“Together. That’s the only way,” Law said firmly.
“Last time I looked, neither of you were CIA. They kind of frown on former military and cops trying to help.” Paulo watched Law stare Styx down. “Ah, come on, Law.”
“You promised me. And you don’t go back on those. The Styx I knew never did.”
Styx sighed, stared at the ceiling. “He still doesn’t.”
“Good.” Law looked back at Paulo. “Don’t worry about anything.”
“Yeah, okay,” he muttered. “Because that’s worked so well for all of us.”
When Paulo woke again, Styx was lying with him, reading a paperback biography of some rock star. Paulo had managed to turn so he was pressed against the man, but Styx didn’t appear to have minded.
Instead, he put down his book and let Paulo shift to get even more comfortable. Handed him the soda from the side of the bed. And another pain pill—a half—which he took reluctantly since everything was throbbing again and not in a good way.
“Can’t wait till I don’t have to take these anymore,” he muttered.
“Sleep’s good for you—means you’re healing,” Styx told him, brushed the hair from Paulo’s forehead gently.
“Don’t be angry with Tomcat. I made the decision to help him.”
“Yeah, I know.” Styx shook his head. “My father ruins everything he touches. I don’t want him anywhere near you or Law again.”
“I know you don’t think of him as a father…but even though you know his real name, you never use it. Why?” Paulo asked, and Styx smiled wryly.
“It’s like the devil—you should never say his name out loud unless you want him to appear.”
It was Paulo’s turn to smile a little. “I know what you mean.” It had been a long time since he’d mentioned his father’s name. McMannus was a common last name, so that wasn’t a big concern, but Big Pat, as he was nicknamed…well, Paulo rarely let himself think about the man.
The descriptions in the paper, at the trial, they’d been horrifying. “I couldn’t talk to him after that day in court
. The last words my father sneered to me were that I’d never escape his legacy—or the fact that I was queer.” Paulo had no issue with the queer thing, but to be a part of that man’s family… “He’s right—I can’t escape it. They think I’ve got that in me. Telling them I’m gay makes things worse in a whole different way.”
“You can’t spend your life making up for him. That’s not on your shoulders,” Styx said.
“I’d say ditto, but I’m betting you’ll tell me your situation is very different.”
Styx snorted at that but didn’t look happy.
Paulo continued anyway. “Why didn’t your father go after Damon?”
“He knew we weren’t lovers. I would’ve died if he’d hurt Damon, but he knew it wasn’t the same thing. By that point, Damon was out of the house a lot, too. He was working different clubs—more the BDSM crowd while Law and I were working Greg’s, which were your typical dance-and-fuck-in-the-back-room variety,” Styx explained. “He had pictures. Of me and Law together. Made it look so damned dirty.”
Paulo nodded, thought back to his own family’s reaction to his admission. “My family hasn’t talked to me since the day I came out. I think sometimes that what my father did to that prisoner…I feel like it was because of me. All the rage was supposed to be directed at me.”
He hadn’t realized his breath had come fast, and it had been the first time he’d ever admitted that. “There was so much hate in what he did. If he’d gotten his hands on me…”
“Don’t go there,” Styx said. Paulo hadn’t even realized he’d moved to him. “Paulo, man, you’re shaking like a leaf. Here.”
Styx wrapped the blanket around both of them and just held him close.
“Why would he do that? I was the same kid—the same one he took hunting,” Paulo heard himself saying, his voice thin, and he hadn’t known the wounds had been this deep.
“It’s nothing you did,” Styx soothed. “It’s his hang-up. You didn’t deserve that treatment.”
“I shouldn’t…compared to what you and Law went through—”
“Hey—don’t do that. I want you to let it out, baby. Get it all out and put it behind you.” Styx rubbed his back and cradled him and he let it go, his face buried against Styx’s chest. “I’m sorry your parents are so fucked up.”