by Sable, R. J.
Xander nodded.
Yep, man of many words this one. I sighed inwardly once more and tried to repress my dread of the weeks to come. The idea of facing them without Jason didn’t make things any better but I didn’t think that would last too long. I loved Jason whole-heartedly and I knew he felt the same. A stupid argument wasn’t going to keep us apart. The only question was, which of us would be the least stubborn and apologise first?
Chapter 10
Sunday 7th July 2013
I found Xander at the kitchen table nursing a cup of very strong smelling black coffee. It was only just six in the morning but I wasn’t all that surprised to find him up. I was used to finding Ian in the kitchen before everyone else. Maybe it was just a military thing.
I hadn’t slept at all. The unfamiliarity of my new bed, in combination with Jason leaving the night before, and Ian going away, had left sleep impossible. At least that meant I escaped the nightmares that I’d been plagued with since the kidnapping.
“Morning,” I greeted Xander, summoning the last remaining threads of my manners.
“Morning,” he grunted back without looking up from his coffee.
I scowled. I was making an effort. I didn’t like being made to do this but he’d at least been given a choice, or at least I assumed he had. I sighed and made a lame attempt at hiding it whilst I made myself a cup of tea. I knew Adam wouldn’t be up for a good few hours so I tried to keep the noise down. My head was still a jumble and I knew what I wanted to do but I wasn’t sure if I’d be allowed to. The thought made me scowl again. I shouldn’t need to ask permission.
Remembering my promise to Ian, I took a deep breath. “Um, I wanted to go for a run if… if that’s allowed,” I stammered awkwardly.
Xander didn’t move, he just continued staring into his coffee. He stayed still and silent for so long that I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me.
“Fine,” he said after an eternity, still not looking up at me. “Back here in ten minutes with your kit.” With that he put his empty mug in the sink and disappeared up to his temporary room.
I sighed and went to get changed into my gear. The twins had done a decent job of cheering me up the night before with their goofy senses of humour but now that they were gone I was a little down again. I needed the run to clear my head.
“No music,” Xander instructed as I came back down into the kitchen.
I bit back a complaint and pulled my headset out and dumped it onto the sideboard without grumbling – which was a challenge.
“How far do you run?” He asked.
I quickly looked him over. There was no way he was asking me because he wasn’t sure he could manage the distance.
I shrugged. “I just usually run ‘til I get bored and then turn back.”
Xander didn’t look impressed.
“Um, maybe 10K?” I offered, seeing his look of frustration.
“Fine,” he nodded briskly. “I pick the route, you set the pace.”
I frowned again. “Um, you know your way around?” I asked sceptically.
He nodded again and I decided that was the most information I was going to get. At least that would save me worrying about getting lost.
“Wait here,” he ordered once he opened the front door.
I frowned again and waited for him to check outside. It made me nervous to see him doing it. I guess it was because it was such an obvious reminder of the danger that could be out there. I shivered and pushed it out of my mind. I had never needed a run so badly.
Xander motioned me out and started jogging towards Hyde Park. We jogged in silence with him indicating for me to turn left or right every now and then. It pissed me off that he seemed to be irritated by my very existence and I found myself picking up the pace just to try and annoy him. I should have known better then to try and outrun a military guy. He kept pace and I was even more annoyed when I caught him smirking slightly. I slowed down so that I could talk comfortably.
“Why are you doing this?” I demanded.
He raised his eyebrow at me but didn’t answer.
“Seriously, why are you babysitting me?” I said, very aware I sounded kind of like a bitch.
“Owe your brother a favour,” he shrugged, his eyes back on the road in front of me.
Nope. I have no manners left. “You’re kind of an ass.” It just slipped out. Probably due to stress and lack of sleep, but I doubted that was a good excuse. I blushed furiously and looked down at my feet ready for him to tell me what an ungrateful brat I was.
Instead, he chuckled. He actually chuckled. I scowled at him but it didn’t last long because I was glad to see the first sign that he had a personality since I’d seen the smile in his eyes the night before.
I picked up the pace again so we wouldn’t have to talk and we made it back to the house in record time. I started stretching out by the front door like I usually did at home.
“Do that inside,” Xander demanded, all traces of the aforementioned personality gone.
I scowled and reluctantly went back into the house to finish stretching off. He had a point, it was probably a better idea to stretch behind closed doors, but he really could have been a bit nicer about it.
I sighed inwardly as I moved up towards my bedroom to shower. Maybe there was a reason he was being an asshole. He’d said he owed Ian a favour, that didn’t mean he had to be happy about doing it.
I took a deep breath before going back to the kitchen. I figured I could make muffins and Adam could have some once he got up. I also thought they might be a good peace offering to take over to Jason’s. I didn’t want us to stay mad at each other, not now we were finally back in Leeds and would have the chance to spend a bit of alone time together.
“Where you going?” Xander asked, following me down the stairs.
“Um, to make breakfast,” I mumbled, not bothering to turn back and look at him.
“You start every sentence with ‘um’?” He asked, his voice laden with sarcasm.
I blinked up at him, prepared to scowl at his rudeness, but he stared straight back so I blushed and started digging things out of the cupboard instead. The guy was obviously a nut job and I was going to ignore him as best I could.
I decided to make my trademark blueberry muffins because that was Jason’s favourite kind. I was still whisking away when I heard a knock at the front door. I moved to put the mixing bowl down and see who was there but Xander stiffened and motioned for me to stay put. I almost rolled my eyes at his bossiness but then remembered why he was here and shuddered instead.
I forced myself to keep mixing because I wasn’t going to start acting like a scared little girl. I was scared, how could I not be with Xander acting all macho bodyguard all the time? But I wasn’t going to let it change me.
“What the fuck?” A voice yelled out. A familiar, deep voice that had my core clenching and my skin tingling in anticipation of his touch even though we’d technically still not made up.
“I’m here to see Jamie, back the fuck up,” Jason continued.
I bounded into the hall to see Xander pinning Jason against the wall.
“Xander, what are you doing?” I screeched. “Let him go!”
“Know him?” Xander asked as calmly as if he was doing a crossword puzzle.
“He’s my boyfriend,” I scowled, really starting to dislike Xander.
He gave Jason a quick look up and down before releasing him with a satisfied smirk.
“There’s no way Ian didn’t tell you I had a boyfriend,” I accused, glaring at him as I pulled Jason into the kitchen, loving the feel of his hand in mine despite my irritation with Xander.
“May have mentioned it,” Xander shrugged, smirking again.
I resisted the urge to call him an ass this time. That stupid smirk told me he knew exactly who Jason was and was probably being a dick because Ian had told him to do just that.
“So I’m still your boyfriend?” Jason whispered cautiously.
I’d been so busy gl
aring at Xander that I hadn’t had chance to notice how worried Jason looked. I could tell he hadn’t slept well. At least I wasn’t alone in that boat.
“Of course,” I frowned in confusion. “Why wouldn’t you be?”
“Because I’m an ass,” he sighed. He looked relieved as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight into his chest.
I sighed happily and breathed in his scent, calming down almost instantly.
“I’m sorry we argued,” I pouted. “I was going to bring you over some blueberry muffins to apologise.”
“I’m not like your brothers, baby,” Jason chuckled gently. “You can’t buy me with food.” He raised his eyebrow at me and brought his hand up to the back of my neck, rubbing it gently.
“I just wanted to show you I was sorry. I wasn’t trying to buy you back,” I mumbled, feeling a little disheartened.
“I wasn’t saying I couldn’t be bought,” he grinned. “I just meant my price is different.” He leaned in to kiss me and the world around me stood still as it always did when our lips met. He coaxed my mouth open with gentle kisses and his tongue entered my mouth slowly, tenderly stroking my own. This wasn’t a fast-paced, passionate exchange. This was a bona fide, Jason Reed, apology-kiss and I loved it.
“There,” he breathed as he pulled back. “Now I’m bought.”
He flashed his cocky smile and I found myself smiling back. Or at least I was smiling until I noticed Xander still hovering in the kitchen.
“Could you give us a moment, Xander?” I asked as sweetly as I could considering how irritated I was with him hovering whilst Jason and I tried to make up.
“Breakfast,” he shrugged, moving further into the kitchen.
“I’m making muffins, you can have some. I’ll bring you some when they’re done,” I said, perhaps a little less friendly this time.
He nodded and turned around, making his way into the lounge.
“So that’s him, huh?” Jason said, turning back to me to help me finish up the muffins.
“Yup,” I frowned.
“You talked to him much?”
I shook my head. Xander didn’t really seem like the talking kind.
“Awkward,” Jason said, trying hard not to smile and failing.
“Please tell me you don’t find this funny?” I frowned at him waving a muffin mixture coated wooden spoon in his face.
“A little,” he admitted, snatching the wooden spoon away from me so he could lick it.
Can’t be bought by food – yeah, right. Jason obviously saw my “not-amused” expression because he planted a gentle kiss to my forehead and started making me a cup of tea. Tea was ranked two on my calming artefacts list, right behind the smell of Jason.
We sat down at the table, waiting for the muffins to finish whilst we each cradled a cup of tea.
“I’m so sorry, Jamie,” Jason said eventually.
“I’m sorry too,” I mumbled. “I don’t like arguing with you.”
“Me neither, you were right though,” he conceded. “I was doing exactly what your brothers usually do and making decisions for you. That’s not what I want to do.”
I smiled happily over at him because he did, in fact, understand why it had bothered me so much and I appreciated it.
“You’re so cute and innocent it makes people just want to protect you. It’s just the way you are.
The way you see people with an honesty and faith in mankind knocks my socks off,” he said, piercing my eyes with his own as he spoke. “It can make people see you as vulnerable and naïve, like you need protecting.
At first, I didn’t realise how strong you were because of the way you let your brothers push you around but I know now that you’re just too kind and loving to want to upset and annoy them.
What I see now though, and what your brothers are starting to understand, is that you are strong, Jamie. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met and you don’t need protecting. You just need to be appreciated so that you can spread your perspective to others and open their eyes to the beauty with which you see the world.”
My brain worked double time trying to memorise every single word out of his beautiful lips. I never wanted to forget a single syllable of it. I wanted it tattooed on my mind for all eternity.
I loved seeing myself through Jason’s eyes. I loved his honesty. I loved how he opened up to me.
“I love you,” I breathed once blood finally reached my cortex.
“I love you too,” he blushed.
I smiled happily at the sight of a rare Jason Reed blush and squeezed his hand across the table.
“I’m not strong though,” I shook my head, feeling ashamed that I was somehow disappointing him. “Not like you are. Not like my brothers are.”
“Jamie,” Jason frowned, squeezing my hand gently. “You are so strong it’s unbelievable.” He brushed his thumb over my lips as I opened them to argue. “Being strong isn’t about physical attributes, baby. You have strength of character. You’ve been through so much, things that could destroy a lesser person.
Not only did you get through it, you also came out the other side without losing what makes you into the person you are. You didn’t lose yourself. You are beautiful, inside and out.”
There was no way to reply to that, no way to truly express how grateful I was for his words, so instead I darted round the table and climbed into his lap to give him my own version of a thank-you kiss. A borderline indecent thank-you kiss if the hardness growing beneath me had anything to say about it.
The digital alarm on my phone went off to tell me the muffins were ready and we broke off the kiss, wide-eyed, breathless, and both cursing the universe for ruining our moment.
I plated them up and left a few on the side for Adam before taking the plate into the lounge.
“Blueberry muffins,” I mumbled, setting the plate down on the coffee table and sitting on the other sofa, away from Xander.
“You two already talked about everything?” Jason asked, seemingly unaware of the tension between the two of us.
“What is there to talk about,” I shrugged.
Jason raised his eyebrow, both shocked and amused by the sharp tone of voice I was using.
“What’s up?” He asked, glancing at Xander apologetically, as though he was trying to excuse my hostile behaviour. Xander looked completely nonplussed as he devoured a muffin.
I shrugged and picked at my own muffin.
“She thinks I’m an asshole,” Xander smirked.
I really hate that smirk.
Jason chuckled and grinned over at me. “You called him an asshole?”
I shrugged again, focussing on removing a large blueberry from the middle of my muffin. I called him an ass, but asshole was close enough and fit just as well.
“He’s here to help keep you safe, Jamie,” Jason frowned “But she chose me so she’s a good judge of character,” he added, looking at Xander.
“Wasn’t disagreeing,” Xander replied, his smirk almost turning into a grin. “Just surprised. Ian said she was shy.”
I scowled. What is his problem? He seemed to get his kicks from trying to piss me off. I had to keep reminding myself that Ian had recruited Xander for my safety and I had promised to be good so he didn’t have to worry whilst he was away.
Jason grinned and shook his head in amusement. “No, not so much any more. Calling somebody who she’s barely met an asshole is kind of a new one though. You must have made an impression.” He looked down at me with a cheeky smile and brushed his lips over my forehead.
I huddled closer to him and let his scent fill my nostrils. I knew Xander hadn’t really done anything and I’d been kind of rude to him. I needed to be a bit more friendly.
“Sorry, Xander,” I said genuinely, glancing up at him.
“S’okay,” he shrugged. We remained silent a while longer before he continued. “Damn. Muffins are good.”
“Glad you like them,” I smiled back, happy we were finally getting a d
iscourse going.
“So, what are you going to do exactly?” Jason asked, looking over at Xander.
“You mean why am I here playing babysitter to your girlfriend?” Xander deadpanned.
“I know why you’re here,” Jason frowned, his jaw turning tense at the unpleasant reminder. “I just want to know what it means for Jamie’s day-to-day life.”
“Covered the basics,” he shrugged, putting his plate and mug down and turning to face us. “Wherever Jelly goes, I go. Shops, school, gym, anywhere.”
I frowned, feeling like a puppy on a leash again. Xander and Jason both noticed my reaction.
“Know you’re not used to somebody following you around-” Xander started but I almost choked on my muffin when I laughed out loud.
“I thought you knew my brother,” I said with no small amount of sarcasm.
Jason chuckled and squeezed me gently into his side.
“As I was saying,” Xander continued, not amused. “You need to let me know your plans in advance. On my own in this. Owe your brother a favour, and intend to honour that, but I can’t be on my guard twenty-four seven. There’s a threat to you, you need to work with me so I can do my job. Got it?”
I nodded, surprised to have heard quite so many words from this normally quiet man. I could tell that he was serious. I also knew from the way that he talked about Ian that he held a lot of respect for my brother and really did want to make sure I was kept safe.
“How far in advance?” Jason asked.
“A week at least,” Xander shrugged.
“We’re going to Newcastle on Friday,” Jason cringed.
Ben would be graduating and we planned on going up there to celebrate with him and Hannah.
Xander pursed his lips but nodded anyway. “How were you going to get there?”
“Train,” Jason shrugged.
“No,” Xander shook his head firmly. “Not an option. Rent a car.”
“Alright,” Jason frowned.
I knew that would be a hell of a lot more expensive. “I can pay for it,” I offered, feeling guilty that he had to go to all this trouble because of me.
“Don’t be daft, little squirrel,” Jason shook his head. “You don’t need to worry about that.”