Always with You (WIth You Trilogy)

by Sable, R. J.

  “Karl,” Jake answered, rolling his eyes at me.

  I grinned back because we both knew what would be happening if Karl had seen him rolling his eyes. I half-listened to the one-sided conversation, which consisted predominantly of “no, sir” and “yes, sir”, and felt a little sorry for Jake. It was obvious Karl was in a bad mood.

  “Jelly’s here, want to talk to her?” I heard Jake ask.

  I shook my head emphatically at him. I didn’t want to talk to Karl if he was in a bad mood. Jake grinned mischievously and handed the phone over to me.

  “Morning, Karl,” I greeted as happily as I could whilst glaring at Jake.

  “What are you doing at Jake’s?” Karl demanded. “I thought you were going to stay at Jason’s brother’s house.”

  “Xander didn’t think it was safe for me to go out so Jake offered to let them have a party here,” I explained, not that I felt he really needed an explanation.

  “Jake said you had a nightmare?” He continued.

  I glanced at Jake, realising I should have eavesdropped on their conversation a little more closely.

  “Yeah,” I said awkwardly, not sure how close he was to going military on me.

  “Are you okay?” He said gently

  “I am,” I nodded. “Jake looked after me.”

  “Good.”

  “How’s my little niece?” I smiled.

  “She’s good,” Karl answered. I could hear him grinning. “She’s trying to grab the phone as we speak.”

  “Kids these days,” I teased.

  “Tell me about it,” he laughed. “I’ll talk to you later, be good, Jellybean.”

  I handed the phone back to Jake, smiling sympathetically.

  “Fucking typical,” he sighed.

  “What?” I frowned.

  “He’s a dick to me and laughs and jokes with you,” Jake scowled.

  “Jake, it’s not like that,” I tried to assure him. “You know how it is when they’re pissed at us. He’ll go back to normal when he’s decided he’s forgiven you for whatever you argued about.”

  “Whatever,” he shrugged, flopping back down onto the bed with his forearm over his eyes. “It’s always been easy for you.”

  “Easy for me? What the hell are you talking about, Jake? You’re the one that had it easy. You’re the one that did whatever the hell you wanted. I never got any leeway!”

  “Bullshit!” He shouted, pulling his arm away to look at me. “You’re always a goody two shoes. They say jump, you say how high!”

  “What choice did I have, Jake? I wasn’t as brave as you. I didn’t dare stand up to them!”

  Jake looked at me gormlessly, his eyebrows knitted together as I glared at him, annoyed that he could be so blind to everything.

  “Brave?” He grinned eventually.

  I nodded glumly. I’d always been ashamed of the fact that I never fought back or argued with my brothers. I just did as I was told because I felt so guilty about all the trouble I’d caused. Jake had always been the one to kick up a fuss and argue his case, even if it usually ended up in him getting an asskicking.

  “Jelly, I don’t think a week went by that I wasn’t getting my arse handed to me.”

  “At least they listened to you,” I grumbled. “Nobody listens to me.”

  “That’s because you spent half your childhood refusing to speak,” he teased.

  “Good point,” I muttered sulkily as Jake wrapped his arm round my shoulder.

  “I didn’t mean to be a dick, Jelly,” he sighed. “These early mornings are getting to me and everybody’s been really nice to you and I guess I was just jealous.” He was silent for a second before he spoken again, so quietly it was almost indiscernible. “I think they all blame me for letting Duff get to you.”

  “Oh, Jake,” I cried, wrapping my arms around him. “That’s not true. None of them blame you because it wasn’t your fault. I told you already.”

  “Then why are they being such hardasses?” He shook his head in frustration.

  “Because they always are?” I said dryly, trying to get him to cheer up. “You know how they are. They aren’t doing it to be horrible. They all drove all the way up here for your birthday, Jake. They wouldn’t have done that if they didn’t love you.”

  “Sorry,” he shook his head. “It just gets a bit much sometimes, you know?” He sighed. “I wish I could just shut the fuck up and stop arguing back but I get so sick of them being so controlling. I’m fucking twenty-one. They don’t get to decide what time I get up.”

  “I know, Jake,” I’m sorry. I knew exactly what he meant. “If it’s any consolation, I always thought it was awesome how you stuck up for yourself. I was jealous.”

  “You shouldn’t have been. No fun being a human punch bag,” he muttered.

  “I dunno, you usually get a few punches in. You almost broke Matt’s nose,” I grinned.

  “That was awesome,” he smiled a little before sighing and pulling away from the hug. “I hate not being in control.”

  “I hated it too,” I admitted. “I hated not having control over anything in my life. I hated not getting to wear what I wanted, not being able to go to parties without you. Not being able to eat my own lunch or pick my own meals. I know they meant well, that they had the best intentions, but sometimes I felt more like a pet then a sister.”

  “I’m sorry,” he frowned. “About taking your lunch.”

  I grinned. “I wasn’t telling you that to make you feel guilty.

  “I know,” he shrugged again. “But it was still a twatty thing to do.”

  “It’s okay,” I said because I didn’t know what else to say.

  “Craig used to take mine,” he admitted. “But I think he only did it because the others took his.”

  “Whose was I meant to take?” I teased.

  He shrugged. “Alex’?”

  “That boy’s skinny enough already,” I laughed, as did Jake.

  We sat in silence a while longer. I’d had no idea how much it all got to Jake. He always seemed so much stronger than I did. I was glad we’d talked about it though. It felt like we’d knocked down the invisible wall between us. Jake and I had both been through the same crap, we’d gotten through it in different ways. Perhaps it would have been easier for us if we’d tried to help each other through it instead.

  Jason was exhausted when he turned up at Jake’s. He and Ben had stayed up into the early hours talking. He didn’t say what about but he seemed a little happier and I took it as a good sign that he might be learning to open up.

  When we commenced the drive back to Leeds, I insisted he take the back seat so he could spread out and sleep a little. Despite the fact that I didn’t sleep much myself, I felt energised by opening up with Jake. It was nice to know that I wasn’t alone in feeling frustrated sometimes. It made me feel slightly less ungrateful.

  “He out?” Xander asked, looking at Jason’s sleeping form through the rear-view mirror.

  “Yeah,” I smiled affectionately, keeping my voice low so he wouldn’t wake up. I loved how peaceful he looked when he was asleep, free of all the stress of the waking world.

  “Xander?” I prompted, encouraged by the fact that he had initiated a conversation.

  He didn’t reply but I saw his eyes flick over to me and I took that as permission to continue.

  “Where do you live? When you’re not being forced to look after your friend’s little sisters, I mean.”

  “Manchester.”

  I nodded, a little surprised that he’d answered.

  “What?” He smirked, clearly having noted the surprise on my face. “Where did you think I lived?”

  “The bat cave?” I offered.

  Xander laughed, he actually laughed. “Think I’m batman?”

  “No, Ian’s Batman. You’re Robin,” I goaded him.

  “Fucking sidekick,” Xander muttered, scoffing in disgust.

  “You missing home?” I continued, enjoying the open stream of information.<
br />
  Returning to form, Xander just shrugged.

  “Don’t you have a girlfriend waiting on you?” I pressed, wanting to understand the emotionless brick wall who would be shadowing me for the foreseeable future.

  “Died,” Xander answered quickly. He looked almost as surprised as I did that he’d offered the information freely.

  “That sucks,” I said, because what else could I say. There was no point saying “I’m sorry” because they were just empty words. There was nothing anyone could do.

  “Yeah, kid,” he chuckled bitterly. “It sucks.”

  There was a long silence and I contemplated putting my headphones in so that I didn’t feel it quite so intensely but Xander surprised me again by speaking up.

  “You draw?”

  “Um, draw?” I frowned, immediately hating myself for saying “um.”

  “With a pencil,” he explained condescendingly.

  “Oh. Not really. Not since I was a kid,” I shrugged, completely thrown off kilter by the odd line of questioning.

  “Elephants?” He prompted.

  “What?” My frown deepened. Now it felt like he was chucking out random words.

  “You draw elephants when you were a kid?”

  Okay, now he was just being creepy. I used to draw pictures of Nelly when I was little. I just nodded dumbly, trying to figure out why he was asking and how he knew.

  “Ian always had a drawing of an elephant with him on deployments,” he graced me with a gruff explanation.

  “He did?” I breathed, a happy smile breaking out over my face at the thought that Ian took something of me with him when he left.

  Xander nodded. “Never left without it. Good luck charm.”

  “Ian doesn’t believe in luck,” I scoffed.

  “No,” Xander agreed. “He believes in family.”

  My smile broadened at those words.

  “He’ll be fine,” Xander continued, knocking my smile slightly at the reminder that Ian was abroad, in unknown places, fighting unknown threats.

  “How do you know that?” I whispered, scared to hear the answer.

  “Got your drawing with him. Knows what he’s got to come home to.”

  My smile returned multiplied by a thousand. This moody, temperamental, and impossible man had just made my day. I could see the pain in his eyes when he mentioned his girlfriend and it went some way to explaining why he was the way he was. It warmed my heart that he’d gone to the effort of reassuring me, even though he obviously didn’t like talking. When Xander told me Ian was going to be fine, I came very close to believing it.

  Chapter 16

  Saturday, 3rd August 2013

  Despite Xander’s continued presence and the lurking threat that was always taunting me from the shadows, I didn’t think I’d ever been this excited. This would be the first time Jason and I had celebrated his birthday together. My man’s getting old. I smiled at the thought. The age difference between Jason and I never really bothered me. I’d honestly never given it much thought. He was six years older and I knew my Aunt Megan had her reservations about the difference. Maybe it didn’t bother me because I’d always been so close to Craig and he and Jason were the same age.

  I wanted to do something awesome for Jason’s twenty-fifth but I honestly had no idea what to do. The decision was taken out of my hands somewhat when I happened to mention it to Craig when we were catching up on the phone. I could see the mischievous expression on his face all the way from Leeds.

  Ben was eager to join in on the celebrations and he and Hannah were coming down to Leeds for the day. I’d let Xander know well in advance and he hadn’t put up any protest. He’d even seemed more relaxed when I said some of my brothers would be there. It may have been Xander’s job to protect me, but my brothers had been doing it much longer. Xander did his job well but he was right in that he was pretty much on his own most of the time. I figured he’d appreciate the extra eyes.

  I crept out of bed that morning, careful not to wake Jason, so I could go and prepare breakfast in bed for him. Blueberry pancakes and freshly squeezed orange juice were on the menu. It’d been almost impossible to get a surprise present for Jason because we didn’t spend much time apart. I’d had to enlist Alex’ help whilst he’d been up visiting Rab. I’d never been more grateful I had a gay best friend. Not only could I trust him with the task, but I knew he had exquisite taste.

  Once breakfast was ready, I snuck into the bathroom the guys used and changed into the outfit Alex had bought me, wrapping my bathrobe around me to hide it.

  “Morning, birthday boy,” I smiled, placing the tray on the bedside table and whispering gently to wake Jason up.

  He rolled over, his eyes still heavily lidded and half asleep. “Morning beautiful,” he greeted sleepily.

  “Breakfast in bed,” I beamed. “Not every day you’re half way to fifty.”

  He grinned back. “How’s it feel to be in love with an old man?”

  “As wonderful as ever,” I returned. “In fact, you seem to get a bit more loveable everyday.”

  “So you’ll still love me when I’m old and wrinkly?” He pouted adorably and nestled his face against my palm as I stroked his cheek.

  My heart fluttered happily in my chest with the knowledge that Jason saw me in his future just as I saw him in mine.

  “Most definitely,” I smiled. “Want to unwrap your present before or after breakfast?” I grinned, aware I was blushing and knowing that Jason would notice.

  He looked at me for a second, his eyes turning dark. They flicked around the room quickly as though double-checking that there weren’t any presents hidden somewhere.

  “I’m thinking before,” he grinned.

  My smile matched his as I stood up and pushed away from the bed. I closed my eyes briefly, drawing up my confidence. I knew Jason would love what I was wearing. I loved that I knew he would. He’d given me such confidence in myself through the way he looked at me. He treated me with such wonder and reverence and I would never be able to thank him enough for it.

  The robe fell away from my body and pooled at my feet. I opened my eyes to watch Jason taking me in. Alex’ orders had been sophisticated sexy and he’d nailed it. I didn’t want anything overly sultry or something that screamed “sex” because I knew that wasn’t me. I wanted something that would show Jason that I appreciated the confidence he’d given me in my body without seeming tacky.

  I was dressed in a pearl basque with panels of intricate lace and simple, flattering cups. The satin and mesh was soft against my oversensitive skin, my nipples already pebbled against the thin fabric. The suspender straps were attached to matching stockings with a thick lace edging. They made my legs look impossibly long and I felt truly sexy.

  This feeling came more from the way Jason was drinking me in than from the outfit itself. When his eyes rested on the ridiculously high-heeled shoes I’d gotten (whilst ignoring the imaginary disapproving looks my brothers would give me), I thought they might pop out. His jaw was literally hanging open.

  “Happy Birthday,” I smiled eventually, twirling around slowly so he could see me more clearly.

  Jason remained silent a while longer before his eyes finally met mine and a slow, lazy smile spread across his face. “Best fucking birthday present ever!”

  I grinned happily, delighted that he liked it. “Aren’t you going to unwrap me?” I teased, taking a few steps closer when he beckoned me over.

  “First I’m going to enjoy you all wrapped up,” he grinned. “It’s so fucking hot that you’re not wearing knickers.”

  “I figured you’d only take them off,” I smirked, resting my hands on his shoulders whilst he sat up in bed with me stood between his legs, his hands exploring the curves of my body.

  When he was done, making sure that his fingers had traced over every inch, he stood up. His glorious, naked heat pressed against me as he encircled my waist with one arm, pulling me into him.

  His lips pressed to mine, his tongu
e coaxing my lips, his taste exquisite as usual. I moaned into his mouth as he deepened the kiss and my fingers travelled into Jason’s soft hair of their own accord.

  “You are so beautiful, Jamie,” Jason breathed against my ear. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” I simpered.

  This was meant to be his present so I pulled away slightly and began pressing open-mouthed kisses along his collarbones, down across his chest, and circling around his nipple. Tasting the slight salt of his skin, my tongue traced the grooves between his abs. I loved the way his muscles tensed and released at my touch and rippled under his skin.

  I lowered myself to my knees, my eyes never leaving his. I held his length in my hand, keeping him flat against his stomach so my tongue could trace a line from his sack to his tip and then I watched as he closed his eyes and let out a slow breath.

  I took his tip in my mouth and let my hands travel round his strong, muscular thighs to his taught behind, holding on tightly so that he’d understand that I wanted to do this, wanted to give him pleasure.

  “Fuck, Jamie,” Jason breathed through clenched teeth as I took him deep into the back of my throat. “You drive me crazy.”

  I hummed in appreciation and Jason bucked against me as the sound vibrated down his cock. I brought one hand round to the front again to gently massage his balls as I drew him in and out of the hot heat of my mouth.

  “Enough,” he groaned. “Jesus, baby.”

  I smiled with my lips parted around his length and let him take back control. He very rarely relinquished it and I knew he was more comfortable in the position of power and I was only too happy to let him take the lead.

  “Elbows on the desk,” he ordered, taking my hand gently to help me up from the floor. The gesture was tender despite the growl of dominance in his voice.

  I did as he said, resting my hands and forearms on the desk with my back to Jason, my legs parted slightly and my back arched in silent invitation.

  I heard the click of Jason’s phone behind me as he snapped a picture. I turned my head to look at him and he grinned back, looking quite proud of himself. It wasn’t the first picture Jason had taken of me in similar situations. I trusted him one hundred percent. I’d taken a little convincing but he assured me his phone was password protected and he’d have to kill any other man that saw the pictures so I let him take them.