by Sable, R. J.
“I wish I’d known her,” I said sadly.
“She would have loved you so much,” Ian returned my sad smile. “You remind me of her. More now than ever. You have her spark. I wish Mum and Dad had gotten the chance to get to know you like I do. They’d be as proud as I am.”
“You’re going to make me cry, stop it,” I scolded him, resting my head on his shoulder.
“Sorry,” he smirked. “I love you, Jellybean.”
“I love you too, Ian,” I smiled. He’d said it twice in ten minutes and it meant so much to me. His love and approval were the closest thing I’d ever have to the acceptance of the parents I’d never know.
“Come on, soppy git,” he nudged me with his shoulder. “Let’s go downstairs before your boyfriend starts bitching at me.”
I laughed and followed him down the stairs to where Jason was sat on the sofa with Adam. Jason slapped his palms against his thighs in an invite for me to sit on his lap. Ian rolled his eyes as I obliged but he was definitely smiling a little.
“Your hands move even a millimetre north or south and I’ll remove them for you,” Ian grunted once Jason hooked his hand around my waist.
“Like this?” Jason grinned, starting to move his hand upwards.
“Jason,” I grabbed his hand with a laugh, locking it in place at my waist. I knew he was only winding Ian up but it wasn’t really fair on him.
Ian shook his head and threw a pillow in our general direction, much to Adam’s amusement. It had been a long day but I was feeling buzzed after my chat with Ian. Seeing him joke around with Jason made me feel so complete. Like the two biggest parts of my life finally merging.
“Adam,” Ian interjected, pulling me away from my happy musings. “Matt tells me you’re spending Christmas at ours.”
“I…” Adam hedged, his eyes flicking sideways to me in an obvious display of nerves.
“Bring Toblerone,” Ian continued, not giving him chance to reply. “And lots of it.”
“Toblerone?” Adam raised an eyebrow in complete bewilderment.
“Yeah and maybe some gob stoppers.”
Adam just looked at him in confusion before turning to face me in the hope of some sort of explanation.
“Toblerones are the only kind of food the twins eat slowly,” I explained with a grin.
“They’re like kids at Christmas,” Ian added.
“It helps keep them quiet. The gobstoppers are for back-up,” I laughed.
“The twins are awesome,” Adam chuckled.
“They have their moments,” Ian smirked.
“I just wish they’d get girlfriends,” I sighed. “They’re getting old.” I quickly added an “-er” to the end of that when Ian shot me a scowl.
“Just because you’re going through a romantic phase doesn’t mean you need to infect the rest of us,” Ian said with a wicked grin.
“It’s not a phase, Ian,” I snapped, aiming my constantly improving Carter-glare at him. I could feel the stiffening of Jason’s body around me and I knew he hadn’t taken kindly to Ian’s insinuation. It bothered me that Jason would even react to that. He knows how much I love him.
“Easy, Reed,” Ian chuckled, his eyes scanning Jason’s tense expression. “You’d have to be an idiot not to notice that my little sister’s head over heels for you. In which case, I’m going to have to get her into a different university because you’re meant to be getting your PhD here.”
Jason relaxed beneath me, pulling me a little closer to him so that my back was firmly planted against the ever-calming presence of his broad chest.
“Going to be so cool to say my boyfriend has a PhD,” I cooed, wanting to Jason to accept Ian’s apology for what it was and move past it.
“PhD,” Adam shook his head with a sigh. “You act like a lovesick idiot around Jamie, it’s easy to forget you’re a genius.”
I laughed at the cheeky smile on his face but what he was saying was true. Not the lovesick idiot part. Jason really was extremely clever, that much was obvious in the way he studied the minute details in everything, the way he was able to pick up things that other people missed. He never rubbed it in anyone’s face though. It was easy to forget that he was so sharp minded.
“Pfft… Renewable energy systems, right?” Ian prompted. The prompt was just a courtesy; Ian never forgot anything.
Jason just nodded and swept my hair to one side so he could kiss the corner of my jawbone, right below my ear.
“So you just play with potato batteries and solar powered calculators?” Ian goaded.
“If I tell you what I’m working with are you actually going to listen?” Jason retorted with a chuckle.
Ian just raised a sarcastic eyebrow in Jason’s direction but there was a sparkle of curiosity in his eyes.
“I got my bachelors in Natural Sciences at Cambridge, focussing on Chemistry with Engineering as my double major. I came to Leeds to get my masters in Electrical Engineering and Renewable Energy Systems. My doctoral thesis is focussed on a combination of nanostructured photovoltaics, thermal and kinetic energy, and the potential for the use of the three in portable batteries,” Jason said, sounding almost bored.
I got the impression he was trying to act like it wasn’t important but that Ian’s approval somehow meant something to him.
“Lot of big words for a guy that can’t tell when a girl is madly in love with him,” Ian chuckled, winking in my direction.
“He knows,” I grinned. “He just needs reminding sometimes.”
“Yeah, well,” Ian shook his head with a wry smile. “Just remind him when I’m not around, thanks.”
“Roger that,” I conceded with a chuckle.
“You understand all those big words, Jellybean?” Ian teased.
“All the ones with five letters or less,” I admitted with a grin. “But I know he sounded very good saying them. I still don’t get what photographing volcanoes has to do with it though.”
Adam laughed and Jason’s chuckle vibrated through his chest and into my back. I was struggling to get the blush off my face remembering back to our e-mail chat about photovoltaics and where it had led.
“Are you sure you guys don’t mind me coming to yours for Christmas? I don’t wanna be in the way,” Adam asked once we’d settled down again. His usual happy grin was absent and I felt bad seeing him nervously chewing on his bottom lip.
“You’re part of the family now, Collins,” Ian grinned. “Don’t try and get out of it or you’ll be on sprout duty.”
“I’ve never tried sprouts,” Adam shrugged and for some reason that made me horribly depressed.
Adam was one of my best friends. He’d once selflessly risked himself for me and I knew he’d do it again in a heartbeat. How somebody as beautiful, inside and out, as Adam had never found a loving family to accept him was beyond me. Missing out on sprouts may not have sounded like any sort of punishment but sprouts and Christmas traditions went hand in hand.
We avoid them like the plague until Christmas just to put the compulsory three on our plates, slather them with whatever sauce or gravy is available and practically swallow them whole so we don’t taste them. Missing out on sprouts meant missing out on Christmas dinner. Missing out on Christmas dinner meant missing out on crackers, stupid hats, and appallingly bad jokes. Adam deserved to live through all that.
“You’ll love them,” Ian smirked, prompting me to shake my head at him.
For a vegetarian, Adam ate very little food of the green variety.
“Don’t listen to him,” Jason laughed. “Me and Ben cooked them every year at Christmas when we were younger. The only way they’re even remotely edible is if you wrap them in a slice of streaky bacon and that’s not really an option for you.”
“Jesus, why have we never thought of that?” Ian grinned, slapping his palm against his forehead. “You’re helping cook this year.”
Ian hadn’t even asked Jason if he was coming, he just assumed he was because Jason was a part of us now. Remember
ing back to the awkward situation last year had me grinning with how times had changed. A year previously, the idea of having Jason around my brothers was torturous but now they just treated him like a friend who they occasionally threatened to dismember for touching me. The threats carried little weight these days and I actually loved spending time with them together because there was little to no tension left.
“Alright but only if Jamie makes dessert,” Jason answered with his own million-dollar smile.
“Deal,” I smiled, already in heaven thinking about having the family together two years in a row, only this time the family had grown and Jason was most definitely becoming a part of it.
***
The next morning, Ian was still in a great mood as the four of us sat around the kitchen table. It was contagious and the smiles spread like wildfire. Ian made us eggy bread and I was happy to let him cook because he was so good at it.
“Finished, Jellybean?” Ian asked, motioning to my empty plate.
I nodded and licked my lips, savouring the last of the delicious morsels.
“Alright. Wash up, will you?” He grinned, tugging gently on the ends of my ponytail before planting a kiss on my forehead and heading up the stairs.
I grinned to myself as I collected the dishes. He’d asked me to wash up, not demanded. I knew he expected me to do it anyway but I appreciated the gesture. It was only fair seeing as he cooked. Adam dried and we were done in no time. He seemed so happy after being invited slash ordered to our house for Christmas. I couldn’t imagine growing up with no real family at all. We weren’t a conventional family but we were still a family filled with love, a family which would embrace Adam with open arms.
“Right, you three,” Ian pointed at us, coming back down the stairs. “Outside.”
“Yes, sir,” Adam drawled with a laugh.
I was surprised to see that Ian just winked at him. Even Jason looked pleasantly surprised that Ian didn’t mind.
“What for?” I prompted, already following them out.
Ian didn’t reply, instead he motioned to a cobalt blue car parked in the driveway.
“We going somewhere?” I frowned at him.
“Maybe,” Ian shrugged. “That’s up to you.”
I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what he meant. Ian just grinned and motioned me closer to the car. I obliged and approached the very shiny looking car which I assumed he’d rented for some purpose.
“Volvo V40,” Ian explained.
“Okay…” I hesitated, looking to Jason to see if he knew what Ian was up to. It appeared he did not.
“Safest car in its class,” he continued. “Like the colour?”
“Um, yes?” I replied, my confusion growing by the minute.
“Good,” he nodded with a grin, tossing the keys at me.
I scrambled and caught them at the last second, still not really cottoning on. “Ian, you know I can’t drive,” I frowned, holding them out for him to take.
He gave me a condescending look, like I was being stupid for pointing out something he already knew. Clearly I was missing something here.
“I thought it was about time you learnt,” Ian shrugged eventually.
“What?” I blurted. Not what I was expecting. Whereas the others had been encouraged to learn to drive, at their own expense, nobody had really said anything when I’d turned seventeen and gotten my provisional license.
“Can’t do that without a car,” he shrugged again.
“What?” I repeated. “A car?” My mind was racing at a million miles an hour trying to compute this.
“Yes, Jelly,” Ian sighed. “Automobile. Vehicle. Chasse, four wheels, and an engine. You get the gist.”
“You borrowed a car for me to learn to drive in?” I ventured, still blown away by the notion that he wanted me to learn to drive.
Ian shook his head. “Not exactly. Karl and I thought it was about time you learnt and it’ll make it easier for you to get around and have fun with your friends.”
“You and Karl?” I prompted.
Ian nodded. “It’s in your name. Insurance is all sorted.”
“In my name? You mean you bought it?” I blurted, eyes wide with shock. I’d thought he’d rented it.
“Karl and I did,” he smiled confidently. “And before you say anything,” he cut me off when I started to protest. “Jake’s got one too. A Golf GTI, Karl figured that’s the one he’d want. You’re both at uni, it’s only fair you both get one.”
“Ian, I…” I didn’t know what to say. “It’s too much.”
“Jelly,” Ian’s voice turned stern in warning. “Take the car.”
His face was expressionless but I could see the insistence behind his eyes. I could see this was important to him. I knew he’d said he wanted to make things up to me but I didn’t want him buying me things. I just wanted him to stop being so controlling.
“Ian, I-”
“Please, Jelly,” he added softly, for my ears only.
Dammit. I can’t say no to that. Instead, I nodded my head and wrapped my arms around him in a grateful embrace, whispering my thanks and trying to hold back my tears of appreciation. This was a gift that went beyond a simple exchange of tangible objects. This was something else. This was freedom. I understood what he was giving me and the understanding was truly wonderful.
All my life, I’d been dependent on my brothers. I’d needed them for everything. In giving me a car, and encouraging me to learn to drive, they were giving me independence. It meant I could come and go as I pleased and see anywhere I wanted to.
“I love it,” I managed, my voice breaking with the intensity of emotion I felt.
“Good,” Ian relaxed into his cocky grin, clearly pleased I was accepting. “Let’s go play with her.”
Ian drove us to a large industrial site on the edge of the city that was mostly run down. The industrial park was almost completely empty and the perfect place to practice.
“What are you gonna call it, shorty?” Adam grinned, walking round the car to admire it.
I looked at my new car and immediately knew what it had to be called. “Berty,” I announced happily.
“Berty?” Ian wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Are you serious?”
“He looks like a Berty,” I nodded, happy with my choice.
“Jelly, cars are girls,” Ian said as if it was obvious and I was crazy.
“Nope. Berty,” I insisted.
“Berty,” Ian muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.
“I like it,” Jason grinned.
“You would,” Ian snorted before turning his attention to Adam. “You got your provisional, right Collins?”
“Yeah,” Adam raised his eyebrow sceptically.
“Good, I put you on the insurance. You too, Jason.”
“Me?” Jason cocked his head.
“Who’s gonna teach them when I’m back in Derby?” Ian grinned.
“Awesome, cheers,” Jason nodded back, flashing me his million-dollar smile.
“I checked your license,” Ian shrugged. “You get a single point on it and we’ll have to renegotiate.”
Jason muttered something about invasion of privacy but he didn’t look too bothered and I suspected he understood the hidden message behind Ian’s gift as well as I did.
“Jelly, driver’s seat. Adam, you can go second,” Ian ordered with a grin.
Chapter 32
Thursday, 10th October 2013
“So, what do you think the chances are of your brother murdering me if I crash Berty?” Adam asked me once Ian had left and caught the train back to Derby.
“Well, you might want to take up running just in case,” I teased.
“Why?” Adam’s eyes widened in horror.
“I ran the equivalent of three marathons in a week last time Ian wanted to get back at me,” Jason smirked.
“He made you run three marathons?” Adam recoiled.
“No,” Jason answered. “More like he required it to prove my
self worthy of Jamie.”
“Sick,” Adam shook his head in a combination of amusement and horror.
“They’re not that bad anymore,” I chuckled uneasily.
“No, not quite,” Jason admitted. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Adam. It’s all covered on the insurance.”
Adam didn’t look convinced. Although, seeing as he was a bit more comfortable having his foot on the accelerator than I was, it was probably best to be cautious.
“I still can’t believe he put me on your car insurance,” he shook his head again.
“Our car insurance,” I grinned. “My brothers think you’re ace, Adam. Especially the twins, you guys have got some sort of bromance thing going on.”
Adam just smiled cheekily and wiggled his eyebrows in response but I could tell how much it meant to him. I was about to start warning him not to hurt little Berty when my phone rang.
“Hi, Jake,” I grinned upon answering. “How’s the car?”
“Fucking awesome!” He cried excitedly. He started rambling about suspension, engine sizes, and god knows what else so I humoured him and chipped in with semi-enthusiastic “yeahs” wherever it seemed appropriate.
“We need to race them!” He declared after he’d gone through his cars specs.
“Jake, I can barely change gears. I’m not racing with you.”
“I can wait ‘til you get your license,” he answered, still giddy over his new car.
“Seriously, Jake, I doubt Ian would want us racing them,” I frowned.
“You’re no fun, you know that?” He sighed.
“Sorry,” I grumbled.
“I’m just kidding, Jelly,” he answered kindly. “I wouldn’t wanna wreck this beauty anyway.”
“Okay,” I answered timidly. I still wasn’t quite used to Jake being nice to me.
“I can’t believe they got us cars,” Jake continued incredulously. “That’s just… wow, right?”
“Right,” I agreed, nodding my head even though he couldn’t see me.