Trucker and Pup

by Drew Hunt

  It was necessary to roll up the legs of the trousers as they were about six inches too long. Once dressed, Kevin looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. To Joey, Kevin’s happy face lit up the room, turning a pretty face into a beautiful one.

  What the fuck’s happening to me? Joey asked himself yet again. I’m turning into an old sap. Hope I feel better in the morning.

  “Come on, dinner will be almost ready.”

  Picking the man up—despite his assurances that he could manage, given support—Joey made for the kitchen and set Kevin back down on his stool.

  “How’s your ankle doing?”

  “Okay.”

  “Pup,” Joey fixed Kevin with a stare. “Does it hurt, yes or no?”

  Kevin squirmed in his seat. “It does kinda throb a bit.”

  “Thought it might.” Joey retrieved a bag of frozen peas, wrapped it in a towel and applied it to Kevin’s lower leg.

  “It’s cold!”

  “It’s meant to be. Now stop complaining. I’ll have another look at it after dinner, and then maybe we can get away with just putting a pressure bandage on it.”

  “Thanks,” Kevin said softly.

  “Oh, and I’ve got some pain killers knocking about the place somewhere, you can take a couple with your food.”

  “I’m not all that hungry.”

  The recent events had robbed Joey of his appetite as well, but he thought it best to try and feed Kevin up, the man looked so thin. Jesus, I’m turning into my mother, Joey castigated himself.

  “I’m not much of a cook, but I don’t think I’ll poison you,” Joey said, putting the TV dinner in front of Kevin.

  The two settled down to eat, conversation somewhat muted. Looking over at Kevin who was just picking at his meal, Joey assumed his dining companion had things on his mind. He certainly had. What had caused those marks? Not a belt. He’d been on the receiving end of one enough times to know that. Well the source of the buckle mark was obvious, but what had caused those thin stripes? His anger rose towards Cal, That bastard’s gonna wish he’d never been born. Joey battled to remain calm; he had to for Kevin’s sake. The man was very fragile. He smiled to himself. The old Joey would never have used the word fragile, instead he’d have just dismissed Kevin as weak and pathetic.

  “Um, I think I should go home,” Kevin said, once he’d eaten his fill.

  Joey was dismayed to see the man hadn’t eaten very much. Though after looking at his own plate, he too hadn’t attacked the food with his usual gusto.

  Joey didn’t want Kevin to leave. He felt drawn to the smaller man, he somehow wanted, needed to take care of him, protect him. He shuddered, what the fuck’s happening to me?

  “It’s still raining,” Joey said after looking up at the rain spattering against the kitchen window.

  “I’ll be okay.”

  “I’ve got a spare room. It won’t take me a minute to make up the bed in there.”

  “I wouldn’t want to put you out.”

  Shaking his head, Joey got up from his seat and walked round to Kevin, who cowered away. “Pup,” Joey tried to assume as unthreatening a stance as he could. To achieve this he got down on his knees at the side of Kevin’s stool. “I promise you I’ll never hurt you. I’m a man of my word.”

  Kevin didn’t reply.

  Rubbing Kevin’s arm, Joey could feel the man shivering. He knew it wasn’t cold in the room. “Please look at me.”

  Kevin slowly met the larger man’s gaze.

  “Is it hard for you to give your trust to someone, because of,” Joey swallowed, “because of what happened to you?”

  Kevin nodded before his eyes filled with tears.

  Joey wanted to rise up and pull the man into a bear hug, but sensed that it wouldn’t be appropriate. “Okay. If you really want me to take you home, I will, but I’d much rather you stay so I can look after that ankle of yours.”

  “Thanks,” came the softly spoken reply.

  “You still don’t want to talk about it?”

  Kevin shook his head in the negative.

  “That’s okay. Though sometime soon I want you to tell me, but I can wait until you’re ready.”

  “Why are you being so kind? I mean you’re…” Kevin ground to a halt.

  Joey knew what Kevin meant. He’d always projected the image of the stud, a different man in his bed every weekend, but here, now…”I don’t know. I just kind of saw you sprawled out on the tarmac back at Parker’s, and I just kinda…wanted to…well, um, help you.” Joey knew his cheeks were starting to redden.

  Kevin treated Joey to a small smile. The lifting of the corners of his lips sent waves of alien emotions running through Joey’s veins. Before he knew it, he’d leant forward and placed a tender kiss on Kevin’s lips. Joey didn’t go in for kissing, thinking it unmanly, but somehow it seemed to be the right thing to do. Kevin didn’t agree. He stiffened and turned his head away. Withdrawing a few inches, Joey saw a terrified and haunted look in Kevin’s eyes.

  Damn, I’ve gone too far. “I’m sorry.” Joey looked downwards. He was no good at all this tender shit. “I just….” He swallowed. “I’m sorry.” Shaking his head, Joey changed the subject. “Okay, let’s have a look at that ankle.”

  * * * *

  Joey couldn’t sleep. Usually he was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow. But there were too many things swimming round in his head. Sighing, he turned onto his left side and tried—yet again—to fall asleep.

  “No, please, no! Please not again, I’ll be good, I’m sorry! Please don’t.” Joey then heard Kevin come out with a blood-curdling scream.

  Joey shot up in bed, darted out of his bedroom, flew across the hallway and into Kevin’s room. He was relieved Kevin hadn’t opted to lock the door, he’d told him he could.

  “Pup?” Joey said softly when he saw his guest sat bolt upright in the bed.

  The moonlight, which shone through the windows, the curtains having not been drawn, bathed Kevin in a ghostly whiteness. Joey’s heart raced as he saw his friend’s wild and unfocused eyes.

  “Pup?” he repeated a little louder.

  Joey didn’t think he ought to touch Kevin, he might still be experiencing his nightmare.

  Kevin seemed to suddenly snap into life, he looked at Joey, and began to cry with great wracking sobs.

  Joey took this as his signal to act, he sat on the side of the bed, extended his arms towards Kevin, who gratefully sank into the embrace.

  “You’re safe now, no one can hurt you.” Joey began to rub circles on Kevin’s back.

  Kevin’s own arms had fastened themselves around Joey, holding on with a death grip.

  “You need a glass of water or something?” Joey asked once Kevin had stopped crying. “Or do you want some cocoa or hot milk? I guess I could put a slug of something alcoholic in it.”

  “Thanks, Cal would never let me drink alcohol.”

  Joey tried not to get angry at the mention of Cal’s name. “Okay.”

  “Sorry to be such a baby.”

  “Don’t be silly.” Joey ruffled Kevin’s hair before getting off the bed.

  Kevin followed, but as soon as he put weight on his damaged ankle, he crumpled to the floor.

  “Come here.” Joey scooped Kevin up, their faces almost touching.

  Joey silently asked if he could kiss Kevin, who answered by moving his lips to Joey’s.

  Wow! Joey thought when they disengaged. It wasn’t exactly a passion-filled smooch, no tongues were involved, but to Joey it conveyed so much.

  Joey’s head swam with alien emotions. He negotiated his way to the front room and carefully deposited Kevin on the settee.

  After lighting the gas fire, he told Kevin he’d go and get him a quilt. “I don’t want you to get cold.”

  As he made his way back to the bedroom, Joey didn’t know where all this tenderness was coming from, but one thing of which he was certain, it felt so bloody fantastic. Was he going all paternal? He knew he’d pro
bably make a great dad, but did it go deeper than that? He didn’t know.

  Before grabbing the quilt from his bed, Joey decided he ought to put some clothes on. Pulling a T-shirt over his head, Joey realised his shoulder was still damp from where Kevin had cried on it. He’d never had anyone cry on his shoulder before. The thought made him feel warm and tingly.

  “Here we are.”

  Joey spent a little longer than was necessary in tucking the feather quilt around Kevin. He wanted to lean down and kiss the man’s forehead, but thought better of it. Shit, none of this is doing anything for my macho reputation, he thought, entering the kitchen to make the cocoa.

  * * * *

  “Budge up…” Joey said, standing in front of the settee, mugs of cocoa in hand.

  Kevin moved along the sofa, giving Joey room to sit next to him. Joey’s hands shook a little with the cold as he handed over one of the mugs.

  “Here, share the quilt with me.”

  “Thanks.” Joey hadn’t expected Kevin to want to be so intimate, but wasn’t about to refuse the offer. Even though the gas fire was blazing away, it was a cold night, and the room hadn’t had a chance to heat up.

  Once the two were snuggled together, Kevin gulped down a mouthful of his cocoa, which set off a fit of coughing. Joey took the mug from him, fearful he’d spill the hot liquid.

  “You okay?”

  “Sorry, wasn’t expecting it to taste like that.”

  “Suppose I did go overboard on the coffee liqueur.”

  “Is that what it was?” Kevin accepted the mug again, and took a more tentative sip.

  “I thought it’d help you sleep.” Watching the expression of pleasure on Kevin’s face, Joey was reluctant to delve into Kevin’s past, but decided to risk it. “You said that Cal wouldn’t let you drink, um, anything alcoholic I mean.”

  Kevin didn’t answer immediately. “No, he wanted…he thought it was his right to control everything I did.”

  “Shit, that’s heavy. You two aren’t together any more, are you?”

  Kevin shook his head.

  Joey breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Things were okay at first I suppose. I always wanted to have someone who, well, who...” Kevin faltered. “Someone I could submit to, but Cal, he didn’t know what he was doing half the time, and if you’re gonna be dominant, you have to, well…know what you’re doing.”

  “Suppose. I don’t really know nothing about that kind of shit.”

  “Each relationship is different. Some masters are more liberal than others.”

  “You had to call Cal, Master?”

  Kevin nodded then shuddered.

  “Shit. And what did he call you?”

  Whispering, causing Joey to have to lean closer, Kevin said, “Slave or boy.”

  “Fuck.”

  “I didn’t mind too much, I loved him but…“ Kevin was beginning to show signs of distress.

  “S’okay, you don’t have to tell me any more.” Joey worked an arm around Kevin’s back and gave him a squeeze.

  “Thanks, I’d like to tell you, but I don’t—”

  “You don’t trust me enough yet.”

  “Sorry.”

  “I can understand that. I promise I won’t put any pressure on you, okay?”

  “Thanks, Sir.”

  “Why, um, why do you keep calling me sir?”

  “Well, Cal taught me that I had to be deferential to men better than me.”

  “Better?”

  “Stronger, more dominant men, you know?” Kevin shifted uncomfortably.

  “I see.” Joey wasn’t sure that he did.

  “You don’t mind?”

  “Um, no, guess not.” It actually gave Joey something of a power trip. “You don’t mind me calling you Pup? You kind of remind me of a dog I used to have when I was a kid. Well, your eyes do anyway.”

  “I don’t mind, it’s kinda, well, it kinda makes me feel, well, sort of, um…well,” Kevin’s voice dropped back to a whisper. “Wanted.”

  The two fell silent, both with their own thoughts.

  “Fuck, it’s half past two, and I’ve got to be at work at eight tomorrow,” Joey said, noticing the time on the DVD player.

  “Oh yeah, you’ve got that load of dog food to deliver to Huddersfield.”

  “How come you knew that?”

  “Oh I…I…I, well I just kinda saw it on the schedule.”

  “But there’s twenty full time drivers, plus a few casuals, seems funny you knowing what I would be hauling tomorrow.”

  Kevin didn’t answer. He couldn’t meet Joey’s eyes.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing, Sir.”

  “Pup!” Joey put an edge into his voice. “One thing I can’t stand is being lied to. Although not all the drivers have a Saturday delivery, I don’t usually, but I don’t understand why you’d know about my whereabouts.”

  “Sorry, I, well, I…” Kevin dried up.

  Joey raised Kevin’s chin, and treated him to a quizzical expression, tinged with a little annoyance.

  “I like, well I’ve often, shit. I’ve kinda fantasised what it’d be like if you were my sir, if you looked after me, were my owner. You’re strong…Powerful. “ Kevin burst into tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you none of this. I know I’d never be good enough for you, and you don’t want anyone and probably I shouldn’t have anyone ’cause I’m no good, I’m damaged and worthless—”

  “Whoa!” Joey’s head was spinning. He had no idea Kevin had been, well, carrying a torch for him. He, the mean, rough lorry driver, had someone pining after him? God, he couldn’t process all of this so early, or was it late, in the morning.

  “I’m sorry, Sir, You said you wouldn’t press me, but you did, and I shouldn’t have said anything, I’ve spoilt it, I’ll be off in the morning, you won’t have to deal—”

  “Shut up.” Joey instantly regretted his harsh words. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Look, it’s late, I can’t deal with this now. But one thing,” Joey said, putting as much sincerity into his voice as he could muster. “You aren’t damaged goods, you are not unworthy. Got that?”

  Kevin didn’t answer.

  “Hell, man,” Joey pulled Kevin onto his knee and gave him a tight squeeze. “You’re a fucking wonderful little bloke. But too much shit has gone on today, you’re still hurting from whatever Cal did to you, he was the one who hit you, right?”

  Kevin nodded against Joey’s shoulder.

  Joey had an irresistible urge to punch Briggs’ lights out. He forced himself to relax. “Listen, I really have to get some sleep.”

  Kevin made no move to disengage from their hug, and if he were honest, Joey didn’t want to be separated from Kevin.

  “Would you like to come and sleep in my bed tonight?” He felt Kevin’s body go rigid. “Just to sleep, nothing else. The idea of just sleeping without sex held a strange appeal. Joey didn’t know where the thought had come from, he’d never ‘just slept’ with a guy in, well, he didn’t know how long.

  After a long silence, Kevin nodded his head in agreement.

  Joey felt strangely elated. “You need the toilet first?”

  “Please, Sir.”

  Joey carried his pup to the bathroom, even watched him do his business, something that would normally have grossed him out, but not with Kevin. Then he scooped him up again, laid him on the bed, went back to the living room to retrieve the quilt, and then snuggled down in the bed with Kevin draped over his chest.

  * * * *

  “Well, look who it is!”

  Kevin turned to see Cal leaning against the doorpost at the front entrance of Parker’s Haulage, lazily chewing on a stick of gum.

  Joey had persuaded a reluctant Kevin to accompany him to work that morning, and ride with him in his cab.

  “Go away.” Kevin realised he sounded pathetic. Cal had always had a frightening effect on him.

  Cal laughed. “I’m not due out for another
ten minutes, I’m gonna take you round the back,” Cal pointed his thumb behind his left shoulder, “and you’re gonna get down on your knees to worship my prick.”

  Kevin felt a cold shudder run down his spine. He wanted to run away, but Cal was always able to send him into a state of immobility with a single look.

  “No thanks, I’m not interested.”

  Clearly Cal hadn’t thought Kevin would disobey. His left eyebrow almost disappeared into his mop of ginger curls. His mouth set into a hard line. Kevin, much as he wanted to look away, just couldn’t move. Cal pushed himself from the doorframe and slowly approached. Kevin’s heart began to beat faster, his knees turning to jelly.

  “What did you say?” Cal’s icy voice was barely above a whisper.

  “He said he wasn’t interested,” a louder voice announced from behind Cal.

  Spinning round, Cal saw Joey. “Hi, mate, didn’t know you were doing a run today.” His tone had changed from menacing to one of friendly deference.

  Fixing his gaze on Kevin, Joey said, “Go and get into the cab.” He tossed the keys to a still shaking Kevin, who dropped them.

  “But...” Kevin bent and picked up the keys.

  Joey’s expression hardened. “Pup.” His gaze wasn’t menacing, like the ones Cal used to use, but Kevin knew Joey wasn’t to be disobeyed.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  As Kevin limped away and rounded the corner of the building, the angry voices of Joey and Cal grew mercifully fainter.

  Climbing into Joey’s truck, Kevin looked round. It had been some time since he was inside a cab. Cal would never let him into his. The thing was actually quite spacious. He noted with some amusement that the interior was clean and uncluttered, which was surprising because Joey had admitted he didn’t keep his flat very tidy.

  “Right, we can get off now,” Joey said, opening the large door at the driver’s side.

  Glancing at Joey, Kevin was disturbed to see he’d been in a fight, his left eye showed some darkening bruises under it, and there was a trickle of blood oozing from his nose. Joey’s knuckles also showed signs of grazing.