by Drew Hunt
“I’ve never been a confident person,” Kevin said, breaking his silence. “At school I wasn’t athletic, I was always happiest if I was left alone and could sit in a corner and read a book. We used to have compulsory games, and when we were divided up into teams, I was always one of the last to get chosen.”
“Some of the bigger kids used to pick on me. Most of the time it was just name calling, but one or two would hit me when they found out I would never fight back. I used to stick around the teachers as much as I could, and if it got too bad, I would go and see the head of the lower school and tell him all about it. He was one of the few teachers I could trust, and he sort of took me under his wing. Of course the other kids called me a tattle-tale, and I suppose they were right. That sort of made me even less popular with the other kids, but so long as they left me alone, I didn’t care.”
“I only really had one friend at school. Though eventually he proved not to be.” Kevin shivered.
Joey leaned forward and kissed the top of Kevin’s head.
Kevin let out a ragged breath. “Ray was a lot bigger than me. We lived next door to each other, and I thought he was totally wonderful. Of course this made me blind to all of his faults. I kept a diary but I had to make sure it was hidden away, ’cause I used to write down all my thoughts, how I was unhappy at school and at home. I also used to confess my undying love for Ray, too.“
“One day, Ray was in my room, I went to answer the phone or something, and I must have left my diary on my desk.” Kevin sighed. “To cut a long and very painful story short, Ray read my diary, and stormed out of the house. He didn’t say anything for a few days, he kept avoiding me, I was panicking inside.”
“I think it was on the fourth day, Ray came up to me and told me that as I was a ‘fucking cock-sucking poofter’, I could suck on his cock. He whipped it out and forced me to my knees, and…and…you can probably guess the rest. He blackmailed me, if I didn’t perform sexual favours for him, he’d out me to the school and worst of all my parents. I stood it for months, Ray getting ever bolder and nastier as time went on.”
“The really sick thing was that I began to realise that I kind of liked it when he dominated me. I didn’t like all the horrible names he would call me, and the times he would hit me. But I suppose that was when I realised that I had a submissive personality.”
“But didn’t all the name calling and the other shit make you want to change your mind as to what you liked?”
“Yes, I suppose so. But I couldn’t help my attraction. I thought I was a freak or something. That didn’t help with my…I guess you’d call it my self-image. When you add on the fact that I’m small and not very attractive, it all added up to a pretty sorry mess. I didn’t think I’d ever find a boyfriend, a man who would love me how I needed to be loved. I didn’t think such a person could exist. Though that never stopped me from dreaming about some big strong guy lifting me up and taking me away from all my miseries. I dreamt of him pulling me up into his strong arms and somehow we’d ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after.” Kevin shook his head. “God, that’s so stupid and girly.”
Joey tightened his embrace. “No, Pup, it isn’t. And if you think about it, it’s kind of how we met.”
“Oh, trust me, Sir, I know, I still can’t believe it. That’s probably what set me off just now.”
“How’d you mean?”
“With you asking if I minded you carrying me and stuff. It was silly, I thought you were getting round to saying that you didn’t want to do it any more.”
“But, I…”
Kevin laid a hand on Joey’s chest. “I know. You weren’t meaning that at all.”
“Didn’t you say that your parents kicked you out for being gay?”
“Yes. When Ray moved away he left me with a parting gift. He told my family how I’d kept on bothering him, how I wanted to be queer with him.”
“The fucking bastard!”
“Yeah, that and a lot more.”
“Fortunately I’d made friends with Peter by this point, so I went to stay with him. He didn’t know Terry then.”
“You two never became boyfriends?” Joey asked, running a finger down Kevin’s spine, causing the younger man to shiver.
“He’s a great guy and everything, but he’s just…I don’t know…too intense. And of course he isn’t the type of dominant guy which I’m attracted to.”
“But you liking blokes like that, it’s not, well, you ended up with a real bastard.”
Kevin sighed. “I made some pretty stupid choices. I should have listened to Peter. He never liked Cal.”
“That’s something we agree on, then.”
“Yeah.”
“Pup, I’m glad you said you don’t like humiliation, because although I’ve kind of played those sorts of games with a few blokes, I never really got into it. It seemed so false, it’s just not me.”
Although Kevin knew Joey would never abuse him, he was relieved to know his lover wouldn’t want to be like that with him. Kevin had always been curious, and maybe a little disturbed by Joey’s sexual past. He wondered if he dare pursue the subject.
Because he felt safe being held in Joey’s arms, he got up enough courage to ask. “Um, you had, um, well…” Kevin ground to a halt.
“What?”
“Nothing, it’s none of my business.” Kevin’s tiny bit of courage had deserted him. He wished now he’d not brought it up. His sir’s past was his own affair, and maybe Kevin was better off not knowing.
“Do you want to know about my past? I suppose it’s a fair enough thing to ask.”
“Um, well, it’s not really any of my business.”
Joey gave Kevin another squeeze. “Of course it’s your business. I don’t want to have any secrets from the man I love.”
Kevin couldn’t help but feel all warm and tingly inside at Joey’s words.
“It’s true I’ve slept with a lot of men, a few women too.”
“Really?” Kevin wasn’t expecting to hear that. He raised himself up and looked into Joey’s eyes.
Joey moved his hands up Kevin’s spine and rested them on the back of his head. Exerting slight pressure, Joey guided Kevin’s lips to his own. After they disengaged, Joey smiled at Kevin’s expression of total contentment.
“Fucking a bird never did anything for me. But when I started messing about with other boys, I knew I’d found what I liked. But I suppose even then there was something missing, but until I met and fell in love with you, I didn’t know what that missing piece was.”
Kevin was in danger of bursting into tears.
“Yes, I’ve had a lot of men in my bed. I see now that I used them just to get off. But until you fell at my feet.” Joey grinned. “I thought that was how it was meant to be. I didn’t feel anything for any of them. They were just a tight hole to shove my dick into. And,” Joey squeezed Kevin again, “I’m ashamed to say I didn’t much care if they got any pleasure from the experience. I suppose some must have, ’cause they wanted to give me their phone number and stuff, but I was never interested. Once I’d had them I didn’t want a return match. God, that makes me sound like a right bastard.”
“No, Sir.”
“Sorry, Pup, but I was. There’s no getting away from it, I was a slut.”
Kevin felt Joey shiver. It couldn’t have been easy for this big macho man to admit such a painful thing. Kevin decided he’d show his sir he’d made the right choice to concentrate on loving just one man.
“Please, Sir. I want you to just lie here and let me worship you. When we’ve made love in the past, it’s always been you doing all the giving, and trust me,” Kevin stared deeply into his lover’s eyes, “that means the whole world to me. But I need to show you, Sir, how much I need to love you back.”
“You saying you wanna be on top?”
Kevin flushed. “Oh, no, Sir! Sorry, I didn’t mean that, not at all.”
“Why not?”
“Huh? It wouldn’t be,
well, um, proper.” Kevin just couldn’t imagine the idea. It was just…wrong.
Joey opened his mouth a couple of times, but nothing came out. Then eventually he said, “Pup, I want you to take my cherry.”
Kevin gasped. “But, Sir, it isn’t, well, it isn’t right.”
“Kevin, look at me.”
Kevin was surprised Joey had addressed him by his proper name, he rarely did so.
“Do you love me?”
“Sir, I love you with my whole heart.”
Joey nodded. “And I love you just as much. So why shouldn’t you show me by fucking me?”
Kevin didn’t answer. He couldn’t.
“Pup?”
“I, well I don’t think I’m ready yet, Sir. I’ve never topped, and I’m scared that I’d disappoint you.”
Joey pressed Kevin to his chest. “You sweet, wonderful, beautiful man! You could never disappoint me. Everything you’ve ever done for me you’ve always put me first and yourself second, haven’t you?”
“That’s how it should be. You’re superior, I have to serve you.”
Joey sighed. “I don’t get all this dominant submissive shit. It’s true I’ve got a forceful personality, but I just couldn’t do the sorts of things you like doing.”
“I wouldn’t want you to, Sir, I’d be too uncomfortable.”
“Yeah, well. I’ve learned, thanks to you, that if I concentrate on giving you pleasure when we make love, I get a shit load more pleasure back. As I said, before I met you, I’d just concentrate on getting my rocks off, I wasn’t bothered if the other guy came.”
“Sir, I hear what you say, but I…well…I dunno if I could be on top with you, you’re so…so powerful, big, strong.” Kevin found he couldn’t fully identify why the idea didn’t appeal to him. Maybe he was a natural bottom.
Joey sighed. “Okay, I can see that we’ll have to work on this some more. I could order you to fuck me, but I know that’d not work.”
Kevin was relieved.
Shifting a little, Joey said, “If I’m honest, I don’t think I’m ready to let you top me quite yet.” Turning Kevin’s chin so they were eye to eye, Joey continued, “But there’ll be a time when I’ll need you to do it, and because you love me, you’ll do it.” Sliding Kevin up his body, Joey brought their faces level. Kevin gratefully surrendered to Joey’s oral dominance, willingly opening his mouth and letting Joey inside of him, so he could claim what was rightfully his. “God, you make me so fucking hot.”
“I can feel it,” Kevin said, rubbing Joey’s erection with his leg.
“Didn’t you say you were gonna let me lie here while you took care of me?”
With all the talk of topping, Kevin had forgotten about that. “Yes, Sir.” Kevin sprang up and went in search of the massage oil. The thought of being able to have an unimpeded touch tour of his lover’s beautifully muscled frame caused Kevin to bone up.
“Best use a towel I suppose,” Joey said, getting up to find one.
Turning on the hot tap, Kevin warmed the oil before carrying it over to the prone figure of his sir.
With hands shaking slightly from the amazing privilege of being allowed to touch the naked flesh of his protector, Kevin began. He marvelled at the broadness of Joey’s shoulders. Kevin’s hands glided down Joey’s back, tracing the lines of striated muscle as they narrowed towards Joey’s trim waist. He had to use plenty of oil because Joey’s ample pelt seemed to soak it up. Previously Kevin had thought a hairy back would be a turn off, but on his studly sir, it was wonderful.
Knowing Joey had enjoyed it the last time he had his arse played with, Kevin decided to pay special attention to that area. Like the rest of his body, Joey’s glutes were full and firm. He didn’t have a bubble butt; however, Kevin decided, that wouldn’t look right on such a manly frame. Parting the firm mounds, Kevin began to run his oily fingers along Joey’s crack, causing the bigger man to moan. Taking Joey’s groans for approval, Kevin centred his massage on the virgin hole. He still couldn’t face the idea of penetrating that ring with his average sized penis That would be…The only word Kevin could come up with was sacrilegious. Joey was a top, and an accomplished one at that. When he made love to Kevin, the younger man knew it was love and not sex. Joey had staying power, he had strength which Kevin knew he’d only felt the tip of. Joey had the power to pound him into the ground if he so wished. But the fact that he’d always held back proved to Kevin that Joey was putting his partner’s needs before his own.
Kevin had just reached Joey’s tree-trunk thighs, and was adding yet more oil to reduce the friction, when Joey’s mobile phone began to ring, causing Joey to swear under his breath.
“Sir?” Kevin paused his massage.
“It better be bloody important,” Joey said, lifting himself up and reaching for his jacket. “Jerry, what the fuck you want? I’m not due in for another couple of hours.”
Kevin winced, there was no way he could address Mr Parker like that.
“What?”
There was silence as Joey listened to whatever Mr Parker was saying.
“Fuck! Isn’t there anyone else?”
Joey’s right hand, the one not holding the phone, gripped the sheets, his annoyance clearly showing on his face.
“You were always too tight-fisted to insure us all.”
After pulling a few more unpleasant faces, Joey said, “Yeah, yeah.” Joey then shook his head, “This is bloody short notice.”
Kevin hoped Joey wouldn’t have to leave straight away; the two of them had been together for less than an hour.
“But I’ve got plans over the next couple of days.”
Kevin started in alarm. Next couple of days? Surely Joey wouldn’t be gone for an extended period. His distress must have shown on his face, because Joey wrapped a comforting arm around him and gave him a sideways hug.
“Okay, I’ll do the run on one condition.”
As Joey listened, his eyes began to grow steely. Kevin knew this spelled trouble.
“Kevin goes with me. He’s on sick, so it’s not as if he’ll be missing work.”
The voice at the other end grew louder, but Kevin was still unable to make out what Mr Parker was saying.
“Take it or leave it. Those are my terms.”
As the phone conversation progressed, a smile steadily began to creep across Joey’s face. Eventually Joey said, “Okay, Jerry, we’ll be there in an hour.”
Joey broke the connection and turned to Kevin, pulling him onto his lap. “You got a passport, Pup?”
“Uh?”
“Seems Tyler’s let a customer down at the last minute, and they got on to Jerry asking if we could take a consignment of tinned food over to Holland. As Parker is too tight-fisted to insure us all for driving in Europe, I’m the only one who can take the load, so I told him I’d only go if you could go with me. He didn’t like having to cough up for a second berth on the ferry, but I knew, and he knew I knew, that I had him by the bollocks.” Joey rubbed his hands.
Kevin’s mind tried to process all the new information it had been given.
“So?”
“Huh?” Kevin looked up at Joey’s expression as it quickly changed from happy to frustrated.
“Do you have a passport?”
“Oh, uh, yeah, sorry.”
“Good, that’s settled then. Pack a bag for two nights.” Joey moved Kevin from his lap, stood up, grabbed a towel as well as a bar of soap, and made for the door.
“But, I…”
Joey spun round, his hand on the lock. “There’s no fucking way I’m going to be without you for the next two nights. So come on, get moving. I need to take a quick shower before we go. If we’re gonna make the ferry, we’ve got to be on the road in less than an hour.”
“I don’t know if…” Kevin reached up to touch his face.
Joey shook his head. “You were okay at the fireworks last night, and every day it looks better. No one will say anything, I won’t let them.” Joey pumped his biceps. “
And besides, I wanna get you used to going out in public, because,” Joey lifted Kevin’s chin so they were eye-to-eye, “this Friday I’m taking you on a proper date. We’re going to The Black Bear.”
“Sir, I don’t know.” Kevin had been there with Cal. The place didn’t hold particularly good memories.
Joey shook his head and in a much softer voice, one which Kevin could never resist, said, “You’re mine now, remember? And I promise you’ll be safe.”
Kevin let go the breath he’d been holding. The thought of going out on a real date with his sir began to seep into his mind. He found he rather liked the idea.
“’Cause all the bottoms, and some of the wannabe tops will hate your guts, ’cause you’ll be with the best guy there.” Joey smirked.
Kevin walked into Joey’s open arms. “You’re the best guy anywhere.”
“Now come on, we better get a move on.”
Joey turned the lock, Kevin realising they were both still naked. All the other times they’d walked across the hallway without clothes, it had been in the late evening, but there was bound to be quite a few people knocking around at that time of day.
“Please, Sir. Please.” Kevin employed his best puppy dog expression. To his relief, Joey consented to allow them both to wrap towels around themselves before heading out.
* * * *
The view from the passenger seat of Joey’s cab was great. And not just the exterior scenery, either, Kevin smiled to himself. Joey looked so right sitting there in the driver’s seat, his leather jacket over the back of his chair, the sleeves of his checked cotton shirt rolled up to the elbows. Kevin watched the sinews in Joey’s forearm flex whenever he had to shift gears.
“What?” Joey asked when they’d got underway; obviously he’d felt Kevin’s eyes on him.
“Nothing, Sir.”
“Don’t ‘nothing, Sir’ me,” Joey said, a note of annoyance in his voice.
At first Kevin recoiled, but then remembered he could always be honest with his sir, and didn’t have to fear the consequences.
“It’s silly.” Going on quickly, so as not to piss Joey off, Kevin said, “Well, Sir, you sitting there, it’s like you’re on your throne or something.” Kevin felt his cheeks beginning to redden.