by Drew Hunt
Joey took his eyes off the road for a second and gave Kevin a You flipped your lid? look.
“I mean, you sit there controlling a huge lorry, it just looks right.” Kevin closed his mouth and looked away, knowing he’d made a total prat of himself.
Feeling Joey squeezing his knee, Kevin looked up to see a broad smile on his lover’s face. “You’re right, Pup. Ever since I was a nipper I wanted to drive a lorry. Used to wind up mum, still does,” he chuckled. “Something about being out on the open road, the freedom, and like you said, the power. Though I’ve never thought of this,” he pointed to his seat, “as my throne.”
“Uh, yeah, sorry.”
“S'okay, Pup. I kinda like the idea.”
The two kept up a steady dialogue until Joey pulled into the loading bay of a tinned goods warehouse. He had to reverse the lorry round a corner. Kevin stayed quiet as he watched his awesome lover deftly manoeuvre his huge vehicle.
Once the air brakes stopped hissing, Joey sat back in his seat for a second with his eyes closed. Kevin didn’t move a muscle. Then without warning Joey snapped his eyes open, undid his seatbelt, unlocked his door and jumped out of the cab. Before Kevin could undo his own seatbelt, Joey had walked round the cab, and had opened the door at Kevin’s side.
Joey insisted on helping Kevin down. Kevin put up a token protest, he could manage. A stern look from Joey soon ended the discussion, however.
When they walked into the warehouse, Joey turned to Kevin and said, “You stay there, and don’t move.” He pointed to a spot just inside the large double doors. “These guys will start coming out of here like bats out of hell in a minute, and they might not see you.”
Joey walked off, leaving Kevin bristling at being treated like a little kid. He could remember his dad telling him things like that when he was eight years old. Kevin had half a mind to go exploring, just to prove he could get about without Joey holding his hand.
Kevin soon grew bored. It seemed to take forever for the men to load the lorry. They hadn’t been ready for them, a fact which pissed Joey off. As time passed, Joey looked at his watch more frequently, becoming increasingly agitated, which eventually turned to anger. Kevin didn’t like to see his sir like this. It was all too reminiscent of Cal.
When Joey decided to pitch in and help load, Kevin moved from his spot and offered to help as well.
“No, you’d just get in the way,” Joey said, turning away and dismissing him.
Kevin slunk round to the front of the lorry and climbed into the passenger’s seat. He wished he’d not come now. What had been a great ride as far as the warehouse had turned sour. Kevin tried to rationalise that Joey was stressed, that was why he’d snapped at him, but however he looked at it, he kept thinking some of it must be his fault. Maybe if he apologised to Joey when they set off, things could get back to how they’d been. After the lorry had been loaded and all the required papers signed, Joey swung himself into the cab, a thunderous look on his face. Kevin chickened out and remained silent. He jumped when Joey brought his fist down on the steering wheel and began swearing. Kevin was reminded of Cal once again. Whenever anything didn’t go his way, Cal would start hitting things, including Kevin.
Joey fired up the engine and pulled away from the factory. Kevin could tell from the way Joey was holding his body and grinding his teeth, he was still angry. Mercifully he didn’t start swearing again. Kevin looked over at the speed gauge. Joey was driving at just over the legal limit, which added to Kevin’s unease. This was another thing that Cal used to do. Closing his eyes, Kevin willed the journey to be over. For the first time since they’d met, Kevin wasn’t sure about Joey. He replayed in his head all the times his sir had told him that he loved him, how he’d never hurt him. That helped, but…Kevin had spent too many years treading on egg-shells around a man who could explode with anger with little or no provocation. Remembering the deep breathing exercises his psychiatrist had taught him, Kevin willed himself to relax. The drone and vibration of the lorry’s engine—combined with the fact he hadn’t slept well the previous night—lulled Kevin into an uneasy sleep.
The hiss of the air brakes roused Kevin from his doze. He kept his eyes closed, thinking it safer to pretend to be asleep just in case Joey was still in a bad mood. He knew that would depend on whether they’d reached the port on time.
Hearing Joey getting out of his side of the cab, Kevin cracked his eyes open and watched his sir’s arse as it disappeared below the level of his view. Kevin prayed Joey would come to his side of the cab and help him down. He realised the irony of his thoughts, he’d grumbled at Joey for offering him assistance when they’d arrived at the warehouse. But now, if Joey would only come round, it would show Kevin that he loved him, was sorry for how he’d behaved, and…
Kevin lay curled up on the seat and waited. All he could hear was the odd diesel engine go by, the cry of a seagull, or the occasional shout from a dockworker. But of Joey, there was no sign.
Kevin couldn’t help the sob which escaped his throat. He tried to rationalise, maybe he’d gone to register their load, book in, or whatever, but why didn’t he take his man with him? Why did he tell Kevin to stay out of the way at the loading dock? And why did he so gruffly turn down the offer of help when they needed to get loaded up? Kevin just didn’t know.
The click of the door catch at his side made Kevin jump, but he still thought it wise to pretend to be sleeping. The door opened wider, Kevin could smell the salt-laden breeze as it blew across his face.
“Pup?” Joey softly asked.
Kevin didn’t move. He felt the heat of Joey’s body as he leaned over him. Next Kevin felt Joey smoothing back his fringe before he detected Joey’s lips as he laid the most tender of kisses on his forehead.
“I’m sorry.” Joey whispered.
Kevin cracked his eyes open and looked up at the concerned expression on his lover’s face. “Please, Sir, I don’t know…” he swallowed, “I don’t know what I did wrong.”
“Pup.” Joey unhooked Kevin’s seatbelt and lifted him so he was sitting on the edge of the seat, his legs dangling over the side. Moving in, Joey kissed Kevin softly on the lips. “You did absolutely nothing wrong.” Joey stroked Kevin’s cheeks. “It was all my fault. I got so wound up over this last minute job, I forgot what was really important.”
From his elevated position, Kevin was able to look down at Joey, who stood on the tarmac, wringing his hands.
“And you are the most important.”
“I didn’t understand why you made me stand aside back at the warehouse, and why, you…” Kevin’s emotions were starting to overwhelm him.
“The floor in that place wasn’t even, and I could just see a racing fork-lift truck losing its load and falling on you.” Joey grasped Kevin’s hands in his own much larger ones. “That was the reason for that, but I should have explained. As for my later behaviour, the only explanation I can give is that I was stressed. Which wasn’t helped by those dozy buggers pratting about and not being ready for us. If we make this delivery on time, there’s a good chance we might get the regular contract.”
Kevin felt much better. He was beginning to think he’d over-reacted and behaved like a little kid who’d sulked because he hadn’t received the attention he thought was due to him.
“Well, if it isn’t young Joseph running late again,” a man called out as he approached the cab. Kevin watched the bearded middle-aged man as he took hold of Joey’s upper arm and gave it a squeeze. “And may I say you look fucking hunky in that shirt.” Kevin felt his eyebrows rising. “Does it mean you’re back in circulation? I never thought you could be monogamous for long with your—”
“Ted!” Joey cut in. “This is Kevin, he’s come on the run with me today, and no, I’m not back in circulation.” Stepping up into the cab, Joey picked Kevin up and gently lifted him out. He didn’t release Kevin when he reached the ground. “Not when I’ve got the most precious man in my life.” Joey kissed Kevin on the lips.
&nb
sp; Kevin thought he was going to burst into tears. Though Joey had often declared his love for him, he’d never done so in front of anyone else. Nor had he kissed Kevin in front of anyone else. Why had he doubted his sir, how could he have doubted his sir? Kevin began to feel unworthy.
Almost instinctively Joey seemed to know what Kevin was thinking. “Don’t go there, Pup. You’re mine, I’m yours, full stop,” he said, gazing lovingly into his eyes.
Kevin opened his mouth, but couldn’t find anything to say, so closed it again.
“You must be the famous Kevin,” Ted said, breaking their private moment. “Jesus knows how you managed to tame this one. He’s had, um, well…” Ted cleared his throat.
“It’s okay, Kevin knows what sort of a past I’ve had, don’t you, Pup?” Joey said, setting Kevin on the ground, never breaking eye contact with him.
“Yes, Sir.” Kevin’s cup of joy was in serious danger of overflowing.
Ted cleared his throat again, “I suppose we best get you loaded up.” He shifted his feet uncomfortably.
Kevin tried to stifle a giggle. Joey and Ted had probably played around with one another, and if Kevin wasn’t very much mistaken, Ted still carried a torch for his sir. A surge of pride and even smugness began to flow through Kevin. He could feel his chest puffing out. Joey was his, and he’d just reiterated the fact, too.
* * * *
After walking up several flights of stairs and along a bewildering maze of narrow corridors, they finally reached their cabin. Joey inserted the key and pushed open the door, but before Kevin could step inside, Joey picked his man up and romantically carried him over the threshold.
“Like it?” Joey asked, setting Kevin down in the middle of the room. “This is what they call a special cabin. Basically that means we don’t have to share a pisser with the other passengers.”
Inwardly Kevin winced. Joey was a complex mixture of romance and down to earth crudeness, but he knew he wouldn’t have his sir any other way. He also suspected old Parker wouldn’t have shelled out for anything other than a basic cabin, so the extra must have come out of Joey’s own pocket.
After scanning the small, narrow and rather Spartan room, Kevin turned to Joey. “It’s great, Sir, thank you.”
“Our own little love nest, aye?” That old familiar glint was back in Joey’s eyes.
Kevin looked up and smiled. He was grateful to have his loving and slightly playful sir back.
“We’ve just got time to clean up and get changed before dinner,” Joey said, reaching for the zipper on Kevin’s leather jacket.
Obviously Joey was going to undress him, and if Kevin was any judge, they’d get a little loving, in too. Kevin’s smile widened.
Chapter 12
Joey had been eagerly anticipating the call for dinner. From previous trips across the North Sea, he knew the ferries provided one hell of a good feed. Throughout the meal, he could tell Kevin was happy, if a little subdued. He guessed the man sat opposite him—stealing loving glances whenever he thought Joey wasn’t looking—hadn’t had that many happy times.
As he returned the smiles, Joey recalled some of the things Kevin had told him as the pair had lain in bed that morning. The man had quaked with fear that he was going to be rejected. It had caused something deep inside Joey to hurt at seeing his pup so torn up. If only he could understand what a terrific bloke he really is, Joey mused as he laid down his knife and fork, his appetite now somewhat blunted.
Joey’s heart ached at how off-hand and cold he’d been when the lorry was being loaded. A part of him rebelled at Kevin for being so high maintenance. Where had he heard that phrase before? Then he remembered, Kevin had used it about himself. Joey squelched his inner voice. That was the old him talking. The new caring Joey rallied. It was hardly surprising Kevin was so needful given what he’d gone through. Hell, Joey thought, I don’t know how he’s managed to survive all the hatred, abuse and mental torture that he’s faced.
Reaching under the table, Joey grasped Kevin’s hand and gave it a light squeeze. Once they’d locked eyes, Joey projected all the love and affection he could. He wouldn’t have cared if they’d held hands in plain sight, but he knew such a display would have freaked Kevin, and Joey wanted this trip to be as good for his pup as he could make it.
Kevin treated Joey to a shy, but nonetheless grateful smile.
“Do you want a pudding?” Joey asked, still staring deep into those brown pools of life.
“Um, I don’t know. I’m a bit full.”
“You’ve hardly eaten anything.”
Kevin dipped his head and murmured, “I wasn’t that hungry.”
Joey was going to insist Kevin go up and choose a sweet from the large number on offer, he’d had his eye on a particularly nice looking strawberry layer cake, but he remembered this was to be Kevin’s special time. “Okay, we’ll just have to have something in our room later,” Joey said, winking at Kevin, who promptly blushed.
It’s just too easy to embarrass him, Joey thought, getting to his feet, Kevin immediately doing the same.
Joey decided they’d have a drink in the bar, hoping alcohol would loosen Kevin up a little. However, when he was asked what he wanted, Kevin said he’d just have a glass of Coke.
Walking back from the bar, Joey set their drinks on the table. Bringing his seat closer to Kevin’s, he thought it wise to warn his lover that he’d asked the barmaid to put a rum in the Coke.
Kevin looked as though he was going to protest, but this soon changed to acceptance when Joey stared at him.
After Kevin took a tentative sip, Joey asked, “Is it okay? I’ll go and get you a Coke on its own if you’d rather.”
Kevin smiled. “It’s actually quite nice, thank you, Sir.”
As the evening progressed, Joey began to fidget. He had an unbearable urge to put his arm around Kevin’s waist and give him a hug. Instead he contented himself by treating Kevin to a series of loving glances, combined with the occasional squeeze of his leg under the table. Kevin basked in the attention paid to him. Joey couldn’t wait until Friday, when he would take his man to the gay pub in town where they could be openly affectionate with one another. The management of The Black Bear was pretty liberal where public displays of affection were concerned, only drawing the line at outright sex. Joey grinned, thinking how hot it would be if he and Kevin could get it on in one of the booths. However, the resultant stiffening in his jeans served only to increase his discomfort.
A pianist began to play soft jazz in the background. It was a bit chintzy for Joey’s taste, but Kevin seemed to enjoy it, so Joey settled back and tried to take pleasure in it as well.
The two spoke occasionally, but neither man felt the need to fill the silences. The alcohol had its intended effect on Kevin, who became less reserved. However, he grew increasingly uncomfortable when a group of men in their mid-thirties started to raise their voices and generally make nuisances of themselves. Remembering all this was for Kevin’s benefit, Joey asked if his lover wanted to go back to their cabin, reminding him that they had an early start the next morning. Kevin eagerly agreed.
As there were few people in the passageways, Joey casually slung his arm over Kevin’s shoulder, the younger man initially tensed, but soon relaxed and leaned into the embrace.
“Look, lads, we’ve got a couple of fucking fairies on this ferry.”
Joey spun round to see a group of three youths in their early twenties laughing at the joke. He was all set to make something of it, they didn’t look as though they would be much of a match for him, but before he could make a move, he looked down at Kevin’s horror filled expression, and knew what he had to do.
Cupping Kevin’s face in his hands, Joey bent down and delivered a passionate kiss to Kevin’s lips.
He then glanced up to see the stunned expressions on the faces of the threesome and said, “Damn right I’m a fucking fairy, and I’m fucking proud of it.”
Joey took hold of Kevin’s hand and quickly led him aw
ay. However, he realised he was squeezing Kevin’s hand tightly, and no doubt painfully. He made a conscious effort to relax and slow his steps. Once they reached their cabin, Joey made sure the door was locked before wrapping Kevin up in his arms.
“I’m sorry, Pup. It was my fault, if I hadn’t had my arm round you, they wouldn’t have said what they did.”
“I…” Kevin closed his mouth, then tried again, “I thought you were going to hit them or something.”
“Yeah,” Joey sighed, “I did, too. But then I realised what was important.” Nodding at Kevin, he said, “I know you hate violence, so I came good on my promise to always love and protect you. I put that before my need to want to pound those pillocks’ heads in. But,” Joey knew his eyes had grown steely, “if they’d have laid so much as a finger on you, I’d have fucking decked the lot of ’em.”
Kevin shivered. “But there was three of them, Sir.”
“Don’t care.”
Knowing he needed to relax Kevin and get him thinking happy thoughts, Joey guided his lover towards the beds. He lifted him up and sat him on the top bunk, leaving his legs dangling over the side. Joey then began to unlace Kevin’s shoes.
“Sir?”
“Yeah?” Joey looked up from his task to see a troubled expression on Kevin’s face.
“I don’t think this is, um, well, it’s not proper.”
Joey was momentarily puzzled. Then the penny dropped. “I’m the one in charge, right?”
Kevin nodded.
“So what I say, goes. And I wanna make you feel good, make you feel special.” Pulling Kevin’s left trainer off, he continued, “And, to me you’re special. So I’m going to do this, okay?”
Joey then set to removing Kevin’s socks, before reaching up to unbutton the waistband of his jeans. Kevin had to lift his bottom to allow Joey to pull down both his jeans and underwear.
Raising his arms higher, Joey made quick work of divesting Kevin of his jumper and T-Shirt. Stepping back, Joey stared at the naked man in front of him. Shaking his head, he whispered, “Fucking perfect.”