This is Living (Living #1.5)

by Melody Dawn

  “I know. And that’s why I’m going to make a change. I just needed to talk to someone about it and hear that I’m not crazy for changing specialties this far in the game.”

  “You know I’m always here for you as well as my wisdom…after all I’m older and wiser.”

  “Ok, Yoda, I’ll remember that.”

  Switching to a more serious tone, I thank him for the talk and tell him I’ll let him know what happens. We hang up and I contemplate Connor’s advice.

  With his words ringing in my mind, I dial a familiar number...Methodist Hospital's Chief of Residents.

  His secretary patches me through to him and when he hears it’s me, what he says floors me. “I’ve been waiting to hear from you, Jayson. I trust you have something important to tell me.”

  Why would he be expecting to hear something important from me? As far as he knows, I’m calling about being sick.

  When I ask him, he says, “Son, I’ve been a doctor longer than you’ve been alive. I know the signs of burnout and you’ve got them. Now, I’m not saying it’s affecting your job…in fact it’s the opposite. I’m known for being a hardass, but I watch out for my residents. You don’t call and complain like some of the others in your program and you always work extra, so for you to call me it has to be important. And let’s just say that I have eyes and ears all over the hospital…one of them being Susan.”

  Thinking of Susan making me call my mother causes me to grit my teeth in frustration. I still can’t believe she did that to me. And the Chief knows about it…I feel like a fucking idiot. I start to say something and then decide to let it go; what good will it do to rehash it?

  For the next several minutes, we discuss the ramifications of changing from the ER to Peds, how much longer I will have to remain a resident, and the biggest thing: taking a leave of absence.

  After I have the information I need, I tell him that I will let him know as soon as Chloe and I reach a decision. He also gives me two more days off due to me having the flu. I don’t argue; I know my body is run down and I need the time to recuperate and for Chloe and I to make some life-altering decisions.

  Trying to decide when I’m going to talk to her about it, the door opens and when I see her loving smile, I know there’s no time like the present.

  Although I’ve got something else planned for her first.

  Driving up to Ava and Phillip’s house, I’ve got butterflies in my stomach. Jayson thinks that I went with his mom to take the twins to the park to play, but I’ve actually been out getting “the works” as I like to call them. You know: a mani/pedi, stone massage, and waxing.

  I helped Ava put the boys into their car seats and as I was about to get in the car myself, she stopped me and said, “No, you’re not coming with us. I’m not going to the park. Maddie wants me to bring them over to her house and Phillip and I are going to eat dinner with them.”

  Then she handed me a gift certificate and said, “And you are going to the spa.”

  Not understanding, I just said, “That’s ok, I can do it another time. But, thank you so much for thinking of me.”

  Of course, being Ava, she rolled her eyes and said, “Jayson is feeling better and the house will be empty until later tonight. Go to the spa and when you’re done, go see your husband. And by see, I mean…”

  Feeling torn about the boys, I look from them to her. I don’t want to seem like a selfish person and leave them at the drop of a hat.

  She grabs me up in a hug and whispers, “It’s ok to not be a mom for a few hours. Go and spoil yourself. Then go to him. Both of you need some time to be Jayson and Chloe, not Dr. Reece and mom, if you understand what I mean.”

  With her words on a loop in my mind, I open the door to Jayson’s room expecting for him to be asleep, but instead he’s sitting up on the side of the bed grinning at me. Thank goodness he’s at least wearing a pair of sleep pants this time. Putting my bags down, I rush over to him.

  “You look so much better, baby.”

  He gives me that patented Reece smirk that has been working on girls since he was Brendon and Braxton’s age and says, “I feel better, too. Much better.”

  Uh huh, I know right where this is leading.

  With a fake stern expression, I tell him, “No way, mister. You’ve only been fever free since last night.”

  Of course, a hurt expression immediately crosses his face, which makes me focus on his mouth. His very talented mouth….

  Freaking pregnancy hormones…I’m about to go off at the drop of a hat and he’s still mostly sick. I have to remember that. Right? Someone tell me that I’m right before I attack his sexy body.

  I close my eyes at my internal struggle and so I don’t see him. Because that’s the only way I can convince myself not to take advantage of a sick man. I know Ava said he’s feeling better, but I still worry it’s too soon.

  Does he make things better? No, not at all. Instead he says in his growly turned on voice, “Why are your eyes closed? Come over here and lie down with me. We don’t have to do anything.”

  Lies, people…all lies!

  I know that look and that tone of voice and if I make one move over to where he is, clothes are going to start flying off.

  I open my eyes and say, “Ok, But I’m only coming over there to lie down. Got that?” I’m such a faker. If only he could read my thoughts.

  He doesn’t say a word; he just gives me an extremely wicked smile. I’m so screwed. Yay.

  “Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” Noticing that his hair is damp and the scent of his body wash is in the air, I ask, “Did you take a shower?”

  “Yes and I feel fine.

  With a laugh he says, “I also changed the sheets and put germ gel on my lips.”

  Something is definitely going on. I’m starting to wonder if he planned this with Ava, especially since he hasn’t asked where she or the boys are. Nor does he seem to be worried about anyone being in the house.

  I smile and shake my head at his ridiculous comment aimed at my germ phobia and decide the time for joking is over. If he says he’s ok, I’m going for it.

  I want him and not just because of hormones. I need to feel that connection between us and to know that nothing can break it.

  Locking the bedroom door, I walk to him unbuttoning my shirt as I go. By the time I reach him, I’m standing in my bra and yoga pants. Without saying a word, I push them down and step out until I’m standing before him in my bra and panties.

  The way he’s looking at me with so much love and heat in his eyes makes me wonder how I could have ever believed he would be unfaithful to me.

  “Turn around.”

  My whole body shivers at the command in his voice. I turn and wait to see what happens next. He opens the clasp of my bra and I let it drop to the ground.

  Not saying a word, he traces the length of my spine until he reaches my panties. I feel goosebumps follow the path of his fingers yet I’m not cold. Instead it feels like I’m being branded.

  Expecting him to just remove my panties, he gives each cheek a squeeze. A tremor goes through me and I say, “Jayson, please…”

  I feel the sting of a swat across my ass and the throbbing between my legs grows almost too much to bear. Clenching my thighs together, I steady myself to see what his next move will be.

  He kisses the place he just spanked and then places his hands on my hips, pulling my panties down until they reach my ankles.

  “Step out.”

  Another command…and my body reacts the same way it did before.

  I feel him stand up behind me and moving my hair away from my right shoulder, he places soft kisses along my collarbone. I turn my head to give him more access.

  Reaching my ear, he sucks my earlobe into his mouth and then releases it.

  “I’m going to fuck you until neither of us knows where the other one ends or begins,” he growls in my ear.

  If it’s possible to orgasm to the sound of a voice, I think I just did.
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  Turning me around to face him, he places a palm on the side of my face and begins feathering soft kisses slowly along my lips. It’s too much and at the same time, it’s not enough.

  As he does this, feelings of love and need wash through my body. A tear slips out of my eye and hits the hand that is holding my face. He stops and looks down at me with a question on his lips, but I shake my head no; I don’t think I can put my feelings into words.

  Neither of us say anything, he just wipes the tear from my cheek, kisses my eyelids, and then back down to my lips.

  Suddenly he picks me up and backs up to the bed where he sits with me in his lap. Our kisses grow deeper and he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth.

  Biting down gently then soothing it with his tongue, I open my mouth for him to deepen the kiss. He pushes his tongue into my mouth and our tongues tangle together.

  I need more…right now. Shifting off of his lap until my legs are spread across his hips, I push him back onto the bed, our lips never leaving each other.

  My breasts press into his chest and with each movement, my nipples harden tighter than I thought possible. Every sensation seems more intense than ever.

  I want to feel him everywhere. Pulling back, I say, “Your pants…take them off. I need you.”

  He flips us and stands quickly to push his pants down. His beautiful cock is standing at attention and I reach for him. I want to feel him in me. I want his body to cover me, pressing me into the bed, surrounding me…

  For a moment I’m confused when he lies down behind me and I feel his cock pressed against the small of my back. Then I realize what he’s doing. He knows my favorite position is spooning and he always uses it when he wants more than just a physical connection.

  Rolling me to my side, his hand comes around to cup my breast. He rolls my nipple and pinches until I’m panting. Turning my head to the side, he kisses me until I’m breathless all while sliding his hand down to my pussy. He circles my clit, never touching it, and each pass makes me grow wetter.

  Finally, he slides two fingers into me and I can’t help the moans that escape my mouth. My hips start moving in rhythm with his fingers and I try to find the pace I need for the orgasm I feel building deep in my core.

  Because he knows exactly what I need, he starts talking.

  “There you go, baby. Fuck my fingers. I can feel you’re close. Let go.”

  “Please, I need...,” I cry out.

  Before I can get the rest of the words out, his fingers slide into me and his thumb strokes across my clit. Instantly, I come with waves of pleasure rolling through my body while screaming his name.

  It feels fantastic, but I want more.

  “Jayson, I want you inside me…now.”

  With my body still sensitive from the recent orgasm, he rolls me to where I’m almost on my stomach and pushes his cock between my legs. I feel him at my entrance and bear down to get him to enter me.

  He leans over me with his hand next to my head and begins pushing into me. His body presses me into the bed and with each thrust his cock fills me. I’m pushing back against him and desperation builds between us.

  “You’re mine…do you hear me? No one else will ever touch you”

  This is what I need from him…to stake his claim on me. And now I have to give him what he needs…reassurance.

  I feel another orgasm about to overtake me and as he pushes back into me, I cry out, “Yes, no one else, but you.”

  Hearing my words, he pinches my clit while slamming into me and we both explode.

  For a moment we lie there with him leaning over me and his cock buried deep. Finally, he lies back behind me with us still connected both physically and emotionally.

  Stroking my back, he says quietly, but with the same intensity, “I’ll always be yours. I don’t want to ever touch another woman in this lifetime. I knew it when I saw you 9 years ago and I feel even stronger today than I did back then.

  Tears roll down my face, but they’re happy tears. He’s giving me back what I thought we had lost…the spark we’ve shared for years. Only we didn’t lose it, we just needed to fan the flames to bring it back to life.

  We hold each other until finally he slips out of me. Telling me not to move, he gets a warm washcloth and cleans us both up. While he goes to put the washcloth in the hamper, he says that he has something to discuss with me concerning his job.

  Then because it’s me, I get up, pull a t-shirt on, and change the sheets. Because you know I can’t lie in a wet spot. I guess even great sex can’t tame my OCD tendencies.

  Walking back into the bedroom, he sees what I’m doing and starts laughing. I grin back at him and tell him to get to helping me. Once we’re done, we climb back into bed and get into our position. And then he begins to talk…what he says floors me…he wants to change from the ER to Peds.

  We talk for a while and make plans for his new career as well as our new baby and I feel a peace I haven’t felt in a long time…I can finally breathe easy knowing everything is going to be ok.

  Lying behind Chloe, my heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. It’s been a while since I felt that out-of-control urge to brand her as mine like I did when we first started dating.

  Thinking back over the past few months, I’m a little embarrassed to say that my performance has been less than stellar. Not that I wanted her any less, but I’ve been so wrapped up in my job that I put her on the back burner…in every way.

  Everything is going to change. I still need to talk to her about what I’m wanting to do career wise and she needs to see her OB; I’m not missing out on that.

  After cleaning us up and changing the sheets again, we get back in bed and I begin to tell her about what I’m contemplating.

  “I’ve been doing some thinking about my career…changing it, that is.”

  Her head jerks up and I barely miss getting head butted.

  “What are you talking about? Look, we had a fight…you aren’t giving up your career over it.”

  “No, that’s not what I mean. I want to change specialties. It’s not because of our fight. I’m already burnt out in the ER. When I chose which area of the medical field I wanted to work in, I was a kid with no responsibilities. Things have changed. I have you and 2.5 kids to think about.”

  I feel her give me a squeeze around the waist for support and I keep going.

  “I’ve talked to Connor as well as the Chief and they both think a change is a good idea. Connor pointed out that the reason he is always there for Madison and their kids is he realizes there is only one of them…there’s always another job.”

  “He makes a good point. I can work at any hospital, but without you and the kids, I couldn’t go on.”

  At that admission, she reaches up and places a kiss on my jaw. It’s a simple gesture and even if it makes me a pussy to say it, I know the stinging in my eyes is from tears.

  What the hell have I been thinking all this time? Jesus, I want to kick my own ass.

  Chloe interrupts my internal recriminations to ask what I want to change to.

  Running my fingers through her hair, I tell her that I want to go into the Peds department.

  “Though it’s still challenging, there’s a lot less stress than the ER. And I have the choice of working as a hospitalist or in a practice…later on, possibly both, if I can swing it.”

  “When we met, I had already made a decision on my career, but this time I’m not making any changes without your opinion.”

  Pulling away so she can see my face, she says, “I think it’s a perfect fit for you. You will still get to help people, but this way you can make an even bigger difference. Look how great you are with our two and all of our nieces and nephews.”

  Then, with a look that says she thinks I’m Superman, “And there’s nothing greater to me than someone who can keep a child safe.”

  Well, that seals it. She makes me feel 10 feet tall when she looks at me with pride shining in her eyes…like I just
saved the world single handedly. She’s always looked at me that way; but I became too busy to notice.

  “What does this mean for you as a resident? You’re so close to the end; will you have to start over?”

  I can’t even contemplate that happening.

  “No, I’ve had a Peds rotation and I can switch my last three months to their department. But, the bad news is that I will have an additional three months added on and the program will be accelerated…but I can do it. If it means that I get to spend more time with you and my kids in the long run, I’ll do it.”

  Pulling my lips down to hers, she says, “I love you, Jayson Matthew Reece…from here to the moon.”

  Then she kisses me and I feel every emotion in her kiss. I think of the song by Blake Shelton, “God Gave Me You” and I definitely believe that she was destined to be mine.

  There’s one more thing that I have to tell her. “I want you to know that I tried to get a leave of absence, but it was denied.”

  “Jayson! Are you kidding? Why would you do that?”

  “I thought we needed it and I wanted to be there for the things I missed out on during your pregnancy with the boys.”

  “Honey, I understand what you are saying, but you are so close to the end…you need to finish your program and be the best freaking pediatrician in Houston or Texas or the US!”

  Laughing at how much she thinks of my skills, I say, “Let’s not get carried away; how about we concentrate on being the best I can be?

  “Shush, you know what I mean.”

  “I do know and I love you for thinking so much of me.”

  “I have two more days off due to being sick, but since I’m better, will you call Dr. Gibbs and see if you can get in before I have to go back to work?”

  “Yes, of course. I’ll call now.”

  Grabbing her phone off the nightstand, she scrolls through her contacts and taps the number for her OB office.

  After greeting the receptionist, I hear her ask for Mia. They shoot the breeze for a moment and then Chloe says, “Guess what, I’m pregnant again.”