That Thing Between Eli & Gwen

by J. J. McAvoy

  None of them spoke.

  “I will ask again. Any questions?”

  “No, Dr. Davenport,” they all replied.

  “Great, which means you all will pull a night shift here to make sure that not only is Molly all right, but also that you get updated scans in the morning, along with any written thoughts you have on my procedure. For now, just check her blood work.”

  Nodding, they ran as fast as they could the other way. In the wrong direction.

  I didn’t even bother to stop them, just went to the station up front where Dr. Seo, who seemed to have a lot more free time, leaned back, shaking his head.

  “You are so mean to the kids, honey.” He laughed.

  “The kids need to stay in school,” I muttered, filling out my chart. “I’m not even sure how they got this far. Who doesn’t tell their attending that their patient is missing? Idiots.”

  “So, you excited for your date tonight?” he asked.

  “I am not talking about this with you.” I signed my name before putting the chart back and walking away.

  He followed. “We’ve been friends since medical school—”

  “No, we went to medical school together. You just kept telling people we were friends.”

  He sighed. “What do women see in you? You're such an ass.”

  “Handsome and successful, what more do they need to see?”

  He muttered something under his breath. “Look,” he said when we stepped into the elevator. “I’m just shocked you’re seriously with someone after—”

  “Stop.” I sighed. “I don’t completely know what Guinevere and I are yet. We like and are attracted to each other. I feel nice when she is around, and after the year I’ve had…the year we’ve both had, feeling nice isn’t something we take lightly. So yes, to answer your first question, I’m looking forward to tonight. I really hope it works out. But if it doesn’t, it doesn't.” Getting off, I turned back to him as he was about to go back up again. “Your hair better be dyed tomorrow.”

  “You are just being spiteful now.” He frowned as the elevator doors closed.

  Pulling out my phone as it vibrated, I smiled at her text.

  ‘I left for the day. Let me know when you're back.

  Go be ‘kinda cool’.

  Guinevere’

  Chapter Fourteen

  Much Ado About Nothing

  Eli

  I felt like I had been at the hospital forever. My whole body ached, and I was more than ready to just relax with Guinevere. However, when I got off the elevator, I noticed the person waiting at my door was Logan.

  He leaned against the wall, looking down at his feet.

  “Logan, I’m really busy tonight, you are—”

  “I need to talk to you,” he said seriously, his hands in his pockets. “I’m sure after you hear it, I’m not going to be here long.”

  “Logan? What is it?” I put my things down, giving him my full attention.

  He took a deep breath, looked to me, and then dropped his head again. “I dropped out of medical school today.”

  It was like he had pushed me in front of a moving train. “I’m sorry, you what?” I asked slowly.

  He nodded. “I dropped out of medical school—”

  “Have you lost your damn mind?” I yelled. “What do you mean, you dropped out? You have the highest grades in your class, I spoke to your professor a week ago!”

  “I don’t want to be a doctor, Eli!” he hollered back at me. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you this for…years.”

  “I can’t believe you are saying this right now. Where is this coming from? Logan—”

  “That’s right, me! It’s coming from me, Logan, your younger brother. I don’t like hospitals, Eli. I don’t like sick people. I don’t want to save people's lives with a scalpel, and I don’t want to be like you or Dad. I’m not—”

  “Then what do you want? Huh? You seem to have yourself all figured out, big kid, so tell me, what are you going to do with your life?”

  “I want to make music.”

  God help me. Turning away, I tried to find words, tried to keep calm, but I could feel my pulse quickening at the side of my neck. “Please tell me you are messing with me again.” I finally managed to say. “Please tell me this is just some stupid joke.”

  “It’s not stupid or a joke. It’s what I want to do. I’ve already met with a record label and was asked to tour, and I’m going in a week.”

  “Like hell you are—”

  “Eli, maybe you don’t get it, but I’m sick and tired of waiting and hoping for your blessing! I’m an adult. I’m able to make this choice on my own, and I’ve made it.” He walked around me, back to the elevator.

  “So what, you are just going to throw away all your hard work? Drop everything and go sing for a living?”

  “Yes, and the only reason the work was so hard was because I hated it so much. I did it because I wanted my big brother to be proud of me. I wanted him to be happy, because I knew he did everything in the world for me growing up to make up for the fact that I never knew my father. You taught me how to play baseball and soccer. You went to NYU, even though you got into the best schools in the country, because you wanted to be near me and Mom. Even after we told you we were fine, you still only chose Yale for medical school so you could drive home every few days to be with us. You’ve always taken care of us, and I wish I wanted the life you want for me. I really do. I wish I wasn’t letting you down right now, but I’m not like you, Eli. I can’t live my life for other people. I just can’t.” He got into the elevator.

  I wasn’t even sure what to say. Grabbing my stuff and entering my apartment, I was tempted to go back after him. He was throwing his life away. Why didn’t he see that?

  Taking an aspirin, I lay down on my couch, trying to breathe and get a hold of myself, but my headache would not stop.

  Guinevere

  I waited until about ten before I finally worked up the courage to knock on his door.

  It took a while, but he finally opened it, wearing the same clothes he'd worn to work that morning, only more rumpled. His eyes widened as he stared at me, and then down at his watch. “Guinevere, I’m so sorry!” He put his forehead on the back of the hand holding the door.

  “Can I come in? I brought Chinese.” I lifted the bag for him to see.

  He tried to smile. “Guinevere, I’m in an awful mood—”

  “I know. I heard you and Logan. I’m sure the whole building heard you and Logan. I was just going to let it go and pretend I didn’t hear anything if you called. But then I felt like I was lying. I was looking forward to spending time with you so, bad mood or not, I’m here with food.”

  He moved aside for me to enter.

  I walked to the kitchen, putting the bag on the counter and pulling everything out. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted, so I kind of got one of everything that sounded good. Stevie swears by the place, so I—what?” He was just staring at me when I turned around.

  “Nothing. I’m just a little annoyed with myself for falling asleep, and you went through all this trouble. I’m sure you overthought everything, from ordering the food to coming over here,” he replied, moving to get plates.

  “I wasn’t overthinking. Wondering what to get is a valid concern. You eat mostly healthy anyway, so I wasn’t even sure about Chinese. But it’s better than pizza, right?”

  He snickered, shaking his head at me. “Chinese food is worse for you, but it’s all right, I'll eat anything.”

  I should have gotten pizza!

  “And now you're thinking you should have gotten pizza.” He laughed, dishing out the food for us both.

  “Stop doing that.”

  “Stop making faces and I wouldn’t be able to know. Rice or noodles?”

  “Always rice,” I said.

  His eyes paused on the small gift I had brought over as well. It was wrapped in plain brown paper from my apartment.

  I saw him reach for it,
so I took it back.

  “Food first,” I said, holding it behind my back.

  He gave me an odd look but said nothing, handing me my plate and reaching into his wine fridge.

  “Oh no, you're almost out of your dad’s wine? I feel like it’s my fault.”

  “I’m nowhere near being out. My mom has a whole cellar full at the house. Besides, we know how it’s made. We can always have more produced if we really want to,” he replied, grabbing glasses and following me to the living room. He sat close by.

  Once more, I smiled at his soft couch. “One day, when I move into a bigger place, I’m going to get myself this same couch.”

  “Are you still using your apartment as a makeshift studio?” He took a bite and stopped, looking down at his plate. “This is amazing.”

  “When it comes to food, no one knows better than Stevie. Wasn’t the food at her wedding great?”

  “I thought you disliked the fish?”

  “I did, but I’m pretty biased against all fish not from back home. I’m not even sure why I bothered,” I said, taking a bite.

  “Do you miss it? Cypress?”

  I nodded. “Some days more than others. I love New York. After you’ve lived here for a while, it’s kind of hard not to. But I miss the open spaces, and the nature. Once, when I was nine, we ran into a herd of baby deer, and I remember wanting to take one home with me so badly that I cried when my dad told me to leave them alone. His reasoning was, he would be sad if someone thought I was pretty and decided to take me home, which was really horrid now that I think about it, but I understood what he meant.”

  “The photos you showed at Stevie’s wedding were cute. It’s completely how I envisioned you. I’m sure you must have given your parents one hell of a time.” He laughed.

  “Not really.” I sighed. “My parents never really tried to tell me no, so I always tried to do my best around them.”

  “Why?”

  Putting my plate down on his coffee table, I faced him. “I’m going to tell you something sad, but please don’t worry about if I’m still hurt or anything like that. For the most part, I’m really okay.” I could tell he felt a little lost. “I’m only saying this because you fought with your brother. So when I was twelve, my brother came back from college and told my parents he didn’t feel like a guy. He said he hated looking at this person in the mirror that wasn’t him. It was killing him on the inside. He planned to become a female, and my father lost it.” I whispered that last part.

  “He was so angry he almost had a heart attack. He told my brother to never come back to his house ever again…not until he ‘got his head on straight’. My brother, he tried. He tried as hard as he could to change himself to be more like what my father wanted, but that just made him hate himself more. No one talked about it. Then, a year later, he committed suicide, and only a few days after that, we each got letters in the mail from him. Mine was him telling me how much he loved me, and wanted me to be the best Guinevere in the history of Guineveres, and also to take care of his puppy, Taigi. To my parents, he said that he loved them, even though he knew he disgusted them, and that he hoped they could one day forgive him. My father cried for weeks, and my mom couldn’t even get out of bed.” I hated talking about my past. I had told no one this, not even Sebastian.

  “When I go home and hug my father, I always wonder if he regrets what he said to my brother, if he would have preferred to have two daughters instead of one daughter and a dead son. The only reason I’m saying this to you—and I’m sorry for making this evening so depressing—is because hearing Logan felt like I was hearing my brother. The same thing, just this time it’s about music. Is it really the same? No. Yes. I’m not sure. All I know is, we all get one life, and it’s hard enough without the people we love trying to stop us from completing our dreams. Could he go out there and completely fail as a musician? Sure. It happens to millions of people, and I’m sure there will be more than enough people who will tell him he isn’t any good, or that he will never make it. Believe me, I know, because I’ve met all of them.”

  Many of them were still waiting for me to fail.

  “He just needs his big brother to love him anyway. I get that you love him and want him to be happy, but whether he fails or not, he just needs you to be in his corner.” When I finished, I handed him the present I had wrapped.

  Unfolding his arms, he took it, not looking up at me.

  “I lied to you and your mother…well, and the world before. When I painted my Whispers of the East, it wasn’t for my grandparents. It was for my brother. I’ve just never told anyone about him, and I didn’t want my parents to be hurt if they ever saw it. The anniversary of his death is Friday, and your mom said your father died a week after that. So, I made a large-scaled one to give to her, and had small copies made and framed for you and Logan.”

  Eli

  My hands shook as I unwrapped the paper, and when I saw it, I felt like someone was squeezing my heart. The painting was so good it looked like a photo, and she had drawn a picture of Logan and I all grown up alongside my mother and father. We were all laughing at something, and it felt so real, like he had actually lived it along with us.

  “Guinevere…” I didn’t even know what to say, so I put the frame down next to the lamp and kissed her. My mind was racing, I felt ten million different things, and the greatest of all was just to be with her…for as long as she would let me.

  She shifted onto my lap, and my hands went under her shirt as hers gripped my hair.

  “Eli…” She moaned as I kissed down her neck. “I want this with you, but I want you to want it, not just in return for the painting.”

  Flipping her onto her back, I stared at her. “I want this for all of that and more, because you make me feel…you make me feel things I can’t describe. If you tell me to stop, I will stop.”

  She pulled open my shirt, smiling to herself. “I see all that running does a body good.”

  I reached for a condom in my back pocket when she stopped me.

  “I’m on the pill,” she replied, and it was music to my ears.

  Grinning, I kissed her once more, biting her bottom lip. Returning the favor, I ripped open her shirt, kissing both of her breasts before I trailed my tongue down her stomach, pulling off her jeans and underwear as I went.

  “Ahh…” she moaned, reaching up to hold the couch when two of my fingers slid into her. She rocked against me.

  “Eli!”

  She shivered when I licked her. Her leg on my shoulder, my tongue buried itself in her, tasting, drinking all of her in, my fingers never once stopping.

  “Eli…ahh, Eli… I…I—ahh…I can’t,” she said.

  Or at least I thought she did, but I wasn’t sure between all of her moaning and her hands pushing on my head, keeping me going.

  “Eli!” She came, her body arching up.

  Sitting up, I wiped the corner of my mouth, grinning at the sight of her underneath me, her chest rising and falling with each breath.

  “Kiss me,” she demanded.

  How could I deny her? Her tongue rolled over mine and I moaned, knowing she could taste herself on my tongue.

  With a slight push, she was able to get me onto my back, hopping on top of me. When she did, she took off her bra, dropping it on the ground next to me. Sitting up slightly, I grabbed her breasts and took one into my mouth. She gasped when I bit her nipple.

  “Eli…I…I want you,” she said, undoing my pants and reaching for me.

  I twitched in her warm hand. When she stroked me so slowly, I lost my train of thought.

  “Guinevere,” I gasped, letting go of her breast and thrusting into her hand.

  “I want you in me.” She kissed my lips quickly and repeated each word.

  Holding her waist, my breathing shallow, I almost came when she lowered herself onto me.

  “Fuck,” I hissed.

  She was so damn tight, all of her clenching around me. With her hands on my chest, she rode me, he
r hair falling to the side, mouth partly open, moaning my name over and over again as she did.

  I couldn’t take it. At this rate I was going to lose it. Pushing her onto her back, I lifted up her leg, pounding myself into her, her breasts bouncing with each fuck.

  “Oh, god,” she cried out, hands on my shoulders. “Eli…fuck yes!”

  The more she screamed out, the more I needed to hear it and the faster I went, to the point where the lamp next to the couch fell to the ground and the couch shifted with us, but I didn’t care.

  Her body arched up, and I was on my knees, gripping both of her thighs. I could barely see straight. “So good...” It was more than fucking good; her body was driving me toward madness.

  “Eli!” she screamed my name, reaching her second orgasm.

  Picking her up, her arms wrapped around me, I slammed into her, and she kissed the sides of my face. And, because she was either the cruelest woman I had ever met or the very best, she spoke dirty to me.

  “Fuck me hard, Eli,” she moaned, biting my ear. “Don’t let me stop screaming, baby.

  "I want more! Fuck me more!” she cried out, her nails running down my back.

  She’s killing me.

  “God, ever since you kissed me, Eli, I’ve wanted you to fucking take me like this.”

  “I will, repeatedly.” I spread her legs wider, enjoying how body her tilted up to the sky and, hugging her to me, I couldn’t hold back any more.

  “Ahh!” I came, my eyes closing to keep the room from spinning.

  We both stayed there, neither of us moving from each other, her arms around my neck and mine against her waist as we took deep breaths.

  When she finally relaxed, she sat atop me, making sure I could see into her eyes.