Solipsis: Escape from the Comatorium

by Jeff Pollard

  “Draw.” They shake on it. They split the title. After the match, Renee and Patrick become regular sparring partners in this game and others. After this meeting, they were rarely seen apart.

  37

  “Renee!” Patrick shouts, his animatron races toward her and Lazarus. Lazarus turns and fires as quickly as he can. The burst strikes Patrick's leg and hip. His damaged hydraulics lose control and he tumbles to the ground. He keeps coming, crawling toward Renee.

  A cult member jams his gun into Patrick's back, near the battery, about to kill this animatron. “Wait!” Lazarus shouts. Lazarus motions for other cult members to help him. They drag Patrick's animatron, leaking hydraulic fluid leaving a blue trail of robot blood. They prop Patrick against a vat, sitting right across from Renee. Patrick locks eyes with Renee. Lazarus jams his gun against Renee's chest.

  “Her brain is in there,” Lazarus says, “If I shoot her, she dies. This is real.”

  “Don't listen to him,” Renee says.

  “If you want her to live, then put in this password,” Lazarus says. Paul takes the touch screen and holds it up to Patrick.

  “What are you talking about? I don't know any password,” Patrick says.

  “Well, if that's how you feel,” Lazarus says. He holds his gun up, aiming at Renee's chest.

  “Wait,” Patrick quickly interrupts.

  “Put it in,” Lazarus says.

  Another animatron bursts through the retreating lines of cult members, he runs for Lazarus, but is shot and goes down in hail of sparks, face-planting on the metal grate. The fight grows closer.

  “If you don't put that password in, in five seconds, Renee will be dead forever,” Lazarus says.

  “Don't, okay, don't kill her, I'll cooperate, but I don't know about any password,” Patrick says, seeming to be sincere.

  “Patrick,” Renee gets his attention, “don't. I'd rather die.”

  Paul jams the touch screen in front of Patrick. The password is a four-digit number. Renee has entered the first three digits already: 2-0-1-_

  “Two zero one, what? I don't know this,” Patrick says in a panic.

  “Alright,” Lazarus says, turning to Renee.

  “Wait,” Patrick says. Patrick's brain finds the appropriate memory. “I know the password...”

  “Don't!” Renee shouts.

  “Three, two,” Lazarus counts down, aimed at Renee. Patrick hits the last number: 2-0-1-9. He hits enter. The password is correct. Paul tears the control panel away from him and rushes to Lazarus's side. They quickly work through the menus to the Neural-Net shutdown. Renee's defeated eyes lock with Patrick's.

  “I'm sorry,” Patrick says.

  The retreating cultists arrive at the central node, the wave of animatrons, led by Medved, have even more weapons now. The cultists retreat and form a circle around Lazarus and the central node. The noose tightens.

  “Go back it's in that menu,” Lazarus shouts at Paul.

  Renee reaches out with her nearly lifeless hand, grabbing Lazarus's ankle, clenching with all the power her hydraulics she can muster, she locks the hand in place like a vice. He can't move. “Let me go!”

  “Fuck you,” Renee says. Renee squeezes Lazarus's ankle harder, it makes crunching noise. Lazarus pushes the gun against Renee's chest. She simply smiles back.

  “Turn it off!” Lazarus shouts at Paul as he frantically navigates the menu, trying to find the Neural-Net controls.

  Peter/Medved breaks through the perimeter and sprints toward the central node. Two cultists are in his way. He fires, running out of ammo after only a few shots. The first guard goes down, but the second turns to fire at Peter. Peter throws the empty gun at him. The guard tries to duck out of the way, but the gun hits him in the shoulder. He winces as he tries to raise his gun back up to bear. Peter dives through the guard, crushing him to death in a flying tackle. Peter spots Lazarus just ahead, fighting against Renee's death grip. It feels like slow-motion, he gets to his feet and step-by-step, accelerates towards Lazarus.

  Lazarus spots this assault coming. He jams the gun into Renee's chest. “Let go!”

  Renee squeezes even harder, crushing Lazarus's ankle. Blood spurts across Renee's face and Lazarus's leg buckles in pain. But...it's not blood. Renee examines her hand; it's covered in hydraulic fluid. Renee looks up, locking eyes with him. “You've been vivisected,” Renee says. “You fucking hypocrite.”

  “It's just a prosthetic leg!” he shouts, “now let me go!” Lazarus sees Medved coming right for him. He has only a moment to get out of the way.

  “I think I got it!” Paul shouts excitedly.

  Renee eyes Medved's impending assault. “Time's up,” Renee says. Lazarus yanks against her death grip. Medved leaps toward him, about to crush him. Lazarus shoots Renee in the chest.

  38

  Renee wakes up in an infinite white space.

  What happened? Am I dead? Is this the real purgatory. Wait...I don't have a soul, I can't possibly be in heaven or purgatory. I simply cease to exist if I die...right? That's if souls even existed in the first place. What if souls are real, who's to say that I wouldn't have one? A soul is already a supernatural thing, so why does it have to follow scientific logic? Real DNA, simulated DNA, what's the difference? Maybe I do have a soul. Or this is just the loading program. Yeah, it's probably just the loading program.

  Okay, so he shot me. But then Medved probably got him. So we won. I hope Dad's okay. No, he'll be fine, he was out of the tube for only a few minutes, they could save him. They're probably restoring a bunch of vats right now, a lot of them had to be hit. That's why they aren't doing anything for me yet, those brains need to be re-set. Once they fix them up, they'll fix me. My computer must be working if I'm thinking. I think, therefore my brain computer is still working.

  So it won't be long, they'll just have to plug my blade back into the system. We won. It's over. No wait, Solipsis is still under their control. Right? They had someone on the inside. Once we retook the station, we could figure out who the administrator is and just unplug them. So they're figuring out who it is. They're probably doing that right now. Fixing Solipsis, getting everyone out of hell. That's why it's taking so long.

  Renee lays on her back in the infinite white space. Satisfied that it won't be long before she'll be woken up into the real world, victorious. She keeps waiting. Longer and longer. This goes on for minutes, hours, she can't tell.

  Renee finds herself back at the age of thirteen, walking with Patrick, hand-in-hand, across the top of the skybox over Solipsis. They appear to be walking on air, but an invisible boundary keeps them aloft above the clouds. This was the first time we held hands, the first time we acknowledged anything more than friendship.

  “Do you ever wonder about televators?” Renee asks.

  “What do you mean?” Patrick replies.

  “Well, if I get in, and then appear somewhere else, then doesn't that mean that I've been destroyed, and then a copy of me has been made in that new place. How do we know that it's really me going to that new place and not just something else that thinks it's me and has my memories? Maybe from my point of view I walked in there and died, ceased to exist.”

  “But that's not how televators work,” Patrick says suspiciously.

  “How do we know? I mean, we only have the point of view of the product, I think it works since I've gone through them, but maybe the original me died, and each time was replaced by a new version of me. How can it really be me if I'm made of entirely different matter?”

  “But every molecule in a human body is replaced slowly by other molecules. The you of even a few years ago as entirely different matter,” Patrick replies.

  “So I guess who we are is defined by the product of our material and not the material itself,” Renee says.

  “Yeah, I guess,” Patrick replies. “But televators don't work like that,” Patrick adds.

  “How do they work?” Renee asks.

  “Well, I mean, they just move our avatars,�
�� Patrick replies simply.

  “Our what?” Renee asks.

  Renee's eyes open wide, staring up into a white infinity.

  Patrick did tell me that we lived in a simulation.

  I've been suppressing memories all my life, manipulating the incoming information to make the world what I want it to be. How do I know that what's happening now is even real? I guess I can't ever know that. Maybe all I do is manipulate memories, but can't manufacture new experiences. Right? Oh my god...Oh shit. I've been in here for a while. What about the bomb? If we won and took over the station, they don't know about the bomb.

  Maybe it's about to kill us all. Christ.

  If I can simply delete the memories I don't want, and then control my own version of events, Why can't I simply change the reality I'm taking in? What's the difference? Maybe my whole life is just a solipsistic dream. Maybe I'm god. Maybe none of this was real. They're working on artificial consciousness and I'm just one of a million of these running in a computer simulation. What if this has all just been an elaborate game to test the morality function of an artificial consciousness. I guess I passed? God dammit. I'm probably never going to find out. Their simulation is done and they have no more need for me. Shut me down, evaluate my performance, tweak, modify, try it again. Clearly I'm not the best artificial consciousness. I flipped out and suppressed my own memories. Wait...A computer could simulate the workings of a brain as fast as they wanted. Maybe my entire life has only taken seconds.

  No. We won, this is real.

  They're fixing the vats, retaking Solipsis, freeing everyone from hell. Medved's carrying my brain back to the docking station, going to plug me back in any second.

  Renee opens her eyes, lying in the infinite white purgatory. The bomb can't have much time left on it if it's still going.

  Renee suddenly finds herself in a televator. She looks down at her hands. This is Solipsis-Renee, the simulated flesh and blood version. This is home. Renee's mind races in the the mere instant it takes for her to open the televator door. I'm plugged back in! We won. They're probably all right outside this door waiting to greet me. We did it!

  Renee rushes out and stops dead in her tracks.

  She's not at home.

  She stands on the judgment platform, the jagged mountains are ahead, the catapult to hell is just feet away. Lazarus sits at his throne. Two angels grab her arms, yanking her out of the televator and put her in front of Lazarus.

  Lazarus is still in charge! But how?

  This is it?

  “Any last words?” Lazarus asks, smiling evilly.

  “How? How are you here? We were going to win,” Renee says, still in shock.

  “You underestimated me. God's will is on my side, remember. Now, do you have any last words?” Renee stays silent, unable to believe that it's over. They lost. Eternity in a literal hell awaits her. Lazarus hears no response and he nods to an angel. The angel shoves her into the catapult.

  “Wait,” Renee protests. She stares down at the wooden planks of the platform. She contemplates an eternity in this hell, the destruction of her family, the end of her world, never getting to accomplish anything with her life, never loving, never having children, never helping anyone, never saving lives. How could this happen? Her eyes fill with tears.

  She imagines sitting around the kitchen table with her family, everyone happy, the way things used to be. What if it could be that way again? What if we could live forever in that moment, with no pain, no suffering, bathed in infinite love. What if it's possible?

  “I...” she stammers, barely able to choke the words out of her throat. She can't believe what she's about to say. “I...I might be ready to convert.”

  “You're ready to come to the Lord?!” Lazarus asks enthusiastically.

  “Maybe,” Renee manages to say, sniffling.

  “Excellent,” Lazarus says. He can't believe his luck. “We might discover if AI's have a soul after all.”

  “How does this work?” Renee asks.

  “Well you have to accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior,” Lazarus replies. “But first, can I ask you what made you change your mind? It would be a big help in future recruiting.”

  “I want to believe that I'll be reunited with my family. Part of me wants so badly for that to be true that it overcomes the rest of me. I know up here that it's not really true, but in my heart...I just wish it was true so hard that the two things don't seem to contradict anymore. I can accept that my beliefs don't necessarily have to follow from my thoughts. Maybe I'm just better off letting go and believing the fantasy. We all do that don't we? We all live in our own version of reality anyway. So why cast so much attention on how I construct my reality, why not turn a blind eye and just buy into the wishful thinking, maybe that will increase my happiness.”

  “You're not a believer,” Lazarus says coldly. “You're just faking it. It's time for you to go to hell. Maybe in time you'll really see the light.”

  “No! Wait, I want to convert!” Renee protests.

  “Any last words?” Lazarus asks with a smile.

  Renee hyperventilates. She swallows hard. Defeated, she tries to muster up her courage, to take control back of her reality.

  “Cogito Ergo Sum,” Renee says defiantly.

  “Says the robot,” Lazarus says dismissively. “You know, you're the reason I did all this. All of this, the torture of your family, the destruction of your world. Even I didn't know it at the time, but you are the reason for all of this. Mankind thought they found a loophole. They thought they could bypass God and create offspring that would have no souls and would live forever, able to go on sinning forever without consequences. But God sent me. All of this was to send a message to the rest of humanity. It will echo through the eons. If you try to circumvent God, you'll end up in hell, one way or another.”

  Unbeknownst to Lazarus, Renee's last words triggered a programming function buried deep in the coding of this world. Her display system turns back on. She sees the cloud of information hovering over each avatar. Renee stays calm, not giving away this trick up her sleeve. She finds the controls for manipulating her avatar. She gets to the specific heat setting and turns it up. It might buy her some time.

  “Are you ready to suffer for eternity?”

  Renee stares back stoically. Lazarus motions to Paul to launch her. Paul grabs the lever and then gives it a yank. The lever won't budge, it's stuck frozen. Frost grows on everything, spreading quickly. Their armor freezes at the joints, trapping them in place.

  “How did she access the console? The display system is turned off!” Lazarus demands, unable to move. The angels are panicked but unable to move. Renee walks quickly toward the televator. She gets in and shuts the door. No soothing voice, no lights, no displays.

  The televator is dead.

  Renee steps back out of the televator trying to think of a plan. Lazarus smiles at her.

  “You can't get back to Earth,” Lazarus says. “You're stuck here.”

  Think Renee, think!

  The sun overhead triples in size, its powerful rays wash over them, warming up everything on the platform. Renee's trick won't hold up for long.

  How did they win? They were overwhelmed.

  Renee's thoughts zoom back into the Comatorium. She gripped Lazarus's ankle, squeezing hard. Medved killed two guards and raced towards Lazarus. He fires a burst right at her. Her memories end there. But what happened next? Did Lazarus shoot Medved and stop him? Even so, there's so many animatrons coming, they would have killed Lazarus for sure. How did he survive?

  Wait a second.

  Renee looks up at the large sun and the fingers of fire spreading across the skybox.

  He just manipulated the sun. He didn't tell someone to do it. He did it. He's the administrator. But he can't be the administrator, he'd never have himself vivisected.

  Renee flashes back to the Comatorium, the hydraulic fluid from his leg squirts across her face.

  “It's a prosthetic,” Lazaru
s says in her memory. “It's a prosthetic.” The words echo through her mind. “It's a prosthetic.” The voice is crystal clear. Crystal clear and not deep. His voice sounded perfectly normal. But in the Comatorium's Xenon-Oxygen atmosphere human voices are pitch-shifted down. Voices made by speakers aren't pitch-shifted, his voice wasn't made by vocal cords.

  “It's a prosthetic,” Lazarus said with an electronic speaker. He was an animatron. He has been vivisected. He's a brain in a vat.

  Renee slowly smiles, realizing what she must do.

  39

  In the dark, Seth hunches over a broken robot. He's reattaching the back-plate after having replaced the battery. Paul walks in and stands over him, holding a gun. “Hurry up, he wants to plug her in now.”

  “Just a second, she's almost ready.”

  There is a display on the back of the robot, the boy presses a button and the display says "Downloading."

  “Done,” he says. Paul motions and a cultist helps Seth as the two of them drag the flesh-bot that holds Renee's mind away. They disappear down the hallway, taking Renee back to the Comatorium.

  The room is now silent and empty, except for Renee's old animatron, which sits like a statue against the wall. The displays labeled SC P1 are all blank, showing no data. Her brain computer resides in the animatron now. But next to that display are several other blank ones. As the footsteps disappear down the hallway, a second blade computer turns on. It's right next to the SC P1, and all it says is: Uploading 1%

  Lazarus's animatron lays on the wet Comatorium floor, propped against the central node of wires. His animatron is plugged into the node through a crudely made docking port. Lazarus is conscious, but his animatron has no hydraulics, having been nearly destroyed in the assault. Paul and the other cult member bring in Renee and sit her lifeless body down next to Lazarus.

  “There she is,” Lazarus says, excited. “Send her on down.” Lazarus's eyes close and his consciousness disappears into Solipsis. Paul plugs Renee into the node, and connects her brain back into Solipsis. Renee awakens in the televator and takes a quick step out, finding herself on the judgment platform.