Tish took a swig of her beer and slowly placed the bottle on the table. “What makes you think she’s upset?”
“Because I can tell she is.” He looked back toward the bathroom then back to Tish.
Tish spared a look at Jeff, then rested her forearms on the table and leaned forward. “How can you tell?”
“Seriously? How could anyone not tell? I’m not blind. It’s all over her face. She’s upset. It’s so obvious it felt like a punch in the gut when I looked at her.”
“Wow, hot and perceptive?” Tish rolled her eyes.
“Shirley is the most perceptive guy I know. For realsies.” Jeff chuckled.
Tish glanced at Jeff. “I’m not impressed.”
“Not fucking around right now.” Derek scowled at his best friend, and then directed his highly annoyed stare back to Tish. What the fuck was going on? Frustration rose inside Derek like a tidal wave. Jeff’s games weren’t a surprise, but how could Tish be breaking his balls when her best friend was in the bathroom upset?
He shook his head and stood. “Forget it. Fucking Stacie comes over and now my girl is upset. I’m going to see if she’ll talk to me.”
As Derek came around the table to head in the direction of the bathrooms, Tish got to her feet and stopped him. Christ, he did not need this. “Can you just chill out? Give the girl a minute, okay? She obviously just came face to face with a Barbie doll who you likely used to fuck.”
“Look, not that I care what you think, but Stacie is nobody to me. Never was. Never will be. I get how it might’ve looked, but it’s not my fault Stacie flirts with the world and loves starting shit. So, either fill me in, or let me go figure out if I can fix it.”
Tish nodded, and then her expression softened. “Look, it’s not Stacie. Well, it sort of is, but not how you’re thinking. Stay here. I’ll deal with it.”
“No way.” This time it was his turn. He caught her by the arm as she went to brush past him. This wasn’t how this was going to go, and Tish needed to understand that right now. “Tell me what it is.”
Tish looked down at his hand and then to his eyes. “Listen, King Kong, I got it. You need to trust me.”
“This isn’t about trusting you, Tish. It’s about Rayna. You want to handle your girl, I get it. I respect it. But I have no shame in telling you that she is the one for me. The one, Tish, and I have no intention of losing her, so give me a break and tell me what this is really about.”
Tish drew in a deep breath, and as she glanced over her shoulder she let it out, and then turned back to him. “Fine.” She hit him with a resigned but hard expression in her eyes. “You’re a cop.”
Derek frowned as confusion swamped his mind again. “Yeah. We know. So?”
“Come on, Derek. Really?”
“Yeah, Tish. Fucking really. I’m a cop. Can you be any more vague, or are you going to spit it out?”
Tish rolled her eyes.
Irritation tingled in Derek’s veins. He was getting real fucking tired of her rolling them damn eyes of hers. “Waiting.”
She crossed her arms. “You know as well as I do, stereotype or not, cops can sometimes get around. First time Rayna comes face to face with one of your past fucks, you gotta figure it’s not going to go over so well. Wouldn’t be a big deal for me, or anyone like me, to handle. But we both know Rayna isn’t like me, or Stacie for that matter. She’s different.”
Of course, Rayna was different, that’s what attracted him to her to begin with. But, what the fuck? Talk about guilty before proven innocent. Jesus Christ. Derek frowned. “First of all, Stacie is not one of my past fucks. Wouldn’t lay that with someone else’s dick. But that doesn’t really matter because, since I’m a cop, Rayna likely just assumed I fucked the girl and probably assumes I’ll do it again, right?”
“Bingo, King Kong.”
“That’s fucked up.” He looked at Jeff. “Are you hearing this?”
“Yeah, but come on, Derek.” Jeff shrugged. “Not like we don’t know plenty of guys on the force like that.”
“Right, but that doesn’t mean I’m like that, too. What does she think, that when you graduate the academy it’s all ‘Congratulations! Here’s your badge and your special license to screw everyone on the planet. Be responsible. Wear a condom!’” He shook his head. “That’s wrong on so many levels, I don’t even know which one to start with.” Derek sat in the closest seat as a wave of defeat blanketed him.
Just because he was a cop, she automatically didn’t trust him? What the fuck was up with that? The wind had just been knocked right out of his sails. He had real and serious feelings for Rayna, didn’t want anyone else but her, and couldn’t even imagine touching another woman.
Derek ran his palm over his hair and cupped the back of his neck. For fuck’s sake, he may not be a saint, but that didn’t mean he was a sinner, either.
Tish placed her hand on Derek’s arm. “Look, just trust me. It’s gonna be fine. But I need you to not take it personal. There’s more to it than you realize.”
“How can I not take any of that personally?”
“Because it’s not about you. Honestly, it’s not even about the blond Barbie.” She squeezed his arm. “I’ll be back. Jeff? Keep your boy here. If you do, you’ll get a reward.”
“Don’t tease me, girl.” He winked. “No worries. We’re not going anywhere.”
“I never tease.” Tish stepped away.
With an unexpected amount of disappointment pulsing through his heart, Derek looked at Jeff. “That’s fucked up, Jeff. If that’s how she is, how she thinks, then I seriously misjudged her.”
“Nah, Shirley. I’m sensing it’s old baggage more than anything. Plus, you heard Tish, she said there’s more to it. Just slow your roll and see what happens.”
“Fine.” All Derek could do was lean back in his seat, cross his arms, and shake his head.
He glanced over toward the bathroom as a feeling of helplessness pulsed in time with his heart. She’d basically profiled him due to his job. Which was just too fucked up to fathom, or maybe Jeff was right and it was old baggage. For the sake of his heart, he hoped that’s all it was.
“Everyone has baggage...”
“True story. Just depends on how many bags.” Jeff sipped his beer.
Confusion filled Derek, and he raised his brows. “Huh?”
“I’m agreeing with you. Everyone has baggage, just saying it depends on how many bags they have.”
“Shit, I said that out loud? Christ, this little blip of what-the-fuckery really has me twisted.” Derek leaned forward and glanced in the direction of the bathrooms again. “Fuck’s sake, I don’t know what to do.” Derek shook his head.
“Like I said, slow your roll.”
Derek nodded and tried to look anywhere but in the direction of the restrooms. Even though his first reaction had been anger, he truly didn’t like that Rayna was upset. No matter what the reason was.
The instinct to make it better, to make her smile again, hit him so hard in the gut, he wasn’t sure how to get past it. Sitting still sure as hell wasn’t helping the matter. Worse, the fact that he was the cause of the hurt in her eyes had sliced through his heart like a hot knife through butter.
Fuck, where were they?
* * * *
“All right, Rayna. Enough theatrics. Come on out.”
Rayna rolled her eyes and stared down at Tish’s shoes visible on the other side of the bathroom stall. “Geez, Tish, I’m going to the bathroom.”
“No. You’re not going to the bathroom. You’re in there sulking and beating yourself up. And telling yourself that you never should’ve gone out with him to begin with, but then you think about how awesome he is, and then you ruin that by thinking about your dad.”
Good grief, was her best friend living inside Rayna’s head?
“For real,
Rayna. Don’t make me crawl under this stall. I’m wearing new jeans.”
“Ugh, fine.” Rayna stood, opened the stall door, and walked past Tish to the sinks. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Tish moved beside her. “Fine. I’ll talk. You listen.”
“Whatever.” Rayna rolled her eyes at her friend and washed her hands. Talk about déjà vu. Weren’t she and Tish in the ladies’ room just a couple weeks ago and Rayna was upset about a similar thing? But, heck, in retrospect, that seemed way less of a big deal than this time. Yeah, and this was exactly why she should not be with Officer Derek Hansen.
“He’s never fucked her, and has never wanted to, either. She’s just one of those silly, desperate women that like to cause trouble.”
Rayna stared down at her fingernails. “So? It doesn’t matter. Women like Stacie are always going to come on to him, flirt with him. Eventually he’ll give in. Nature of the beast.”
“Oh! Thank you for participating in the conversation. But what you’re saying is nuts. You really think, in your heart of hearts, after the last few weeks you’ve spent with him, that he’s really and truly that kind of man?”
Rayna bit her bottom lip. From what she knew so far, did she really think Derek would be “that guy”? Yes. No. Argh! Rayna threw her hands up as frustration raced through her veins. “I don’t know, Tish. My mother never thought that my dad was that kind of man, and look what happened to her. You never really know a person. That’s what I believe. So, no, maybe Derek wouldn’t cheat right now. But someday maybe.”
Tish frowned. “When did you get this fucked up?”
“That was mean.” Rayna looked at the ground and tried to swallow past the lump that’d risen in her throat. “I’ve always been this fucked up. You just didn’t realize it, apparently.”
“Rayna, come on.” Tish clasped her palms on Rayna’s forearms. “I’m sorry, you’re right. That was harsh. But, honey, this is your chance. That guy out there? He is nothing like your father. You gotta know that. Derek really cares about you.”
Hope filled Rayna’s chest, mixing in with all the doubt. She looked at her best friend. “How do you know?”
“Girl, you should have seen how freaked he was when you walked away. He knew instantly that something was wrong.”
Rayna blinked back the tears that had filled her eyes. She’d been wearing mascara on and off over the past couple of weeks; she wasn’t going to ruin it with stupid tears. “He did?”
“Yeah, he even got pissed at me when I joked around with him, teasing that he was both hot and perceptive. Well, to be honest, I was just being snarky. But whatever.”
Rayna laughed; she couldn’t help it. She already knew he was perceptive. “He really is perceptive, and smart, too. You should see him with his canine partner. He’s really sweet to him, but in a tough guy kind of way. It’s adorable.”
“Yep, I bet. And now your face just completely changed. I bet you have no clue that even happens, do you?”
Rayna looked into the mirror. “What changed?”
“I swear, you live in a little bubble.” Tish let out a mock snore. “Look at your face, I mean really look at it. You’re glowing right now. Five minutes ago, you looked like someone had killed your dog—” Tish cringed and so did Rayna. “Sorry, I know you hate that reference. Anyway, my point is, you wear your emotions all over your face. Hell, all over your body. Happy, sad, angry, whatever you’re feeling, is stamped all over you. I see it all the time, but I’m used to it. But Derek sees it, too. Don’t you get what that means?”
Rayna looked at her best friend through the mirror. The lump was back in her throat, and her stomach had gone into a knot. Afraid of what Tish was going to reveal to her, Rayna barely managed a whisper. “No.”
Tish drew in a breath and shook her head. “That man out there?” She pointed in the direction of where Derek would be located in the bar. “He’s into you. I mean, he is really into you, Rayna. Meaning he already cares about you in a big way. So, if you care about him at all, you have to give him a shot. A real one.”
Rayna sucked in a sharp breath as a whole tornado of feelings sped through her, sending her emotions into a tumultuous storm. Great, like she needed that—and right on cue, her chest and face grew hot. Ugh!
She grabbed a paper towel, ran it under the cold water and pressed it to her neck.
“You okay?” Tish gave her a gentle smile.
Rayna nodded as she let the cool cloth do its job. “Yes. It’s just...I don’t want to have feelings for him. I mean, I really love the sex.” She shook her head. “The sex has been... I can’t even describe it, it’s so good. But more than just sex with him scares the heck out of me.”
“Hate to break it to you, Rayna, but if all you wanted was sex, then seeing another woman touch him wouldn’t upset you like it did. You wouldn’t care.”
“Ugh, why do you have to be so logical?” Rayna frowned and swallowed down another lump. “As much as I don’t want to admit it, you’re right. I guess I failed at keeping my heart out of it. But can you blame me? He’s a dream guy out of some sort of fantasy. Fantasies like that don’t happen in real life to people like me. It’s crazy to think someone as awesome and smart and gorgeous as Derek would look my way. He should be with someone like Stacie.”
“Everything you just said about him is exactly why a man like Derek would never be with a woman like Stacie and exactly why he only has eyes for you.”
Rayna sniffled and wiped away a single tear that escaped. “Crud! My mascara is going to run.”
Tish laughed. “Never thought I’d ever hear you say something like that.”
“Oh shush.” Rayna swatted Tish’s arm. “Don’t just stand there. Help me fix it.”
Tish grabbed some toilet paper from the stall. “Just wait. Don’t wipe, just dab. Dab...”
Rayna leaned close to the mirror and did as Tish instructed. When she’d cleaned herself up as best she could, she pressed another damp paper towel to her cheeks and neck.
“You ready to go back out there? I’m thinking Jeff had to sit on him to get him to stay.”
Rayna drew in a deep breath and then let it out. Slow and easy. Derek cared about her. Because of that, Rayna had to believe that maybe, just maybe, this could be it for her. Fifty-fifty shot of it working out, if she was going to be real about it. In the grand scheme of things, those weren’t bad odds. “Yes, I’m ready.”
* * * *
Out of patience, Derek took his shot and made his way toward the bathrooms when Jeff got up to get them more beer. He wasn’t going to knock, or maybe he was. He wasn’t really sure. He just knew he couldn’t sit and wait, because he was coming out of his goddamn skin.
Before Derek got to the hall, both women emerged from the ladies’ room. Derek slowed his approach.
When Rayna spotted him, she stopped.
Tish kept going, but as she got near him she leaned his way. “Told you.” She gave him a wink and then kept going.
Derek turned his focus back to his Doc. When he reached Rayna, he had to resist the urge to touch her, pull her into his arms. Which sucked and felt all wrong. “You okay?”
“Yes.” She looked down. “I’m sorry.”
It was such a classic submissive action, and he loved that about her. Except, with her eyes cast down, he ached to connect with her, bring her closer to him. There was only one sure way to do that.
“Eyes, Doc.” Derek ran his fingertips up the side of her biceps. When he did, she glanced up and caught his gaze once more. He cradled her shoulder with his palm and stroked her soft skin with his thumb. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who’s sorry. Stacie is kind of an asshole, and I need you to know that she is no one to me other than someone I’ve known for years. More of an acquaintance really. Nothing more.”
“Thank you for reassuring me. It means a lot
. But I am sorry, Derek, because I totally overreacted.”
He nodded. “You’re human. I understand but...I gotta ask, the fact that I’m a cop? Tish mentioned something. Can we talk about it?”
She cast her eyes down again and shook her head. “Maybe at some point. Just not right now, if that’s okay? Just, please don’t take it personally.”
Derek sighed through his nose. If she needed time, he’d give her time. “Okay. I understand.”
“Thank you.” Rayna rose on tiptoe and wrapped her arms around his neck. “What I’d much rather do is have fun with you, try some beer that I probably won’t like, and then go home and get naked in my bed with you.”
Hope and lust spiked in his blood. “That’s the best idea I’ve ever heard.” He took in her expression, checking for signs of her true mood. There were still residual traces lingering from her being upset, but it was well on its way out the emotional door and she was definitely in a better headspace. “I ordered you a beer.”
“I’m nervous.” She smiled.
“Bah, no need. I got you, baby.” Derek gave her a wink, pressed a soft kiss to her lips, then took her hand and led her back toward the table.
Whatever the deal happened to be, whatever her issue with him being a cop was, he’d deal with it. When she was ready, she’d share, and he’d work through it with her. Whatever it was.
Because she was worth it.
Chapter 14
Derek pulled into Doc’s driveway and shut the truck down. After he got out and was about to head for the front door, the garage opened. He stopped, crossed his arms and leaned a hip against his bumper.
The rising door gave him the first glimpses of her, starting with the cowgirl boots she wore on her feet and then—God help him—her smooth bare legs. Next, her thighs, where the short, flowy skirt she wore skimmed her heavenly flesh. All his breath left his lungs as he watched her being revealed, inch by inch, before him. Then came the snug waistline of the dress, and equally snug top, which enhanced her fucking delectable breasts. But then, finally, her fresh and naturally pretty face.
Avoiding the Badge Page 13