by Jenika Snow
She chuckles. “Okay. He’s okay, though?”
“He’s fine,” I say. “I’ll pick you up in ten.”
“I’ll be ready.”
Grabbing my car keys, I leave, and climb into my car. It takes me a few minutes to pull up outside of her building, shocked to find her already outside. She looks amazing, refreshed, and so damn sweet.
“Morning,” she says.
“You’re still chipper in the mornings?” I ask. Growing up, I remember Alex moaning how Skylar was always up and about, listening to her pop music that drove him insane. Any time we had a sleepover, I’d wake up just to hear her. I wonder if she realizes that she sings aloud for the whole house to hear when she is listening to her music.
“Always. Mom doesn’t know how I do it. I think I drive my family crazy because I love being up.”
“You’ll soon find it a drag, believe me.”
“Mom said that to me a few years ago.”
She straps in as I pull away from the curb.
I navigate the early morning traffic, loving the scent of lemon that fills the car. She loves lemons, everything that has lemon she loves. How did I not remember that until just now?
“So, I was thinking about last night, and I never got to ask you if you had a boyfriend back home?”
“Why would you ask me?” she asks.
“You asked me.”
She stays silent for a second.
“Are you avoiding the subject? Or maybe I made you uncomfortable?”
“No. There’s no one. I’ve never been one to connect with guys like that, you know. I haven’t needed a boyfriend to complete me.”
“I get it. I was just curious, and making sure I wasn’t about to make some guy jealous about taking his girl out.” Happiness surrounds me. She isn’t taken, and I know she is going to belong to me.
No one else is going to do but me.
What I don’t want to do is scare her away.
“You’ve not had any girlfriends either?” she asks.
“I’ve hung out with girls. Nothing steady.”
“Oh. You don’t have to worry.”
Silence falls in the car, and I hate it. I want to keep her talking, and not about past girls I’ve had. This isn’t going the way I’d hoped.
“Do you have a major yet? Alex told me you were undecided.”
“I still am.”
“You don’t know what you want to study?”
“Nope. I don’t have a clue. It’s hard for me to think of one simple thing to settle on for the rest of my life. How can anyone decide that at eighteen?”
“I know what you mean. It’s tough to find your path and accept it.”
Pulling into the diner, I hear her stomach rumble, and know I’ve brought her to the right place. Glancing over at Skylar, I see that her face is bright red. “You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
We find a nice quiet booth, and immediately Skylar is looking over the menu. Her index finger is slowly scrolling through the list, and I notice she is biting her bottom lip as she reads.
Looking away is impossible.
How did I not realize how cute she was growing up? Don’t get me wrong, I always knew she was sweet, and cute, but I never thought about it for myself.
“Why do you keep staring at me? Do I have a zit or something?”
“No. I was just wondering when you grew up.”
She smiles, and it lights up the whole of her face.
“A long time ago. Believe me.”
“You seem a little different from what I remember. Did anything happen back home?” I ask.
“Nothing, Holden. Believe me. You don’t have to worry all that much about me.”
The waitress comes to take our order. Before Skylar even orders, I know what she wants. Pancakes, bacon, maple syrup, with scrambled egg. It’s a dish I’ve seen her eat many times. Once, when I first heard it, I thought it was really gross. She made me try it, and guess what, it wasn’t gross at all.
“What the hell. I’ll take the same.”
“You’ve decided to live on the dangerous side, how will you cope?” she asks.
“You’re going to have to hold my hand, babe. Go on this wild ride with me.” Reaching out to touch her hand, I’m happy when she doesn’t pull away. Her skin is so soft, even on her hands.
“When can we expect my brother?”
“I’d say around lunch, and be prepared. He’ll order a big ass steak.”
She sighs. “He never could handle his liquor.”
“Or his girls.”
Skylar scrunches up her nose. “That’s what I’m worried about. I did want to go to a college in the complete opposite direction and stay away from you guys.”
I’m hurt. “Why?”
“My brother has always had girls falling at his feet, and I was worried. You know. Worried that I’ll end up at the bottom of the food chain with all of those girls you overlook. If my parents weren’t so dead set against me being on my own, that’s where I would have gone.”
Holding my hands up, I give her a face that I’m hoping looks somewhat innocent. “You’ve got no problems from me. There are no scary girls in my past, or anyone for you to be afraid of.”
She chuckles, and that sound is what it’s all about.
“I like this. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed being around you guys. Well, you. I’m sure Alex is still the same, and he can be a laugh.”
“Just remember that I’m the nicer one.” Winking at her, I turn to see that our food has arrived. Of course it smells delicious. “Thanks.”
Skylar grabs her knife and fork, and digs in. The moment the first butter pancake, dripping with maple syrup and bacon fat, hits her mouth, I see that she’s in heaven. “Amazing.”
It’s good to watch her eat.
Digging into my own food, I enjoy every single bite, and by the end of it, I’m stuffed.
“What did you think?”
“That was awesome.” She leans back in her chair, rubbing her stomach. “I think I’m going to have to take up running or something awful if I keep eating like that.”
Skylar has a few curves in all the right places. A nice set of tits, more than a handful, but not too much. She has a slender waist, flared hips, and like I admired last night, a nice rounded ass.
“You’re fine. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“Says the guy who can burn like a thousand calories a minute.”
“Come on, we both know I can burn way more than that.”
I love watching the way her eyes seem to twinkle. I like to think that the glow coming from her was my doing.
“Right, shall we get this show on the road? I’m thinking if I drive you around away from campus, I can show you what you can do during your spare time. Then, we have lunch, and after that we’ll be with Alex, and we can take you around campus.”
“You’re the boss, Holden. It’s up to you.”
“Then it’s off to the mall for a little while.” I want to show her how much this place has to offer. She can find her independence while still pleasing her parents, and not going too far away from us. I know it’s wrong, but the campus can be somewhat dangerous.
I’ll protect her, no matter what the cost is.
Chapter 5
Skylar
Later that night
“Another party, Alex?” I ask my brother as I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. My roommate is gone for the night, and although I want to stay in and just relax, I also want to visit with Alex, see Holden again, and not be alone in this room.
“Skylar, you might want to get used to the parties. Aside from studying, this is what college life is about.”
I roll my eyes. I don’t bother telling him that won’t be what my college life is life.
“I feel bad about getting wasted last night, and I want to hang out with you. It’s been a long time since we’ve done that.”
Well, aside from last night, yeah, it has been a long time.
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I exhale and smile. “Okay. Pick me up.”
An hour later and I am standing in the middle of Alex’s living room. There aren’t as many people here tonight, but then again it is still early.
I hold a beer in my hand, the only one I’ll drink tonight. It doesn't matter how many beers I consume, I can never get over the bitter hop taste I get after each swallow. Frank has since crashed from what I know was sensory overload, and is curled into a tight yet pudgy ball on the corner of the couch. Alex is out back, and Holden has run to the restroom. He’s refused to leave my side since I arrived, which I’m thankful and happy about. But hell, even a guy has to go to the bathroom.
When the keg stands started becoming more frequent, everyone thought, even in their inebriated state, that it was wiser to take it out back. Even now I can hear the chanting to “take it all,” and “chug, chug, chug.”
Several couples disappeared upstairs and I can hear the not-so-subtle noises coming from the bedrooms. Music pumps loudly around me and I have to turn my back on a bunch of girls that are giving lap dances to a few guys. Dollar bills are being held up and lewd comments are being thrown out like everyday greetings.
Although I may not be very experienced in the sex department, I don't consider myself a prude by any means. I grab Frank and move to a more secluded area of the house, sitting down in an old, yellowing chair situated by the window. I can still hear the shouts from the guys playing some military video game in another room. I’d gladly take that over hearing the raunchy comments and loud moans that seem to surround me.
This is so not my scene, but I know that I need to get used to it because this is Alex's scene and I can't ask him not to have parties just so I can visit him and Frank. This is college after all, and things, so far, have been very different then high school. The few parties I’ve been to, only because Alex brought me there so that I would socialize, have been wild, but nothing like what is going on around me.
I can't really see out the window since it’s dark, but I can see the reflection of everything behind me, and I sit here just people watching. It's what I do best anyway. Stay to myself, blend in with the scenery. A guy weaving severely comes through the entryway and places a hand on the wall to steady himself. I watch him close his eyes, hiccup once, and then glance around the room before locking his gaze on me.
“Hey there.” His speech is slurred but upbeat.
I don't respond right away, hoping he will wander off somewhere else.
“Hey, girl, whatcha doing over there by yourself?”
I glance over my shoulder, seeing him stumble toward me. He is a new face to me, but there are far too many people at the party to keep track of everyone. I smile but don't reply. I know enough about intoxicated people that if you open that door to conversation you can never close it. It never fails, when there are drunk men around, they have balls of steel and think they can get every female into their bed. I stand, with Frank snoring in my arms, and try to make my way around the drunk since he is blocking my exit.
The mystery guy weaves into me and wraps his arm around my waist.
“No thanks.” I try pushing him off of me.
“Aw, come on. You're so damn pretty. I’m alone. You’re alone.” His breath reeks of beer and cigarette smoke.
“Thanks, but no thanks.” I take a few steps away and turn my back to him, hoping he'll get the picture and move on to someone who will be more receptive to his “classy” advances. When I feel his hands cup my ass and his lips press against my shoulder, I know this one might be a little harder to lose. I know I need to keep my cool, but my memories—ones I’ve never admitted to anyone—are rushing back no matter how hard I try to suppress them.
“Come on. You don't need to act so cold. My car is right outside.” His humid breath almost has me gagging in distaste. “We can go out there for like twenty minutes.”
“Like I said before, no thanks.” I am a little more forceful and shove him away, but his arm locks around me like a vice and my whole body tightens. Frank is up at this point, and growling at the guy.
He pulls my back against his chest and everything around me grows dark. Right now I’m not at my brother’s house, I am back in that room, the smell of sweat and alcohol surrounding me.
My own personal nightmare that I’ve never shared with anyone, that I am too afraid to even comprehend myself.
I can feel my heart rate increase, and I start sucking in air. It’s no use; I can't get enough into my lungs. I need to get out of here. I need to leave before I completely break down in front of everyone. The hands are suddenly off me and a deep, angry voice pierces through my terror.
“She said no, so fuck off.”
The sound of flesh slamming into flesh surrounds me, but I can't turn around; I am locked in my personal nightmare. Frank whines in my arms. The voice wraps around me again and I latch onto the sound, feeling myself slowly coming back to reality as it washes through me.
“Hey, are you okay?”
I feel hands on my shoulders but I don't find myself spiraling down that dark tunnel I have so many times before. I am gently turned around and I keep my eyes focused on the light blue t-shirt taking up my entire view. Ever so slowly my breathing returns to normal and I feel my heart take on a more natural rhythm. The guy who still has his hands on my shoulders doesn't rush me; he just lets me take my time getting through this. When I feel a semblance of courage, I lift my eyes up the massive, broad chest and look into pale blue eyes. Mouth gone dry, I try to focus on what has just happened and not the instantaneous reaction this stranger has on me.
“Are you okay?” His brows are pulled down tight over his eyes as he looks at me with an expression full of concern. His fingers are under my chin and gently lifting my head so I can stare into his eyes. I get lost in those eyes, but even though my panic attack is subsiding, I still feel slightly frantic.
“Hey.” His warm breath, that smells like sweet mint, brushes against my mouth. “Just breathe.”
Chapter 6
Skylar
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, willing myself to calm down.
I'm not there, not at that night where I almost lost so much of myself. I'm right here, with this amazing guy that I don't even know, but who somehow brought me down from a massive panic attack.
“What the fuck is going on?” Alex's angry voice snaps right through my haze and I turn my attention to my brother.
“Just pretend no one is around. It's just us,” this mystery guy says. We gaze into each other’s eyes again and I feel myself getting lost in his light blue depths. I know he is just trying to help me. Hell, I probably looked like a freak, spazzing out just because some guy touched me. But the past has a strong hold on me.
I don't know this guy’s name, but whoever he was, he brought me down from my attack.
“Dude, get the fuck away from her,” Holden says. I see his angry face over the stranger’s shoulder. They are the same height, which is impressive and intimidating since Holden is six foot three.
Everything and everyone around us freezes, and even through all this I can't take my gaze off of this strange guy who refuses to look away from me. I don't want to start a fight because it is clear Alex and Holden are upset over not knowing what actually happened. They hadn’t seen my meltdown, or the drunk who had started all of this. They are upset because of how the two of us look right now: my body pressed tightly against his, his hands on my shoulders, and me probably looking freaked the fuck out still. But I am a lot calmer than I’d been.
I step back and his hands fall away from me. Holden and Alex are by me, their big bodies slightly blocking me from this guy who has just saved me. I move to the side so I can still keep him in my sight, and feel my body heat further when I see him still watching me.
The connection I feel in this moment, the intensity, calmness, and the entire fact I don’t have that crushing despair in me, makes me feel euphoric, in a sense.
“Don’t fucking touch
her, Adrian.” Holden's voice is a low growl and I can't help but glance at him in confusion. Who is this guy? Holden has always been so easy going, and never have I heard him raise his voice.
“He helped me when a drunk had his hands all over me. I freaked out.” I take a deep breath and flick my gaze to the mystery guy. “Thank you for helping me.”
Alex shifts on his feet and clears his throat. “Some drunk had his hands on you? Who was he?” His voice is rising and I know this can only get worse.
I just need out of here.
“Can I please just go back to the dorm?”
“Aw, shit, Sky, I'm in no shape to drive anywhere. You can crash in my room if you want. I’ll take you back tomorrow.” Now that Alex doesn't sound so angry I can hear the slight slur in his voice.
I'm shaking my head before he even finishes. “No, I just want to go back.” I want out of this house. I want to lie in the silence of my tiny room and sleep this night away.
“I can take her.” Holden speaks up and takes a step toward me. “I’m sober and good to go. Come on, Skylar.” He grabs my hand and starts leading me toward the door.
“Wait.” I pull my hand out of his grasp and walk up to Adrian. “Thank you so much for all you did. You’ll never know what it means to me.” And he won’t. I smile, hoping he can see past my meltdown. “I'm Skylar, by the way.” I hold out my hand, and when he doesn't grab it right away I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment. But before I feel dejected Adrian grabs it and covers it with his big, warm hand.
I feel so tiny next to him as I crane my neck back and look into his face. Everything from his olive skin tone, short coal black hair, and amazing eyes has my heart racing. I have never had this intense type of reaction to a guy, especially not since that night four years ago. But looking at Adrian I feel … alive and safe.
His smile is warm, easing. “Are you sure you're okay?” The concern is laced in his voice and written all over his face.
“Yes, I am now, thanks to you.” I mean it too. I take my hand back and am instantly greeted with a sense of loss. The sensation is strange and I don't know how I feel about it. I shouldn't be having this type of reaction to a guy I just met, but I also don't want to dismiss these sensations, not when I haven't felt something like this before.