Memories Under the Mistletoe

by Dawn McClure

  His cell rang, slashing through the silence of the house and making him jump. He leaned over his tools to grab it off the floor, figuring it would be Mike. John had called his brother yesterday to ask why he hadn’t come over to Sophie’s to help move cattle, but Mike hadn’t answered. Of course Mike was busy. It was that time of year, and he had a family to be with. John…didn’t.

  But the name on the screen wasn’t Mike’s. It was Jessica again.

  This time he couldn’t hold back. Curiosity was killing him as to why she’d called the other day. He knew it wasn’t because she missed him. His house, maybe. His paycheck, certainly. But not him. Against his better judgment, he answered. “Hello.”

  “Oh. Hey. It’s Jessica.”

  She sounded surprised that he’d answered her call. That made two of them. “I know. Your number is still plugged into my phone so your name pops up when you call. What’s up?” He sounded short and disinterested, when in fact he wanted to know why she was calling. Wanted to know that Ben was okay.

  “I tried calling the other day. If you knew it was me why didn’t you pick up or call me back?”

  She’d broken up with him after cheating on him and then had moved several states away, and she was surprised he wasn’t taking her calls? Just because all of her and Ronnie’s communication had been on the phone, she’d still cheated. The woman had a lot of nerve asking him why he hadn’t answered her call. “What do you need, Jessica?” Because really, that’s what this all boiled down to.

  “I need…” she paused, as if weighing her words very carefully. “We need a place to stay.”

  He sat back on his heels, shocked she’d come out with the truth and not some bullshit lie. He didn’t miss how she’d reworded that statement either. Of course, if she used the word we then she might get a better answer from him. As if she had to remind him that she was Ben’s mother. She may be a lot of things, but she wasn’t stupid. She knew how much her son meant to him. “What happened? Ronnie didn’t measure up?”

  There was a pause on the other end. “He, uh. He don’t like Ben. He and Ben don’t get along at all.”

  John couldn’t believe what had just come out of her mouth. “He doesn’t like his own son?”

  This guy had to be ten times the fool and stupid to boot. Didn’t like his son? His own flesh and blood? What kind of man didn’t put his son above his own needs? Hell, John had done that very thing with Ben, and Ben wasn’t even his. It was something any normal adult would do without thought.

  Not to mention, Ben was a great kid. John couldn’t help but wonder if Ben had been acting out because he didn’t like his biological father. Maybe he’d been acting out because he’d missed him. At least his mother was stepping up and doing what was right for her son, and not for herself. That was a first.

  “Listen, I can’t get into all of this over the phone. Can I come and see you? I need to talk to you face to face.”

  Yeah, sure she did. So she could put her foot in the door. Because she knew once she was able to do that, there was no way in hell he’d kick them out. He couldn’t bring himself to do that to Ben. Yeah, just as he’d done before, he was going to put Ben’s needs before his own, unlike Ben’s father. John didn’t hesitate to ask, “Do you need money for travel?”

  “No. I have enough.”

  There was enough relief in her voice to aggravate him. But for him, this had nothing to do with her. If he didn’t help them out, where would that leave the child he’d come to care for? “Then I’ll see you when you get here.” Before he hung up he asked, “How is Ben doing? Is he okay?”

  “He wasn’t a big fan of Ronnie’s either. And yeah, he’s fine. He misses you.”

  John closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Ben was part of a package deal. Always had been. But he wasn’t a stray animal, and John couldn’t just keep him if he wanted. Couldn’t give Ben a little food and shelter and go on about his life. If he allowed Ben back into his life, Jessica would be living here as well. The fear would always be that she was in control. She made the decisions when it came to Ben, and rightly so.

  But where did that leave John in this scenario?

  John couldn’t live his life that way any longer, but he wasn’t about to say that over the phone. He’d help her get on her feet here in Pine Grove. Maybe she could get her job back at the bank and Ben could go back to the school where all his friends went.

  John didn’t think bringing Ben and his mother back into his home was the smart thing to do, but he’d house them until she got her act together. How could he turn away a child he’d grown to love? Who knew what would come of Ben if John didn’t help them out? He refused to think about it.

  He ended the call without asking her to put Ben on the line. If she changed her mind about coming back to Pine Grove the conversation would only serve to open the wound he’d hoped would heal at a faster rate. He couldn’t trust her.

  Tossing his phone on top of his wadded-up sweatshirt, he sat in the middle of the unfinished bedroom wondering just how many twists and turns his life could take in a few short days.

  He settled back against the wall, a forearm resting on an updrawn knee. Damn he felt tired. He didn’t particularly want to lay floor today. Ben’s leaving and Mel’s spontaneous return had done a number on him. He couldn’t lie to himself. Hell yeah he wanted to go over to Sophie’s and have brunch, and not because she was a great cook. Because her beautiful daughter was there. He wanted to see her. Wanted to hear her voice.

  He got to his feet abruptly. Going to brunch and seeing Mel would change nothing. It sure as hell wouldn’t get this floor laid. And now that Ben and Jessica would be back soon—Lord help him—he should get a few more things done around the house.

  Before he forgot, he texted Jessica about tomorrow’s impending storm. He didn’t want them to get caught up in that if her intention was to leave soon.

  Hell, the storm was the least of his worries now. He’d probably see Mel for the last time tomorrow. Likely for a minute or two. And he’d see a whole lot of Jessica in a few weeks.

  Strange how he’d love to switch those two fates around. But that was life for you.

  _______

  Mel sipped her beer, which they’d put in the heaviest mug she’d ever lifted. The sides of the mug had condensation running down the clear glass. The beer tasted fantastic. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a beer with dinner. She usually sipped on water or Chardonnay.

  Maryann had wanted to come to the small diner, because this was where they’d come when they were in high school. Best burgers on Main Street. Actually, the only burgers on Main Street. Back when they’d been in school, Mel had ordered malts with her burger and fries, but she wasn’t in the mood for a malt today.

  “He’s usually always at church,” Maryann said, referring to John. “But since his girlfriend up and left with her son, it’s kind of hit or miss when it comes to Sunday devotions. It’s too bad he wasn’t there today. We could have asked him to go to lunch with us.”

  Mel knew her mother had asked John to Sunday brunch twice, and he’d declined both times, which was why brunch at the Edwards had been canked.

  Mel kept her attention on her menu. It was only a two-sided piece of paper that had been badly laminated and was peeling in several places, but the food here at Bill’s was absolutely delicious. The beer alone was enough to keep her coming back. “I doubt he’d have come to lunch with us,” she said absently, the picture of the bacon cheeseburger on the menu catching her eye. A large beef patty smothered with melted cheese, topped with lettuce, tomato and onion stared back from the menu. Not usually the type of food she ordered, but she couldn’t take her eyes off the picture.

  How many calories could that be? Did she care?

  “Why do you say that?” Maryann asked. “Is there still bad feelings between the two of you?”

  Mel shook her head, thinking briefly on the last time she’d seen John. Bad feelings? More like mixed feelings. Feelings she
promised herself she wouldn’t think about. “We just grew apart. I mean, it wasn’t like some sloppy breakup.”

  Maryann snorted, drawing Mel’s gaze. “Maybe for you. But John was devasted when you left.”

  Surely Maryann didn’t believe that load of crap. Her break his heart? He’d gone to college early because he couldn’t wait to start that next chapter of his life. She’d mainly gone to California to protect herself. To take herself out of his equation. And once she was there, she’d seen first-hand all the ladies who’d gone and been stupid enough to get married. Hadn’t been long before they had rued the day. All that planning and giddiness when it came to their wedding day and honeymoon had eventually melted like butter on an asphalt street in July—quick and sloppy.

  She’d paid attention to the statistics. That’s why she was on the fence when it came to Liam’s proposal. Her cold feet had nothing to do with John. “I went to college,” she said, defending herself. “I didn’t leave him, I went to college,” she reiterated again, making sure Maryann understood. “There’s a difference.”

  Maryann, sitting there sipping her own beer in her Sunday best, gave her a deadpan look, clearly seeing through her bullshit. “Mel, you’d always planned to go to college where he did, then you suddenly changed your mind when you turned seventeen. You never did say why, but I kinda got the idea that it was because you wanted to leave him behind. I mean, you didn’t exactly hang out with anyone once he was gone. You just read a lot of books and stayed at home your junior and senior year, which prompted you to want to become a writer.”

  She’d decided to go to another college because she hadn’t wanted to see the life he’d built at the university he’d been attending. Didn’t want to see all the girls who no doubt knew him and talked to him on a daily basis. She hadn’t wanted to see it—or feel it. “California held more opportunities for me.”

  “I thought you were in love with John back then?”

  I was. Apparently she’d loved herself more. “So, what’s good here? I haven’t been here in ages.”

  “It’s been years, Mel. Is he really that touchy of a subject?”

  Mel set her menu down with a grimace. This used to be her best friend. Her co-conspirator. And in that sense, she wanted to run something by her. “So yesterday he helped me and my brothers move cattle. Afterward, in the barn, he overheard me tell my boyfriend that I loved him over my cell. He acted…hurt by what he’d heard me say.” Which both made—and didn’t make—sense. She was so confused about this entire situation. “I mean, we haven’t seen each other in years, let alone been a couple.”

  She decided to leave out the jealousy she’d felt when she’d learned of Jessica.

  “Well, Mel, as much as you like to deny it, you broke his heart, plain and simple. Plus he just lost his girlfriend and her child, and those two were—”

  “Inseparable. I know.” She was so tired of the visuals her mind tried to dredge up where that woman was concerned. Smith was her last name. Mel had broken down and asked Brian. There were a million Jessica Smiths on Facebook, and Mel’s sleuthing skills apparently sucked. That was two hours of her life she’d never get back.

  “Do you really love your boyfriend?”

  Mel made a face. “Of course I do.” She wished she had a picture of Liam on her phone. He was hot. Had money. Like Cindy said, what in the hell was there not to like? Or love, in this case. Yes, love.

  She still hadn’t told her family about him. She’d tell them tomorrow morning. Everyone was going to meet at the café early to set everything up and make sure all the decorations and preparations were perfect. Yes. She’d tell them then.

  “Well, maybe you should steer clear of John. He’s been through a lot lately, and I doubt seeing you again after all these years helped. If he looked upset after hearing you talk to your boyfriend, then that wound you left him with hasn’t completely healed.”

  Wound she’d left him with? “I guess I never saw it quite the way you do. I didn’t hurt him. We grew apart. It was mutual.” Sure, she’d gone to a different college than the one he’d been attending, but he hadn’t cared. Not really. Men usually didn’t.

  “Mel, I don’t know what drove you to leave South Dakota, but I can tell you right now, you left behind a brokenhearted boy. Whether you choose to believe me or not, you can go ahead and ask someone else. You broke his heart.”

  The waiter stopped by their table and took their order. Mel grew silent, listening to Maryann go on about the vacation her family was taking to Disney World in March. Maryann talked about how it was a slow time for the popular amusement park during that month, and that the lines would be shorter, blah blah blah.

  Broke his heart? Mel couldn’t get past what Maryann had said, which was why she wasn’t catching everything her excited friend was saying about how much money her and her husband were saving because they’d booked an all-inclusive through some travel site.

  Broke his heart? Hardly. Mel would never look at it that way. He’d broken her heart, if anything.

  But none of it mattered. He’d gone his way and she’d gone hers. All of this was in the past.

  Problem was, now that she was here closing chapters, most of what she’d felt toward him all those years ago suddenly seemed fresh.

  Chapter 10

  Mel glanced out of the windows of the Espresso Café for the fiftieth time that evening. Just as predicted, the storm was rolling in on Christmas Eve while the residents of Pine Grove celebrated on Main Street. Instead of sleet, a heavy, dense blanket of snow was beginning to cover the ground, trees and buildings. It was beautiful outside, and not too chilly. The temperature was supposed to drop off and the wind was supposed to pick up in a few hours to create blizzard conditions, but by then everyone attending Christmas Eve on Main Street would be home in front of the fire. The day couldn’t have turned out more perfect.

  Mel hadn’t seen John since Saturday, the day he’d left the ranch after hearing her conversation with Liam. Between his reaction to hearing her tell Liam she loved him, and her own reaction to learning he’d basically been married with a kid for a few years, Mel was questioning everything. Cindy, usually so wise and spot-on when it came to giving Mel advice, might have dropped the ball this time. Mel hadn’t romanticized the past. John was as funny, hard-working and as thoughtful as he’d been when they were in high school.

  And he wasn’t fat or bald.

  But unlike her sixteen-year-old self, she was looking at her future in a mature, responsible way. Even though she was trying to get a glimpse of him from across a snowy street like a freaky little stalker, she knew John would never be an option. Could never be an option. For one, they didn’t even live in the same state, and two, she doubted they wanted the same things for their future.

  Maybe she should just take Maryann’s advice and steer clear of him.

  John might make her heart skip a beat, but that was no reason to say no to Liam’s proposal. The actor who played Aquaman made her heart skip a beat too, and for some reason the Mayhem Guy in those insurance commercials.

  But whatever. She and Liam made more sense. She couldn’t stay here, and John would be more likely to fart darts before he’d agree to move to California. He preferred the country to the city.

  She quickly finished wiping down the table she’d been cleaning and moved on to the next. People were coming in and out of the café, one of the favorite stops on Main Street for the adults, because they could get a hot cup of coffee or cocoa while their kids were spoiled by her mother.

  And the café looked amazing. Beautiful, twinkling strands of white lights, a large Douglas Fir by the window, the aroma of coffee, chocolate and cinnamon, and traditional Christmas music in the background—there was no doubt in Mel’s mind that her mother would get the Christmas Eve plaque from the city council this year. Mel had already checked out all the other businesses—minus the hardware store for obvious reasons—and the Espresso Café was hands down the most festive.

  The free
hot chocolate for kids wouldn’t hurt.

  She glanced toward the window again and saw a familiar face peeking back at her. But even though the eyes were the same, it wasn’t John, the person she’d been hoping to see.

  Mel waved at Sarah, who smiled and waved back. She was holding Mike’s hand, and it looked like they were waiting for Santa to come down Main Street in the firetruck. Mike wore a heavy, brown Carhartt jacket, and Sarah had on her pink winter jacket and her knitted cap. Mike’s wife, Christine, was on the other side of Sarah.

  They made such a cute family.

  “Honey, I’m going to put your laptop in my office. I’ll put it by my purse so we don’t forget it when we leave. I just want to make certain it’s in a safe place. It’ll put my mind at ease.”

  Mel nodded absently, her gaze on the scene just outside the café’s window. So many of her family and friends were out there right now, singing Christmas carols, munching on Christmas goodies, and waiting for Santa to arrive in the fire truck. Many of them had families. It made her yearn to stay. Made her want a family of her own.

  Right now Liam was celebrating Christmas with his family in Lake Tahoe. She could have family. In fact, if she said yes to Liam’s proposal, her extended family would grow exponentially, since his family was so large. If she wouldn’t have come home, she would have been with him and that close-knit family he was going to offer her through marriage. Likely looking out at Lake Tahoe from inside his parent’s impressive home at this very moment, snuggled under a cashmere blanket.

  Instead, she was staring out of a window in the hope of seeing a man who had never been, and would never be, the one for her.