Sade's Secret

by Sparkle

“Joyce, Sade told me what happened. I know the last time we talked we were both a little heated. I'm not going to let you go through this alone. I'm here to take you wherever you want.”

  “I want to go home,” I said.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” I turned to Sade. “Thank you, baby. Now can you go out and tell the nurse my ride's here so I can get out of here? I hate hospitals.”

  “Mama, you work at a hospital,” Sade said.

  “I know. That's why I hate them.”

  We all laughed. I stopped laughing because it hurt my chest to laugh. Sade left out to get the nurse.

  “Good to see you still got your sense of humor,” Maddie commented.

  I pushed my pride to the side and said, “Thanks for coming.”

  “Let's forget that it ever happened.” Maddie assisted me and helped me sit further up in the bed.

  With the events of the last few days, the tension between Sade and me and the pain I was in, I couldn't hold it together any longer. I broke down crying. “Maddie, I don't know what to do. I never thought it would get to this. I don't know what to do. On one hand I love him, but this.” Joyce looked down at her bruised body. “This here isn't love.”

  Maddie rushed to my side and placed a gentle hand on my back to comfort me. “I can have Frank meet us at your place and you can tell Calvin to get his stuff and leave.”

  “That's just it, Maddie. I don't want Calvin to go. What's wrong with me? Why can't I let him go?” More tears flowed down my face. Something had to be wrong for me to let this man do this to me. He was causing me pain and the fact that I loved him was causing a divide between my daughter and me.

  “You have to or it could be deadly.”

  “Don't say that.”

  Maddie looked down at me. I could see the disappointed look on her face, but I could also see the concern. “What more has to happen? He's beating you. He's molesting your daughter. What else does he have to do before you get that man out of your life?” Maddie asked.

  Before I could respond, Sade and a nurse walked in the room. The nurse said, “Ms. Washington, someone told me you were ready to go.”

  Maddie handed me a tissue. I wiped my face. “Yes, ma'am. I'm ready.”

  “Well, I'm here to take you to your waiting chariot,” the friendly nurse said.

  During the ride home, Maddie reminded me of why we were friends. She always had a way of making you forget your problems. She got me caught up on the neighborhood gossip. I'm sure I was part of the gossip too, but Maddie kept that tidbit to herself.

  Maddie helped Sade get me to the apartment. “If you need me for anything, call me. I mean it.

  “Hey, Maddie. Long time no see,” Calvin said as if everything was cool.

  Maddie was startled and so was Joyce when they heard Calvin's voice come up behind Maddie.

  “Hey, Calvin. I was just going. Take care of your wife. She needs plenty of tender, loving care.”

  “Oh, I'm going to handle mine. Believe that,” Calvin said, with a smug look on his face.

  “Joyce, I got to go. Call me if you need anything.” Maddie turned and left.

  I wanted to scream out to Maddie not to leave, but knew that I couldn’t. Seeing Calvin brought up the memory of him beating me. When I looked into his face, I no longer saw the man I loved and adored, he looked like an animal, a beast. The smile that was once sexy to me, seemed like it was mocking me, as he walked to the bed and bent down to kiss me.

  I turned my head and Calvin's lips landed on my cheek. “Glad you're home. I've missed you,” he said.

  “I couldn't tell.”

  “You know how I feel about hospitals,” he responded.

  I opened my mouth to respond, but knew it was useless to say anything to Calvin. Calvin was all about self. Too bad it took me marrying him to figure that out. Instead, I leaned back on the pillow and drifted off to sleep.

  ~38~

  SADE

  At eight months pregnant, boys should have been the last thing on my mind, but I couldn't stop thinking about Brandon. He had become a very important part of my life these last few months. Because of issues that had nothing to do with him, I couldn't trust my feelings, but I simply adored him. We talked on the phone every day and met before school, during lunch, and after school before my bus left every day.

  Brandon caught me off guard one night over the phone. “Sade, I know there are probably a lot of guys still trying to hit on you.”

  “That would be a negative,” I responded.

  “I'm surprised. You're one of the most beautiful girls in the school.”

  “Uh oh. What do you want Brandon?” I asked as I polished my fingernails.

  “I want you to be my girl,” he responded.

  I messed up my nails. This was the last thing I expected him to say. Was I dreaming? “Brandon, I'm pregnant. What would it look like you with a pregnant girlfriend?”

  “I don't care what other people think. They can't tell me how I feel or how to live my life. Sade, I really like you and I want you to be my girl.”

  “I'm going to be honest with you, Brandon. I've never really had a boyfriend before.”

  “How could that be? You're pretty. You're smart. I don't believe you.”

  I responded, “I've never had a real boyfriend. Sure, guys have tried to push up on me, but none have ever asked me to be his girlfriend.”

  I couldn't bring myself to tell Brandon the real reason why I had never had a boyfriend. Because of the things Calvin did to me, until recently, I never had a desire to be tied down to one boy. Plenty of boys tried to get with me, but I made it a point to keep them at a distance. Something about Brandon wouldn't allow me to treat him like the others. I wanted Brandon close. I couldn't believe I was about to do this, but before I could lose my nerves, I said, “Brandon, I'll be happy to be your girl.”

  “Yesss!” Brandon yelled from the other end of the phone. “I promise to make you happy.”

  “You already have.” If Brandon only knew how happy he made me. I smiled.

  “My dad's letting me use his car this weekend, so Friday after school, let me take you home...well out for a burger or something and then home.”

  “It's a date,” I responded.

  My mom walked in the room. I don't know how long she had been listening to my conversation. She said, “Young lady, you're too young to be dating.”

  “Brandon, let me call you back.” Without waiting for him to respond, I hung up the phone.

  “Mom, I'll be sixteen in two weeks. Besides Brandon is just not any ol' body. He's my boyfriend.”

  She exhaled. “It's about time you told me who your baby's daddy is.”

  “No, mom. You got it twisted. Brandon is just my boyfriend. And for the record he and I have never had sex.”

  She said, “I don't know if this is a conversation I want to have.”

  “Well, you assumed he was the daddy, so I'm just making it clear.”

  “I need you to meet Maddie downstairs and pick up the prescription she got for me.”

  “Is she out there now?” I asked.

  “She'll be here in about ten minutes.”

  “Why can't Calvin do it?”

  “Young lady, either you're going to do it or not.”

  “Mom, I'm going to do it. I'm just saying. You all up in my kool-aid about Brandon so I'm trying to figure out why Calvin can't go pick it up from Ms. Maddie or why Ms. Maddie even had to go get your medicine in the first place.”

  “Sade, just go get my medicine from Maddie, please.”

  I didn't speak back this time. I did as I was told. I thought about Brandon. He seemed to be totally opposite of Calvin. Brandon's gentleness in his speech and dealings with me always made me feel at ease.

  Maddie blew the horn when she pulled up in front of the apartment complex. I got up from the stoop and walked over to the car. “Hi Ms. Maddie.”

  “Hi Sade. Tell your mom to call me.”

  “Okay,” I r
esponded as I took the white prescription bag.

  “How's she really doing?” Maddie asked.

  “She's alright. Just in pain every now and then,” I responded.

  “He hasn't touched...”

  Before she could finish, I cut her off. “No.”

  I hadn't lied to Maddie. Not since the day in the kitchen had Calvin touched me, but I didn't feel like going into that incident with her. I waved at her and then turned and walked back up the walkway. I moved slowly up the stairs for two reasons. The baby was kicking and caused me a little discomfort and because I dreaded going back into the lion's den.

  ~39~

  JOYCE

  I stood in the hallway right outside the living room and watched Sade and Brandon interacting with one another. This was the first boy Sade had openly showed interest in so I was curious to see what type of boy would date a girl that was clearly pregnant with another boy's child.

  I decided to make myself known so I cleared my throat and walked in the living room. Sade and Brandon both looked in my direction.

  Sade said, “Brandon, this is my mom.” Sade looked at me. “Mom, this is Brandon.”

  Brandon stood up and extended his hand. I shook it. “Nice to meet you.”

  He has manners, I thought. I responded, “Nice to meet you too, Brandon. Have y'all eaten anything?”

  “Yes, we stopped at Mickey D's,” Sade responded.

  That's when I noticed the empty wrappers that had once contained food. “Brandon, tell me about you.”

  I took the liberty of taking a seat in the chair as I waited for him to respond.

  Brandon looked directly at me. “Not much to tell. My parents are divorced. I have two brothers. I'm the baby of the family and I live with my mother not too far from here.”

  “What's your mom's name? I might know her,” I said.

  “Katherine Moss,” Brandon responded.

  “Katherine Moss,” Joyce repeated. “I don't know her, but maybe we'll get to know each other now that you and my daughter are dating.”

  “Mom!” Sade said.

  “I'm just saying. Anyway, Brandon, it's nice to meet you. As long as you keep Sade happy, I'm happy. Understood.”

  “Yes ma'am. You don't have to worry about a thing. I'm crazy about your daughter.”

  I noticed the gleam in Brandon's eyes when he looked at Sade. “Y'all go ahead and do what y'all were doing. I'm going to go back to my room and relax a little.”

  Once I was snuggled under my covers, it didn't take long for me to doze off to sleep. I felt the bed shaking. I woke up. “Calvin?” I asked as I opened my eyes.

  “Did you know that Sade had a man in the house?”

  “He's seventeen years old. He's still a kid and yes, I knew.”

  “She's too young to be dating,” Calvin snapped.

  “She's about to be sixteen and she's about to be a mama so I think we're a little too late to worry about boys.” I stretched and then sat up in the bed.

  “That boy is not welcomed here.”

  “Brandon seems to be a nice young man and I don't want my daughter sneaking off to meet him, so Calvin, he can come over here anytime he wants. As long as it’s during decent hours.”

  “Not if I have anything to do about it.”

  Calvin marched towards the door. I got up and raced behind him. “Calvin, what are you doing?”

  “I'm going to tell him to leave my house.”

  “The last time I checked, this was 'our' home so I say he stays. If you go out there and embarrass Sade, I promise you I will not forgive you.”

  Calvin stopped and hesitated. “Fine. When she ends up getting hurt, I don't want to hear you moaning about it.” Calvin turned back around and walked to his side of the bed.

  Sade seemed to have some form of happiness with Brandon. I hadn't been too good at making her happy lately so I refused to let Calvin take that away from Sade. Until I could figure out how to get them to squash the beef between them, I would try to keep them apart and happy separately.

  ***

  Maddie and I sat across from each other in the living room. Maddie said, “You're looking much better.”

  “I feel better too. I'm glad I was able to get a few more days off. I think my body needed the rest.” I poured us both a drink.

  “How's Calvin been acting?”

  “Oh, he got some act right. He must realize I'm not going to take no more of his abuse.” I don't think Maddie believed me, but it sounded good.

  Maddie gulped down her drink and held her glass out for another refill. “Fill her up.”

  I did just that and an hour later, we had drank an entire bottle of rum.

  “That's some good stuff there,” Maddie's words slurred.

  “Maddie, can I confess something to you?” I said. I stood up, but felt a little dizzy, so I plopped back down on the sofa.

  “Confessions are good for the soul. Well that's what they tell me.” Maddie burst out laughing.

  “I think Calvin's cheating on me. He's hardly ever here. He's supposed to be paying the bills, but things have been being cut off. I think I made a huge mistake marrying him.”

  “Well, hallelujah. She finally woke up.” Maddie threw her hands up in the air.

  “Maddie, I'm serious. I'm not joking. I've made a huge mistake and its tearing me apart.”

  “My cousin's boyfriend sister is a lawyer. I can get her number for you so you can start the divorce proceedings.”

  “Hold up. Who said anything about divorce? Besides, I can't afford no attorney.”

  Maddie sat up. “Didn't you just say you made a mistake? I thought you wanted to correct it.”

  “I said I made a mistake. I didn't say I wanted to end my marriage. I take my vows seriously. It says until death do us part and that's exactly what I plan on doing.”

  “Until your death.’Cause if you stay with him, as sure as my name is Maddie Jackson, that man of yours is going to kill you.”

  Maddie's words sobered me up. “Maddie, are you okay to drive home? It's getting late. Calvin will probably be here any minute and since you two don't seem to like each other, it's probably best you get going.”

  “Are you kicking me out?” Maddie gathered her purse and keys.

  I lied. I really wanted her to go. “Of course not.”

  I had gotten rid of Maddie just in the nick of time. Fifteen minutes after Maddie left, Calvin walked in the apartment. I could smell the liquor on Calvin's breath as he approached my side of the bed.

  “Brush your teeth first.” I eased my head back.

  “You know you want this.” Calvin pulled me towards him and kissed me anyway. “Looks like I'm not the only one whose been drinking.”

  I wiped my mouth. “But, my breath doesn’t stink. Please, go brush your teeth or at least gargle with some mouthwash.”

  “Fine. Anything to please you, baby.”

  “Yeah, right,” I said under my breath as he walked out of the living room towards the bathroom. I wanted him to brush his teeth because I had no idea who he was with or what he was doing, but one thing was for sure, tonight he wouldn't be doing me because as soon as I laid my head on the pillow, I was out cold.

  ~40~

  SADE

  From the outside of the building, it looked like a regular office building. No one would have suspected that inside was a state of the art studio manned by one of Dallas’s hottest music producers, Manchu. He sat behind the console while Crystal, Dena, and I went into the sound booth.

  I stood behind the microphone and sang, “Ooh boy, I love you so. Making me want to never let you go.”

  Crystal repeated the note by singing, “Let you go.”

  Manchu turned on the intercom. “Sade, I need for you to hold the word go and then Crystal you come in with 'let you go.' Let's try it again.”

  We did as we were told. At the end of recording those stanzas, Dena spit out her verse of rhymes.

  Manchu said, “Give me about fifteen minutes, and I
'll let y'all hear something. Food and drinks in the back.”

  Jada said, “Ya'll that song is on fire. Sade, you got some chops girl.”

  I beamed with pride. I was thinking of Brandon when I wrote those lyrics. Manchu read the lyrics and came up with the perfect beat. Fifteen minutes later, Manchu played the song over. “That's it,” Dena yelled.

  Manchu agreed. “Ladies, let me work on this a little and we got something to take to the record company. This sounds like a hit to me.”

  We gave each other high-fives. Manchu said, “Watch it lil' momma, don't want to hurt your baby now.”

  I responded, “I still have about two more months.”

  “You hope. Looks like your stomach got bigger overnight,” Jada said.

  “I know. It feels like it too.” I rubbed my stomach.

  “Hey, little one. Your auntie Dena is going to spoil you.” Dena rubbed my stomach.

  “Can we get a copy of the song?” Jada asked.

  Manchu said, “I'm really not supposed to do that, but since this is your first and I know you young ladies are excited, I will, but on one condition.”

  “What? We'll do anything?” Crystal answered for all of us.

  “You can't make copies. We don't want to chance someone making bootleg copies and selling them on the streets. Our goal is to get Adore on the radio and people buying your music legitimately.”

  Manchu made us all copies of the song and we couldn't wait to hear how it sounded on Jada's booming system. We rushed to the car. Jada blasted our song in the car as soon as she got behind the steering wheel. “Man, we’re going to be rich,” Jada said as she rocked to the song as she drove.

  “It sounds just as good or if not better than the songs K104 is playing,” Dena said.

  I listened to them talk about our new song while Brandon and me began to text each other back and forth. Jada dropped Dena off first and then me. Brandon was waiting outside of my apartment complex when we pulled up.

  “Who is that cute boy there?” Jada asked as she eased the car up behind Brandon's father car.

  Brandon was leaning on the car looking like a tall, dark piece of chocolate. Chardonnay stood nearby.

  “That's our girl’s new boyfriend,” Crystal said.