Sade's Secret

by Sparkle

  While Joyce was trying to figure out what was wrong with the gun, I grabbed my cell phone and searched for my backpack. It wasn't in the room so it could only be in one other place. I left my mom alone with Calvin. The backpack was right there by the couch where I left it. I dumped the contents of the backpack on the living room table until I saw what I was looking for. I found the card with Officer Parish's contact information and dialed her cell phone number. After making her realize who I was, I said, “Can you come? We need you right away.” I walked back to my room. I stood in the doorway as me and Officer Parish talked.

  “What happened?” Officer Parish asked.

  “Calvin tried to rape me and my mama shot him in self defense.”

  “I'm on my way. Don't call anyone else. I'll handle this,” Officer Parish assured me.

  “Sade, you shouldn't have done that,” my mom said.

  “Mama, he's not worth it. Come on. The police will be here. We can tell them everything and we can finally be rid of him.”

  I looked at Calvin who was crunched up on the floor in the blood that had seeped from his body. He groaned as pain ripped through his body. Calvin reached out towards me when I walked by him. I kicked his hand away. “Die already.”

  ~49~

  JOYCE

  I sat down on Sade's bed. My hand was shaking as I placed the gun down next to me.

  Calvin reached out to me. “Call nine-one-one,” he cried out.

  “I don't have a phone near me,” I responded.

  Calvin yelled, “Please, Joyce. My back is hurting. I can't move.”

  My body shook as I spoke. “Do you think I care? After all the shit you've done to my daughter.”

  “I'm sorry Joyce. Just call the ambulance, please.”

  “I'm not calling nobody. You can bleed to death as far as I'm concerned.”

  “Joyce, come on. Baby, I'm hurting.” Calvin laid flat on his back in the pool of blood. I could tell he was in pain by the sound of his voice and the pained look on his face.

  I blinked my eyes a few times. “Does it look like I care?”

  “I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to happen. It just happened.”

  “Running out of bath tissue just happens. Sleeping with your woman's daughter, no, doesn't just happen. You got to have a sick perverted mind to do what you did.”

  “It's not what you think, Joyce. Just hear me out.” Calvin groaned.

  Calvin’s body curled up in pain. Seeing him in pain didn't move me to help him.

  I was angry with him and angry with myself for not recognizing that I allowed a monster around my daughter all of these years. “I trusted you. I trusted my baby girl around you. You stole her innocence. You've ruined my little girl's life.”

  “It's not as bad as you make it out to be,” Calvin managed to say.

  I had enough. Before I realized it, I had stood up and spat on Calvin. “Calvin, are you serious? You've been raping my little girl.”

  “Don't say that.” Calvin looked up at me.

  “It's what you did. Now she's going to have to live with it for the rest of her life. And me.” I was losing strength in my body so I sat back down on the bed. “She told me and I took up for you. What kind of mother does that make me?”

  Calvin's cold black eyes stared back at me. “You knew. How could you have not known?”

  “I didn't know anything?” I shook my head back and forth.

  “You mentioned the foul odor coming from Sade's room on more than one occasion, so don't go trying to fool yourself. You knew. You were just in denial,” Calvin said.

  I rocked myself back and forth as I listened to Calvin. He's right. I recalled smelling the odor, but it never dawned on me it was because of my little girl and my man having sex. Instead of answering his questions, I said, “I hope you rot in hell for the things you've done to my girl.”

  “You'll be right there with me for being a rotten mom.”

  Calvin's words cut me to the core. I should have paid closer attention to Sade, but most importantly, when Sade told me that Calvin was her baby's daddy, I should have believed her. But instead of believing her, I was hell bent on proving Sade wrong.

  I'm fortunate that Sade really didn't mean she hated me. That she only told me that out of anger. Fortunately, Sade never turned her back on me, even when I hadn't been a good mom to her. I cried and the tears blinded me. Through blurry eyes, I watched Calvin squirm around on the floor. The sight of him made me want to crush his face in with my bare foot.

  Calvin had fooled me with his pretty boy smile and smooth talking ways. Others hinted to me about Calvin being a user and womanizer, but I never wanted to believe it. I took Calvin for his word, but Calvin wasn't a man of honor. I worked long hours to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, while Calvin had it on easy street. Over and over, I made excuse after excuse for why Calvin wouldn't go out and do what most real men would do--take care of their families. The time Calvin had stolen from me couldn't be gotten back. Calvin ruined two lives; three lives because that included Sade's unborn child.

  A moment of epiphany took my mind back to when I should have suspected Calvin's treacherous behavior started. The day I came home from working the graveyard shift and saw the blood on Sade's sheets. No wonder it was three years before Sade actually started her period.

  I felt a panic attack coming on. I took a few deep breaths to control my breathing. What if I hadn't heard Sade's cries while I slept earlier? The sound of Sade's cries jolted me out of my sleep. I retrieved the gun Maddie had given me when she stopped by earlier. I had hidden in a box and had placed it under my bed. When I heard Sade scream, I grabbed it out of the box and rushed to Sade's room.

  When I saw Calvin standing over Sade, I snapped. I didn't think twice about it. I immediately pulled the trigger and the bullets pierced Calvin in the back. If he didn’t fall when he did, I would have shot several more rounds. The sight of him about to rape my pregnant daughter was enough to make anyone snap in my opinion. I kept scanning my mind for memories. Tried to figure out what clues were left that I overlooked while this happened right under my nose.

  Angry and disgusted, I asked, “I want to know why, Calvin. Why my daughter? Why hurt her? Why hurt me?”

  “I don't know, Joyce. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt Sade.”

  I threw a pillow off the bed at Calvin. “Don't ever mention her name again.”

  “I really am sorry.”

  Nothing Calvin said made sense to me now. I didn't want to hear it. I picked up the gun off the bed and aimed it at Calvin's head. I hoped it was no longer jammed because I wanted to put Calvin down for good and maybe, just maybe, the pain I was feeling would go away.

  “Mom, don't,” Sade walked in the room and said, just in time.

  ~50~

  SADE

  Officer Parish walked in behind me and said, “Ms. Washington, put the gun down. He's not worth you going to jail over.”

  “Oh, she's going to jail for shooting me,” Calvin yelled.

  “Mama, please. I need you here with me. Put the gun down.”

  “I'm sorry baby. I didn't know. I really didn't know.” my mom cried as she eased the gun down.

  I ran up to her and we hugged and cried.

  Officer Parish used her attached walkie-talkie and said, “We need an ambulance. I'm in Fair Parks Heights. Apartment two sixteen.”

  My mom asked, “Am I under arrest?” My mom held on to my arm.

  “No, but he is for trying to rape your daughter.” Officer Parish read Calvin his Miranda Rights. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in court.”

  While Officer Parish was dealing with Calvin, I said to my mama, “I'm scared mama.” I knew I had just turned sixteen, but I felt like the scared little ten-year-old from six years ago.

  Officer Parish motioned for us to follow her out the room. We did as we were told. Officer Parish said, “I should have called for backup and paramedics
when Sade called me, but I didn't because I wanted to check out the seriousness of the situation first.” She looked at my mom. “Although I don't condone what you did, as a woman and a mother, I understand why you did it.”

  “But what if the other officers arrest me? What's going to happen to Sade?”

  “If you two trust me, you both will be here tonight. But you got to trust me, okay?” Officer Parish asked.

  My mom responded, “We'll do whatever you like.”

  I shook my head in agreement.

  Officer Parish said, “I want you to both agree that I happened to stop by because you were ready to give me a statement about Calvin. I just happen to show up when you caught him trying to rape Sade.”

  “Calvin's going to say something different. I know it,” my mom said.

  “Nobody is going to believe him because it'll be three of us saying the same thing verses him. Calvin can say what he wants, but he's going to the hospital and when he gets out, he's going straight to jail.”

  “Without me there to support him. He's on his own,” my mom said.

  Officer Parish said to us, “Have a seat and rest your nerves. In a few minutes this place is going to be swarmed with police and probably news media too.”

  I looked at my mom. “I don't want to talk to anybody.”

  She said to me, “You must because they need to know I shot him to protect you.”

  The rage and pain from over the years rose out of me. In a harsh voice, I said, “Mama, you were a little late. Look at the results of him doing this to me.”

  “Baby, I'm so sorry. If I would have known, I would have let you get an abortion.”

  “That's just it. I told you he was the daddy and you wouldn't believe me. You took his word over mine. How do you think that made me feel?”

  She looked away in shame. “I don't know what to say.”

  “You were there this time, but how about all of those other times when I needed you. When my eyes pled for you to help me.”

  “Why didn't you tell me? I would have stopped him then.”

  “Calvin threatened to kill you. I loved you mama. I still do. Even when you didn't care enough for me to protect me, I still loved you.”

  I let the tears fall down my face. My mom cried too. We ended up holding each other, as the years of pain and guilt released itself through our tears. Knocks were heard at the door. Officer Parish opened the door and showed the paramedics where Calvin was and she took the lead with talking to her colleagues.

  Two plain-clothes detectives wanted to talk to me alone, while another detective interviewed my mother. I made sure I stuck with the script. I repeated to them the exact same thing Officer Parish had told me to say. One of the detectives asked me, “Was this the first time he tried to attack you?”

  It was hard for me to revisit that space in time. I could no longer look in the detectives face. My mom returned where I was seated I and squeezed her hand. “It's okay, baby. Tell them. Tell them so you can be free of that monster.”

  I took a deep breath. My eyes glossed over as my mind drifted back to the time it all started. I shared with them when it began and why I never told. By the time I was through telling the story, there was not a dry eye in the room.

  The detective said, “I assure you that we're going to prosecute him to the fullest. Ms. Washington, don't worry about a thing. You protected your daughter. I don't see the DA filing any charges against you.”

  I sighed with relief. Calvin had taken so much from me. To hear the detective say my mom wouldn't be arrested helped me relax just a little. When the officers got ready to leave, I saw a few of the local media outside the door.

  One of the reporters was heard saying, “We just want to talk to the mama. Mr. Thomas gave an interview. We want to get the wife's story.”

  Officer Parish said, “I got this.”

  My mom seemed relieved. Neither one of us was up for talking to the media. Officer Parish walked out of the apartment and faced the media in the hallway.

  I sat down beside my mom on the couch as she turned the television to the twenty-four hours news station. We watched in amazement the live broadcast held right outside of our apartment. Even with all of the chaos outside, I finally felt like there was a sense of order in my life--with Calvin gone, my nightmare was finally over.

  ~51~

  JOYCE

  I cringed when I saw Calvin holler out to the reporter. “I'm a victim and they are trying to make me out to be some monster. The mother's crazy and the daughter is too.”

  “He's such a liar,” Sade said.

  Officer Parish answered a few questions from the reporters. “Mr. Thomas is being charged with indecency with a child, statutory rape, and assault. If you have any other questions, please filter them to Detective Jenkins. He'll be handling this case. Thank you for respecting the family as they deal with this difficult situation.”

  I turned in the direction of the front door as Officer Parish walked in. She looked at us and said, “Ladies, if you're all squared away here, I'll be going.”

  I got up and walked up to her. “Thank you for everything. I don't think I would have been able to get through these last few hours if you hadn't showed up when you did.”

  “Told you, I've been there.” Officer Parish looked at Sade. “You take care of yourself and that baby of yours.”

  “Yes, ma'am,” Sade responded.

  “I'm about to go home to my kids and my new husband. Yes, I got a good man this time.” Officer Parish whispered to me. “Don't waddle in self-pity. You said you didn't know, but now that you do, just make sure you do the right thing from this day forward. We all make mistakes.”

  “But look at my baby girl. How could I have not known?” I asked.

  “I don't have the answers, but I do know that we can't change the past. I'm going to keep you in my prayers.”

  I did what came naturally and hugged Officer Parish. “May God bless you.”

  Officer Parish left. I locked both of the locks on the front door. My phone rang off the hook. By now, most people I knew had seen the newscasts on at least one of the television stations. After Maddie called three times in a row, I picked up.

  “Calvin, couldn't go away quietly, he wanted to bring shame on us even more,” I told Maddie. Frustrated and upset that Calvin turned on me so quick.

  “I'm just glad you finally got rid of him, but girl, did you have to shoot him?” Maddie laughed.

  I laughed too. “If it was up to me, he would have been going out of here in a body bag, but the plea in Sade's eyes is what stopped me from pulling the trigger and shooting him in the head.”

  “I'm glad you didn't because he's not worth you spending the rest of your life in prison. He'll now get everything he deserves.”

  I ended the call with Maddie. Sadie was fast asleep on the couch. I retrieved a blanket from the hallway closet and wrapped it over Sade's body. I was tired, but couldn't rest. Calvin's imprint was all over this place; especially our bedroom. I went to the kitchen, got trash bags, and started filling the bags up with Calvin's stuff.

  Calvin's cell phone kept beeping. I picked it up off the dresser and scanned it. I saw several text messages from various people. Some seemed to be women he was messing with. “Lisa, looks like he was playing you too,” I said.

  I was about to toss it in the bag with his other stuff, but decided to keep it just in case I needed it to give to the police. I don't know where my extra energy came from, but I didn't stop until I had all I could find of Calvin's stuff in the bags. I knew it was too early in the morning to be calling anyone, but I didn't care. I dialed Michael, Calvin's friend. He was sleep, but when he realized it was me, he talked. “Joyce, I heard about what happened. Is there anything I can do?” Michael sleepily asked.

  “Yes, please come by here in the morning and get your boys stuff out of my house.”

  “What do you want me to do with it?” he asked.

  “Burn it for all I care. I just need it out
.”

  “Okay. I'll bring some of our friends and help move it.”

  “And Mike?” I said.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you know where I can hawk some jewelry?”

  “I got you. I'll get it sold and bring you the money,” Michael assured me.

  “You can keep it or better yet, donate it to a women's shelter in Calvin's memory.”

  I pulled the comforter and both sheets off the bed and threw them in a trash bag. “I never liked that comforter anyway.”

  I put some clean sheets on the bed and retrieved a blanket out of the closet. I laid down, but sleep escaped me. I grabbed the blanket off the bed and went to sit in the living room chair so I could keep an eye on Sade.

  I watched Sade sleep. She looked so peaceful. I cried as I thought about how Calvin stole Sade's innocence from her. I blamed myself and regardless of what anyone else said, I would go to my grave blaming myself.

  ~52~

  SADE

  The couch wasn't normally the best place to sleep, but it had been the best rest I'd had in years. When I woke up, I was surprised to see my mom fast asleep in the chair.

  My bladder wouldn't let me sit so I rushed to the bathroom. When I returned to the living room, my mom was folding up the blankets.

  “Oh, I could have done that,” I said.

  “No, baby. You've been through enough. Sit. You and the baby need to rest.”

  “I'm fine,” I assured her.

  After folding up the blankets, she sat next to me on the couch and we watched the morning news. I asked, “Mom, what's going to happen next? Will they let Calvin out on bail? Do you think we should be scared that he's going to try to come back and do something to us?”

  “No, baby. He's going to be in the hospital for a while. I just heard on the news that the doctors think he's going to be paralyzed. The bullets pierced his spinal cord.”

  “Wow. That's payback for real.”

  “I don't feel any remorse whatsoever. You saved his life because I was ready to pull the trigger,” she said.