by Shannon West
“And you always spent every penny of the salary you got from the pack funds, so you didn’t have much savings,” he said, thinking it through, like he always did. That was one thing that had always made us so good together. I was ready to leap into action, while he took a more methodical approach.
I sighed. “I didn’t have much, no. I spent too much money on clothes like you always said I did. I’ve used all I had, plus pawned some things like my laptop and my watch and my TV.”
He squeezed my hand. “You're okay now. I'm taking you home and giving you everything you need.”
“But how can I face everyone, Logan? I'll die of embarrassment.”
“Why? Because you’re an omega? It’s time to face it. Who cares what anybody thinks? They might tease you a little, but so what? If they say too much, they’ll have to answer to me.”
“No, I wish I was brave enough to face everyone, but I’m not. I can’t do it.”
“You are brave,” he said softly, and I turned so fast to look at him I almost gave myself whiplash. “Picking up and coming here to this strange town where you didn’t know anybody…I call that brave. Rash. Foolish, maybe. But brave as hell. Besides, did you not hear the part where I said I thought we needed to be mated right away?”
“I heard you, but seriously, Logan. You don’t want to be my mate.”
“Who said I didn’t? You’re my omega now, and that will be my baby you’re carrying. Who else is supposed to take care of you both if not your family?”
“And if I said no?”
He sighed wearily. “Are you saying no?”
“No, not exactly. I’m just…weighing my options.”
“According to pack law, you have to do as I say. I'm your alpha.”
The fact that he was right about the laws didn’t help a damn bit. I was furious, and I glared at him with all the fear and outrage and impotence and hurt I'd had inside me since this whole thing started. He gazed serenely back at me.
“But that’s not how I roll, Kade, and you used to know that about me. I want you to come home with me because you want to. Because you missed me like I missed you. Because you want to give this baby the best life we can give him, even if this is getting off to a rocky start.” He glanced over at me. “But that’s what I want. What about you? Are you willing to come home with me and help me make a family?”
What the hell could I say to that when my heart was melting? I took the hand he was holding out to me. “Yes, Logan,” I managed, and then the dam burst again. I was so pathetic, and these hormones were killing me. It took another fifteen minutes of him patting my back and dropping soft kisses on my forehead and cheeks before I stopped.
Being in his arms felt so good that, to be honest, I may have milked it. Just a little.
Chapter Four
He pulled up outside the house a few minutes later and got out to come around and open my door, like I was some girl, but I didn’t hold it against him. Not too much. We both had some adjustments in our thinking we had to do. I went past him and headed toward the side stairs, but he caught up with me and pulled on my arm. “Where are you going? The front door is over there.”
“That’s the main house. I have an attic apartment.”
He squinted his eyes at the rickety stairs. “Up those steps?”
“Yes.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You mean to tell me you’ve been going up and down those wet steps in your condition?”
“They’re not always wet, and I can hold on to the rail. It’s no big deal. I’m not an invalid.”
He shook his head like he couldn’t believe me and followed close behind me up the steps, which actually were pretty wet and slippery that morning. It had been getting a lot colder in the past few days, and I could only imagine what it would be like in December or January when there’d be ice. We made it to the top, and I opened the door and let him in. He glanced around at the dingy little room and made a face, but thankfully, didn’t say much. He didn’t have to—the look he gave me said it all.
I found a box they’d given me at the food pantry to take home free food, and I began to fill it with some of my stuff, while he began to throw other things in a bag he said was for “trash.” I the few towels and linens I had and my two plates and two cups in my box, and he took them out and put them in his bag.
“All this is junk, Kade. No sense in dragging it home. Just get your clothes and your personal items. I’ll buy you anything else you need.”
I pulled out my suitcase and began packing the clothes in my closet. Logan came up behind me, saw the fat man sweatpants, and put a hand on my shoulder, holding out his bag. “Put that crap in here. Where did you get this anyway?” he said, pulling out the oversized, old trousers and one of the giant t-shirts.
“From the thrift store. My old stuff doesn’t fit me anymore.”
“Your own shirts will still look better than these pieces of shit.” He pulled out one of my shirts from the back of the closet where I’d shoved them and tossed it to me. “Here. Put this on, so I can take you to breakfast.”
“It shows my baby bump.”
“So what?”
“So, I don’t want everyone to know!”
“What—you think you’re hiding it now?” He smiled at me. “You still look pregnant, Kade. But with these thrift shop rejects, you just look poor and pregnant.”
I gave a surprised little huff and he laughed, throwing his arm around me. “Come on. You still look gorgeous. Let’s finish this up so we can eat.”
Breakfast sounded so good my stomach gave a happy little rumble, and he smiled. “You like that idea, huh? Get ready and let’s get out of here then. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
I was pretty hungry. I put on the shirt he gave me, blushing as it outlined my stomach pretty obviously, but he just patted my ass. He pulled off his own jacket because it was still so cold in there and made me wear it, throwing the “nasty piece of shit,” as he called my old puffy jacket, in one of the trash bags he’d been filling.
“I think I may have a box in the truck, so I’ll take this one down, unload it and bring both the empty boxes back up for the rest of your stuff. Wait for me here and I’ll go talk to your landlord too. I’ll be right back.”
He left and I looked around the room to make sure I had everything. I never realized before how little I had left after pawning most of the things I’d brought with me, just to buy food and pay rent. I put my beloved boots in my suitcase, along with the android tablet by my bed. It was another thing I hadn’t pawned yet, because it wasn’t worth much—the cell phone companies practically gave them away—and because with no television, re-reading old books was the only entertainment I had left. I sat on the bed and waited for a few more minutes and then decided to just carry my own suitcase down. I was perfectly able to, and I wanted to make sure my asshole landlord wasn’t telling Logan I owed him more money to break my lease or whatever. The landlord had told me when I moved in there wasn’t going to be a lease, in case he wanted to put me out in a hurry.
I came out on the little stoop at the top of the stairs—calling it a porch would glorify it too much—and started down them. I heard the sound of a car screeching by as an old blue sedan of some kind, jacked up on expensive looking tires and rims, suddenly raced past the house. Someone leaned out the open window, and I heard a loud popping sound and heard something like a bee buzz by my head. As the sedan raced around the corner, there was another loud pop, pop! Something slammed into the suitcase I was holding with a hard thud. The force of it knocked me and the suitcase sideways, and I grabbed for the railing as my feet flew out from under me. The suitcase tumbled down the stairs, and I cried out as my arm was almost wrenched from its socket, but I managed to keep from falling. I still slid down a few steps backward, my feet over my head, but I was able to stop my plunge, even though my arm and shoulder burned with pain.
I heard Logan yelling my name as he charged up the stairs, and he lifted me by grabbing
me under the arms. Then he twisted and fell backward with me onto the stoop. We both lay there for a second, panting for breath.
“Are you okay?” he breathed in my ear, and I nodded. I was trembling a bit, and my arm hurt, but I was mostly unhurt. His own face was pale, and he looked scared. It must have been because of the baby.
“Yeah, just bruised, but what the hell was that?”
“Some asshole shot at you! I didn’t get a license plate number, because it all happened so fast! Are you hurt?” he asked, patting me down to check for injuries.
“Just wrenched my arm a little, I think. I’m okay though.”
“Go back inside, Kade,” he said, giving me a little push as he got me to my feet. “Lie down and rest. I’m calling for an ambulance and the cops.”
I tried to protest, but he already had his phone out and was speaking urgently into it as he shut the door. Since my arm really did hurt, and I was pretty shaky, I went and stretched out on the bed.
It was only a few minutes later that I heard the sirens coming fast down the street. Footsteps rushed up the stairs and everything was kind of chaotic for a while as Logan shouted orders at everybody, and the paramedics started checking me out. My little room filled up so fast the cops had to step outside when they arrived, and Logan went with them.
The paramedics checked my arm and shoulder to make sure I hadn’t dislocated anything, took my blood pressure, and then one of them said, “I’ll go find his alpha.”
I leaned up on one arm. “Hey, you can talk to me. I’m right here.”
They both just glanced at me and then back at each other. The first one said it again. “I’ll go find his alpha.”
The other one patted my chest. “In the meantime, you just settle down, and relax, honey. We’ll talk to your alpha and let him know how you are. Everything’s going to be fine, so don’t you worry your pretty little head.”
I rolled my eyes and gave up. They would talk to “my alpha,” because I apparently didn’t have a brain. A few minutes later, Logan came in and the paramedic moved over so he could sit beside me.
“You’re fine, but they said to check in later with your OB doctor. Do you have one?”
“Of course I have one,” I replied a little sharply. “I see one every month at the free clinic.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Yeah, well, I want you to have better than that. When we get home, we’ll find you a new doctor. They said you were okay to travel, though you might be a little sore.”
“Logan, I really don’t think…”
“No, you don’t think, and I’m glad you admit it, because the first step in solving a problem is to admit you have one.” He grinned at me and the look I gave him. “I’m going to take the rest of your stuff out to the car, and then I’ll come back for you.”
“Wait a minute, what did the cops say? Who shot at me?”
“They think it was some members of La Esse, coming for a little payback for the incident at the FOCS yesterday. They said the best thing we could do is get you out of town and let you lay low for a while. They said they wouldn't give up trying to find you for a while, if ever, so it will help when I change your last name to mine.”
“Wait. What? Change my name?”
“We’re getting legally married by the humans as soon as I get you back home, as well as going through a mating ceremony. I want you and the baby to have my name. You both belong to me now. The pack will expect it.”
The pack? Was that the only consideration? He wanted to trap himself in a loveless marriage to avoid upsetting the pack? Hell, no. I couldn’t let him do that.
“No. Negative. No way, Logan. The more I think about it, the more I realize this is all just a bad idea. It’s nice of you to offer, but…”
“But nothing. I'm adopting this child, remember? Getting married makes sense, doesn’t it? I thought we’d already settled this.”
“Yes, I know, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve trapped you.”
“You didn’t. So let's not talk anymore about it.”
“But you were never attracted to me.”
“Are you kidding me? Hell, Kade, just look at you. You’re maybe the best-looking guy I ever saw. And after you told me that you—what you told me. That you kind of liked me too, I wanted so much to act on it. But I didn’t want to mess up our friendship. Besides, I want children, and I have a cousin who got burned with a surrogate who changed her mind.” He held up a hand to stop me from speaking. “I know most of them don’t, and it’s safe and all that…but what if it’s not? The court will almost always side with the mother if she decides she wants to keep the baby. And I thought if I found an omega, then that would solve the problem. It might have worked too, if you hadn’t come along.”
“And messed up your life?”
“No, Kade, don’t you see? You’ve made my life. I get to have my best friend and my beta and eventually our own children. In the meantime, I'll have this baby to spoil. I'm happy about it.”
“But you’re not in love with me.”
“I told you I love you like a brother.”
“But that's not the way I want you to love me.”
“Kade, I’ll be honest with you. I spent the last few years telling myself it was a bad idea for us to get involved. Then after you told me you were interested in me, I had to fight a whole new battle. I told myself you were too wild and like to play around too much and not ready to settle down with anybody. That if we got together it would ruin our friendship and leave me with no part of you. I think I finally convinced myself we were better off as friends. I don’t honestly know if I feel anything more for you than friendship right now. Or even if it’s a good idea for us to even try to be in love. Romance fades, and love goes away, but friendship can last a lifetime. I know I care about you. And I know you’re mine. Do you think that could be enough? Enough for us to try to build a life on?”
I was speechless, but he took my hand and squeezed it. “What do you think? Can we do this?”
I sighed, because what could I say to that? I loved him so much and I had for such a long time. I could love him enough for both of us. I just nodded my head, at a loss for words, and he gave me that big, beautiful smile, the one that fully engaged his eyes.
He smiled. “Thank you. It’s going to be fine; you just wait and see.”
Chapter Five
It’s been my experience that whenever someone says “just you wait and see,” it never works out the way they said it was going to. I’d forgotten that little tidbit for a moment, but my return home brought it all back to me fast.
I got settled back in the lodge okay. Logan had called ahead to tell the pack to move all my things into his rooms. He only had the one big bedroom, and then he had a sort of front room with a kitchen in it. He said that before the baby came, he would find us a bigger room, or maybe knock down a wall, so the baby could have his or her own room. He offered to sleep on the couch, but I said no, because he had a huge king-sized bed and besides, I selfishly wanted him with me. He said I was his now. Well, he was mine too, and I meant to start staking my claim, even if all he ever wanted was my friendship.
As for the baby, I decided not to tell Logan the truth. At least not yet. I was still convinced this whole thing was going to blow up in my face. That he would wake up one day and decide he wanted more out of life than a loveless marriage to a male omega. When that day came, I would leave and get out of his way, and I'd take my child with me.
I had started thinking of the baby as mine now that I was keeping it. I had tried for so long not to think that way, that it was hard, but every time it would move inside me—which was a lot—I felt closer to it. Damn it, I loved it, and I had to admit that, at least to myself.
My dad had been quiet and thoughtful when he came to meet us as we arrived, but he gave me a hug and said, “It's going to be all right, Kade. It's an honor for you to be the mate of the alpha.”
I just wished he looked like he believed it.
I loved s
haring a bed with Logan every night. He gave me half the dresser space and closet space. Not that I needed a lot. Still, it wasn’t long until he insisted on taking me on a clothes shopping spree in Asheville. It was kind of a necessity, really, as I’d been wearing his sweats and t-shirts since I got back and looked like a kid playing dress up.
There was an omega store at one of the malls. The store was called “Great Expectations.” Gag me with a spoon. But that’s where he took me first. He bought me four pairs of women's jeans with some kind of thin material over the stomach so it could expand. He said they weren't women's, but I could tell they were. They had sparkly shit on the back pockets. He bought four shirts that looked a little like men’s ugly dress shirts. It wasn’t his fault—that was the only paternity clothes they had in the mall, and I told myself it was only temporary.
The shirts had pleats—fucking pleats in a panel—going down each side. I hated them on sight, but he bought two white ones, one blue one and one yellow one. If they’d had pink, he’d have probably gotten that too, just because he said everything looked good on me. Bullshit. I saw myself in the mirror, looking like a beached whale.
He even bought me shoes. The slip-on kind with thick soles that I’d seen old men wearing in the mall. They were comfortable as hell, but that simply wasn’t the point. And besides, I was still mourning my western boots—I had discovered when I unpacked my suitcase that they and my tablet had stopped a bullet from continuing through the suitcase and hitting me. They were both toast, but I kept the boots and wanted to see about getting them patched or something. I knew deep down in my soul that they were ruined, just like everything else in my life.