A Doctor to Come Home to

by Gill Sanderson

  Then he jerked, a totally different kind of movement. For a moment, in horror, she wondered if she had rubbed against the dressing on his back, if it had been pain that had caused him to move back from her. He stood by the side of her lounger.

  Then she heard it. A banging, a knocking on the door.

  ‘Dad! Are you asleep or in the shower or something? Can I come in?’ Johanne had woken up.

  Now Amy had to open her eyes. She felt a surge of excitement as she saw his messed hair, the glitter in his eyes, his mouth so soft and so disappointed.

  ‘My daughter,’ he said. ‘She didn’t sleep as long as I had thought—or hoped.’

  ‘Dad! Are you there?’

  Amy swung her legs off the lounger, reached behind to fasten her bra then swept a hand through her hair. ‘You’d better let her in,’ she said. ‘Perhaps she’d like to join us if we have another cup of tea.’

  His head swooped down towards her. There was one last hard kiss. He whispered, ‘This isn’t finished. Then he shouted, ‘Coming, darling.’ A minute later Amy heard him say, ‘We’ve got a visitor. We were just having a cup of tea.’

  Amy smiled up at the young figure who appeared in front of her. ‘Hi, Johanne. Feel better for your sleep?’

  ‘Much better, thank you,’ said Johanne, looking assessingly at the two of them.

  The four of them were having breakfast the next morning when things changed. Helen, a pleasant smiling girl in charge of the kiddie reps, came to their table and asked if Elizabeth and Johanne wanted to go on a half-day coach trip. ‘We’re going to a place called The Ranch,’ she explained. ‘There’s activities for all ages. We’ll do a bit of horseriding—well, donkeys really. Then there are animals to pet and a big indoor funfair. Afterwards we all have fries and hamburgers.’

  ‘I want to go!’ Elizabeth promptly shouted. ‘I want to ride a donkey and can I wear my new hat that Uncle Adam gave me?’

  ‘I’d like to go as well,’ Johanne said quietly. ‘I’ve had enough of the sea for a while.’

  So it was settled. ‘We’ll do a bit of sightseeing, shall we, Amy?’ Adam said carelessly. ‘There’s a couple of places close by that I’d like to visit.’

  ‘I’d like that, too,’ said Amy.

  Five minutes later Amy was climbing into Adam’s car. She felt a little frightened, a little apprehensive. What would he say about what had nearly happened yesterday? What would he expect? For that matter, what did she want herself? She just didn’t know.

  But the problem didn’t arise. They drove across a wide fertile plain and he chatted happily about his training, and the different skills needed by nurses and doctors. They talked about politics and discovered they more or less agreed on most things. They had different tastes in music, but didn’t dislike what the other enjoyed.

  After half an hour of this chat, Amy was feeling a little irritated. After an hour she was downright angry.

  He was telling her what his favourite television programme was when she interrupted him and said, ‘Adam! Can we stop talking like two old women on a day trip to the seaside? We’re saying nothing about... about what nearly happened yesterday. Did it mean so little to you?’

  He turned to look at her. ‘You know better than that,’ he said. ‘I just thought we’d take things easy for a while. We have most of today together, don’t we?’

  ‘Yes, I suppose we do.’

  ‘And if it’s any consolation to you, I got no sleep last night till the small hours. I lay awake, thinking about you.’

  ‘I thought about you quite a lot,’ she admitted. ‘I worried and worried about how I really felt—and then I went to sleep.’

  Adam smiled. ‘Let’s just enjoy today and we’ll talk later. I thought we’d go to the Castell de Santueri, the views from there are meant to be fantastic.’

  The views were fantastic. From the ruined castle they could see both Minorca and Ibiza. But by lunchtime both were exhausted. It was warmer, far warmer than it had yet been. And it was humid, sticky. There was no sun, the sky was thick with dirty grey clouds. They walked to a cafe, ordered iced drinks and a salad each.

  ‘I’m glad I’m not at The Ranch,’ he said. ‘It’ll be rough on Elizabeth and Johanne.’

  Amy shook her head. ‘No chance. They’ll go inside where it’s air-conditioned. I’ve talked quite a bit to Helen, she’s a qualified children’s nurse and the children are all properly supervised and looked after.’

  Adam looked up at the sky. ‘I think this weather will break.’ He looked up as the waiter laid plates of salad in front of them and asked him, ‘What will the weather do, do you think?’

  ‘Tomorrow will be fresh and fine,’ the waiter said. ‘But I think there will be a storm and a wild night.’

  ‘A wild night,’ Adam said, and looked at her thoughtfully. Amy shivered. She wondered what he meant.

  They set off back to the hotel. In spite of the car’s air-conditioning their clothes were sticking to their backs. As they walked into the hotel a few giant drops of rain spattered onto the pavement.

  ‘What I’d really like now,’ Amy said, ‘is a cup of your tea.’ Then she realised she had invited herself to his room. Was that being forward?

  Once there she felt at a bit of a loss. He was busying himself making tea, she couldn’t work out whether she was happier in the room with the air-conditioning turned up full blast or outside on the balcony in the open.

  She pulled fretfully at her shirt. ‘Perhaps I should have gone to my room and showered and changed,’ she said.

  He handed her a dressing-gown. ‘Shower here if you like. Then you can sit in this, it’s quite capacious. I’ll finish making the tea and then we can sit outside and talk.’

  She was tempted but she shook her head, ‘Tea first, then perhaps I’ll have a shower. And do we need to talk?’

  ‘I think you need to more than I do,’ he said. She had no answer to that.

  He made the tea and she went onto the balcony, pulled up the backs of the loungers so they were two upright seats and placed them on opposite sides of the table. Then she peered around the balcony wall, checking to make sure that no one could overhear them. It seemed safe.

  It was hotter, stickier than ever. The sky was a dirty grey, in the distance she could see lightning flickering over the sea.

  The tea quenched her thirst, but made her feel hotter than ever.

  ‘We have to talk,’ he said again, and she sighed. She knew he was right but...

  ‘Adam, I just don’t know. You’ll have to help me. I had it all worked out, how I was going to say that yesterday was just an accident, something that we had to forget. What happened then just wasn’t me. I’m not promiscuous, I’ve only ever slept with my husband. And so I haven’t slept with anyone for the past two and a half years.’

  Now she had started, it seemed easier. Things came pouring out, ideas that she’d had for a long time but had mentioned to no one. ‘I’ve wanted to sleep with people. I’ve had offers, and once I was very tempted. But though I hated him, though I intended to divorce him and never live with him again, Paul was still my husband. It tore me apart.’

  He nodded. ‘But you’re a young, healthy woman. You have feelings like anyone, you’ve just had to hide them. Perhaps yesterday what you really wanted came out.’

  ‘What I really wanted? I know what I really want. Adam, I like you very much, but I don’t want a man in my life. I’ve had one, it was a disaster. I’ve got my life sorted out, got my job and my daughter. I’m happy now.’ She thought for a minute. ‘Well, I can cope now and I’m not going to jeopardise what I’ve got.’

  He nodded again. ‘I can see that, sympathise with it all. In fact, I feel the same way myself.’

  He waved his hand around, indicating the hotel, the long gardens, the pools, the sea. ‘The thing is, this isn’t real. At home we don’t dine outside every night, dance by the pool, walk by the sea. This is an unreal life and that unreality is what brought us together.’

&nb
sp; She liked that idea. It made everything seem not quite her fault. ‘So yesterday afternoon, when we—’

  She just wasn’t expecting it. A great streak of white lightning flashed, not in the sky but apparently right in front of her. She jerked. But somehow she caught her breath and went on ‘Yesterday afternoon when we—’

  And then came the thunder. It was loud, louder than ever she had heard it, as if it was there in front of her, on the balcony, in the very room. An initial crash, and then a rumbling that seemed to go on and on and on.

  She couldn’t help herself. She screamed through sheer shock, knocked the table away and leapt for the comfort of Adam’s arms. He took her, held her close to him as she gasped for breath, feeling the pounding of her heart.

  Then there was a sound like cloth ripping. And the rain came pouring down, so thick it was almost hard to breathe. Instantly, both were soaked. But they were cooler. And they clung together like two spent swimmers.

  She could feel the rain trickling between her breasts, making her white shirt and shorts transparent, soaking her socks and filling her shoes. She didn’t mind. His arms were around her, his wet body pressed to hers.

  He kissed her, one hand cupping the back of her neck, one arm around her waist. This time there was no tentative overture, no attempt to discover whether she wanted to be kissed. He knew she wanted him just as he wanted her. Their wet faces touched, and as the cool rain beat down on them they knew they had ignited a fire of their own.

  She had no idea how long they stood there, taking such pleasure in each other. Now her arms were around him. She stroked his soaking back, ran her fingers around the sodden waistband of his trousers. And she felt him touching her, his hands caressing her body. It was so good—but both knew it was only a beginning.

  His lips parted from hers and she looked up at his dark hair plastered to his skull, the rain dripping from his eyebrows, streaking his cheeks. And his grey eyes burned with a message that was unmistakable. ‘You’re wet,’ he said. ‘You’re wet through.’

  ‘So are you.’ She felt her own hair, now lank and dripping. ‘I must look a real mess.’

  ‘You look gorgeous. And you feel...’ Lightning flashed again, not so near this time, but she still pressed against him, waiting for the soul-shaking sound of the thunder. It came. And it rolled on and on and on.

  In time it finished. He relaxed his hold on her and whispered, ‘Perhaps we should go inside. You need to get out of those wet clothes. I can lend you...’

  Now she came to it, the decision seemed to be already made. This was happening to her, there was only now and no thought of the future, it was what she wanted. ‘I need to get out of the wet clothes,’ she said. ‘So do you.’

  No one could hear them, see them. She stepped back from him, crossed her arms, pulled shirt and bra over her head. With two hands she slid down her shorts and knickers, even managing to drag off her socks and shoes. Then she stepped back, feeling the rain beat on her naked body, feeling such pleasure in it. And then was more pleasure in seeing the shock and desire mingled in his eyes. ‘Now you,’ she said.

  For a moment he looked even more shocked. But then he smiled, pulled off his soaking clothes with as much speed as she had done. When he was naked he reached for her again and pressed his rain-cooled body to hers.

  It was like nothing she’d ever felt before. And she knew it wasn’t just the rain, the excitement of being here in the open air. It was being with Adam.

  They stood, they kissed. She felt the warmth that was growing between them, knew his need for her was getting even stronger. This, she knew, was only a prelude; there was more that must come. So when he slid his arm around her waist and urged her towards the sliding glass door that opened into his room, she went willingly.

  ‘Stand here,’ he said, his voice hoarse. ‘Don’t move. I want to see you just like that, so stand here.’

  Proudly unselfconscious, she did as he demanded. A tiny part of her mind looked on in amazement; this wasn’t how the usual Amy Harrison behaved! But Amy didn’t care. There was only now.

  Then he led her to his bed. And it was all that she had ever dreamed of.

  Afterwards they lay in one another’s arms for a while. Then she wriggled and said, ‘I’m going to fetch you some tea in bed. Then we need to carry on talking for a while.’

  ‘I’d like the tea. I’m not so keen on the talking. Why don’t you stay here a while and we’ll—?’

  ‘Adam! Tea first.’

  She avoided his reaching hands and went into the kitchen. She made the tea and climbed back into bed, and for a while they sat there side by side, drinking their tea. Then he leaned over, to kiss one of her breasts and said, ‘I suspect you want to talk again. But now things are different. We are lovers now, there’s some kind of commitment in that. So what have you got to say to me?’

  She had to get her thoughts in order. But it was much easier now, there was no overwhelming conflict between what her body told her it needed and what the cold light of reason told her.

  ‘First,’ she said, ‘There’s no chance of my getting pregnant. I’ve had a bit of a hormonal imbalance so I’m on the Pill. No unwanted consequences.’

  ‘There will be consequences,’ he said quietly, ‘there must be. One thing I have learned is that if you do something...earth-shattering like this, then there will be consequences and you have to accept them.’

  Amy thought about this, it was a bit daunting. ‘I think I see what you mean,’ she said. ‘So what consequences do you expect?’

  Now it was his turn to think, but he avoided giving an answer. ‘First tell me what you want,’ he said.

  ‘I’m still not sure myself. Over the past hour and a half, my life has been completely altered. There are new horizons, but they frighten me.’ She mused a moment, and then went on, ‘But I felt—you showed me—a happiness that I’d never known before. And that frightened me even more. But I feel I’m a woman again.’

  ‘Oh, you certainly are,’ he said, running a finger down her shoulder and onto her breast again. ‘You certainly are.’

  She took his hand and kissed it. ‘Now you must tell me what you think, what you want,’ she said.

  He considered. ‘In my life, the first thing must be Johanne. She had a rough time after parting from her mother, she felt rejected. I’m doing the best I can for her but I’m still not sure it’s enough. I’m not in any way ashamed of what we did together, Amy, but I don’t want Johanne to know that we’ve slept together.’

  ‘I agree. I have a daughter myself, she’s much younger but I recognise at once what you feel.’ She eased herself a little away from him. ‘So we think of this as an occasion that just happened. It was so good it brought us both incredible happiness, but now we forget it.’

  ‘No!’ His voice was anguished. ‘You gave me so much; I can’t let you go now. We have to see each other again.’

  ‘So, over the next few days we tiptoe around the situation, meeting furtively, grabbing a little bit of happiness when we can?’

  ‘It’ll have to be that. Can you put up with it?’

  ‘It’s not ideal. But it’s so much better than not seeing you at all. We can manage somehow.’

  ‘Whatever you think.’ He put his arm around her, kissed her again. Their bodies were pressed together as they had been before, she felt the warmth of him, the rising passion. He whispered, ‘So we’d better make the most of the time we have? Like now?’

  She felt that now familiar sensation again as if her body had a life of its own, knowing what it wanted and determined to have it. Slowly, she slid down the bed, easing off the towel as she did so. His head bent to her breasts again. After the first explosion of excitement, she managed to say, ‘But remember what you said before! This is a holiday romance. We have eight days left and then it ends. Then we move back into the real world and it must be goodbye. I just can’t, daren’t start anything new now—if ever. And you’re the same, aren’t you?’

  His hand
slid from her waist, downwards. ‘You can cram a lifetime into seven days,’ he said.

  What he said was not now important. What he was doing was important—and she sobbed with excitement.

  Johanne and Elizabeth now spent so much time together they were like sisters. So it wasn’t surprising how often Adam and Amy could sneak an hour or more together. Even a kiss at night, in the darkness of the garden, was worth so much. And sometimes she glanced up to see him looking at her, and as their eyes met she knew what he was thinking—or feeling. They could signal each other, say so much with the tiniest of expressions.

  She had no doubts, no regrets. They were hurting no one; they lived in the present with no worries about the future. In fact, they never thought of it. But then there were only three days left.

  Amy, Elizabeth and Johanne had started breakfast together. Adam had been called to Reception for some reason. When he came towards them a chill settled on Amy’s heart. She could tell by his expression that it was bad news.

  He sat at the table, reached for the coffee pot. ‘That was the police,’ he said. ‘They need a statement about that girl we pulled out of the water. She’s recovered completely, by the way, but there has to be some kind of inquiry so I have to go into Palma. And since you’re the first one who saw her in difficulties, Johanne, they want a statement from you, too.’

  ‘Dad! I want to stay with Amy and Elizabeth.’

  ‘So do I. And I suppose we could both refuse. But giving a statement might help someone else some time in the future. It might help save a life. So I’m going to give a statement and I’d like you to do so too.’

  His voice was calm but Amy could hear the thread of certainty underneath. Adam knew he was right. He was going to do what he thought best—no matter what.

  Johanne recognised the tone of voice too. ‘OK, Dad, I’ll come,’ she said gloomily. ‘But I can think of better ways of spending the day. The girl’s alive, isn’t she?’

  ‘Elizabeth and I will look forward to seeing you both later,’ Amy said. ‘There’ll be the evening together. Now, Adam, what are you having for breakfast?’