A Doctor to Come Home to

by Gill Sanderson

  Amy had stayed perhaps longer than she should have. Nancy had needed some kind of break—and her husband was no great conversationalist. The two women had talked about the people they knew—and Nancy had talked about when she should start a family. She was keener than Peter.

  Amy banged on the door, walked straight in as she had been told to do. Nancy was sitting in the living room, stretched out on the couch, a blanket over her legs. Good, she was obeying instructions. She smiled as Amy entered. ‘I’m so glad you’ve come. I need cheering up,’ she said. ‘I’m going mad, just sitting here.’

  ‘Just a few more days and then you can think about starting work again,’ Amy told her. ‘Light work only, mind. Now, pull your sweater up and let’s have a look.’

  Nancy’s wound was progressing nicely. Amy cleaned it, put on a new dressing. ‘I see the Land Rover’s outside,’ she said. ‘What’s Peter doing for transport?’

  ‘Peter’s off work, he’s in bed. He’s been really off colour. He had a few drinks at the rugby club a couple of nights ago and has been feeling rotten ever since. It must be a really bad cold or perhaps it’s flu. Anyway, whenever I ask, he shouts at me.’

  ‘Want me to go and have a look at him?’ Amy asked.

  ‘Would you? In fact, I have been quite worried about him. I’ve never seen him as bad as this before.’

  ‘I’ll just say hello.’ Amy didn’t particularly want to say hello to Peter. She’d known him for years but she didn’t much like him. Once he’d even made a pass at her. Not that that was something special. Peter made passes at anything in a skirt.

  But when she went into the bedroom, she found him in a bad way. For once he didn’t object to her questioning him, even examining him. He was generally low. He had a rash and a high temperature. He complained of pains in his joints but Amy could find no swelling. She felt uneasy. She’d seen many cases of flu. This wasn’t one of them. ‘I’d like to get the doctor out to look at you,’ she said. For once, the big tough farmer didn’t object.

  Amy slipped outside and phoned the surgery. She was in luck. Rita said that Dr Wright was between patients and Amy could speak to him at once. ‘If you’re calling, it must be an emergency,’ the senior partner said. ‘What’s the problem?’

  Carefully, Amy went over the symptoms. She didn’t say what she thought was wrong, it was the doctor’s job to diagnose. But he asked her anyway. ‘What do you think is wrong?’

  ‘I wondered—hepatitis?’

  ‘Hmm,’ said Dr Wright. ‘That could open a can of worms. Tell you what, I’ll ask our new doctor to come out. He’s still being inducted, but it will be good for him to see the kind of work we do. Can you make a visit with him this afternoon?’

  She told herself that having to make calls with Adam was the kind of thing that was going to happen so she had to get used to it. ‘Of course I can,’ she said.

  ‘Good. And you may as well take him on the rest of your round. Get him to know the place and a few of our regular patients. That OK?’

  ‘No trouble at all.’

  A bit of her was glad. This had to be faced up to. She’d get it over quickly, the sooner the better.

  There was an auction of animals in the cattle market that afternoon and the streets of Lissom were crammed with lorries and trailers carrying cargoes of sheep and cattle. The presence of Adam beside her in her four-wheel-drive didn’t worry her at first. Like her, he remained silent. But soon they were out of town, threading their way through the maze of white-walled fields that she knew so well. And she thought she ought to make a statement.

  ‘It’s a friendly surgery,’ she said. ‘I’m sure you’ve seen we all get on well.’

  ‘Of course,’ he said.

  ‘I love my work here. I’m very happy in it and I want to stay that way. I suspect you’ll be doing a lot of house calls often with me. I think that if we are polite to each other, we can work around this situation. We can forget what happened before. We’ll be colleagues.’

  ‘Of course we will. But, Amy, things happened between us. And you know they were important to us both. We might not speak of them, but no way can I forget them. Neither, I suspect, can you.’

  ‘Too bad. We’ll have to do the best we can, won’t we? Now, I don’t want to say any more about it.’

  She swerved around a bunch of cyclists. ‘Shouldn’t be two abreast in this narrow lane,’ she muttered. ‘Now, the case we’re going to see. It could be nothing or it could be a bad case of flu, but I doubt it. I’ve never seen a fit young man look so low. He’s a big rugby player, quite a good amateur. In fact, he went with his team on a tour of the Far East some months ago, and I gather they did quite well.’

  ‘D’you know exactly where they went?’ His voice was suddenly alert.

  ‘No. But I gather they had a good time.’

  ‘A good time in the Far East. Any chance he might have been taking drugs?’

  She laughed. ‘No chance. The only drug he’s interested in is alcohol.’

  ‘You’re thinking what I am,’ he said. ‘I hope you’re wrong though.’

  ‘Me, too. I like his wife, she’s lovely. She deserves—’

  ‘Don’t jump the gun,’ he said.

  Amy helped him with his examination. He did practically the same as she had done and then said formally, ‘I’d like to see the patient alone now, Amy.’

  ‘Of course.’

  He joined her perhaps ten minutes later, when she was sitting chatting to Nancy. ‘Mrs Brooks, I’ve ordered an ambulance and I’ve phoned the hospital telling them to expect your husband. We need to have tests done; I suspect that your husband is suffering from some kind of blood or kidney infection.’

  Nancy looked confused. ‘An infection? What kind of an infection? How did he get it?’

  ‘We just don’t know. We won’t know very much until we get the results from the hospital lab. Then I’ll come back and tell you. It could be serious but I doubt it will be fatal.’

  ‘Just what kind of disease could he pick up abroad?’ asked Nancy.

  But then they heard the sound of an engine outside, and Amy saw the white side of an ambulance. Adam went to watch Peter being carried out on a stretcher, and shortly afterwards they left the farm.

  ‘Where now?’ Adam asked.

  ‘Now we have to go to see Sadie. A totally different kind of case. Sadie is eighty-nine and lives alone. She has a good care worker but she cooks all her own meals. I help her wash and see that everything is fine with her. You’ll like Sadie and she’ll like you. She likes all doctors—except female ones.’

  Adam smiled.

  They drove on in silence for a while and then she said, abruptly, ‘You thought hepatitis B?’

  ‘Yes, I did. Of course we both may be wrong, I hope so. How come you spotted it so quickly?’

  ‘I came across a few cases when I worked in A and E. Drug addicts mostly.’

  He mused, ‘That’s the commonest way of catching it. Infected blood, dirty needles. It can be transmitted by a human bite if the skin is broken.’

  ‘Don’t mess me about, Adam,’ she said bitterly. ‘We both know what the most likely cause is. Sexual contact. Probably in the Far East, where it’s almost pandemic.’

  ‘I asked him. It is a possibility. Said he was drunk at the time.’

  ‘So what about poor Nancy? She wants a baby soon. Instead, tomorrow I give her an injection to protect her from her husband. I’ve done my public health courses. If he has hepatitis B, there’s a one in ten chance that he’ll be a carrier. There’s a one in ten chance the condition could become chronic, which would lead to cirrhosis of the liver. And Nancy has to live with that. Isn’t it great to be a man? Visit some prostitute, bring back the results to the family.’

  ‘You’re jumping the gun, Amy. We don’t know what he’s got yet.’

  ‘True. But it’s what you think.’

  ‘And not all men are the same, Amy. It’s wrong to generalise.’

  Amy took a deep breat
h to calm herself and then said, ‘Of course not. I agree with you, we must stay detached. We must never make moral judgements, it’s not our job. But you learn things, find you have ideas that are impossible to get rid of. And it’s just too bad.’

  ‘We’re not talking about Peter here, are we?’ he asked after a while.

  ‘No. We’re talking about me.’

  He was silent for a while and then said, ‘Life is a learning process. People should progress. I can’t help thinking that it’s...sad if you take up a position early in life and then never question it. Things, people can change.’

  ‘Are we still talking about me?’ she asked sharply. ‘I’m not sure I want your opinions on how I should change.’

  He didn’t get angry, either with her remark or her tone. ‘We’re only partly talking about you. We’re talking about people in general, and specifically about me as much as you. When we met, Amy, we were both set in our opinions. I’m starting to change and I suspect you are too. Love, kindness, thinking of someone other than yourself, generosity of spirit, they’re all possible.’

  ‘Well, thank you. I’ll ask you again, Adam, just what do you want of me?’

  ‘I want you to accept that I’m me, not someone else. And that now I like you a lot. And that we should just see how things go.’

  ‘It’s a lot to ask,’ she said.

  Amy didn’t see much of Adam for a while. He was following his induction programme, to show him how the surgery liked to conduct its business. But they had one case they worked on together, that of Peter Brooks. The results came through. Peter did have hepatitis B.

  They went together to talk to Nancy, who burst into tears. Amy was angry. Adam, wisely, said very little.

  A week or so later he met her in the surgery car park. As he approached her she could see that he was apprehensive, as if not sure of how she would greet him. Well, he should know better, they were professionals.

  ‘I’d like a quick word,’ he said, ‘about something personal.’ Then obviously responding to her forbidding expression, he added with a sardonic grin, ‘No, it’s not that.’

  She felt rather ashamed, they ought to be able to be friends. ‘What is it, Adam?’

  ‘Perhaps you don’t fancy this—I’m a bit in doubt myself. You know I’ve taken a flat for six months? It’s quite pleasant but it’s not where I ultimately want to live. Well, Johanne’s now in school, having a bit of difficulty settling. And she’d love it if you and Elizabeth would come round for an early tea some time. Honestly, Amy, though I’d love it too, this is for her not for me.’

  Amy thought for a moment and then said, ‘All right, we’ll come. For Johanne, not for you.’

  ‘That’ll be great. This moving about has been a shock for Johanne. She’s quiet and I think she’s finding school hard.’

  ‘It’s got a good reputation,’ said Amy. ‘I went there.’

  When she set off to visit with Elizabeth, Amy had to admit she was curious. She knew the area, it was quite well-to-do. Adam had leased a flat in a new block, built in the garden of a now demolished old house.

  They arrived with the necessary large box to keep Elizabeth occupied, full of dolls, teddies and a little plastic tea set. They were about to ring the doorbell when the door opened and there was Johanne. ‘I’ve been looking out for you,’ she said, and gave Amy a quick kiss. ‘Hello, Elizabeth, remember me? I’m Johanne.’

  ‘Remember you,’ said Elizabeth, ‘We had to leave and you weren’t there. But I’ve brought my teddies and a tea set.’

  A voice said, ‘Please, come inside.’ There was Adam, smiling first at Elizabeth. ‘Hello, Elizabeth.’

  ‘Uncle Adam,’ Elizabeth shouted, opening her arms for a hug. ‘I want to ride on the big fish again.’

  Once inside the flat Johanne and Elizabeth settled down to play as if it had been yesterday that they had parted, not weeks before. Soon they were sitting on the floor together, the dolls and teddies sitting round them in a circle and the tea set laid out.

  ‘Would Mr Teddy like a cup of tea?’ asked Johanne.

  ‘Certainly, please,’ Elizabeth said proudly.

  Since Johanne was occupied it was Adam who fetched the tea things, he had them all prepared. And when they sat round the table Elizabeth sat on one of his knees and placed a teddy on the other.

  ‘Teddy and me want to sit and have our tea with you,’ she said.

  ‘Then I’ll get Teddy some bread and butter.’ Adam carefully cut up a slice of bread and then placed it on the tiny plastic plate that Elizabeth had brought to the table.

  Elizabeth giggled and reached for the bread herself. ‘Teddy doesn’t really eat things,’ she told Adam confidentially.

  Amy couldn’t quite make out her own feelings as she watched Elizabeth and Adam together, Adam so obviously was enjoying playing with Elizabeth. And she felt that it wasn’t put on for her benefit. Adam would be a fine... a fine father, his pleasure in Elizabeth’s company was obvious.

  Then Amy managed to put a name to the odd emotion she was feeling, the faint feeling of irritation. It was jealousy! Adam should be paying attention to her, not to her daughter! But it still was rather nice to see the two of them together.

  For most of the time while they were eating she talked to Johanne about school. There were teachers there she remembered, customs that Johanne found a bit strange but which to Amy were normal. Johanne seemed to be finding her feet there.

  ‘Made any new friends at school yet?’ Amy asked.

  ‘One or two,’ Johanne said evasively. ‘Nobody really special.’

  After tea Johanne said she would wash up and that Elizabeth could help her. Since Elizabeth loved nothing more than to be wrapped in a large pinafore and to stand on a stool and stir a large bowl of sudsy water, this offer was accepted. Amy and Adam retired to the far end of the living room. They sat in easy chairs facing each other.

  ‘That was cunning,’ Amy said happily. ‘You just brought us here to show how we could all work together as a happy family.’

  ‘Nothing could have been further from my mind,’ he said, lying quite shamelessly. ‘But since we’re getting on well, I thought you’d like to look at these. They’re from our holiday.’ He put a packet of photographs on the coffee table between them.

  ‘I love photographs,’ said Amy.

  She hadn’t realised what an effect the photographs would have on her. There were simple shots of them on the beach, by the pool, sitting at dinner. Johanne had insisted on taking a lot of them, so there were more than a few of Amy sitting with Adam.

  For a moment or two, as she looked through the pictures, Amy was transported back to a happier, simpler time. She had enjoyed herself so much there; it made the greyness of her present life seem even more unsupportable.

  ‘That’s a good shot,’ Adam said. ‘Johanne took it.’

  His voice seemed casual, but Amy could detect a thread of meaning in it. The photograph was of Adam and herself, sitting at a table by the pool. Adam was holding a dozing Elizabeth on his lap, her head cradled on his chest.

  Amy felt her heart starting to beat a little faster. In the photograph she and Adam were looking at each other, smiling. But in the look, in that smile, there was so much meaning. Surely even the young Johanne could detect what they were feeling for each other?

  ‘It is a good shot,’ Amy said, her voice rather high. ‘But then, that was a good camera you had, wasn’t it?’

  ‘People make pictures, not cameras. Can you remember how you were feeling when that was taken?’

  She had to be honest. ‘Yes. I was feeling... contented and happy. I could have stayed in that mood for ever.’

  ‘Me, too. Do you think we could be that way again?’

  Amy shook her head in distress. ‘I’d like to say yes but...that was on holiday. A time away from real life. Now we’re back in real time and I—’

  ‘Dishes all done,’ Elizabeth shouted from a couple of feet away, and Amy jumped. How had her daughter crept
up on her? ‘Uncle Adam, Johanne says can we open the box please? That box there.’

  ‘You certainly can. Get Johanne to help you lift it out.’

  For a while there was much rustling of paper and consideration of diagrams. But eventually everything was clear and assembled. On the edge of a narrow table was balanced a tiny theatre, perhaps eighteen inches high. There were curtains of red velvet, a backcloth of a fairy castle. And from behind the theatre came the whispering of voices.

  Finally, all was ready. Elizabeth’s hidden voice announced, ‘This is the story of Princess Elizabetha and the giant and the witch and the prince.’

  The princess appeared on stage—a tiny figure stuck on the end of Elizabeth’s finger, with long golden pigtails. ‘I am the princess and I am very unhappy,’ a voice said in a princess-like fashion.

  Another finger appeared, all in black and with a pointed black hat. ‘And I am the wicked witch of Lissom,’ it intoned.

  ‘There aren’t any witches in Lissom,’ Elizabeth said in her normal voice. ‘Are there, Johanne?’

  ‘Well, no. But we can pretend, can’t we?’

  ‘It’s all right if we pretend.’

  It was a good play, and Adam and Amy applauded at the end. ‘Did you buy that for Johanne?’ Amy whispered.

  ‘No. I bought it for Elizabeth. I thought she might like to come here and play with it.’

  ‘Hmm. That means you expect us to come back.’

  ‘That’ll be your choice. But you know there’ll always be a welcome for you.’

  ‘I think that’s what I’m afraid of,’ said Amy.

  Next day Amy went to pick up Elizabeth later than usual. Adam had given her copies of all the photographs he had taken of their holiday. Amy had taken out the one of her sitting with Adam and slipped it into one of her bedroom drawers. But now she showed the rest to her mother.