She kept the conversation going, just as she told me she would do, keeping the attention off of me during dinner. Pops was light, happy, and we ate. It was different seeing him like this, the way mom always told me he was.
Perhaps there was hope for our relationship after all.
###
When we decided to leave, Pops gave Francesca and I a few moments alone and waited in the car. I cherished the time with her and as much as I wanted to ravish her body, I didn’t. So I settled for deep kisses and soft caresses that left her weak in the knees.
“How do you do that to me every single time?” she questioned, looking up at me with her big doe eyes.
“I guess the same way you do it to me,” I sighed, burying my face in her hair. I loved the smell of her, it was so soft, comforting.
“I have a girl’s night out tomorrow,” she said, not sounding very excited.
“Are you and Daphne still not talking?” I asked, concerned because I was the reason they were fighting.
She shook her head. “I talked to Bree though, and she’s going to make sure everything is fixed by the time we leave tomorrow night.”
“I guess I don’t get to see you tomorrow then, huh?”
Shaking her head again, she squeezed me to her. “I hate not seeing you. I can’t wait until you can come and go as you please,” she sighed against me. “I have a question before you leave.”
“Anything for you, Francesca,” I winked.
“Why did you call Cason and not me?” she whispered, her eyes wide, her voice sad.
“Because,” I exhaled tucking her hair behind her ear, “I’ve upset your life enough, and I wasn’t going to make you miss work to come hold my hand while I talked to my daddy.”
She’s bit her bottom lip for a minute, fisted my shirt and pulled me down to her level. “Listen to me, Cade. If there something going on in your life, I want to know about it. If you need me for something you ask me to be there. Don’t be scared you can make a mess of my life somehow, because you are my life. You understand?” she demanded, pulling me even closer to her face.
I nodded, capturing her lips with mine. I left her a kiss to last for two days. “Next time you’ll know. I have to go now. Pops promised Reid he would have me home before nine. I’ll call or text you later. I love you, Francesca.” I kissed her softly one more time, then give her a hard smack on the rear end and hurried to Pop’s car.
###
The car ride was awkward. Pops pretty much said everything needed earlier in the day. Relief filled me when he dropped me off at Reid’s, until he asked if we could do this again next week. I agreed, much to my confusion. Pops had to work. He had clients and jobs to finish and it seemed that he was taking time away from that to fix things with me.
Perhaps he really was serious about this.
And I guessed it was time for me to be as serious.
Reid was pacing when I entered. His generally happy mood was more of a jittery mess. He stopped when he saw me, his eyes wide. He looked like a deer caught in the head lights.
“What in the hell is going on?” I asked, locking the door for the night.
“Can you and Francesca double date with me on Friday?” He spat out.
Chuckling, I relaxed in the closest seat and gave him a pensive gaze. “You date?” I should’ve known. Obviously his life was more than being a sponsor, though, at times that was a little difficult to believe.
“Yes, Cade, I date, but this is an old friend of mine. I met her when I was in rehab and I haven’t seen her in a long time. She’s gorgeous, okay? I’ve always had a thing for her, but never acted on it. Today she called to say that she wanted to see me and spend time with me, and I’m pretty sure she flirted with me, so I need you and Francesca to go with me,” he rambled.
I held up a hand to stop him and said, “Dude, I don’t need all the little details. Yeah, we’ll go with you. I’ve wanted to take Francesca out anyway.”
He continued pacing, wearing a hole in the floor. He kept his hands locked behind his head, and every few seconds took a deep breath, exhaling slowly and louder than I ever imagined was possible.
“Reid? Why are you so worked up? We’re not chicks, but I mean, you can talk to me if you need to,” I admitted, as manly as I could.
“You’re lucky, you know that? Pam and I…well, we developed really strong feelings for one another while we were patients, but we had to finish our treatment and nothing ever happened. Cade, I think a small part of me still loves her. I probably always will. I don’t know how to tell her that,” he breathed sitting beside me, lowering his head between his legs and shaking them incessantly.
“Let me ask you this,” I started, “what advice would you give me if I was in the situation?”
He sat in that same position for at least five minutes, just bouncing his leg and ignoring my question. Finally he glanced up, giving me a glare and said, “You’re good, you know that? Turning the tables on me.”
I shrugged. There was nothing really to say other than he was right. I reached for the remote, trying to figure out where ESPN was on this TV. Reid finally moved, jumping up and leaving the room, only to come back in a few minutes with two cokes that he sat in front of us.
“Did you and Derek figure things out?” he asked.
He knew I wouldn’t want to talk about this. As a small act of revenge, I put the Coke on the table without a coaster. He coldly stared at it as I replied. “It was okay. It was really awkward, but I guess you are right; if he’s going to try then I should to.”
“Where did you go after your sessions?” He finally had enough of imagining the Coke sweating all over his furniture and moved it back to its coaster.
“We ended up touring the place and sitting there for a long time, and then we went to Francesca’s to eat dinner.”
“How did that go?”
“How do you think it went?” I chuckled. “He loves Francesca more than he loves me, and he barely even knows her. She seems to bring out the best in everyone.”
He nodded his head, took a sip of his Coke, and said, “She definitely brings out the best of you. And he knows that, or he wouldn’t have asked her to be your lawyer, and he wouldn’t be going around getting her clients needing contracts.”
Well, this was news to me. “He’s what?”
He shifted, his eyes growing wide, and he shook his head. “I figured he told you today. Francesca doesn’t know. He told me…he was so happy that you were finally making a change, and he knew it stemmed from her, so he wanted to help her to succeed. All he’s doing is recommending her services when they ask, but from what he said a lot of people ask.”
I contemplated what Reid told me while aimlessly watching the newscast. Pops was different. Or maybe our relationship dynamic was changing. I’d always been so hell-bent on doing everything he wouldn’t approve of that maybe a decent relationship with my father had gotten lost in the mix. He noticed the effect Francesca had on me and was attempting to make things better for her, which in turn would make things better for me.
Had my teenage wild years just gone out of control? I mean, I knew I had obviously lost control at some point, but maybe it had all been for nothing. Maybe it was mainly my fault Pops and I were strained and distant. I needed to talk to mom to find out her thoughts and if she knew what was going on. Pops asking for Brandy tonight obviously showed he wasn’t as cautious and caring as others, and maybe that’s what started it all. Little boys and their fathers were supposed to be close, weren’t they? Sons often following the dads to learn how to be a man. Pops never wanted to be around, which was fine until Cason came along and consumed all of his attention.
Shaking my head, I tried to clear my thoughts. I was beginning to think that I had been to one too many therapists lately because here I was, dissecting 27 years of relationship with my father. I stood, stretched, and bid Reid a good night before climbing up the stairs.
Me: Thank you for tonight. You are wonderful.
&n
bsp; Francesca was the first thing on my mind soon as a settled into bed, so texting her was my top priority.
Francesca: No problem, babe. I’m glad I got to spend time with you.
Me: Same here. I wish I could see you tomorrow.
Francesca: I know, but I promised Bree.
Me: I understand. Don’t you do these every so often, anyway?
Francesca: Yeah, but I’m afraid Daphne will get drunk and cause a scene. Then seconds later, she sent: Francesca: I’m sorry, does me talking about that upset you?
I wondered how long people would tread so lightly around me. Yeah, I was an alcoholic, but I admitted it and was getting help for it. I needed to remember and ask Reid tomorrow.
Me: No, it doesn’t bother me. You can talk about anything with me. Just because I’m an alcoholic doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it.
Francesca: Okay. I just don’t want to upset you. I can’t lose you again, Cade.
Me: You won’t. Ever. Stop being negative.
Francesca: I’ll try. Going to sleep, call me tomorrow. I love you.
Me: I will. I love you, too.
Exhaustion from the day snuck up on me, wrapping itself around me like a warm blanket, tugging me under. I barely got the phone on the bedside table before I was asleep.
Chapter Six – Francesca
Girl’s night was set to begin in less than two hours. My floor was going to need some work on it, remodeling or whatever it was you called it, because I was wearing a hole in it. Pacing constantly, fidgeting incessantly. Bree let me know she talked to Daphne, but that was it. She didn’t tell me what was said, or give me any idea of what I was walking into tonight.
It was unsettling.
I dressed for comfort, not caring if I impressed anyone at this point. I just wanted my best friend back in my life, to help me plan my wedding, and share my excitement. Daph and I used to make our wedding invitations for the boys we liked in junior high, creating notebooks for all the details we wished to have one day. Disney love was something that didn’t go unnoticed by us, and we used our obsession to guide our plans. When younger, we drew our dresses and pictures of what we imagined everything would look like. Once scissors were no longer a foreign idea, we switched to cutting things out of magazines. I wondered if my mom still had my notebook somewhere?
###
Our usual bar was overrun with college students. It must’ve been one of their fall breaks, and they were taking advantage. I searched and dodged through the bodies until I found my group and awkwardly slid in the booth beside Kylie. “Hey,” I said, avoiding Daphne’s direction.
“Hey, Francesca! I guess congratulations are in order,” Ava grinned from across the table.
I couldn’t stop the delighted expression that took hold of me as I nodded and said thank you. Out of habit, I looked at Daphne who gave me a cold gaze as she swirled the straw in her cup. One glance and my guess was Bree failed her mission.
“Have you and Cade made any plans yet?” Kylie questioned.
I opened the menu, deciding something greasy was what I needed in order to forget my woes. After deciding on some cheesy, fattening dish, I signaled for the waiter. I could still feel Daphne’s green eyes staring through me, but I refused to say anything or make a scene. When the young woman came over to take my order, I made a devastating decision that would disappoint Cade and myself. “I want the cheesy fries with bacon and sour cream, and I want your fruitiest alcoholic drink,” I instructed as I dug through my wallet for my ID.
Kylie gasped beside me; Bree kicked me under the table, and I thought I heard Daphne curse under her breath. The last few months had been extremely stressful with one thing after another happening to turn my life upside down. And the icing on the cake wasn’t just Daphne hating my fiancé, but tomorrow happened to be the anniversary of my sister’s death. It marked six years since I lost her, and I really did want to stay strong, but I just didn’t know if I could anymore. Daphne was always there for me during this time, holding me if I needed to cry, listening if I needed to vent. This would be the first time I didn’t have her there for me. I couldn’t burden Cade with my pain when he had so much of his own.
I knew relationships were supposed to go both ways. It was a constant give-and-take between two people that loved and cared for one another, and I knew one day Cade and I would be there. Now wasn’t the right time. Cade deciding to face and conquer his addiction after all these years was a huge steppingstone in his life. I couldn’t make things harder for him. He meant so much and he often doubted himself. We were a lot alike in that way.
“When did you start drinking?” Brooke spat at me.
I stared at her, not really wanting to fight her either, but had to say something. “I’m an adult and I don’t need to explain myself to you.”
Her eyes narrowed into tiny slits full of anger and vengeance. I doubted I would ever know why she disliked me so, but did I really care? My drink arrived saving me from any more dangerous conversation.
I took a sip, the fruity flavors burst on my tongue and danced in my mouth, followed by a strong bitter taste, I assumed was some sort of liquor. It was good, though potent, so I took another sip. I wanted to forget. The argument, the stress of being there for Cade, what tomorrow signified. Drinking wasn’t something I did, so why was I now?
My conscience knew this wasn’t the solution and everything in me screamed to stop, but with everything on my shoulders, I just couldn’t.
Bree cleared her throat, so I gazed up. Her concerned eyes met mine, and she leaned closer, whispering, “You might want to slow down.”
I shook my head, slurping the rest of the drink. I knew deep down that this was wrong and not who I was. It wasn’t the solution for anything and would fix nothing. In fact, it would probably cause more problems. I had serious issues when it came to dealing with things. After Josie died, everything in me shut down, closed off. Not many people were able to penetrate my barriers, nor did they truly know who I was. I really needed to discuss these things with my therapist.
Brooke left shortly before my greasy deliciousness arrived. I offered to share and everyone took a bite, except Daphne, of course. I clicked on my phone checking the time and hoping I could get away soon. Somewhere in there, the alcohol had started to take effect. My problems no longer nagged at me so harshly,and I felt like yelling at Daphne. I wanted to fix things, but yell at her in the same moment. How messed up was that?
I swiveled my head and locked our gazes. “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
Her cheeks reddened, and someone gasped at the same time someone kicked me hard in the shin. I didn’t care. It felt good to sort of stand up for myself, even if it was to the person I considered my sister.
“What the hell are you talking about?” she bit out, hitting her fist on the table. She was angry, her nostrils were flaring, and her whole face, as well as her neck, was breaking out in a red rash. “You think your life is so perfect and get mad at me because I was concerned. Well, I don’t care what you do,” she said, lifting both palms up in the air and throwing her body back against the booth. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at me while she waited for an answer.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You called me stupid because you can’t stand the thought of someone being happy. You are so bitter and have so many doubts about what love is and expect everyone else to feel that same exact way.” I mocked her gestures,
“Well, tell me how you really feel. I’m leaving,” she scoffed, getting her purse to throw money on the table. “I’m so disappointed in you, Francesca. And with what tomorrow is. Unbelievable.”
“Don’t bother,” I stated, placing 50 bucks under my cup. “I’ll go, so you can stay and have fun.” I stood abruptly, causing the room to spin ever so slightly.
“I’ll drive you home, lightweight,” Bree said before standing. She bid everyone a good bye and I simply waved. She guided me by my elbow, taking my keys and helping me into the car.
I leaned my head on the rest and closed my eyes, a single tear sliding down my face. When I heard her close the car door and the engine start, I spoke. “Tomorrow is six years since my sister died. I don’t think Cade knows, and Daphne has always helped me through the day,” my voice was barely a whisper, cracking and breaking with each word.
“Oh, honey,” she said, rubbing comforting circles on my arm. “No wonder you drank tonight. You should tell me this before I demanded you come. I tried to talk to Daphne, but it was no use. That girl is stubborn.”
I nodded. “And I love her for it.” The tears came harder until my whole body shook. I missed my friend.
“Why don’t you ever talk about your sister? I wish I’d known what tomorrow meant to you,” she thought allowed.
It made me cry harder.
Bree held me, rocking me as I bawled. She spoke words of reassurance, and eventually drove me home. She offered to stay, but I declined, knowing Ally would need her mommy in the morning. I undressed, sliding into sweats and a tee before curling up with Hamlet in my bed. His soft purr vibrated my hand, creating a calming effect. His little whiskers tickled my nose as I snuggled his face. He stayed right with me all night, curled by my side or sprawled out on top of me.
The delicate sounds emitting from his furry body eventually lulled me to sleep.
###
“What is it, Zander?” I sighed, closing the folder I was working on and moving to the next.
“Francesca, look at me,” he demanded. He stood just inside the door, leaning his tall body against the frame, and stared at me. “It’s Friday, it’s afternoon, and you need to go home. I don’t know why you’re in this mood you’re in, but you don’t need to see clients this way and frankly, I can’t deal with it anymore. I called the only appointment you had and rescheduled for Monday. You’re welcome.” He turned on his heel before I could speak and sauntered away.
Entangled Souls: Cade and Francesca (Scarred Hearts #1.5) Page 5