Whiskey When We're Dry

by John Larison

  He just looked on me. His green eyes revealed nothing. There come a tapping on the door and he opened it without inquiring who might be there at such a late hour.

  By now the blacks was tidying and the Governor and his kind was smoking upstairs.

  Drummond entered. Behind him come another. Three men now intent on me. “What’s this?” I asked.

  The Colt had been taken after the wager and not yet returned. I pulled the knife I’d taken from the dinner table. I said, “Then die trying.”

  But these men were trained in hand-to-hand. Greenie stepped past the knife and seized my arm and twisted it behind my back and then there wasn’t nothing I could do to protect myself. I might’ve been their match with a pistol but I was just a kid without it. Still I kicked and caught Drummond with the first blow and he went to the floor holding his stones.

  They took turns on me. The blows was to my belly and chest and thighs, not one to my face. At first they was holding my arms back, then they was just holding me up. I heard the sound of the hits as if they was across a hall.

  When I finally went down it was Drummond who lifted me from the floor and heaved me into the wall. “My turn now, Yank.” He put a knee into my groin. The pain was fresh. Then he went to work on my guts. He only stopped because I upchucked on him.

  They left me to my suffering on the floor.

  A fever come over me and I shivered. The pain only increased as the liquor faded. I watched the moon track across the sky and still I laid there in the dark, unsleeping, allowing only the shallowest of breaths and aware of every moment.

  Despite the pain, my good fortune was not lost on me, and I was grateful for this opportunity to bleed on the floor of the Governor’s mansion, a step closer to salvation beside my brother.

  * * *

  —

  Come morning Greenie lifted me gentle-like and helped me to the bunk. He had brought me some whiskey. I took it and felt the stuff pull a quilt over my wounds. He sat down on his bed and set his hat on the covers beside him. It was but some hours since he had driven fists into my flesh. Now he offered me tobacco.

  “You manned up and took it proper.”

  “To hell with you.” The words hurt. “You ain’t chasing me off.”

  “That’s the spirit. See, someday we’ll be drawing fire and might as well be just us in this whole damn world and we’ll know you the kind to stick. You’ll likely get it worse on account you’re taking Drum’s commission work, but that will pass. Drum hasn’t been making many commissions anyhow. You’ll know you’re past the worst of it when they give you a nickname.”

  “More whiskey.”

  “Boss knows you’ll be laid up today. He’s sending me down for your horse now. Boss took a special liking to you. Ain’t seen that before. Boss ain’t the type to take a liking. The rest of us, we had to earn our spot with some dirty work. That fact will keep the boys sour for a time. Especially Drum. But not me. I’m glad not to be the youngest no more.”

  “Ingrid is my mare’s name.” A cramp cut me off.

  “I’ll tend to her good. You got my word, Straight. How old is you anyhow? Where’d you get them marks on your face?”

  “Bastard’s knife.”

  “Your old man?”

  “Nah.”

  “Bet you cut loose the bastard’s nuts in return.” Greenie smiled. “Those marks likely helped you, honest. They make you look more seasoned than your years. What is you, eighteen?”

  “Twenty-one.”

  “You know what they say, a Yank at twenty-one is a Reb at fourteen. You look like you put that notion to the test. Governor took a chance, I reckon, building us of both kinds. He’s a Yank himself so you got that going. Drum will probably say that’s why. But the truth is the Governor might be the only man in this here whole Republic to’ve put the war behind him. He talks like this state is the step forward. The real trouble is the shortage of females. I’d like to say you get used to it. But, shit. You got a girl?”

  I shrugged.

  “You into girls?”

  “Course.”

  “I ain’t asking if you a fish or nothing. Just a warning. Whatever you do, don’t you get caught looking on that Constance. She is quick with the tongue and her eye wanders but that don’t mean she taking any fancy in you. Governor’s keen on getting her married before the natural troubles come. Drum and Tuss and I head to the whores on payday. You can join. Governor gifts us each a trip to the top house on payday. Ain’t like the girls you see on the trail, old dogs and witches. These ones is, well, don’t get me thinking on it. Payday still a long ways off. I got a powerful hunger for the females, myself. Ain’t a fish bone in this ol’ body.”

  He rose and put on his hat. He offered me his hand, and I took it. “Well, I’ll go get your mare.”

  I gave him my bandanna. “Let her smell this and she’ll follow you.”

  * * *

  —

  Sleep come to me around midmorning and by the afternoon I found my way outside and was pleased to discover a posture that didn’t hurt if I held perfect still and did not breathe. I was left with bruises under my shirt and mounds of swelling, but nothing that wouldn’t heal.

  Ingrid was waiting for me in the stable and bucked her head when she saw me coming. I smiled at the sight of that perfect animal. I slipped her a biscuit from the table.

  “Pretty sight you is, girl.”

  She put her lips to my cheek and knocked my hat free.

  * * *

  —

  We walked a short distance to the cottonwoods and I took a seat against a log while Ingrid rolled herself clean in the grass. It was the kind of bright, no-sun day when you keep an ear for thunder. Down below smoke rose from chimneys and lingered low over the city in the still air.

  I brushed Ingrid out and she ate heartily from the Governor’s grain. With feed like that she could fatten up proper.

  Like me Ingrid had aged on the trail. I pushed her too hard most days and we got too early a start most mornings and now her hips shown through her skin. She deserved a long rest with good feed. I told her as much. I waved a fly from her eye and put my forehead to her cheek.

  Ingrid’s ear swiveled and I turned likewise.

  Constance hurried by in riding clothes. She was leading that black mare of hers. She saw us and tipped her hat in the manner of a cowpoke. I wasn’t clear if she was mocking me or the world in general.

  She reminded me some of Elizabeth Annalee, not in physical form or color or demeanor. Maybe it was merely that she was a woman who wasn’t yet a mother. Or maybe it was that I couldn’t tell where the show ended and she began. I watched as she led her animal to the lunging ring.

  Her big mare got to trotting circles in connection to a rope that hung from Constance’s left hand. In her right was the whip. The mare trotted with an eye back on that whip.

  I put Ingrid back inside the gates and then walked near.

  “What’s her name?” I called.

  Constance kept her eyes on her work. “Enterprise.”

  “Queer name.”

  “Father named her. He insists on being the namer of all things. Your animal is terribly small.”

  I hung my arms over the fence like a man is wont to do. The motion hurt fierce on account of my bruises. “She is quick for her size.”

  “Do you enjoy a small horse? She seems better suited to a girl. Or maybe a demure little Paiute.”

  I spat. “She’s the only horse I ever knowed. We got plenty in common. We come up together.”

  “I agree you both fit together nicely. Only it seems a man would want a bigger horse is all. I haven’t met a man yet who doesn’t buy the biggest horse of the herd. Men are always so concerned with the dimensions of things. Are you in pain? You look like you are in pain.”

  “Your mare don’t trust you.”

&nb
sp; “She respects me. Well, she is learning to respect me. She is of Carolina stock, and her sire is well regarded for his leaping capacities. Moon Shadow is his name. You’ve heard of him if you keep current with riding.”

  “That ain’t respect she’s learning by your whip.”

  “The whip is only for show. She rarely needs a lick. She was tamed by Sir Edmond Huffington. He is masterful with these animals. Father sent for him from London.”

  “Well, he must know his business if he comes that far to conduct it.”

  “She will be made to jump for me. I only agreed to go to Alexandria if Mr. Scott agreed to build me a stable and a course. I intend to become a well-regarded rider.”

  “Do they let girls jump horses?”

  “If not, I intend to be the first. Have you ever sat on a horse as it sailed over a beam? The feeling is the closest humankind can come to flight.” She pursed her lips at the thought. “If I was someone else I would load this animal and disappear among those mountains. To leap real timbers fallen across a trail, to be united in speed with a beast of four legs and a thousand pounds as it dodges through the timber . . . I have this dream in which I outrun a band of Comanche.” She glanced my way and then sent a flick down the lead rope. “I so envy you men. The world simply awaits your explorations.”

  “Sometimes it feels like it’s waiting on us to make a mistake.”

  Constance nickered and Enterprise’s ear cocked.

  I had walked down here for a reason. “I don’t see your ma. Did she pass on?”

  Constance waved a fly from her face. “Mother is in New York. Mother moved back when I was two years old. She was no match for this place.”

  I must’ve looked confused.

  “Their marriage is political, you understand. There is little joy in the union. Out here she was prone to lie about for weeks on end with the curtains drawn. Mother is the type to need brick walls to shore her dainty energies, as well as alleys to tempt her figurative mind. She is of the old class. They don’t believe in dirty hands. I visit her each summer. The train makes the voyage quick enough, and in truth I rather relish the adventure. Or the notion of the adventure. Rest of the year I am on this estate. Father brings the tutors to me here. Mother was right to leave my upbringing to a nanny, and these mountains, and these animals. That is the only thing mother has been right about.”

  Senator Scott hollered from the barn. “Constance. There you are.” He walked to the fence beside me and said, “Hello, Mr. Straight. A surprise to find you here.”

  “Mr. Senator.”

  “Senator Scott, please. I have collected your share of the winnings, good man. Would you like them? Then come with me and leave poor Constance to her lunging. That mare is a problem, despite her terrific expense. Too headstrong for good work, I fear.”

  Enterprise regained her trot. She was as strong and beautiful as any horse I had ever been close to. She held her tail high and controlled her feet with prancing precision. She seemed to float about the ring. Her eye held mine as she made the turn.

  “Mr. Straight,” the senator said in a quiet tone as we walked toward the house. “That mare has been promised to me. It would not be looked upon favorably if a man such as yourself complicated that. I would take even greater offense, given the primary role I played in bringing you here.”

  “I have no interest in a new horse,” I said. “I got Ingrid.”

  His face revealed nothing. “Yes. Well. Here is your percentage. You will see I added a touch more than the standard two percent, as a token of respect. Respect, Mr. Straight. That is all I ask in return.”

  The paper money was thick in my hand. It filled me with good spirits. “Yessir. I understand. I didn’t mean no offense watching your mare.”

  “And no offense was taken. Now, how about we toast our little victory yesterday?”

  The thought wet my tongue. “I would like that very much.”

  I found myself in the parlor with a gin listening to the senator’s thinking about the future of our western state, labor, prosperity, harmony between the races—he had ideas on everything and didn’t expect me to offer much in the way of response. He was testing himself before me like I was some manner of mirror. The whole while the black who poured our drinks stood nearby in case we needed another.

  I had been nodding to the senator’s subjects for three drinks when he at once grew solemn. “What did she say, anyway?”

  “Who?” I shrugged.

  Senator Scott’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t be coy with me. I am not a fool. I see how men look at her. I am more than a decade her senior but that is how such marriages are arranged. A man must prove himself to be a worthy suitor via the challenges of the marketplace, while a girl is best plucked from the vine early so she might ripen in the presence of he who will best look out for her.

  “I apologize. I have been put to . . . Well, I hear things, false things no doubt, yet they are enough to occupy my mind. Even to sour it in moments.” He sipped from his drink. “I am deeply invested in this marriage, you understand. It would not be a simple prospect to step back. Even if honor necessitated a prompt exit, I would be bound to follow through by certain . . . financial realities.” He seemed to decide better of this subject. He took down the remainder of his drink. “I joke. These are life’s great excitements, the infinitely unknowable aspects of any worthy endeavor. Ours is a continent built upon the worthy foundation of promise and courage. Is it not?”

  * * *

  —

  The drinks had me in a haze and I took their liquid to the servant’s holehouse out back. I pulled shut the door and found it had no system of locking from the inside and so I was inclined to peek out the door before I drew down my britches and got to it. Pissing had a manner of putting me off my game. I might play the part of a man well enough that at times I done forgot the truth, but there wasn’t no pretending when it come to pissing. Someday I would be at work with the men and far off from any holehouse or trees. What would I do then to relieve my stores? Best to keep myself parched.

  When I was through, I bound my winnings in twine and affixed them to the underside of the bench as Pa would’ve.

  As I crossed the yard I swore to myself I would put liquor at a distance. I enjoyed it plenty, but my aim drifted when I was drinking. I hadn’t hardly thought of Noah since taking my first drink of the day.

  But when I come inside Greenie was there with a bottle. “This is for you, from the Governor. To heal your bruises. We work tomorrow, so let’s get to it today. Also he said you was to share a healthy portion with me.” Greenie fixed his hat. He wasn’t much of a liar. “Okay, maybe I added that last part my own self.”

  * * *

  —

  When I awoke in the morning I found a new set of clothing on the bed beside me. There was new boots on the floor. On the coat hook was a duster like Drummond’s and a clean black hat.

  I pulled back the wool and felt the full force of my first drought. I vomited into the spittoon and lay back in the bed, too dry for thought. A whole night had been lost to me and I feared what damages I may have inflicted while still standing. Ain’t wise for a man with shallow secrets to drink deep.

  Last thing I remembered was Greenie and me singing to the empty bottle.

  Too soon, there come a knock on the door.

  “Yep?”

  “May I, sir?” It was one of the blacks.

  “Come in, but quiet-like if’n you would.”

  The door inched open and Will entered. He was dressed in his finery. His eyes did not demur. He looked upon me like we had some contention.

  “Last night, did I wrong you?”

  He only said, “The Governor wants you upstairs.”

  “Okay.”

  Will did not leave. His jacket could not hide the contour of his muscles. Veins rode high over his hands. Now I said to him, “
You look on me like we got beef.”

  “Don’t keep the Governor waiting. Sir.” The door shut behind him.

  I dressed in my new clothing and found the articles well starched. The britches was a touch tight in the hips. My new boots was stiff and dead set against my feet, I had never owned a new pair. I bent to stretch the tightness from my bruises.

  My mouth was ash and acid and so I stopped in the kitchen to dip three cups from the bucket. Dizziness passed over me. I resolved then and there to never drink another drop of whiskey.

  * * *

  —

  I arrived in the foyer to discover the Governor had already departed for his appointments in town. I found instead Drummond. He spat when he saw me. “You kept the Governor waiting.”

  “I’m a touch ill.”

  “What is you for real? Fifteen?”

  “And you one hundred and fifteen?”

  “I would kill you now if’n it wouldn’t put me in bad favor with my employer.”

  “So I am safe then. What is it you hold in your hands, old man?”

  Drummond let the woodbox fall directly to the floor. It landed with a substantial racket that echoed down the corridor. “The other is in the corner,” he said and walked from the house. He left the door open.

  I took a step toward the box.

  “Let’s go,” Drummond said.

  I knelt to the ground and pried back the box lid. Inside was a double holster and two silver Peacemakers. One was short barreled and the other long, just like Drummond’s. I lifted the short one and knowed right off I’d never before held a pistol with proper balance. I lifted the weapon into the light. It was a sight to behold. Its workings was smooth as butter, and I cocked and released the hammer a dozen times to relish its music.

  My eyes fell on the corner. There was a new scabbard and in it I found not an old Sharps or Spencer but a new Winchester repeating rifle. This had been the very weapon Pa hoped to own from the moment he saw it hanging in a shop. I lifted and worked its action. I squeezed the trigger and it cracked like glass. It was gold and blue and its stock didn’t have even a briar scratch.