Silent Whisper

by ANDREA SMITH

  “No, well yeah, I guess there is,” I replied, now placing my hands in my lap. “I don’t like this arrangement anymore. I feel like I’m living in some vacuum. No, it’s more than that, I feel like I’m playing some major part in a sick play and I’ve forgotten my lines and I don’t even care if I remember them anymore,” I blurted, my face flushing with embarrassment because I knew damn well that I was babbling like an idiot.

  He was silent.

  Watching me, his eyes narrowed just a bit as if he were trying to interpret my sudden mood change and idiotic diatribe.

  “It’s not enough,” I sighed. “I want more.”

  I saw his face relax just a bit, a soft sigh escaping his lips. He leaned in closer, his eyes searching mine.

  “Baby,” he breathed, “If you need more of an allowance all you have to do is ask. I can’t read minds.”

  I looked up abruptly, bringing my hands back to the table. “It’s not the fucking money, for Christ’s sake. I want—no, I need to be a part of something. I want to earn my money the right way. I don’t want to continue being a paid…whore. I’m twenty years old and when I look forward, I just don’t see my future.”

  His hand reached across the table and covered mine. “Don’t ever again refer to yourself as a whore, do I make myself clear?”

  He squeezed my hand ever so slightly for a response. I couldn’t look at him. I simply nodded my head.

  “Because I’ve never, ever treated you like a whore, have I? I provide for you, I protect you, I take good care of you and I treat you well. What more can I give to you that I haven’t already?”

  “I need some self-respect,” I replied. “And that? That is simply something that only I can give to myself. I don’t feel good about what I’m doing, what I’m allowing you to do,” I said softly. “It’s not right, and you know it.”

  He looked down at his steepled hands, and was silent for a moment. When he looked back up, I could see the emotion in his eyes.

  “It’s because I never tell you that I love you, isn’t it?” he asked, not waiting for my response. “But you have to know that my heart belongs to you, Karlie. You know that, right?”

  “Dominic . . ,” I stammered, totally floored by what he was saying.

  I had never suspected that he had fallen in love with me. Even though I knew that I had feelings of attachment for him, I hadn’t quite gotten to the point where I was ready to call it ‘love’. I had no experience with romantic love. I really had no use for it right now.

  “Karlie,” he said, his thumb rubbing my fingers, “I know that I don’t share a lot of things with you, baby, but that doesn’t mean it’s just about the sex with us. I don’t share things because it’s better for you that way. It’s…safer.”

  Now was the perfect opportunity to open that door with him. I realized that because it was the first time that I had seen any vulnerability in him and I needed to make use of it.

  “Don’t you see? That’s exactly why I feel so shut out of your life. I mean, I don’t even know what it is you do for a living. The few times when I’ve asked, you’ve simply told me that you’re involved in mergers and acquisitions. What the hell? I’m not stupid, you know. I’ve figured certain things out for myself, and well—you either trust me, or you don’t. I don’t want to stay with someone who says I have his heart, but shuts me out of everything else. I don’t know if you have children, or if your wife knows about me. What if she decides to have me hurt, or eliminated altogether? Don’t you think I’ve thought about that?”

  I was getting emotional now and he was clearly not comfortable with the conversation taking place in a public restaurant.

  He leaned in closer, his other hand brushing my blond hair back from my face. “Karlie, we’ll talk once we’re back at your place. I suppose I owe you some answers. Can we just finish with our dinner and then we’ll go home and we’ll talk, okay?”

  I nodded, tears starting to well up because he was being so sweet and so fucking sincere and in that moment I knew that I’d won over his trust. I knew that he had been totally honest about his feelings for me, and I also knew deep inside, that any information he gave up, I would store in my memory banks for future reference.

  “By the way, baby,” he said, giving me a smile, “When is your birthday?”

  “May fifteenth,” I replied. “Just a few weeks from now.”

  “We’ll have cause to celebrate soon,” he said, taking a sip of wine, and watching me carefully over the rim of his glass. “You’ll be twenty-one then and officially allowed to drink.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I replied softly, raising my wine glass to my lips and keeping my eyes locked with his.

  I didn’t grace him with a smile though because I knew Dominic by now. And he needed to know just how serious I was about him letting me in. It was my top priority at the moment.

  chapter 4

  Once Dominic and I returned to my condo, he poured himself a shot of bourbon and took a seat on the sofa next to me; his right hand loosened his tie slowly. I knew he was trying to assemble his thoughts in order to speak to the issues I had raised during dinner.

  “Karlie,” he started, his voice not much more than a hoarse whisper, “My family’s business is extremely complex and diverse as you’ve probably already figured out. Our investments span domestic and international territories; and our market segments include both services and products.”

  He stopped talking and looked over at me as if he had finished with his summary of the ‘family business.’

  Not even.

  “That’s it?” I asked, blinking.

  “What more do you need to know?” he asked, not blinking.

  I turned around to face him squarely. “How about if you share some of the details about the products and services of your business segments?”

  “Why’s that so important to you?”

  I shrugged. “It’s like I said at the restaurant, I feel shut-out of your life except for when we’re in bed. I’m not sure what I’m getting myself into by being so…accessible to you. I don’t see a future in any of this. I’m too fucking young to be put on a shelf and I guess in all honesty, I’m quickly becoming bored.”

  I had struck a chord with that last sentence I could tell. His muscles tensed; and his eyes flickered over me with a flash of uncertainty that was rare if not non-existent with him.

  He immediately pulled me over against him; fisting his hand into the hair at the nape of my neck so that my head was tilted back and my face only inches from his.

  “Our business services range from gathering intelligence, promoting our security services, real estate investments, transportation and licensing to entertainment segments such as gambling and racing facilities. Our products range from pharmaceuticals to weapons. That’s as specific as I’m prepared to be at the moment, Tesoro,” he murmured. “Now tell me how I can cure your boredom?”

  “I need a job,” I replied. “I need something to do with my time besides shop and paint my nails. I need to feel…productive in some way. Do you get that?”

  He nodded, but remained silent. He was studying me carefully, anticipating what words would follow because they were going to be my words and not his.

  “I want to get a job. If you have no place for me in any of your business ventures, then I’ll find one on my own, but I need to do something.”

  “I see,” he said quietly, contemplating what I’d just said. He raised his right hand and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Let me talk to my brothers, mia amore. Perhaps we can find a place for you…somewhere.”

  I felt myself brighten with just those words. Because I knew Dominic, and I was now beginning to understand just how deep his feelings ran for me. I felt a smile spread across my face at the prospect of not only having something to do to occupy my time, but getting my foot in the door with—well, let me just say it without mincing words: the mob.

  After all, it had been the whole reason that I’d agreed to go along with his offer to
begin with. I had lost sight of that over these past few months because of his attentiveness and generosity I suppose. But I continued to remind myself what his family had taken from me and had probably taken from countless other families along the way.

  Maybe Dominic himself had already followed in his father’s footsteps in that respect. Maybe he had strong-armed others to get what he wanted, or ordered hits on his enemies. Maybe he had even destroyed homes and killed families that had gotten in the way of his family’s business ventures.

  As I looked at him now, I saw a smile creep over his usually serious face. His eyes warmed as they watched the happiness that registered in my demeanor. His hand reached over to cup my chin as he pulled my mouth closer to his. I didn’t want to imagine that he could or would ever be that ruthless; but the fact remained that he had likely been groomed to do just that.

  I couldn’t think about that now, as his lips possessed mine. All I could think about was that I had gotten what I wanted this time, and for that I needed to make good use of it. The fact that I had feelings for him seemed irrelevant in the scheme of things—at least at this moment in time.

  He kissed me with a fervor that was different, but then again, he could be a chameleon when it suited him, and that was a very large part of the intrigue and mystery for me.

  Not to mention his kissing skills because those were extremely well-honed, as was everything else that he did to me in bed.

  He broke away from our kiss, pulling me up and to my feet.

  “Come,” he ordered softly, pulling me behind him. “My birthday present awaits me. I’ve thought about nothing but this all day. And I’m staying the night so you may regret having turned down dessert. I have a hunger that will require a lot of energy on your part.”

  I was surprised—oh, not by the fact that he planned on fucking me raw—I was surprised that he planned on staying all night. That didn’t happen often, or ever, unless Anna Maria was out of town.

  “What?” I asked; the confusion very evident in my voice. “But what will you tell Anna Maria?”

  “Fuck Anna Maria,” he growled. “This is my fucking birthday and this is where I want to spend it, Karlie, in my favorite place, between your legs.”

  chapter 5

  Well this certainly had not been what I had in mind when I told Dominic that I wanted to work.

  I popped a starter bubble from the big wad of gum that I had popped in my mouth earlier. I was trying to see if that last piece of Bazooka that I’d unwrapped and tossed into my mouth minutes earlier would allow me to break the record for largest bubblegum bubble I’d blown this week.

  I got the wad all juiced up and then swallowed the excess saliva in preparation for launch. Curling my tongue up underneath the soft wad of pink gum, I pursed my lips and began to blow air slowly¸ with measured velocity into the hollow of the gum. I stood in front of the mirror over the sink in this tiny cubby of an office that was officially my workplace, and blew until I knew that I’d reached the ‘pre-pop’ limit.

  Wow! I believed I had just set a new record.

  I grabbed the Sharpie marker that was already uncapped, and made hash marks on the mirror at twelve, three, six and nine o’clock locations.

  Yes! I had surpassed yesterday’s bubble by at least two centimeters overall! Yippee!!

  And folks, it is with great pride that I announce today’s winner! Ms. Karlie Lynn Masterson - come on down!

  I was still pushing a bit more air into the bubble when the outside door opened and a man of obvious Italian descent dressed impeccably in a dark three-piece suit abruptly entered my office, shattering my concentration.

  My bubble popped loudly, causing pink bubblegum to drape over a large portion of my face as I turned to face him.

  “May I help you?” I asked, my fingers now subtly trying to pull sections of gum from my nose, chin and cheeks.

  He smiled, showing perfectly even white teeth, and removed a pressed linen handkerchief from his front jacket pocket. He handed it to me; and his dark grey eyes sparkled a bit.

  “Thanks,” I murmured, feeling the flush spread across my gum-veiled face.

  “I’m Marco Trevani,” he said, his voice rich and velvety smooth. “I’m supposed to meet Nick here at noon. I might be just a bit early.”

  I hurriedly used his hankie to get the rest of the gum off of my face. I had no clue that Dominic was stopping by, but he had commented that he felt I wasn’t taking my new position very seriously. Maybe he was checking up on me.

  But seriously, I worked in an office that was about the size of my bedroom, answering the phone the whole half-dozen times it rang throughout my eight-hour day. Writing down the messages left for Dominic, Vinnie or Little Sal, men that I imagined to be mob thugs because of the thick east-coast-tinged-with-Italian accents they had.

  My job also consisted of monthly billing and receipt processing for the thirty-some storage units attached to my office. They were all full, but rarely did anyone drive in or out of the gates. Most of the rental units were paid in cash through the drop-box cut into the heavy steel door that went directly inside a locked metal container. A few of the “renters” would pop in and pay their rental fees personally—in cash.

  I glanced up at the wall clock. It was 11:50 a.m.

  “Please have a seat, Mr. Trevani,” I said, as I gestured toward the chair in the corner by the coat rack. “I’m sure Dominic will be here shortly. Would you like a cup of coffee?” I asked, waving toward the electric coffee maker that sat on a small cart next to the sink.

  “No, I’m fine, thank you,” he replied.

  I started to hand him back his handkerchief, but he held his hand up, shaking his head. “It’s okay. You keep it. You might need it again this afternoon.”

  I saw a slow smirk and knew that he had guessed just how fucking bored I was with my new career.

  “I guess you can tell that I’m a bit…underutilized here,” I said, letting a small laugh escape.

  He gave me a genuine smile. “Just a tad,” he replied. “It’s a good thing you don’t suffer from claustrophobia I would say,” he continued, glancing around at the close quarters.

  My office was actually one of the storage units that had been converted by adding a door, a window, wiring and some plumbing.

  “I hear that,” I replied, giving him another smile. “This wasn’t what I had in mind for a career,” I mumbled. “How about I put on some music?” I asked, as I turned my desk radio on without waiting for an answer. The silence was getting uncomfortable because I had no clue what Mr. Trevani was about and there I was—talking to him like an old chum.

  Fuck I should know better.

  The radio was playing a Cars’ tune, ‘Tonight She Comes.’

  Lovely.

  I don’t know why I felt so exposed in Marco Trevani’s presence. I mean it wasn’t as if he were openly gawking at me or anything. For the love of Christ, he was doing his best to bide his time by checking his watch, straightening his tie and brushing an invisible piece of lint from his lapel. Whatever cologne he was wearing was totally the bomb.

  Just then, the door opened again and Dominic crossed over the threshold, his eyes bolting back and forth between Marco Trevani and me, as if we were having sex versus simply hanging in there until he arrived. I saw the relaxation seep over him as his eyes caught mine.

  “Karlie,” he breathed, “Can you please run down to the deli and grab a couple of sandwiches for us?”

  I stood up, kind of having my wobble going on because the chemistry in this small space was damn near pungent. I couldn’t, for the life of me, even read it. But I knew that Dominic was not happy.

  “Sure,” I murmured. “Mr. Trevani, what would you like?” I asked, picking up a ballpoint pen on my desk to write it down on my steno notebook.

  “It’s for you and me,” Dominic growled. “Marco and I will be finished by the time you return. I’ll have the usual.”

  With that he turned from me, directing his attention t
o Marco. I could feel my cheeks flush, but not out of embarrassment, it was out of pure anger.

  Apparently I had been dismissed.

  I grabbed my shoulder bag and snatched the twenty-dollar bill from Dominic’s outstretched hand, not even bothering to look at him as I left the office, letting the door slam shut behind me.

  I had taken several steps from the building when I stopped in my tracks hearing Dominic’s raised voice.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing coming here without my being here? You know the drill with how I run my businesses.”

  I’d never heard what he sounded like when he was angry. It was kind of scary at the moment.

  “Then perhaps from now on, you’ll take me seriously when I say that I need to see you, Nick. Hey, it was Vinnie who told me that you’d be here checking up on your not-so-secret pastime. Calm down, we need to talk business.”

  Marco’s voice had been clear, calm and decisive. He had never raised it as if in anger the way that Dominic had.

  I wasn’t about to take another step until I heard more about whatever business Marco had come to discuss.

  “I thought I had made myself clear after the last shipment, Marco, that we wouldn’t be doing business any more. I don’t deal with stepped-on China White - it’s bad for business.”

  “Nicky, Nicky—hold on, my friend. Did you think I knew before you took possession of those units what had happened? C’mon, we’ve been doing business long enough. You should know by now I don’t broker like that. I act in good faith at all times. It was a mix-up. It happens. Hey, we’re family, right?”

  Dominic’s voice had a steel-edge to it now. “Not to me it doesn’t, family or not. I got burnt on that, Marco, and I’d be a fool to give you an opportunity to burn me twice, now wouldn’t I?”

  “Hey, the person responsible for that little mix-up has been, as they say, properly handled. Clean slate here, okay? And what if your brothers don’t feel the same way as you, huh? What if Vinnie and Little Sal are cool with what I’ve got coming across the border and want some of the action? We’re talking upwards of ten million on the street. What do you say to that?”