Silent Whisper

by ANDREA SMITH

  He gifted me with a gorgeous emerald ring that had smaller diamonds encrusted on either side of it. He had purchased delicate emerald earrings with tiny teardrop diamonds underneath the stone.

  His driver took us to a Manhattan nightclub called The Ritz. It was very upscale with live music and dancing.

  Dominic and I enjoyed several flutes of champagne, and I was feeling a bit toasted by the time the band played, “Broken Wings.” He smiled as he stood up, pulled me to my feet, and into his arms. It was turning out to be a perfect evening.

  It was then that he whispered against my ear ever so softly that he loved me. He’d never said those words to me before, and truthfully, I’d never considered him to be the type of man to verbalize his feelings to a woman even if he had them.

  But in that moment, I knew that I was his, and that my plans for retribution for what his father had done to my family, would never touch Dominic.

  Because I was pretty sure I loved him too.

  Right or wrong—and yes, it was wrong for so many reasons, not the least of which was the fact that he was married. I also knew what being a Castellano meant and the things Dominic did to earn his wealth.

  So afterwards, back in his loft, we toasted my birthday with yet more champagne and the admission that I loved him back.

  I was just tipsy enough to ask a question that had been burning a hole in my brain since the day I had agreed to be accessible to him. A question that I wouldn’t have dared to ask him before I knew that he loved me, and without having a significant amount of champagne in me for courage.

  “Have you ever ordered a hit?” I asked, leaning back against him as we reclined together on his overstuffed sofa.

  I felt him stiffen momentarily. His hands had been caressing the back of my neck softly as I asked that question, and even now they continued as if I hadn’t put the question out there like that.

  I felt his warm breath on my skin, but I couldn’t look at him; I could only wait with baited breath to see what his response would be.

  “Why would you ask me such a thing, Karlie?”

  “Because I want to know if you trust me with the truth, Dominic, and because I need to know how deeply I might be affected by the truth.”

  There was a pause of silence.

  “Yes,” he finally said, with a sigh.

  I settled against him, exhaling softly. I wasn’t shocked. I wasn’t even surprised. Truth be told, it didn’t change the way that I felt about him at all.

  I knew that he was waiting for some sort of reaction out of me, since he had shared something despicable about himself with me, but I had none to give.

  “Baby,” he said softly, “My life is what it is. I grew up knowing what I was and what I would always be, the same as my father, and his father before him in Sicily. It’s not a career choice; it’s simply a way of life that I was born into. But I can promise you that I will never allow you to become part of it. I will make sure that you are never at risk, and that you have no reason to be concerned about your safety or culpability in anything. Do you understand?”

  His dark brown eyes were studying me, wanting to make sure that I knew he was my protector in all of this.

  I swallowed nervously under his perusal, and nodded.

  And that night, Dominic loved me with a passion that had been absent before, though I never would’ve guessed that he had been holding anything back. It was different that night. Haunting yet exciting at the same time and it felt dangerous.

  It might’ve been because of our earlier mutual declaration of love; or it might’ve been because I now knew the extent of this man’s power, along with his promise to be my protector. So let’s face it, his power, along with his passion for me was a potent aphrodisiac for this girl from Chester, West Virginia.

  But it also might’ve been because Dominic didn’t permit me to put my diaphragm in before we hit the sheets that night.

  “No Karlie,” he said, pulling me gently back to him as I started for the bathroom to do what I always did before sex. His fingers tilted my chin, forcing me to gaze into his dark eyes.

  “Not tonight. Not anymore.”

  And I didn’t argue because it would’ve been pointless. Dominic had made up his mind as to what he wanted, and it was something that apparently he wanted from me.

  A child.

  He had never gone into detail as to the specifics, but I’d gotten the impression that having children was important to Dominic. He had never elaborated as to why they had no children, and I didn’t think it was my place to ask.

  After that night, I knew it was a conversation that we needed to have. Bringing Dominic Castellano’s child into this world was something I wasn’t sure that I could ever do.

  And it had nothing to do with the fact that he was married. It was because having his child meant that he or she would be born into the same life that he had been born into, and his ancestors before him.

  While I loved this man, I couldn’t fathom allowing a child of mine to follow in those kinds of footsteps, and I wasn’t all that sure that I’d have a choice in the matter.

  chapter 9

  Apparently Dominic had quite a few more surprises for me on this ‘business’ trip to New York City, and the mind-boggling aspect was that it wasn’t his business he was tending to—it was mine.

  Monday morning his driver took us to the infamous garment district in the Lower East Side. I was thrilled that he cared enough to let me see some of the newest fashions on display by designers such as Norma Kamali, Perry Ellis, Ralph Lauren, Bill Blass and Halston.

  “Select anything you want,” he instructed as he observed me fingering the parachute silk material on a neon blue Norma Kamali jumpsuit.

  I looked over at him and smiled. “I have more than enough in my wardrobe. Besides, most of this is career chic clothing. A little much for West-End Storage, don’t you think?”

  “Agreed,” he murmured lifting a lock of hair from my shoulder. “However, I do think it’s suitable for your up and coming career. I think you’ll most certainly need to dress to impress; I mean if you expect to attract clients.”

  I stopped what I was doing and looked up at him. He was dead-ass serious, but about what?

  “Not following,” I replied, “Care to elaborate?”

  “It’s a birthday surprise for you.” He was practically beaming which was something I’d never seen before, but I liked it. “And it should be completed by the time we return.”

  “Dominic,” I sighed a bit impatiently, “Is this some form of slow torture? What are you talking about?”

  He laughed softly. “Your talents are wasted sitting in that office all day. What kind of person would ignore your potential when it could prove to be quite lucrative?”

  “So you’re promoting me? To what?”

  “How would you feel about opening a clothing boutique? One that carries your own creations?”

  I was stunned and totally confused. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that when we get back, you’ll find that your office has been expanded. I’ve had three of the adjoining storage units emptied and the walls between all three have been opened up to allow space for your workshop. The equipment you’ll need should be in place as well. You’ll have everything you need to design and manufacture your own clothing line for your boutique. Now, we’ll still have to find a suitable location for that, but it won’t take long. In the meantime, you can get started producing the first designs of your very own clothing line.”

  I was dumbstruck. I was in awe. And suddenly, I was panic-stricken. He was gifting me my own line of clothing which was so incredibly awesome but—

  “Dominic,” I whispered, “I love that you think I have great potential in clothing design, but I mean—I don’t know how to sew a stitch, or make a pattern, or thread a needle,” I explained.

  He took my hand into his, raising it up to his full, sensual lips, and lightly brushing them against my palm. “There’s no need to worry, s
weetheart. We’ll find people to do that part for you. You’re only job is to design clothing that will sell. I don’t make investments of this nature without being sufficiently certain that I’ll get a great return on them. Do you understand?”

  I nodded, and swallowed nervously. “Who’ll handle the business end of it?” I asked. “I mean purchasing the materials that will be needed and figuring the cost to produce. I know nothing about that part of it.”

  “You’ll learn,” he replied. “I’ll teach you.”

  Before we left the garment district, I had selected two dozen bolts of sample fabrics that would be perfect for some designs that I’d already finished at home. Dominic purchased them all, along with several bolts of assorted trim I selected to get started with. He had insisted in getting the fabric manufacturer’s name and product code for everything we purchased, explaining to me that he had ‘contacts’ in the textile industry and was certain we could get a better wholesale rate.

  And so my learning began…and with it came an uneasy feeling that this unexpected dream come true could easily morph into a nightmare if I wasn’t careful.

  But it was Dominic and after all, he’d made promises.

  chapter 10

  The following weeks after our return from New York City were interesting to say the least.

  True to his word, my workshop—or mini factory if you will, had been set up complete with cutting tables, several sewing machines, racks, mannequins, mirrors and new overhead lighting. There was even a dressing room. The furniture from the office had been rearranged, so now my desk with the computer was in the workshop area. The area was bigger than what I had expected. It was perfect.

  Everything felt perfect; and I’d never felt more content in my life. The dynamics between us had definitely changed.

  Is this how love is supposed to be?

  It was a question that reverberated over and over in my mind. It was new to me and I wasn’t sure what was normal in this type of a situation. I had no experience with it whatsoever.

  And given the fact that the circumstances between Dominic and me were…complicated, caused even more confusion for me.

  It wasn’t like I didn’t love all the time we spent together, in fact, I found myself missing him when he wasn’t around. He patiently worked with me in setting up the business; he taught me some basic stuff, and really solicited my input.

  He provided me with contacts for everything imaginable including anything I needed for branding and staffing. I quickly learned how to negotiate with suppliers, and set favorable payment terms. I felt important and worthwhile, and most of all, I felt productive and creative. I could even tell that he was proud of me, which was kind of the best part.

  The butterflies in my tummy, that had always been there, now seemed to be in a constant swarm whenever he looked at me, touched me, or God forbid—kissed me.

  And God, when he fucked me it was as if I simply melted into him and we became one. In fact, I would’ve been quite content if his dick never left my insides, I’d decided. We fit each other perfectly.

  He sensed my change of demeanor with him, and at times, I caught a hint of cockiness because of it. He knew I had a thing for him, and his cock, but that didn’t mean he took me for granted, because there was no hint of that at all.

  I felt cherished and safe, and he was spending more and more time with me after work at my condo. He now kept clothes in the closet and I wondered what types of explanations, excuses or lies he was handing Anna Maria. Or maybe she just didn’t care.

  The only thing that I felt slightly shady about was the fact that once we’d returned from New York, I had high-tailed it into the closest Planned Parenthood clinic and obtained a prescription for birth control pills. I knew that Dominic wouldn’t have been happy about that, but I just couldn’t rationalize in my own mind taking that risk.

  Sooner or later he might wonder why I hadn’t turned up prego, but I would cross that bridge when the time came. Besides that, with getting my clothing line up and going, I was going to be far too busy for anything else. This was the opportunity I’d been waiting for my whole life. It was a chance to make something of myself, and to be more than just some backwoods harlot from West Virginia turned paid mistress to a mobster.

  I could make this business as successful as I wanted and never worry about having to depend on anyone else financially or otherwise. It was because of the promise that he had made to me in New York that I felt confident in my new career. I felt a strong sense of security because I knew that he loved me, and I trusted that he’d never let any danger or harm come to me.

  It was because of this newfound confidence and security that I wanted to share this news with Belle, and more than that, I wanted to share it with Lana. I was now in a position to start staffing, and she was at the top of my list. I wanted to get her out of West Virginia, and coming to Camden would be her ticket out of the whorehouse.

  I checked the clock on the wall. It was only a little after three in the afternoon; a perfect time to call Belle’s before the clients started drifting in for the evening. I felt guilty because I hadn’t called there in over a month, and that was the longest I’d gone without staying in touch.

  I was relieved when Belle answered and I filled her in on everything.

  “Oh sugar,” she gushed. “I was worried when I hadn’t heard from you all this time. I knew it had to be something keeping you too busy to check in with the girls and me; I am so damn proud of you. Your own clothing line—why that’s something to be proud of girl. Whatcha goin’ call it?”

  “Well, I’ve been thinking using initials, you know? Like maybe ‘DBK’ - Designs By Karlie. The consultant, who is working on my brand and logo, kind of likes that idea. What do you think?”

  “Shoot honey, it sounds fine to me. I just can hardly wait to see some of your stuff. The girls and I get a discount, don’t we?”

  “Of course,” I laughed, “I can give you some prototypes for free. It’s tax deductible I’ve heard.”

  She laughed good-naturedly, commenting again as to how proud she was, and complimenting me on my newly acquired business savvy.

  “Belle,” I said tentatively, “I also called because I want Lana to come here to Camden. I want to hire her to work for me. I can offer her a nice paying job here. Now I know you want what’s best for her, too. So she’s going to need some convincing. Can I count on you to do that for me?”

  There was dead silence on the other end, and for a moment, I thought we’d been disconnected.

  “Belle?”

  “Yeah, I’m here, sugar. Uh…Lana’s not here any longer. She got married a week ago and moved to North Carolina. I’ve got her address somewhere around here if you want it.”

  What?

  The silence was deafening. I was stunned. Lana and I had been through a lot together; I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t have wanted to share the good news with me. What the hell had happened between us?

  “Karlie?” Belle’s concerned voice at the other end of the phone startled me out of my thoughts.

  “Who’d she marry?” I asked.

  “Remember that older man, Walter was his name, the one who took to Lana immediately?” she asked.

  “The traveling circuit court judge?” I asked, feeling my eyes bulging with shock and awe. I mean it always amazed me that a judge didn’t care that we all knew what he did for a living. Lana was the only one he ever ‘visited’ and we had teased her unmercifully about her loving the “long arm of the law.”

  “Yes, that’s him.”

  “He’s got to be three times her age,” I blurted. “What the hell was she thinking?”

  Belle’s tone changed to one of aggravation. “Maybe she loves him, sugar. And maybe he loves her. He’s been a widower for years. You know how he took to Lana every time he was in the area? Or maybe she simply found a way out, now are you gonna sit there in judgment of that?”

  I was taken aback, but Belle was right. “No,” I said quiet
ly, “It just hurts that she didn’t even let me know. Or invite me to the wedding or anything.”

  “Sugar,” she sighed, “There wasn’t any wedding to invite you to. He popped the question and the next day they eloped. He retired from the bench and he wanted Lana with him. He wants to provide for her and I know that he’ll be good to her, now isn’t that what’s important?”

  “I suppose.”

  “No one here judged your decision, and look how well it’s worked out for you? Now granted, Walter is not young and handsome like your Nick is, but he was willing to give her his name and make it legal. He’s made her his wife, not his mistress and I am relieved that she’s out of here.”

  I felt the sting of her insinuation, even though I knew that Belle hadn’t meant for it to be hurtful. She was a very practical and pragmatic person, and in her mind, I knew that she felt relieved for both Lana and me. Only she didn’t know the whole story about ‘Nick,’ and I’m fairly sure that if she had, it would definitely tilt the scales in a different direction.

  “Well, I wish her the best,” I sighed. “I would like her address though, Belle. This silence between us has gone on long enough. I’m gonna write her a letter and hope that she reads it.”

  “That’s a good idea, sugar. I don’t have a phone number for her yet anyway. Give me a second to find that address.”

  We ended our call after Belle gave me Lana’s address, and I promised her that I would call more often.

  chapter 11

  The next couple of weeks were frantic with getting some of my first designs “patterned.” That meant having someone take my illustrations, and produce patterns for the garment in several sizes.

  Dominic had generously ‘donated’ one of the administrative assistants from their corporate office downtown to assist me, which under the circumstances, I was hard-pressed to refuse. I was swamped with all of the details that go along with setting up a business and getting production running. Sherry Ritaglio was very quiet, but extremely efficient. She was definitely all about the work, and that was fine, but at times I still missed having a girlfriend to share shit with.