The Heart Between Kingdoms

by Mary Dublin

  "I would like that."

  She dared to lean her head down near his, partly because of her headache and partly because she had the opportunity to be closer. He didn't seem to mind in the slightest, hardly taking his eyes off her as he carried her to his horse.

  Perhaps getting a kiss wouldn't be as difficult as she feared.

  Sharp tugs on her sleeve pulled Esmae from a deep slumber full of sweet memories. Daniel was fast asleep on the other side of the bed, facing her with slow, even breaths. The tug came again, and this time, an angel's plea along with it.

  "Mummy, the bad stuff came again."

  Esmae sat up. Olive skin and round blue eyes were lit by the stub of a candle held in a small, shaking hand. Her only daughter was particularly small for her age, and barely crested past the side of the grand bed. In her slightly too-big nightgown, the five-year-old girl looked more likely to be a lovely porcelain doll at first glance.

  Esmae rubbed her eyes and opened her arms, beckoning to the little girl. "Another nightmare?"

  "It was a really bad one."

  Gently, Esmae took the candle from her daughter and extracted herself from the heavy twist of sheets and blankets. Setting the candle on the nightstand table, she scooped Aveline into her lap and hugged her tightly, the best comfort she could offer at this early hour.

  "All the badness is gone now, I promise. I'll walk you back to your bed, Avie. Come on."

  "Can't I sleep with you?"

  Esmae hesitated, glancing at Daniel. If she tried hard enough, she could see exhaustion still written on his face even in sleep. There had been a great many nightmares as of late.

  "Of course, darling." Esmae murmured, kissing Aveline's sweaty temple. "Just try not to disturb your father."

  Aveline didn't even shake the bed as she crawled off Esmae's lap and settled in between her mother and father. It seemed she slept there nearly as often as she did in her own bed. With the bad dreams chasing her to the master bedroom more and more frequently, Esmae worried about when Aveline would feel safe sleeping alone again.

  Despite Aveline's careful efforts to be subtle as she slid herself under the sheets, Daniel stirred and opened his groggy eyes to the candlelight. "Avie?"

  The little girl winced. "Sorry, Daddy," she whispered earnestly. "I tried to be quiet."

  "S'alright, darling," Daniel answered through a yawn, propping himself up on an elbow and ruffling her brown locks. His half-lidded eyes sought Esmae to share a knowing look. "Another nightmare?" he asked Aveline sympathetically.

  She nodded, pouting as she nestled into the bed with the soft sheets pulled up to her chin. "Somebody was trying to get me. I couldn't find you." Little blue eyes peered out at the shadows, as if anything could be waiting to spring out.

  "You found me now, didn't you?" Daniel pointed out, giving her a smile.

  Aveline gave a reluctant nod, still eyeing the darkness with suspicion. Daniel brushed the girl's cheek with the back of his fingers until she looked up at him.

  "Then it was only a dream."

  Esmae couldn't bring herself to extinguish the candle while that fearful look stayed in her daughter's eyes. Leaving the stump to burn itself out in its jeweled bearer, she shifted closer to Aveline in the bed.

  "Healer Joseph said that sometimes dreams can tell the future," Aveline said, almost shy as she looked between them. "What if all the badness in my dreams comes true?"

  "I'm sure he didn't mean it that way," Esmae soothed. "He meant dreams can tell us about ourselves sometimes. Usually, it's just our imaginations running wild while we're trying to rest."

  "That's right," Daniel put in. "You don't plan on getting lost, do you, Avie?"

  Aveline shook her head dutifully. "Never."

  "Then you have nothing to worry about."

  Aveline blinked heavily. She was as tired as they were, most nights as of late. A cold hand tightened on Esmae's heart to see her sweet baby hurting so needlessly. She caught Daniel looking at her with the same worry clouding his face before he bent down and kissed her forehead.

  "Rest now. You're safe," he murmured as he lay down for his second sleep of the night. He shut his eyes, encouraging her to do the same.

  "Can we still keep the candle going?" Aveline asked.

  "Yes," Esmae hushed her with a little laugh, cuddling her close.

  There was a brief pause. Then, "Could we maybe light another candle?"

  "Sleep," Esmae and Daniel said as one.

  In a matter of minutes, Daniel's soft breathing resumed a peaceful rhythm, his left arm draped over their daughter like a shield. Aveline followed after him, snugly tucked between them.

  Esmae lay awake for some time more, wondering and trying not to worry.

  If it weren't for the winter chill, Esmae would have preferred some time the gardens. Perhaps some sunshine would do Aveline some good, but as it was, the weather was aggressively sullen.

  The fireplace crackled cheerily in the study that Esmae and Aveline had all but claimed as their own. It was small, and the floor-to-ceiling windows gave a lovely view of the forest. Staff and guards were not to enter without express permission, either, creating a haven where visiting fairies didn't need to constantly stay out of sight.

  "Let's try this page," Esmae said, holding a small book open in front of Aveline, who was seated on her lap as they shared an armchair in front of the fire.

  "Yes, Mummy." The little girl frowned at the book in concentration, following Esmae's fingertip as she tracked each word. She read slowly, clearly. "The sun was sh-sh... shining! Is that right?"

  "That's right," Esmae confirmed with a grin. "And then?"

  "The dog was sl... sleeping. The cat was sleeping. But the hen saw a f... foh..." Her little face screwed up with hesitation, and she looked to her mother with a pout.

  "You know this one. Madame Farrah says you've gotten better with it." Esmae tapped her finger beneath the word. "What letter is it?"

  "That one's tricky," Aveline said through a yawn, rubbing her eyes. She looked as tired as Esmae felt. Ever since the nightmares began frequenting her slumber, it was as though the energy was being sapped from the little girl day by day.

  Nonetheless, she leaned over the book, determined as she stared hard at the page.

  "Oh! That's a... X! The hen saw a fox!" She beamed at Esmae, practically bouncing with glee.

  "You got it," Esmae said, folding her arms around her daughter to squeeze her gently and elicit a delighted giggle. "Keep going!"

  "But the hen saw a fox. And the fox saw the hen—"

  Her sudden stop took Esmae by surprise, but before she could question it, Aveline perked up and frowned, glancing around the room. As if on cue, a voice came from behind.

  "I don't think I like where this story is going."

  Though Esmae should have been used to it by then, she nearly jumped out of her skin. But Aveline couldn't have been more pleased, twisting around at once to greet the fairy with an eager smile.

  "Uncle Brennan! I knew I felt someone coming!"

  She held out her hands eagerly, giving him a place to land. Although Brennan generally still preferred a desk or mantle over human hands, he made an exception for Aveline. She had owned a part of his heart from the first moment she'd come into the world.

  "Sounds like you'll be reading circles around me in no time," he remarked as his boots touched down on her soft palms.

  "I'm not that good," Aveline said, though she looked pleased at the thought.

  "You're coming along," Brennan insisted. "I reckon you're already cleverer than half the guards around this castle."

  Esmae rolled her eyes but this only encouraged his grin.

  "Be kind," she hushed him with a chuckle.

  Aveline squirmed in her lap, her feet kicking to reach the floor. "Uncle Brennan, I made you a picture!"

  He took to the air before she landed, and shadowed her as she crossed to the desk that sat in the corner. She pulled with all her might on the iron handle of
the bottom left drawer. It was so heavy compared to her that when the drawer came flying loose, Aveline was thrown back on the carpet.

  Esmae braced herself to stand, but to her relief the little princess brushed it off. Avie fished through her collection of recent masterpieces, Brennan hovering over her shoulder.

  "Here, this one!"

  She straightened gleefully and held it up for the fairy to see. In pink and brown pastels, a crude image was scrawled across a sheet of parchment.

  "Look! That one's you, and that's me!"

  Brennan hovered in silence for a moment, taking it in. He didn't give much more than a crooked smile, but Esmae could see the touched glimmer in his dark eyes as he looked over the green and brown blob that was himself.

  "It's beautiful, Princess. And who's that there?"

  Aveline had to study her own work before answering. "Mummy and Daddy. And that's papa up in the corner," she added, tapping a sparkly golden blob that ran off the edge of the page.

  "I daresay they'll be framing your pictures in the grand hall if you're not careful," Brennan said.

  She giggled and shook her head. "You're silly, Uncle Brennan." In the next instant, her smile dropped, and she covered her mouth with the back of her hand to stifle a yawn.

  Brennan hovered closer. Esmae had a feeling he was taking notice of the dark patches under the little girl's eyes. "Are you alright? You look tired."

  "Bad dreams," Aveline answered, rubbing her eyes. "Mummy and Daddy let me sleep with them to make it go away. It was really scary last night."

  "Sorry to hear that, Princess." He looked to Esmae with concern before addressing Aveline again. "I thought they were getting better."

  Esmae stood from the armchair. "We thought so too." She was prepared to go on, but Aveline was looking between her and Brennan curiously, hanging on to every word. Esmae dropped down to Aveline's level and held the small book out to her. "Why don't you practice finishing the page, darling? I'll be there in a moment."

  Aveline took the book and pouted, but before she could protest, Brennan added, "Surely you want to know what happens to the hen?"

  Glancing down at the page, the princess hesitated. "I hope it's not a mean fox," she murmured, heading back to the armchair in front of the fire.

  Once she was buried back in her reading, Esmae stood back up, and Brennan hovered at eye level with her to share a look.

  "I can't stop thinking about it," she admitted softly. "I know nightmares are normal, but they shouldn't be so severe that they make her lose sleep. She looked terrified when she came to me last night."

  "You should let the healers from Evrosea have a look at her," Brennan said, hardly letting a pause hang over the end of Esmae's words. "There must be some sort of glamour they can use to block the nightmares and give her restful sleep."

  Esmae looked away. "I… I would rather not resort to glamour right away."

  "You and I had our fair share of as children. Keeping us from flying too far past Evrosea's edge."

  He grinned roguishly at this. Esmae found it hard not to join him as she recalled how they would sneak out of the crystalline palace to race each other through gigantic, ancient trees. It felt like watching the memories of another person; a dream from another lifetime.

  "Yes, but she's not a fairy," she murmured, glancing over at Aveline worriedly.

  "Maybe not entirely," Brennan admitted. "But enough. She's connected to Evrosea in a way more than any normal human ever could be."

  Esmae found this point difficult to argue, and once again turned so Brennan wasn't hovering stubbornly before her eyes.

  Even before she was born, Aveline had demonstrated a unique sympathy for all fairies. As an infant, she had swayed the emotions of those fairies who guarded her crib at night, making them weak with peacefulness when she was tired, and irate and ill-tempered when she fussed. Esmae hadn't been sure what to make of it, and Daniel had even less to go on than she did.

  As she'd grown and learned to control her emotions, the powerful sway had seemed to lessen, and Esmae's worries eased.

  Then the nightmares had begun.

  Her baby was convinced that something was out to get her. Even after settling down her fears and assuring her she was safe after every incident, it was as though she was freshly convinced with each nightmare that a monster wanted to snatch her away.

  "She hides it well," Brennan insisted after Esmae fell quiet. "But every second I spend in this room, the more I can feel how exhausted she is. Something needs to be done, Esmae."

  She made herself meet his gaze, firm in her resolve. "I'm not saying it's an absolute no to magic. I'm just going to explore other possibilities first. Humans have their own cures and medicine, you know."

  Brennan wrinkled his nose. "You can't be serious."

  "Avie may not be wholly human, but she's mostly human. I don't have a drop of magic left in me beyond being able to spot glamour. We know that humans can only take so much magic. And she's so young…"

  "And human cures are always so effective?" he asked, raising a critical eyebrow.

  "I have to try, at least."

  Brennan gave her a look, and she knew that if he were able, he would put his hand on her shoulder. As it was, his hand would hardly cover her fingertip. So he stayed where he was before her face and conveyed his kindness through his eyes. "Evrosea is always here for you if you change your mind."

  "I know. Thank you."

  Esmae chewed on her lip and gazed across at Aveline, sitting happily before the hearth. She was dutifully running her finger along the page, but her eyes kept drooping as she worked.

  "I'm going out," she announced without warning.

  Brennan gave a small start in the air next to her. "What, now?"

  She nodded. "You should hide, if you plan to stay with her. I'll need to fetch the nursemaid to watch her while I'm gone."

  "Where are you going?"

  "To the markets in the city," she said, smoothing out her long skirts. "The castle staff have done all they can. I can't keep waiting for the answer to fall into my lap."

  Chapter

  Two

  "I don't like this, Yer Majesty."

  "So you've said," Esmae countered lightly, glancing up to smile at Sir Logan as they strode side by side. They were at something of a middle ground with him taking slower steps and her taking longer strides to remain at speed with each other.

  The carriage driver was back waiting at the city gates for them. They couldn't remain discreet whilst roaming the streets via royal transport, so she and Logan made their way on foot, taking to the cobblestone streets to find the least populated paths to the markets. She supposed she couldn't blame the knight for being uneasy. Normally royalty would be accompanied by far more than one guard, but that would not give Esmae the stealth she desired.

  "I won't be long," she assured.

  Sir Logan didn't relent. "Even abandoning you for a short time could cost dearly."

  "You are not abandoning me. You are more than welcome to keep an eye on me, but I'd rather not make it obvious that I'm being watched by an armed knight."

  "There are servants whose very duty is to is to purchase items for the markets," he pointed out, as if he hadn't heard her. "They are perfectly capable."

  "So am I," Esmae said firmly. "I want to know what exactly I'm giving my daughter, sir. There are some things a mother needs to do."

  The knight was silent for a long moment before finally conceding with a sigh. "That poor girl. D'you really suppose you'll find something here to cure what ails her?"

  "There's only one way to find out."

  As they turned a corner, the clustered buildings gave way to the wider space of the markets. In an instant, more people came into view. Esmae made sure her cowl shadowed her face, tugging at the edges of the hood. She couldn't be sure how many people would recognize her on sight, seeing as she wore a simple cloak over her gown, but she didn't want to take any chances.

  Normally she wouldn'
t have been so secretive, but that day she was there for Aveline and Aveline alone.

  "I'll meet you back here," Esmae told Logan.

  He looked like he might argue again, but he gave a begrudging nod and allowed her to walk out from between the buildings on her own.

  It had been some time since she entered the markets, but she knew right away that there weren't as many people as the last time she visited. With Mirrel deep in the cold season, she supposed the people simply came for what they needed and left, rather than staying to wander. Even less would be out and about if it was snowing, but as it was, there were enough people milling about for her to slip amongst and blend in unnoticed.

  The food stalls were sparse, but she maneuvered her way in that direction first, recalling that several vendors were dedicated to herbs. Perhaps one of them would know of some concoction than could be taken before bed to relax the mind.

  Halfway through the square, something odd caught her attention. A caravan standing off to one side had an unusual amount of activity surrounding it. She couldn't see what was going on, but it must have been quite a spectacle to draw a crowd with the frigid weather. Esmae hesitated, curiosity tugging fiercely, but she brushed it off and determinedly focused on what she had come for.

  Clasping her cloak tight under her chin, she ducked under the drooping fold of the herbalist's stall. Braided strands of rosemary and jasmine hung from the rafters of the dilapidated cart, dried and left to dangle in the crisp breeze.

  "What are you looking for?"

  The voice was blunt and ragged, and its owner looked much the same. An old woman occupied the counter on the other side of the display, hacking away at a long root with a dull knife. Her hair might have once been long and silky, but now sat silvered and matted under the hood of her thick shawl.

  "I hope I didn't disturb you." Esmae gave her a kind smile. The old woman looked her over, saying nothing. Esmae was not to be deterred. She stepped closer, running one hand over the stalks of herbs laid out in wicker baskets. "I need a sleep tonic of sorts."