by Rachel Clark
“So are you going to tear her hair out or what?”
Kat giggled as Ryan slid his arm around her from behind. Even the familiar fear of having someone come up behind her had been negated by her jealousy.
“No, I’m not going to be nasty to Jay’s new chef. He’d kill me.”
But it would be nice to remind the woman that Jay was taken. Even if Kat wasn’t actually having sex with him, she was kind of sleeping with him. And he was definitely involved with Ryan. She shivered as memories of watching the two of them together last night paraded through her mind. It had taken her a little while to build up the nerve, but since watching that first time a few months ago she’d been hooked. So far she hadn’t joined in but they always included her in the snuggling afterward.
As it turned out, Kat didn’t get a chance to march over there and be all snarky because Jay and his new chef started to walk toward them. Ryan laughed softly as he felt her bristle with annoyance.
“Kat, Ryan, this is my new chef, Elise.” Jay gave Kat a brilliant smile. “Elise, these are my partners.”
Kat wasn’t sure how the woman interpreted that. She probably thought Ryan meant business partners in the restaurant.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Elise said with genuine warmth in her voice. She glanced up as two men knocked on the glass of the locked front door of the restaurant. She grinned, waved to them, and reached for her bag. “That’s my ride.” She winked at Kat before waving goodnight and heading for the exit. “It’s nice to work somewhere that I don’t have to hide who I really am. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jay leaned over and pressed a kiss to Kat’s lips and then one to Ryan’s, before following Elise to the door and locking it behind her.
“What did she mean by that?” Kat asked as soon as Jay joined them in front of the elevator, not really able to hide her own jealousy. Hell, it had only gotten worse since she’d actually started sleeping with the man.
Jay raised an eyebrow, glanced at Ryan, and then pulled Kat into his arms.
“She meant that it’s nice to not have to hide the fact that she’s kind of ‘married’ to both of the men who picked her up.”
“She’s got two husbands?”
“Yes, Kat. Just like you. Two husbands.”
“Oh.” She’d never really thought of it that way. She’d spent so much of their relationship as a nonsexual partner she hadn’t really considered that what they had between the three of them was a type of marriage. “Maybe I should get around to having sex with you then.”
“There’s no hurry, baby girl,” Ryan said casually. “We’re happy to wait as long as it takes.”
“And if I’m not?” Kat asked.
“If you’re not what?” Jay asked, turning to Ryan as she pulled out of his embrace.
“If I’m not happy to wait any longer?”
“Kat, we love you. There’s no need to rush. We’ll still be here for you when you’re ready.”
“And if I think I’m ready now?”
“If you only ‘think’ it, baby girl, then we can wait until you ‘know’ for sure.”
She let out an exasperated sound. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been thinking about this for the last few months or anything. Yes, she was scared. Yes, she wasn’t certain how she was going to react. And yes, she had no idea how a decision like this would affect them all long term. But she was sure that these two men would help her through it.
“Ry,” she said, stepping back into his embrace, “I want to try. I’m tired of only half living. I want to claim back the rest of my life.”
Ryan looked at Jay before nodding slowly and then pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
“We’ll try, but you have to promise to be completely honest. If something scares you, we need to know straight away. The idea is to get past this fear, not make it worse.”
She nodded and breathed in deeply, determined to fight her way through the nightmares that still plagued her, to reclaim another part of her life that was stolen by the violent act of a pathetic asshole.
* * * *
Five minutes later, Jay was shivering with fear himself. Hell, he wanted nothing more than to make love to the woman snuggled between them, but Ryan was right. They wanted Kat to be whole and healthy. They didn’t want to make things worse.
It had taken a month of sleeping in their bed before she’d been comfortable enough to sometimes sleep in the middle, and it had taken even longer to get her out of the neck-to-ankle pajamas.
But right now Jay and Ryan both lay above the covers, on their backs, not moving, just waiting for Kat to take the lead, to tell them how she wanted to handle this momentous step forward. After a few moments of tense silence, Ryan’s deep laugh filled the room.
“Sorry, baby girl,” he said, rolling onto his side and touching her cheek gently. “Jay and I are acting like a couple of virgins on prom night.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Not your fault,” Jay said, following Ryan’s lead and trying to relax. “For many years now I’ve dreamed about making love to you. But…” He let his words trail away, not entirely certain he should tell her the rest. They’d asked for her to be honest with them, but was it fair to be so brutally honest with her?
“But not since the attack,” she finished for him. “It’s okay. After what happened I wouldn’t want to imagine sex with me either.”
He shook his head vigorously, a little bit appalled by the way she’d interpreted what he’d been trying to say.
“Kat, no. Honey, that isn’t what I meant. I’ve spent the last few months imagining all sorts of things I want to share with you, how I want to love you, the type of things I want the three of us to share.”
“Like what?” she asked, perhaps a tad suspiciously.
“Like the fact that I want to bury my cock so deep inside you that neither of us will know where one ends and the other begins.” He moved over to press a quick, soft kiss to her lips. “I’ve imagined me and Ryan both making love to you at the same time, of you letting me fuck you while Ryan fucks me.” A shiver ran through him even as the images he’d built up in mind played over and over. “Of watching you and Ryan make love to each other.”
“Baby girl,” Ryan said reaching over to lift her so that she lay sprawled across his chest, “the only thing we haven’t been able to imagine is what will happen this first time. We love you and don’t want to scare you, but we most definitely want you. Never doubt that.”
Kat nodded and hid her face against Ryan’s neck. Jay wasn’t certain, but he thought she might have been crying, so he ran a hand gently up and down her spine, caressing her soft skin through her silky nightgown. It had been a very thoughtful gift from Ryan, a way to remind Kat that she was a sexy, beautiful woman.
Ryan moved his hand to cup the back of Kat’s neck, very gently massaging the tight muscles and the base of her skull. “Anything you want, baby girl. Take what you need.”
“I need to be able to see…to know…” She swallowed heavily. “I can still remember…h–his eyes, the hatred, th–the anger.”
“It’s okay, Kat,” Ryan said as Jay rolled over to turn the bedroom lights on. “We’re both here, and we love you, and we’ll never be angry. Not here, not in our bed, not with you.”
She half laughed, half sobbed, and Jay smiled at her honest reaction. Kat was at least self-aware enough to know she wasn’t a saint. They would likely have their differences over the years, but their disagreements would never bring the sort of anger she’d experienced into their life together.
Ryan grinned, perhaps interpreting Kat’s reaction the same way.
“Kiss me, Kat,” he suggested quietly. She nodded, leaned forward, and pressed her lips to Ryan’s. He let her control the kiss, his hands caressing over her gently but never in a way that might make her feel trapped. Jay felt a lump of emotion lodge firmly in his throat as he watched the incredibly passionate man he loved very carefully help Kat take that tentative first step back to cla
iming her sexuality.
Jay was also careful to stay where she could see him. Kat was getting better, and they were working to help her through it, but she still reacted fearfully when someone came at her from behind. He’d noticed her lack of reaction in the restaurant earlier, and had been very pleased by it, but he knew that in bed her reaction would very likely be different again.
Some of the things that monster had done to her… He shut that thought down, unwilling to even consider letting that ugliness reach them here. They were three people in love. Three people working their way through the complications to build a very satisfying relationship.
Ryan groaned softly as Kat wriggled against him, her nightgown riding higher so that she could spread her knees to rest either side of Ryan’s hips. Jay knew their lover would already be pulsing pre-cum from the tip of his cock, so when Kat wriggled lower, her soft, wet pussy rubbing against Ryan’s hard shaft, all three of them groaned.
Kat began to kiss Ryan more wildly, her hands threading into his short hair as she held him close and kissed him like the world was coming to an end.
“I need…” she said on a gasping breath. “I need you in me.”
Ryan turned to Jay, his gaze beseeching, his dilemma quite obvious. Kat wasn’t on contraception, so they needed to use condoms, but moving to do that might change the atmosphere. At the moment Kat was in charge, and it was a good idea to keep it that way, at least this time.
Jay rolled over, dragged open the bedside drawer, and fumbled for a condom. Ryan nodded eagerly and encouraged Kat to wriggle a little higher up his chest to give Jay some room. Moving slowly, making certain that Kat knew his intentions, Jay carefully leaned over and rolled the condom onto Ryan’s thick cock.
Ryan moaned softly, his mouth against Kat’s as she kissed him over and over. Blindly she reached for Jay, snagging his hand in a tight grip as she slid lower. Ryan’s erection was rock hard. It took a little bit of maneuvering, but she managed to press the lips of her pussy against the head of his cock and then slowly took Ryan inside her body.
* * * *
Ryan caressed Kat as she carefully lowered herself onto his erection. She whimpered, trying to force him deeper as her muscles clamped down, almost pushing his cock from her body.
“It’s okay,” Jay said in a soothing voice, his hands roaming over Kat and Ryan offering reassurance and comfort to them both. “We’ve got all the time we want, Kat. No need to hurry. Just relax, sweetheart.”
Kat fought the sensation for a moment, her mind and body obviously at war over what she wanted. Ryan tried not to yelp as her vaginal muscles clamped down on him so hard he saw stars. He had to fight the natural urge to pull away. He’d known this was a possibility and something they might need to face, but the wrong reaction now could set them back months, maybe years in Kat’s recovery. He held still, panting softly, and tried to stay calm.
“I’m sorry,” Kat whispered as she tried to move away. Fuck. He wasn’t certain how to react. Holding her to him could be just as bad as pulling away.
“No, Kat. Stay,” Jay said in that same soothing tone. “I promise you things are about to get much better.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, obviously trusting Jay to follow through on his words. Very carefully he slid his hand between them, the back of his fingers caressing over Ryan’s pubic bone as he gently rubbed over Kat’s swollen clitoris. It was obvious she was aroused. She just needed to relax.
Thankfully, Jay moved so that he was half lying in Ryan’s embrace and close enough to kiss Kat and distract her from the pain Ryan was feeling. Kat’s muscles pulled even tighter as her orgasm neared. Fuck, Ryan was panting with her as the first gentle swell of climax pulsed through her pussy, the muscles squeezing and releasing as she moaned into Jay’s mouth.
With a soft sigh, Jay moved his hand away as Kat relaxed, still sprawled over Ryan’s chest. She seemed almost surprised that she could slide lower and take Ryan deeper into her pussy. They groaned in unison as he filled her completely.
“Wow,” she said softly as she leaned up to stare into Ryan’s eyes. “Have I told you how much I love you today?”
It was two in the morning. “Probably not,” he said with a grin, glad to see that she was thinking clearly and wasn’t frightened or in pain. “I love you, too, baby girl.” And then because she gave him such a brilliant and happy smiled he added, “Please fuck me.”
“Yes, dear,” she said in the sort of tone one would expect from a couple married for fifty years. He laughed softly but quickly shut up when she started to move. He tried to control himself, tried not to lift up his hips to meet her halfway, but she completely destroyed him when she leaned over, pushed her tongue into his mouth, and groaned with pleasure. Ryan was vaguely aware of Jay’s hand between them once more, but even that didn’t prepare him for Kat’s amazing orgasm. She shook all over, her soft, happy moans shaking him to the core even as she milked him of his seed. He lifted up, pushing his cock harder into her several more times as his own climax went on and on.
Fuck.
Their woman was completely incredible.
* * * *
Kat could feel the tears streaming down her face, but it wasn’t from fear or regret or anguish or any of the other emotions she’d expected to be feeling right now. No, the tears were relief that she’d given herself this chance, that she’d taken on the challenge of overcoming the thing she’d feared the most, her reaction one of triumph, not of despair.
Jay, bless him, understood exactly what she was feeling. He grinned, leaned over to press a kiss to her wet cheek and touched her face lovingly.
“I love you, Kat,” he said as she continued to cry softly. He leaned over and carefully lifted her off Ryan who rolled off the bed and moved to the bathroom. She gave Jay a concerned look, but he just smiled reassuringly. “He’ll be back as soon as he takes care of the condom.”
She blushed furiously. She hadn’t given a thought to contraception. Hell, she hadn’t really thought past the part where she got naked with her men. But just like it had been the day she’d left the hospital seven months ago, facing her fear had turned out to be less frightening than thinking about facing her fear.
Ryan came back into the room, moving slowly as he climbed back onto the bed. He smiled slightly as he reached over to wipe the tears from her face, his concern for her very obvious.
“You okay, baby girl?”
“Never better,” she answered honestly. She wasn’t naïve enough to think this would be the end of her problems, but she’d taken a major step forward today and at the moment, despite the tears, she felt like she could fly. She turned to Jay, the man she’d loved for more than a decade. “Can you make love to me, please?”
“Of course,” he said, smiling when Ryan lay down beside them, his presence very comforting. He grinned happily as he moved his hands to caress them both gently. Jay went to lift Kat over his body but she pulled him toward her instead.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, sweetheart.” She gave him a smile that she hoped didn’t look as worried as she felt. She knew what his concern was, hell she fucking shared it, but she’d dreamed of being under him, caged between his strong arms so many times that she wanted to live it. She knew she might panic, but she was damn determined not to let the actions of one worthless monster steal something she’d wanted for so very long.
“Please,” she asked quietly.
“Okay,” Jay said, nodding even as he glanced at Ryan worriedly.
“I’ll be right here, babe,” Ryan said, offering comfort first to Jay before turning his attention to her. “And Kat has promised to be honest in her reactions. If she gets too frightened she’ll tell us. Won’t you, baby girl?”
She nodded vigorously, not certain she could keep the nerves from her voice. She would tell them if she was about to panic, but surely a little bit of fear was normal under the circumstances. The way he’d phrased his reassurance it seemed Ryan understood that, bu
t even when she slept between them she’d never felt trapped. This would be no different. She trusted them both to keep her safe.
The giggle escaped before she could call it back. Neither man smiled in response, perhaps realizing that her humor wasn’t quite appropriate.
“Kat?” Jay asked, moving slightly away from her but thankfully not going very far. Ryan stayed where he was, his arm bent at the elbow as he lay on his side and held his head up to watch them. His fingers gently roamed over her stomach and breasts, but his concern was as clear as Jay’s.
She shrugged, trying to make light of her unexpected reaction. “I was just thinking how ridiculous it is that I’m afraid of the missionary position.”
Jay smiled as he touched her face. “Hopefully after tonight you won’t need to be afraid of it anymore. We’ll replace those memories, sweetheart, with far happier ones.”
She nodded, her eyes filming with tears at his obvious support, but her thoughts were quickly sidetracked when she felt Ryan’s hand glide lower, his fingers running over her clit again and again as Jay joined him, his fingers sliding into her pussy.
Kat moaned softly, her eyes closing involuntarily as sweet arousal swirled through her. She felt Jay move, the bed dipping slightly as he used his feet to open her legs wider before settling between them.
“Open your eyes, Kat.”
She quickly did as she was told, not because she was frightened, but because she could hear the worry in Jay’s voice. She stared into his eyes, suddenly shy as the moment she’d dreamed of for many years finally became reality. “I love you, Jay,” she whispered as Ryan grinned and then reached over and rolled a condom onto Jay’s cock.
And suddenly the fear was gone, almost as if it had never been. This was Jay. The man she’d loved her entire life. She lifted her hips up, eagerly seeking his cock, wanting to be joined intimately with him.
She heard his exhalation of relief as he carefully lowered himself over her and pressed his cock to her entrance. Kat moaned in delight, her body opening to him easily, her need to make love to this man overwhelming.