Rotten to the Core

by Casey Kelleher

  “Paul this, Paul that, anyone would think you’d been screwing the fucking bloke,” Jay said, his joking tone not hiding the spite behind it.

  “Don’t be silly, Jay, Paul’s a lovely man, but it’s nothing like that. I’m with you, I wouldn’t even look at another man, babes.” She was hurt that he would even think like that: what did he take her for?

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t stop them from looking at you, though, does it?” He looked at her accusingly. “A club is no place for someone like you, Kate; I should know, I worked there too, you know. All those leering drunks trying it on, seeing if they’re in with a chance….” He did know; he had been one of them.

  “It’s not like that, though, Jay, really; I go in, do my job, and then come home.”

  “Yeah, well, that Paul better not try his luck with you, or he’ll have me to deal with, and he better not be taking the piss out of you either, making you work all hours.”

  “Paul’s not like that; he’s very professional, and he thinks I’m a great worker. Not all men perv, you know!”

  Angrily, Kate began clearing the table, her appetite gone. Why couldn’t her boyfriend just be happy for her: she was doing a job she enjoyed and he wasn’t interested in the slightest, all he seemed to care about was his bloody ego: typical. Turning her back on him, she began to wash up the plates, splashing water all over the place and clanging the cups; she knew her stropping about the place was petty, but she was so angry. Jay noticed her mood change, and rolled his eyes, he was glad he was going out as he couldn’t be arsed with Kate’s tantrums. He had better things to do.

  Sitting in his car, Billy tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. He felt sick, not in a gut-churning jealous way, which had initially surprised him. He had assumed that would be how he would feel; he had always thought if Tanya ever thought about cheating on him, he would kill her and whoever the bloke with a death wish that was cheating with her was. Billy hadn’t expected to feel like this, it was a different kind of feeling, more of a realisation. He had now come to the conclusion that he didn’t give a toss about her anymore, they had just been ‘going through the motions’, he realised.

  Billy had been outside Tanya’s flat for over forty minutes; he was supposed to be sorting out some business at the warehouse, but had nipped back to get some paperwork he needed just in time to see Jay going into the flat. No need to be Albert Einstein to work out what was going on. He waited and tried to get his head together.

  He could have gone in and caused merry hell, but something made him wait. God knows how he had managed to sit so calmly for so long, all the while guessing what was going on behind the curtains in the bedroom. Tanya must be crazy if she thought she could do this to him, he had paid for the roof over her head, given her everything she wanted and this was her repayment, and with that skank of all people.

  Thinking back to the night he had walked in on Jay in their bedroom, his intuition had told him something was up, Jay had looked shifty – but then, thought Billy, when didn’t he? He wondered if it had started then or if it had been going on for longer. How had he not noticed before?

  Tanya was easily sorted. Billy frowned: Jay was another matter. First his sister, now his missus; Jay was proving to be a fucking piss-taker. If this got out, Billy would look like a mug, and his poor sister’s heart would be broken, God knows why, but she loved Jay, and after everything that happened with her losing the baby, she didn’t need any more problems.

  Jay didn’t give a shit about Kate. Realising this, Billy could feel his blood boiling, he was fucking raging, but he knew that he would deal with it once and for all. He was no-one’s mug. He was done with Tanya, and it was the excuse he had been looking for, if he was honest.

  Jay, on the other hand, deserved something a bit special, he needed to be shown the error of his ways. Billy had kept the peace for his sister, but now he would do what he should have done in the first place. Kate might not thank him for it, but he would be doing her a bigger favour than she would ever know, he thought. Picking up his mobile, he couldn’t believe it when he heard Tanya’s voice.

  “Alright, Tan, you sound out of breath? Didn’t make you run for the phone, did I?”

  “Oh hi, Billy; yeah, you did, actually, I was… downstairs, sorting out the kitchen, I must have left the phone upstairs… had to leg it up here.”

  Billy could picture Jay, looking like the smug slimy bastard he was, lying next to Tanya as she lied out of her skinny arse; Billy betted he loved every minute of this.

  “Oh well, best you run back downstairs and put the kettle on then, Tan, ‘cause I’m going to be home in five.”

  “Oh… okay, babe; see you in five.”

  Billy hung up. He had noted the panic in Tanya’s voice that she had tried to hide and could imagine the pair of them were running about like headless chickens, trying to get dressed so Jay could leave before Billy got home and found out about their dirty little secret. Two minutes later a very worried-looking Jay left the flat, looking as if someone had just shoved a rocket up his arse.

  As Jay drove off, Billy started his own engine, and picking up his phone once more rang Tanya.

  “Change of plan, Tan, I’ve got a bit of business to attend to, looks like you’ll just be making tea for one.”

  Not waiting for her reply, Billy hung up. Tanya looked at the dead handset wondering what the hell that was all about.

  Although Tanya was relieved that Jay hadn’t been caught, she was a little bit put out that they had been rudely interrupted, especially as she had been almost at the point of no return when Billy had called her. Smiling to herself as she put the phone down on the side she was blissfully unaware that Billy was on to her and at that particular moment was following Jay’s beamer down the road.

  Billy had decided that he would tail Jay for a bit, check out what the guy was up to; he wanted to get all the pieces in place before making his move.

  27

  Looking around, Paul was pleased to see that again they were in for a busy night. The club was packed and he had heard from a few little birdies that Goldie’s was becoming more and more well-known, and because of the great DJ line-ups that they put on, people were coming from all over. There were a lot of celebrity faces about most weekends, which of course was great for business, in one way, but in the beginning had been hard work, Paul had had to extend his security and hired a PR girl. It had been manic trying to calm down punter’s reactions to certain celebs. He wanted them to have a great night out, not to be pestered by mad drunken fans. Kate had suggested cordoning off an area for VIPs near the DJ box, and that had proved a success. Paul hadn’t originally thought about a VIP area as such, he had figured at first that the private members’ lounge upstairs would be enough. But this way, people could hear the latest tunes whilst checking out celebs from afar, which suited everyone. He had decided that because it was Kate’s idea and because she was proving to be an asset, that she would be in charge of the VIP bar, it would be her baby. He had pretty much let her set it up and run it however she wished, although he had made sure that she had another member of staff with her at all times to ensure the quickest service. Paul continued to run the members’ lounge upstairs; it made sense, as Paul could keep all the big wigs happy and keep an eye on the entire club as the security room was up there too; he often checked out the monitors to make sure everyone was happy and doing their jobs. The rest of the staff ran the other main bars, and everyone seemed to be happy, and it was just the way Paul liked it: smooth and controlled.

  He spotted Billy pulling up a stool at the bar and decided to go and join him; he could do with a drink and five minutes off.

  “It’s on the house, and I’ll have a Jack and Coke,” Paul interrupted, as he caught the end of Billy’s drinks order to the bartender.

  “Cheers Paul, nice one; thought you didn’t drink while you were working, though?” Billy smiled.

  “Well, that was the original plan, but every now and then won’t hurt, huh?�
� Paul could see all was not well with Billy; the bloke had worry etched on his forehead.

  “How’s my little sister doing?” Billy tried to make conversation to take his mind off the shitty day he had had. Following Jay seemed to have opened up a whole can of worms, Billy had seen a few things today, and to say he was annoyed was a massive understatement; he didn’t know how to play things, the rules had all changed today.

  “Kate’s a little diamond, Billy; she has the punters eating out of her hands.”

  Billy smiled, nodding in agreement. Kate had a way of being liked by everyone, he just hoped that no-one took that the wrong way and overstepped the mark.

  “She’s no pushover though; she can shoot a man down with a stare if he crosses the line you know.” Laughing now, Paul said, “I should know, I’ve had the pleasure of watching the poor wounded guys’ faces that have been on the receiving end.” As if he had read Billy’s mind, he continued. “She won’t get any trouble in here, Billy, I’ll personally make sure of it mate, besides she is actually a lot stronger-minded than she looks.”

  Paul looked over to the bar where Kate was working; he could see her smiling and chatting away to Lucy, the other barmaid on duty. They were both laughing and joking as they poured drinks; being careful to include the punters in their banter, they had everyone smiling. Turning back, he asked,

  “So how are things with you, Billy? You look like you have the weight of the world on those shoulders of yours, everything okay?”

  He nodded to the barman to top up their glasses, as Billy sighed; he did have the weight of the world on his shoulders. He had been following Jay for a few more days now and had been to more hovels than the average rat; the guy had fingers in many pies, each and every one of them as cheap and nasty as the next. Billy had just seen him go into Kate’s friend’s Emma’s flat; God knew what the guy was playing at. He had decided he would lie low here for a bit and then go back and pay Emma a little visit when Jay had gone, see what the girl was playing at.

  “Nothing that can’t be sorted out,” Billy replied; he had every intention of doing so later on.

  “Anything I can help with?” Paul was intrigued.

  “Nah, this is something that I should have settled a long time ago… something long overdue, besides, I think you’ve already had a bash at “it”, so to speak, a while back.”

  Suddenly realising who Billy was hinting at, Paul could instantly feel his hackles rise; he felt his body tensing just at the thought of Jay’s name. He could handle that the guy had taken the piss and used the club to deal his crap from; it went on, it wasn’t such a huge deal, Jay had been given a hiding: job done. But more and more, as Paul had got to know Kate, he had grown more and more to physically hate Jay. Kate never said anything outright about Jay’s behaviour, or not the bad side of it, but he could sense that the whole thing just wasn’t right. Jay wasn’t capable of seeing how amazing Kate was, he certainly wouldn’t be capable of doing right by her. By the sounds of it, Kate knew he was generally up to no good, but she couldn’t have the slightest inkling of what he was actually up to, or there would be no way she would be with him: he was sure of that. Paul had decided when she had first mentioned being Jay’s girlfriend that he would keep quiet about what he knew. He would let Kate work it out in her own time; he had hoped that would be sooner rather than later.

  “I’m sure that whatever needs doing, Billy, you’re more than capable of sorting it out, but if you need me, you just say the word,” Paul said.

  “Cheers mate.” Downing his drink, Billy gave Kate a nod and indicated that he was going upstairs; he had just come to see her, but she was busy, and he hadn’t wanted her to feel like he was keeping tabs on her.

  “See you later, mate, cheers for the drink.”

  Billy made his way to the gentlemen’s lounge. Paul watched as he walked upstairs, he was a big bloke, as broad as he was tall. He felt that he had witnessed the calm before the storm. Billy was never a man of many words, but Paul could tell that he was troubled. He liked Billy, he always had. Since Kate had started working for him, she had done nothing but sing Billy’s praises, the only negative thing she had ever hinted at about Billy was that he was very over-protective but that she knew he had her best interests at heart. Paul couldn’t help wondering about that, though, how could Billy stand back and watch his sister be with such a lowlife? He imagined that it must take a lot for him to remain calm and controlled. It just didn’t make sense, surely he wasn’t happy about the relationship. Paul had heard that Billy had even let Jay have a small hand in his business dealings. Maybe it wasn’t as simple as that, though, he knew the theory behind the old saying “keep your friends close…” and all that. Something was definitely up, he was convinced that it involved Jay, and if he was right he had no pity for Jay, the guy had a lot coming to him. Paul could see there was something unhinged in Billy, something in his eyes, he was not a man to be crossed.

  28

  She pulled the thick blue rope up and reached up on her toes to make it tie around the light fitting on the ceiling; it was a big wrought-iron light fitting so it had seemed strong enough. She had already made a big loop on one end of the rope. She had only ever seen this sort of thing in films, and had up until now thought that attempting suicide was done by somebody using it as a pathetic cry for help, to gain attention. Well, that wasn’t an option for her anymore, she had no-one who could help her and attention was the last thing she needed, she had had enough attention to last a lifetime: all of the wrong kind.

  She stood on a chair and pulled down hard on the rope, she could feel a rope burn on her right palm as she tugged tightly and knew it was strong enough to hold her.

  She looked at the brown wooden chair she was standing on, at her pale, grubby feet, her scuffed toenail-varnish; her feet were as neglected as the rest of her. She didn’t care about herself anymore, she had let herself go. She wasn’t sure whether she should have written a note, but looking over at the dining room table she was glad she had now. There were two envelopes, one addressed to her parents, letting them know that it wasn’t their fault and that she loved them and was sorry. Her mum would be devastated, but she wasn’t sure if she would be more upset that the illusion of her successful daughter was shattered more than finding out the truth of what her daughter had actually become. Her dad would be disgusted and very disappointed, he had bought and paid for her to have the best throughout her childhood and he would not have understood how she had come to this at all. They lived in another world, most of the time, they had bridge afternoons and dinner parties; they had no idea of how everyone else lived, struggling to get by and doing whatever was needed to pay the bills. There was a time that she had been tempted to call and tell them everything, sure deep down that they would help her and take her away from it all. Something had stopped her, though: a combination of shame and fear, as over the months she had sunk lower and lower. Even the punters knew it. She was a mess, a down-and-out, there to be used and abused, and for practically pennies now as she was so far out of it these days she would just mainly lay there in her own little dream world, hardly even acknowledging whoever was grinding and panting away on top of her.

  The other envelope was addressed to Kate, apologising for everything, confessing about what she had done behind her friend’s back with Jay and how he had got her hooked on drugs and prostitution. She had cried when she had written it. She had thought about how upset her friend would be once she heard she was dead and felt even guiltier for the pain she would cause. She thought about all the memories of them growing up together, the laughs and the mad nights out clubbing. Kate had been the only person that had ever really cared for her, and she was beside herself at how she could have treated her like she had, she could not forgive herself for that.

  Next to the envelopes was her empty bag of gear. She had summoned every bit of strength not to take anything this morning, to remain clear-headed while she sorted out the last few things she had to do, which had been so ha
rd; she didn’t normally have to deal with her feelings and writing the letters had brought them all out; she had had to be strong and find the right words, she wanted to do that much at least, she felt that she owed them that.

  She had waited until Jay had paid her his nightly visit to collect his money and had sniffed the gear as soon as he had left. She knew now that it was a form of heroin that Jay had been supplying her with, she had loads of it from punters too, not China White like Jay had got her hooked on, just normal street stuff. She had realised she was a druggie the first time she had stuck a needle in one of her veins to take it; until then, even though she used drugs several times a day, she had convinced herself that she wasn’t an addict, that she had it under control. But she didn’t, she knew that now: she was a druggie, and a whore, and worse than that, she was trapped, and she didn’t want to be where she was anymore. She didn’t want some dirty unwashed man forcing himself into her, while she laid on the bed with her legs splayed open, or to be strangled or used as a punch bag as some of the dirty fuckers liked, she hated being used and feeling filthy when they had taken from her what they wanted, fed up of waking up in the morning and thinking about gear, craving it so much that it physically pained her. More than anything else, she was sick and tired of feeling alone. Loneliness washed over her every second of every day.

  She didn’t want to be alone anymore. Placing her head in the noose and feeling a tear roll down her cheek, she kicked the chair. The rope tightened around her neck and she struggled for breath; she writhed around kicking her legs in the air then finally she gave in to unconsciousness.