by David Pugh
I’ve spent the last two years in a different world, not imaginary worlds of science fiction but the real world. I’ve met so many people and learned so much from them and fallen in love many times, but your mother was the love of my life, I feel I need to lift the veil of death and see her face once more to say goodbye. I’m here in Puri learning about the thin wall that exists between this dimension and the next. Remember those nights we talked about all the moments of our lives still going on somewhere in the universe, discussing whether it was possible to revisit ourselves through the use of meditation and psychoactive drugs. I don’t think we can change the past or the future but I now do believe that when someone dies, a gateway is briefly opened. I want to go back to that moment your mother left this world, confirm the day and time as closely as you can, I know the place well enough. I learnt a lot about Tibetan astrology in Dharamsala, how knowing the exact time of one’s birth can show the road your soul must walk; if these guys are really good, they can tell you exactly when you will die. It will take me years of study but I know I can briefly catch your mother’s soul as it leaves her body and fly alongside her, just long enough to tell her I loved her and say that goodbye.
I love you and your sister so much, I’m feeling guilty to be walking the way of Vanaprastha, but I believe that eventually I’ll be a better person. Good luck with the Jungle Stays project, I don’t imagine I’ll be back in The Gambia for a while, at least in my corporeal body.
Jay Jagannath!
DAD"
Reply from Edgar:
“Dad, when Mum died Molefi pointed out a vulture that he said had come for Mum’s soul. It circled her body and was briefly joined by another bird! Maybe?”
Chapter 71: The Greater Song of Suliman–Part Two
Remus crept upstairs to his shared bedroom with Om Pekesh, ‘We have to go Jaganut beach temple now!’ he insisted.
‘You mean Jagannath,’ Om corrected him, ‘fine but you could get into the main temple looking the way you do, why go to the beach temple, it’s for tourists?’
‘My friend Jeffrey there,’ Remus answered.
‘The man whose wife you were fucking?’ Om raised his very bushy eyebrows and tugged his moustache, ‘Do you think he’ll be pleased to see you?’
‘He my brother and I love Sylvia,’ Remus said.
The temple was quite close to the Shanti Hotel, a crowd of men were gathered there.
‘Big puja?’ Remus was acquiring an extensive Hindi vocabulary.
‘I’ll find out,’ Om approached one of the more intelligent-looking men; they were all dressed in white shirts and black trousers, very formal.
‘It’s a meeting of the Beach Photographers Union,’ Om told him, ‘they are electing new officials; Indians love to have titles.’
Om continued, ‘They all know the old white Baba, he’ll be here about 12.30pm, he eats with the priest.’
They took a walk towards the fishing village; Remus thought it was very like The Gambia but much dirtier. Remus was dressed in an orange lungi, and Om sported a bright yellow polo shirt. A young man approached them.
‘You are new here, are you on holiday?’ he asked.
‘Can’t you see that my friend here is a holy man?’ Om said in Hindi with a note of outrage in his voice.
The young man continued in English, ‘Holy men come to Puri all the time, mostly looking for young boys to fuck.’
Remus said, ‘I like girls!’
‘How young, ten, eleven?’ the young man replied, ‘The fisher people will sell you their daughter for 500 rupees.’
‘I mean womanses, maybe forty,’ Remus wasn’t offended to be taken for a paedophile, ‘I like Puri women, they have many pussy, how many pussy your womanses have?’
Clearly confused, the young man wandered off, Om Pekesh didn’t question him on his remark.
At 12.30pm they returned to the Jagannath Beach Temple, a man of mature years dressed in white jodhpurs and white Punjabi shirt sat in the shade on a red plastic chair.
‘Hello Remus, I heard you were in India looking for me,’ Jeffrey greeted him, ‘well, you have found me.’
Remus ran to his old friend, lifted him out of his chair and hugged him. Jeffrey wasn’t very responsive, and Remus looked downcast.
‘When was the last time you heard from your friend and brother Bob Jatta, Remus?’ Jeffrey inquired.
‘Not heard long time, maybe year now, don’t know,’ Remus had a feeling something bad had happened.
Jeffrey took his hand and led Remus into the temple’s inner sanctum.
‘I don’t think you have met Lord Jagannath, his brother Balabhadra and sister Subhadra, have you?’ he introduced all three in turn.
‘They African!’ Remus said in astonishment.
‘That’s what I thought when I first met them, a common link in the evolution of humanity and religion.’
Jeffrey turned to Om Pekesh, ‘You’re not coming in, sir?’
‘No need, they are just a local cult,’ Om was looking smug, ‘most Indians do not like Jagannath or his brother and sister as they supposedly represent the three races of mankind, black, yellow and white.’
Om continued, ‘For Indians to accept this cult would mean that they were black but look at me, I am north Indian and very pale.’
‘You not white!’ Remus looked Om up and down.
‘Sylvia Japanese but not yellow, never met yellow womanses,’ looking at Jeffrey he asked, ‘how Sylvia, I miss her lot?’
‘I miss her too, Remus,’ there were tears in Jeffrey’s eyes, a sense of dread took hold of his Gambian friend, ‘Remus, she is dead, thanks to that evil man you brought into our lives.’
Remus reeled, started shaking, let out a huge wail and fell to his knees before the yellow murti of Subhadra.
‘Jeffrey…so sorry, I go back Gambia, kill Bob…know now he bad man…very bad man!’ Remus gulped the words struggling for breath.
‘No need, Remus, your brother is dead too,’ Jeffrey’s face showed no emotion, ‘I can’t help but blame you for introducing us to him that night in Marie’s Bar.’
‘Not my fault, I not know him, he not really my brother,’ Remus sobbed, ‘I know truth now.’
‘Too late, Remus,’ Jeffrey put a hand on his shoulder, ‘everything has changed.’
Remus broke down completely, a sobbing wreck, wailing in loud grief, ‘So, so, so sorry, I am bad, bad, bad man!’
The young priest Papu stepped into the sanctum, Jeffrey nodded to him and then to Remus.
Papu addressed the Gambian in English, ‘Look at Lord Jagannath, he brought you here, he is your god.’
Remus looked into the round eyes and at the big smile of the man-sized wooden idol. Papu put a hand on his forehead, sounded a ritual incantation and pushed Remus’ head back. Om Pekesh was amazed by what happened next, the Gambian seemed to have been electrocuted, his dreadlocks standing on end. Remus felt as if he had made a leap into an unknown universe, smashing through a stained glass window, like the ones he had seen in Gambian Christian churches. The shards of glass swarmed around him and turned into stars, which took off into hyper-drive; Remus was a fan of the first Star Wars movie, so that’s how he described it to me. The stars then reversed direction, turned back into glass and ripped through his body, leaving him back on his knees before the smiling face of Jagannath.
He addressed Papu, ‘How you do that?’
‘I didn’t,’ the young priest replied, ‘Lord Jagannath did.’
‘Remus, Papu is like the cable that carries electricity, he is not the electricity itself,’ Jeffrey tentatively touched his shoulder, in case he might get a shock from his African skin.
Om Pekesh was a natural sceptic, but this scene had impressed him, he turned to the young priest and introduced himself.
‘Young man, I have travelled a lot, all around India, but I have rarely seen something as powerful as that, you have a gift.’
Papu replied that he believed he had been chosen for this work
as a young boy and had not gone into business as his father had wished but chose to take the spiritual path. He told the older man that he sometimes regretted the decision, as his wife would prefer being married to a wealthier man.
‘I can fix that,’ Mr Pekesh smiled, ‘I think we can put a show on the road that could make us all rich!’
Chapter 72: The Blackheart Man
Remus was inconsolable despite the young priest’s magic; he was full of guilt and grief, unable to communicate for the rest of the day. Papu intervened, touched Remus’ forehead and he fell asleep. He woke at dawn the next morning; he was on a mat on the temple floor; Jeffrey was sitting next to him, it looked as if he had been meditating.
‘It was wrong of me to blame you for Sylvia’s death,’ he spoke calmly, ‘Life sometimes seems like a roll of the dice, one has to learn how to weigh the dice in your favour.’
Remus didn’t understand him, ‘I to blame, Jeffrey, Bob was evil, work with Devil!’
‘Someone recently told me that the Devil does not exist,’ Jeffrey was serious, ‘I’ve doubted the person who told me that before but now I understand him. Bob was a devil, he had no real human feeling, except for that wicked mother of his; they were two of a kind.’
‘I’ve been talking with Om Pekesh, I don’t know quite what to make of him but he is very astute,’ Jeffrey continued.
‘Although Sylvia was only half Japanese, she looked very much a Japanese woman and her outlook matched the country of her birth. She could easily have represented the yellow races of the world, she was our Subhadra. It’s strange that you and I have been brought to this place, just like our Jesus was brought here. He found his name Kristna here, I have been told that I am now the earthly representative of Balabhadra and you my brother are Jagannath.’
‘I like Jagannath, he African like me,’ Remus attempted a smile.
‘Unfortunately, most Indians think that too, as Mr Pekesh said, they don’t consider themselves black, so it’s mainly a cult here in Orissa,’ Jeffrey patted my friend’s back and continued.
‘The Krishnas have adopted him; they see him and his brother and sister as symbols of universal harmony. Your friend Pekesh thinks we should find a new Subhadra and set up a Church of the Living Jagannath, with you at the head.’
Remus looked surprised, ‘No find no other Sylvia; she beautiful, she kind, she loving, she dead!’
Remus began wailing again, repeating, ‘My fault, my fault!’ over and over.
When he stopped he went and sat down in front of the wooden murti of Jagannath and kept asking the smiling face, ‘Why?’
‘You have been chosen to be Lord Jagannath’s earthly representative,’ Papu the priest spoke in his ear, ‘we have all come together in this place for a purpose, to spread harmony in the world.’
‘Sylvia was our sister,’ Remus looked at Subhadra’s smiling yellow face.
‘She Krishna sister too?’ the African enquired, Papu nodded, ‘He fuck his sister?’
‘The gods have their own rules!’ the priest replied.
‘Not a good example to the Indian people though,’ Jeffrey had been listening, ‘There’s not enough respect shown to women, while men are treated like gods and stories like the Krishna and Subhadra one don’t help.’
‘You were not born here, Baba, you cannot judge,’ Papu looked disapproving.
‘Last night I was offered a ten-year-old girl for sex, by that pimp and pusher, Raul, one of your fine young men,’ Jeffrey looked unusually angry.
‘I know him, nasty, nasty man!’ Remus interjected.
‘A really poor kid from the fishing village is just a financial asset to her parents, no doubt,’ Jeffrey was angry, ‘and before you get high and mighty, Papu, I’ve heard some things about your behaviour but I am not judgemental, do what you think is right!’
‘Now, now, children!’ Om Pekesh intervened, ‘We have all been brought here for a reason, to spread harmony not conflict.’
‘Sex has been a bone of contention with Remus and I for many years,’ Jeffrey put a hand on Remus’ shoulder, ‘We have learned to live in harmony, and we have learned a lot from each other.’
Chapter 73: When the Healing Has Begun
Remus and Jeffrey agreed to meet at the temple the next morning, without Om Pekesh, to discuss his idea, both men saw some merit in his suggestion. Papu had not arrived, so the temple was locked up; Jeffrey spoke first, his old friend was still in deep sadness,
‘I’ve had two months to get used to the knowledge that Sylvia is gone. Fortunately, I met someone who knew me very well and helped me through this. I think he was the quiet friend I have spoken to all my life, my pure spiritual self, a true soul brother, the good half of me, who thankfully enjoyed beer and the company of women but still the better twin.’
Remus looked astonished, ‘Me too, I have twin; I look for him, he here in India but no find him yet!’
‘You know, Remus, I’m not surprised by what you’ve just told me,’ Jeffrey replied, ‘There is something big happening here, you must find your man, you need to find each other, but where to look?’
Just then they spotted Papu coming down the temple lane on his bicycle, he greeted them with a, ‘Jay Jagannath!’
They told Papu about Remus’s possible twin, to which he rather expressionlessly replied, ‘Anirudh Ramachiranjiv, we met last Ratha Yatra here in Puri, your friend looks like his younger brother.’
‘Anirudh is not well though,’ the young priest added, ‘he is very sick, maybe he will die soon.’
‘Do you know where he is now, Papu?’ Jeffrey asked, ‘I think Remus needs to find him, to complete his transition.’
Remus didn’t quite understand but added, ‘Me need to find him, me know.’
‘The main temple will know, they know everything,’ Papu then proceeded with the ritual of opening the temple for the day.
‘He means the temple authorities, they are like a big political organisation and keep track of everyone,’ Jeffrey explained to his African friend, ‘Papu is not in their good books, he has been a naughty boy or so the gossip has it.’
‘We all naughty!’ was Remus’ reply, ‘I like naughty!’
‘Do not underestimate the power of “naughty”, I have only just realised what a powerful force it is,’ Jeffrey touched his friend’s forehead, ‘We can’t judge anyone; we have both done things that would shock most people.’
‘I ashamed of things I did for my brother Bob,’ Remus was solemn, ‘I no hate any man before, now hate him, he never my brother!’
‘I was never one for hatred but that man should have been stopped years ago,’ Jeffrey remained composed, ‘Hatred is not good, it is a part of that which people call Evil, hatred breeds resentment, anger and dehumanisation.’
Remus was now looking at the Jagannath figure and lay flat before him, like he had seen the worshippers do, ‘Forgive me, Lord,’ he addressed the murti, ‘I been bad man, help me be good man!’
‘I think you will get there, Remus,’ his white friend smiled, ‘We have been taken through a lot of suffering, so we can appreciate the rebirth when it happens.’
Jeffrey continued, ‘I feel a different person, I have learned to embrace my failings and have as a result started to love myself and feel some happiness amidst the tragedy.’
‘But Sylvia dead, too sad,’ Remus insisted, ‘I not happy, never been this not happy, not since my Mariana die.’
‘I having good time in India, best times, much funses and Sylvia she get pain,’ he added, ‘How Jack and John, they okay after big fight?’
‘They are okay physically, so is Edgar, but mentally, I don’t know,’ Jeffrey was very sombre.
‘All three young men were pushed into fighting for what they believed was right, it was a war and in war you kill people. So many silly boys, because Bob gave them money and drugged them into thinking themselves invulnerable, died by the dozen with our boys pulling the triggers. How do you think they feel?’
‘Ver
y, very bad, I no kill anyone, my boys have and my fault!’ Remus was in tears again, sobbing uncontrollably, ‘My fault!’
‘You didn’t give birth to Bob Jatta, Remus,’ Jeff looked stern, ‘God knows what made him so twisted, the truth will come out some day, but Bob had no compassion in him, other than for this bitch he had for a mother; I’m only just learning about the woman. My friend told me about people who can use the primordial darkness, the nothingness at the beginning of time, to reshape life to their own ends. Abibatu Jatta is one of those dark people.’
Jeffrey hugged his big black friend. They were a strange sight, a truly odd couple, but their bond was deep and would deepen as the healing process took hold; soon they would both attain a power they could never have dreamt of.
Chapter 74: I’ll Go the Whole Wide World
That afternoon the four would-be founders of the Church of the Living Jagannath were sitting in the shade near the sacred well, Papu’s bicycle propped against its surrounding wall.
‘I’ve been talking to Papu and we are in concord,’ Om Pekesh was giving an afternoon lecture to the small group at the beach temple, ‘he tells me that if you can find your Subhadra, then you will complete the energy triangle; he believes that if she is found, he can harness the energy generated by your union.’
‘It is down to you two to find the Oriental woman that we need,’ Om looked at them and thought that it would be hard work.