Salvation: Reckless Desires (Blue Moon Saloon Book 4)

by Anna Lowe

  He stroked the side of her breast gently, the roughest part of his thumb to the softest, most sensitive area of her flesh.

  “So beautiful,” he murmured. “So perfect.”

  She felt a blush spread over her face. He said it like he meant it.

  Of course I mean it, his blue eyes said.

  She stretched tall and lowered herself until her nipple was an inch away from his mouth, waiting. Desperate for his touch.

  I am ready to take this all the way, the gesture said. Are you?

  A slow, sultry smile spread across Todd’s face. His lips quirked, but he didn’t say anything. He just nodded once and opened his mouth, inviting her to come closer.

  Come to me, his whole body told her. Come to me.

  Chapter Nine

  It was crazy, stripping with Anna out on the deck like that.

  Crazy and oh, so good.

  Todd flexed his fingers, hoping she’d get the signal to come a little lower. Yes, he could rise up and taste her, but he needed to be sure she was ready to give.

  And give and give and give, his bear prayed.

  She dipped a little, letting that perfect pink bead slip past his lips.

  Her groan vibrated in his mind, just as loud and clear as all her words had been. That was part of Anna’s magic; digging past the physical to the emotional, connecting with more than just words.

  His eyes just about rolled back in his head as he closed his lips around her tight nipple. He teased it with his tongue until it was as erect as…as…okay, as he was. And Jesus, he’d have to do something about that soon. But this was too good to rush. Anna’s pleasure was his, too, and he wouldn’t deny either of them this high.

  For a moment, he worried about one of the others finding them there. What if Sarah wandered by and saw them getting it on? What if Soren came out into the back lot to pick up more beer and heard the noise they were bound to make?

  He discarded the worry immediately. Shifters had a sixth sense for such things. They’d steer clear to give Anna and him their privacy. God knew how many times he’d detoured around his cousins in their most passionate meetings with their mates. Soren, in all those years with Sarah, and Simon with Jessica. Would they approve?

  He turned the thought over for all of two seconds before deciding he didn’t give a shit. This was about him and Anna and no one else.

  He worked her nipple around and around until she was dancing wildly over him. Then he switched sides and alternated light rubs of his stubbly cheek with soft licks, and she groaned even more.

  More, his bear chanted inside. Please, more.

  He cupped her breast, kneading it, funneling the tight nub toward his mouth until he was gorging on her. Bear-style, like he might with the sweetest honey of summer or the last berries of fall. The way a bear did when he knew winter was coming, and it was going to be long and hard.

  The thought hovered over him ominously until he swiped it away. Later didn’t matter. Not right now.

  His hands wandered along her tight, smooth curves — unbearably beautiful curves, from the swell of her ass to the plunging lines beyond that called to his bear.

  Must have my woman. Must have her soon.

  He worked his hand around until he cupped her mound, and she bucked against him in delight. He popped the button of her jeans, tucked his fingers inside the waistband, and then froze.

  Sanity check. Was he really going to strip her right here?

  Of course, we’re going to strip her right here, his bear snapped back.

  Anna wiggled, giving him the green light, and he rolled her jeans and panties away. The second she straddled him, his hips jerked up.

  He groaned past the nipple still teasing his mouth and touched her between the legs. The scent of her arousal, together with the slippery moisture greeting his fingers worked him like a one-two punch.

  “Yes…” she whispered when he probed deeper, exploring her folds.

  Her body was tight with muscle, but inside, she was pillow soft. So soft, he might even have thought along the lines of delicate if she hadn’t been grinding so hard against his hand.

  The thought of how good it would feel to bury himself in that sweet heaven almost made him come there and then. But, shit. He froze.

  Anna’s head popped up, and her hair cascaded back in a silky wave. Her breasts bobbed above his face, pink from the scratch of his stubble.

  “What?”

  “I don’t have a condom.”

  She dropped back to his chest and made a cooing sound, totally unconcerned. “I’m clean. Believe me, I’m clean.”

  He shook his head. As a shifter, he couldn’t catch or transmit anything. That wasn’t the issue. “Still need a condom.”

  He might let himself get carried away with Anna — Jesus, he couldn’t stop himself — but he’d never neglect a condom again. No way.

  She shook her head, hiding her face against his chest and whispering the first words he failed to catch that night.

  “What?” He stroked her silky skin.

  “I can’t get pregnant,” Anna mumbled.

  He stopped moving, but a second later, Anna threw herself back into the rocking motion as if to erase emotion with action. Her voice was casual, unconcerned, but he could hear the pain beneath it.

  “You can’t…” he echoed stupidly, then shut up.

  “Don’t stop,” she whispered. Desperate, he sensed, to get past the subject. “Please don’t stop.”

  He dragged her head down to his and plunged into a kiss. She wanted distraction? Fine. He’d distract her all night. But sooner or later, he’d work her back to the topic. No way should she keep that kind of pain inside.

  First things first, his bear murmured.

  He nodded. Yeah, he was okay with that. But he wouldn’t forget. Not something as important as that.

  All right, then, his bear growled.

  He slid his fingers inside her again, getting back to the distraction part. And a minute later, when she was huffing and puffing and humming his name, he rolled.

  “Time I took the top,” he murmured, pinning her with his weight.

  She squeaked as he rolled, and he grinned. Did she really think he would lie back and let her do all the work?

  Show her. Show her what a bear can do.

  He glanced down, taking in the full length of her body for the first time. God, she was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

  “Todd…” she breathed, looking at him with wide, wild eyes.

  For a brief, ugly second, he remembered his scars and his injuries, but Anna smiled at him at exactly that moment and pushed every worry away.

  “Ready to show a girl a good time?”

  Oh, he’d show her, all right. Show her until she cried his name and came shuddering in his arms. But he made his bear promise to keep its fangs tucked away for the night first.

  No mating bites, you hear me?

  Who, me? his bear said all too innocently.

  He still wasn’t sure he should allow himself this one night, let alone dream of a lifetime together. He couldn’t be sure fate wouldn’t strike her down to punish him. But damn it, he couldn’t stop. No way. Not tonight.

  “Ready,” he murmured.

  She stripped him as fast as he’d stripped her — faster, maybe — and wrapped one hand around his aching cock.

  “Yeah, I’d say you’re ready,” she breathed.

  He thrust in her hand in answer to the unspoken challenge. Yeah, he was ready. Was she?

  She wrapped one long leg around him then the other, and he swore she dragged it out just to torture him. Her knees parted wide, welcoming him, and her eyes reflected the starlight. God, it was impossible not to imagine forever. Forever with this woman who understood him so well. Whose touch could settle his nerves or set him on fire, whichever she desired.

  Then he imagined forever without her, and a cloud cast a shadow over his soul.

  If I’m not allowed to bite, his bear growled, you’re not allowed to t
hink about bad things.

  “Forget about everything else,” Anna murmured. “Everything but you and me.”

  He slid an inch higher, lined up their bodies, and pushed inside her with one smooth thrust.

  “Todd…” she cried, clinging to his gaze.

  The need that had been an itch became a bonfire that roared through his veins. He pulled back and thrust in. Deeper. Harder.

  “Yes…” Her eyes fluttered, and she extended her arms over her head, giving herself over to him completely.

  Mine, his bear chanted, urging him along. Mine.

  He pumped harder, wincing at the searing sensation. She was tight — God, so incredibly tight — and her inner muscles milked him every inch of the way.

  “Yes,” she murmured, drawing her knees higher along his sides.

  He pinned her hands down with his, just as they were begging him to.

  “Look at me.” He meant to ask, not demand, but the words came out gruff and uncompromising.

  Anna locked eyes with him, nodding him along.

  Harder, her eyes begged.

  He pulled back, took a breath, and hammered back in.

  She bared her teeth and tipped her head back but didn’t break eye contact.

  Deeper. She nodded.

  His whole body burned as he thrust into her again.

  Please… Please, her whole body seemed to cry.

  He set into a rhythm, pumping harder. Every long, hot stroke brought him a step higher to the top of the cliff he wanted to tumble down so badly, he could have screamed.

  “Yes…Yes…” Her cries skirted the border of pleasure and pain. Was he going too hard? Pushing too far?

  Anna raised her head, reminding him she was no lightweight. Her eyes slid down the narrow gap between their naked chests and focused at a point below his waist.

  She’s watching, his bear yowled. She likes it.

  He withdrew until his cock strained at her entrance, letting her drink her fill. Then he thrust — really thrust, burying himself to the hilt.

  Her eyes glazed over, and she clutched at him, trying a dozen different positions. But the only position that really mattered was the angle of his cock inside her, and when he lifted her hips a little higher and slid home again, her mouth opened in a silent cry.

  Her hips pumped in time with his. Her nails scraped his back, and she arched off the ground.

  “God, yes…”

  He watched a drop of sweat fall from his body to hers. After that, his vision blurred, and everything ceased to exist but the exquisite friction inside. Building higher…higher…

  Anna cried and shuddered in his arms, coming apart.

  He clamped his hands around her hips a second before his release hit him. Then he was shuddering, too, and panting and pressing his mouth to her skin to suppress his bear’s groan of ecstasy.

  “Yes…” Anna panted, contracting around him one more time. “Yes…”

  Every muscle in his body strained to hold on to his high, yet he’d never felt more at peace.

  Mine, his bear rumbled. Mate.

  Her fingers brushed silky strokes across his back. He listened to her pant into his neck, then realized it was him panting into her neck, and finally decided he couldn’t care less who it was. He slumped, letting his body melt into position around her.

  “Todd,” she murmured. Her voice was muffled, but it sounded pleased. Very pleased.

  “Anna,” he mumbled, stroking her hair.

  Chapter Ten

  Anna lay perfectly still, looking at the stars. She would have preferred gazing into Todd’s eyes — they were just as deep, just as bright, and just as full of mysteries — but he had his face pressed to her chest, and she wasn’t in any hurry for him to move.

  “Wow,” she murmured when he stirred.

  Her heart rate was still galloping away like an out-of-control stagecoach, but it was a distant sensation, just like the feel of him under her hands. The only thing she registered clearly was the heat pulsing between their bodies.

  It wasn’t heat like the heat of noon, not even in Arizona. Not like heat from a fireplace you could snuggle up to. It was heat from within, and it zipped both of them into a snug little cocoon.

  “Wow,” Todd agreed. He rolled to his side but kept her close, and he didn’t open his eyes.

  She stroked his shoulder, wondering about his scars. He had a lot of them. Burn scars slashed one side of his chest. A long, jagged scar ran from his ribs to his hip. They weren’t blemishes so much as medals of honor to her eyes. All part of the amazing man she wanted to learn so much more about.

  The amazing man she’d just slept with under the stars.

  She chuckled.

  “What?” he murmured into her neck.

  “I’m naked in a public place—”

  “Semi-public,” he mumbled.

  “Wrapped around a naked man. And sweaty. I’m very sweaty.”

  He looked up.

  “In the best possible way,” she filled in quickly.

  He smiled, immediately ratcheting up her inner furnace another ten degrees, and she couldn’t help but wonder how many times he could make her come in one night.

  She wondered if she dared find out.

  Then she looked into the burning embers that were his eyes and gulped. Was he thinking the same thing?

  But as so often happened with Todd, the sparks in his eyes flickered and suddenly dimmed. He snuggled her closer and cupped her face.

  “I’m sorry you can’t have kids,” he said quietly.

  She looked away, but the soft stroke of his thumb on her cheek made her look up again. Making her face the truth instead of hiding from it.

  “Yeah, well…” She gestured weakly.

  Todd didn’t inch away as she half expected him to. He didn’t give her that disappointed, Are you sure you tried hard enough? look her mother always nailed her with. He just looked sad.

  “How do you know?” he asked. “Or shouldn’t I ask?”

  She bit her lip. There were a thousand happy things she’d rather talk to him about. She’d never really talked about the issue with anyone, not even Sarah. Did she really want to ruin a magical night by discussing it now?

  She looked up at the stars, and they seemed to say, If you want him to open up to you, you need to open up to him.

  She scratched her cheek. Slid her hand along his chest. Counted blades of fake grass, then finally got it out.

  “My ex and I tried—”

  “Your ex?” Todd’s voice dropped.

  She closed her eyes. Yes, her ex. “Both of us were only twenty-two and barely out of college, but he wanted to start a family right away. So we tried. And tried…” She trailed off. How much to say? How much to gloss over? “I had a miscarriage. Then another. And another.”

  Todd ran a hand down her shoulder, helping the shake in her voice even out again.

  “He didn’t get how hard that was. To him, it wasn’t a baby until it was born. To me, it was Tasha and Danny and Lucille.” A huge lump built in her throat, thinking about the way she used to touch her belly and hope and wish and pray.

  She shook her head. If Jeff hadn’t understood, why on earth would Todd? God, why had she even told him? He was probably squirming inside, thinking about ways to make a graceful exit while he could.

  Well, this has been really nice, he’d say as he rolled away from her and headed for the stairs. But I think I’d better go…

  Or maybe he’d stay a while but say something crass like, Why didn’t you just try again?

  But he didn’t roll away, and he didn’t say anything. Not for a long time. And when he did speak, it wasn’t aimed at her so much as at the stars.

  “I don’t get fate.” A bitter note snuck into his voice.

  The way he said it suggested he’d had his share of dark nights crying into a pillow — or whatever version of grief guys like him unleashed. Maybe hacking big oak trees into tiny little bits? Throwing bricks at a cement wall? She�
�d never tried those methods, but hell, she’d sure be tempted to.

  She sniffled. “Yeah. Well, at least I found out what kind of guy Jeff was when he left.”

  Todd’s head jerked around. “He left?”

  She nodded.

  “He left you?” His voice took on an incredulous tone. What idiot would ever leave a woman like you?

  That, as least, made her smile.

  “I told him I needed time to regroup before trying again.” She shrugged.

  “And?” A growl built in Todd’s throat. A good thing they weren’t at a cocktail party and face-to-face with her ex. She had the feeling Todd would tear out Jeff’s throat.

  “He said he wanted a divorce. He was married with a baby thirteen months after I lost Lucille.”

  “What a shithead.”

  She actually laughed, because it felt good to hear someone else say it out loud. Almost everyone else just looked at her like it had all been her fault. All her mother had done was urge her to beg Jeff to take her back and promise to try any treatment he thought she ought to subject herself to.

  Fight for him, honey, her mother had said. Go back and try again.

  The corners of Todd’s mouth turned down, and his eyes grew dark, as if he knew. Really, truly knew the feeling of losing a child he’d never even had the chance to meet properly.

  She looked into his eyes, wondering just what was going through his mind.

  “Hey,” she whispered, trying to cheer both of them up. “I was having a good time until now.”

  He gave her a weak smile and pulled her closer. “Sorry. I was having a good time, too.”

  “Really?” Her voice squeaked a little.

  His smile turned into the genuine thing. “Yeah. And you know what?” He tugged and turned at the same time, pulling her on top of him.

  “What?” she said, stretching out along his body. His chest hair tickled her nipples, and her legs tangled with his.

  “We’re back where we started.” His eyes dropped to her lips.

  She smiled and shifted her weight slightly, pressing down with her hips. “I guess we are.”