She hung her head in misery of having to ask him for help, but didn’t know how long it would take her to pull herself together. With the party looming, she didn’t know if she was up to dealing with her unruly feelings all night long. She was exhausted just thinking about it, tired of the constant turmoil she’d been dealing with all day.
He hesitated, not sure if she was asking for him to help give her some emotional control via his abilities or what. “You want me to calm you?” he asked. She nodded shakily and then groaned, covering her eyes in shame.
“Babe, never be embarrassed to ask me for help. God knows you do very little of that. Are you sure about this?”
She nodded again.
He reached out and placed his hands on either side of her face and pushed into her mind with his, expecting her to fight him despite her request. There was nothing there to fight, he slipped right in and lightly doused her nervous reactions, sedating the impulses causing her tears, and boosting the areas that would allow her to gain control. Seconds later he removed his hands.
“There, better?” he asked.
She thought for a few moments. “Yes, I think so. Thank you. I felt like I was drowning there for a while.”
He stroked her hair and held her close for a minute, then humorously said, “Just remember, you asked! Now, we’ve got a party to go to, ready?” and got a real smile in return.
* * * *
“Amanda? Is that you?” an excited voice called over the din of the partygoers who now filled the Graysons’s home and yard. Amanda estimated there were at least seventy-five people there. She turned from refilling an empty chip bowl, looking for the speaker of the semi familiar voice, trying to pin it down.
“Cara!” Amanda laughed as the other woman booked across the lawn with two little girls in tow. Releasing her daughters, Cara threw her arms around Amanda and hugged her tight.
“How are you?” they both asked at the same time, laughing at each other.
“What are you doing here?” both at the same time again.
Amanda shook her head with a grin, “You first!” she told the other woman while smiling humorously at their simultaneous greetings.
“I’m great, and I’m here because it’s my parents’ home and my sister’s birthday.” Amanda, feeling like she was two steps behind, finally figured out Cara was the physical therapist sister Zack had mentioned.
“Zack’s sister? I don’t know why I didn’t make the connection before when he mentioned you to me!”
Cara winked at her. “It probably has something to do with my shit-head, ex-husband’s, last name,” she whispered in her ear in deference to her daughters hanging on her legs.
“It’s so good to see you. You look wonderful,” Cara exclaimed.
“You look great, too, Cara, but then you always do.”
Amanda watched Cara tuck her short dark hair behind one ear as she leaned down to answer a question from her oldest daughter. She made a face at Amanda as she stood back up.
“Emma has just reminded me of my manners. Amanda, this is Emma, and this is Lissie. Actually, Elizabeth. Emma and Lissie, this is Mrs. Hall.”
Amanda leaned down and very seriously extended her hand to Emma, who shook it with both of her tiny ones. Portraying a pretended air of maturity the four-year-old said, “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Hall.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, too, Miss Emma.” Then she winked at the little girl who giggled at her.
Squatting down on her heels to the level of the two-year-old, Amanda softly said, “Hello, Lissie,” and the little girl hid behind her mother’s legs, giving her a shy smile.
Amanda smiled up at Cara. “They’re beautiful,” she offered warmly.
“Don’t let them fool you. They’re monsters, is what they are!” Cara responded, smiling at them indulgently. It was very clear how much she adored her girls.
“Unka Zack!” Lissie cried in excitement as she was swept up into his arms and turned upside down.
“Zack, don’t make her throw up,” Cara warned him.
He smiled mockingly at Amanda. “Don’t worry. I’ve had lots of experience lately with vomit.” But he turned his giggling niece right-side up in his arms as she demanded he “do it again!”
“No, moppet. Your mother says you’ll get sick, and there are lots of goodies for you. You don’t want to miss out on that, do you?”
Cara looked at Zack in confusion as to his remark about vomit, but then brushed it aside. “So, Amanda’s here with you then?” she looked even more befuddled and Zack laughed at her.
Stepping around his sister, Zack planted a kiss firmly on Amanda’s upturned lips.
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’” Cara giggled as she answered her own question, looking back and forth from Amanda to her brother.
“How do you two know each other?” he asked them curiously.
“Cara was my primary physical therapist, following the accident,” Amanda stated calmly.
Zack waited to see if any negative feelings followed her response, in preparation of helping her through it. He’d been stunned when she’d asked him if he’d mind “staying on-duty for the remainder of the evening, just in case” But, she hadn’t asked for help for the past two hours and seemed to be managing, so he’d left well enough alone.
“She was my dream patient,” Cara replied, causing Zack to lift his eyebrows in mocking disbelief
“Amanda? A dream patient? You’re pulling my leg right?” he joked.
“Nope. They doubted this gal would walk again, and look at her!”
Zack swallowed hard, imagining Amanda in a wheelchair for the rest of her life, and bile rose in the back of his throat. He’d never get used to hearing how bad that accident, or the results of it, had been.
“She’s certainly one of a kind,” he agreed, kissing her tenderly once more.
* * * *
Zack found himself searching the house, again, for Amanda somewhere around eleven that night. He’d lost track of her about an hour before as he’d started clearing food away and taking up the tables. There were still more than a few people partying, but the majority of them had begun to thin out between ten and ten-thirty.
The younger crowd had headed off, with the birthday girl, to a dance club on the outskirts of downtown Pittsburgh. Becca had invited Amanda to go with them but she’d graciously declined, pleading her injuries. He’d asked her if she was in pain, but she’d shaken her head minutely, clueing him in she’d used it as an excuse not to go. But the invite had reminded him that Amanda was two years younger than his baby sister. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten that. She seemed so grounded and mature, but then she’d been through a lot that had aged her swiftly, unfortunately. She acted like she was closer to forty than closing in on thirty, sometimes. He smiled, remembering the way she’d bounced in her excitement of showing him the view on the mountain top, there was still a little bit of the younger Mandy in there. Good!
Where the hell did she go? He jogged up the stairs and checked the guest bath and then began checking the bedrooms. He found her sound asleep on one of the guest beds, with his nieces.
They’d taken a shine to her, and spent most of the evening hanging on her once their shyness had passed. Cara kept telling her that she didn’t need to keep playing with them, holding them, feeding them, etc., to go and enjoy herself. She’d only smiled and told Cara to have fun and relax for a change, that she’d look after them, and she had. She’d kept an eagle eye on them, their doings, and their whereabouts the entire evening. She’d cuddled them when they’d wanted to be held, and had softly scolded them when they began scrapping with each other, and then distracted them with other activities.
He stood in the doorway and watched her sleep for several minutes, savoring the quiet sweetness of what he saw. Emma was on her left side curled up against her, one chubby arm and hand folded under her thick red head of hair, the other arm was thrown over Amanda’s chest and clutched a strand of her long chestnut
hair. Lissie was protectively wrapped in Amanda’s right arm and was, basically, sleeping on top of her. Lissie’s tiny pudgy face was pillowed on one breast.
“Whatcha thinkin’, big brother?” Cara’s low soft voice jerked him from his private thoughts. “Ever gonna make some of your own?” she asked him.
Zack inexplicably teared up, and quietly tried to clear his throat. “Yes. I’d like that, someday. I never have, until recently, you know? Never missed it. But now…yes, I’ve been thinking about it. I’m pretty sure Mandy’s the one,” he admitted quietly.
“It’s going to be hard getting through to her, Zack. You’re aware of all she’s been through?” Zack nodded. “She’s an amazing person,” Cara told him. “Treat her well. She deserves it.”
“Momma?” Emma had heard her mother’s voice and woken.
“Right here, baby, it’s time to go home and get to bed,” Cara whispered to her.
“Can Mandy come too?” Emma asked. Cara laughed as she reached for her daughter. “It’s Mrs. Hall, pumpkin,” she corrected her.
“No, Momma. She told us to call her Mandy.” Emma stated it seriously in a whisper, as though it was a secret.
“Okay then, that’s fine. But honey, Amanda has her own home to go to. Unless…” she turned to her brother and lifted her brows suggestively and Zack chuckled.
“We haven’t determined tonight’s sleeping arrangements yet,” he told her ambiguously.
Amanda stretched and yawned, “We haven’t, huh? I thought you were dropping me at home.” Emma reached back down to hug her and she kissed the little girl’s head. “Bye, sweetie,” she told her.
Lissie was still out cold so Zack leaned down to lift the toddler from her arms so Amanda could get up. “Here, I’ll carry her down and help you get them buckled in,” he told his sister.
Mandy pressed a second kiss to the baby’s head, and Zack felt a palpable wave of sorrow wash off of her. “Bye, baby,” she whispered to her.
Ten minutes later they took their leave, after getting the kids settled into car seats and thanking Zack’s parents, who invited them back the next day for a regular family dinner, sans party guests. “I promise we won’t make you cook,” his mother told her jokingly.
Amanda laughed. “No one should have to cook. There should be leftovers galore.” His mother looked horrified at the suggestion and insisted she cook for Amanda.
“No. I’ll only come if we do leftovers,” Amanda told her.
She thought it ridiculous that his family cook any more food and knew they just felt bad about what had transpired prior to the party. The faux pas committed by Zack’s father hadn’t been addressed in the midst of party prep and incoming guests, and Amanda hadn’t asked them to, but figured the invitation to the meal tomorrow was meant to mend fences.
“Where to, babe?” Zack asked as they pulled out of his parent’s driveway.
“I thought you were taking me home,” she looked over at him in confusion.
“You sure?” he asked her, smiling rakishly. Then felt his stomach drop when she answered him.
“Yes, it seems like it’s been forever since I’ve slept in my own bed,” she told him, yawning.
She’d misunderstood him. Well, he’d clear that up simply enough. “What’s one more night then? Will you stay with me, at my place?” He could feel her uncertainty and kept pushing. “It’s only five minutes from here, and I’m exhausted,” he claimed. Knowing damned well he would never be that tired lying next to her. He just wanted her in his bed. Not in her and David’s, not that she’d invited him to stay with her either, he belatedly noticed.
He kept driving, heading in the direction of his own home, which was opposite that of Amanda’s, praying she’d say yes, doubting she would the longer the silence lengthened. She still hadn’t answered him when he pulled into the drive of his own home. He reached up automatically to hit the button for the garage door opener then hesitated, watching Amanda.
“I’ll take you to your home, if you really want me to.” The offer was a grudging one, but he’d do it if that was what she wanted.
Amanda had spent the past few minutes trying to sort through how she felt about spending the night at Zack’s. This was a turning point. It wasn’t the safe haven of her own home, or the impersonal carriage house that belonged to neither of them. Going home with him meant she’d be doing more than just sleeping here. Part of her wanted more. Part of her was still scared to death. She gave herself a mental pep talk. She was either in this, or she wasn’t, and she wasn’t being fair to Zack by being so indecisive, she’d end up hurting him. She reached across him and up to the visor, pressed the garage door button, and then pressed her lips to his.
She heard him release a long low sigh of relief at her unspoken answer and suddenly realized he was as uncertain and scared about of all this as she was. He doubted himself. This gorgeous, wonderful, kind and caring man doubted himself. She had done that to him. She wondered if she was good enough for him. Would she ever be able to meet an expectation that he hadn’t even set, an expectation that she needed to set for herself, to commit to giving them the chance to try? The thoughts flew through her mind so quickly that it had only been a moment and she felt Zack tighten his arm possessively around her as he pulled into the garage.
He had pulled into a long circular drive that she hadn’t paid much attention to in the midst of her decision-making but as they exited the garage he led her through the garage door itself and to his front door. It wasn’t until he opened it that she understood why. He wanted her to have a first full impression of it rather than leading her through the utility area. He was proud of his home and he should be.
The home was newer, probably built within the past five or six years. She’d bet he’d designed it himself. It was a very large, stone two-story house, with a large level front yard with lush landscaping, shrubs, flowering plants, and trees. All were strategically lighted during the evening hours. She couldn’t wait to see it in the daylight.
As he opened the door her breath was taken away by the grand entrance. Marble-tiled floors offset in colors of ivory and caramel ran the length and width of it. A wide hardwood staircase on her left led to the upstairs. She stood there, just taking it in for a few minutes, before she realized Zack had started toward the rear of the hall, carrying her overnight bag. He’d stopped to assess her reaction, and seemed pleased to have surprised her.
“Gorgeous!” was all she could say. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been in much grander homes or even been involved in renovating mansions. It was that this was Zack’s and he’d created it. She was sure of it.
He laughed at her sense of awe. “Come on, let me show you around,” he extended his hand to grasp hers and gave her a little tug, pulling her into the curve of his arm beneath his shoulder.
He took her through the main level, showing her the formal living room that housed a huge stone fireplace with ivory marble accents, and wide French doors that led to the magnificent backyard that she couldn’t clearly see in the dark. She got the impression the grounds out back were massive. Crown molding ran through the formal living room and dining room, and all floors were hardwood with beautifully accented area carpets. Great windows, throughout, allowed light to filter through and they made the rooms appear even larger.
The huge eat-in kitchen was a chef’s dream, with state of the art stainless steel appliances and glistening cherry wood cabinets. Amanda literally bit down on her lip trying to maintain her composure. She lost the battle while turning in a complete circle to survey it, looked at Zack in disbelief, and bust out in hilarity.
He smiled at her hesitantly, not getting the joke, and when she laughed harder he asked in confusion “What’s so funny?”
She was hard pressed to spit out. “Z…Zack, you…you…c…can’t, even…cook!” She wrapped her arms around herself trying to get a grip. It was just too damned funny! She wondered if he even knew what half the appliances were for, let alone how to use them. He blushed b
ut didn’t deny it and gave her a self-deprecating smile, shrugging his shoulders and dragging a hand through his hair. He didn’t want to admit he’d planned the kitchen for his future wife, her.
“Follow me,” he headed out of the kitchen and down a side hall to the master bedroom. In awe once more she took in the cathedral ceiling, again with crown molding. A brick fireplace took up most of one wall and extended to the ceiling. A massive oak, king-sized, sleigh bed was centered opposite the fireplace, and a bronze silk brocade bedspread covered the bed which was piled with soft pillows. To her left was a his and hers bath area with a tiled shower in one corner and a huge hot tub in the other. His and hers walk-in closets were beyond that.
“Whoa!” Again, she stared in wonder at what the man had done. “My God, this is magnificent! Did you decorate it yourself, or did you bring someone in?” He looked slightly offended so she quickly added, “Not that I don’t believe you’re capable, or anything. It’s just…wow! This is simply amazing!”
He knew what she meant and took mercy on her. “I did it myself. I designed the house years ago, just out of college really, but didn’t get the chance to bring it to fruition until seven years ago when I purchased the property to build on. There are five bedrooms, two on the main floor, and the den is off of the foyer. There’s a game room in the finished basement. I’ll finish showing you around tomorrow.”
He stopped and walked over to place her things in one, empty, she noticed, closet.
“But, right now, there’s something else amazing I’d really like to show you.” His eyes took on a devilish gleam and he gave her a wicked smile as he approached her from across the room. He almost prowled toward her, like a predator after his prey, and she shivered in both fear and anticipation.
Anticipation won out.
Chapter 11:
Possession
Zack approached her slowly, carefully, as if he were indeed stalking his prey and Amanda’s breath caught in her throat as he dimmed the lamp to a lower setting and closed in. Wait, wait! She wanted to shout. I’m still not sure. Before she could get the words out he pulled her into his arms and urgently parted her lips with his. His tongue caressing her lips, stroking her tongue, drew a shiver of arousal from her and her whole body shuddered as it took over from her brain.
Amanda's Touch [D.A.R.E.ing Women] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 30