by J. L. Beck
My body reacted the same way my emotions did. I took a step back, my back hitting Killer’s hard chest.
“It’s called training, Ty.” I could practically feel Killer’s annoyance vibrate through me and into my skull. “Not something that concerns you really, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to weasel your way into yet another thing in my life.” Killer continued. Anger was etched in Ty’s features as he stared, his eyes darting between Killer and I. I knew he could see the marks that were on my neck, and I didn’t give one fuck about it.
“Don’t you have something better to do?” I countered before he could speak again. Like I said before, Ty rubbed me the wrong way. His actions and the things he said didn’t line up with the person he acted as if he was. Leaders made decisions for the whole team, not just themselves which he seemed to do a lot.
“Have you learned words, or are you just trying to protect your boyfriend?” Ty’s venomous words hung between us. I wanted to lash out, slap the stupid right out of him but even I knew that couldn’t fix him. A growl erupted from Killer’s chest, vibrating through me once more. He pushed forward as if he was going to show him a lesson of his own. I stood my ground, though, placing all my weight against him.
“What Killer and I do is none of your business. Leader or not, you don’t own us.” I spat at him, wanting my words to bruise him somehow.
“Wasting my time is my business. I mean this actually helps my case. I planned on changing your trainer anyway, but this just proved that it needs to happen immediately.” Ty’s eyes met mine and I swear I could see the flicker of a memory in the back of my mind, but the second I blinked it wiped any trace of it away.
“Over my dead fucking body!” Killer’s voice was deathly cold, sending a chill down my spine. The shock had hit me hard, as anxiety filled my belly, and a pain had started to form in my chest at the very thought of them separating Killer and I. Could they even do that? The better question was, would Killer let them do that?
“Then I guess you’re going to be dead here soon because it’s happening and there isn’t a fucking thing you can do about it.” Ty smiled, genuine happiness showing in his features.
“Try me fucker, try me… I dare you!” Killer’s fingers dug into my back as he tried to make me move so he could rip Ty’s throat out. I understood the anger he was feeling but knew there was nothing either of us could do about it. If Ty said we had to do something, we did. They had the right to throw us out on the streets if we caused any problems and as much as I hated it, I knew that we had a better chance of surviving here than out there where people looked at you like a dog that needed to be put down. People were afraid of the things they didn’t understand, and they refused to see the inhumane things that were inflicted upon all of us Project members.
“You could always appeal it, but then again I make the rules and since you aren’t all that high up on my list of people I like I’m fairly sure that nothing will change.” Ty’s smart mouth was going to get him killed, even I knew that. Killer raged like a trapped bull behind me. I wanted to react, to say something, but I knew it would do me no good.
We were both trapped, and now we were being separated.
“Watch your back Ty, someone might rip your fucking spine out one of these days.” Killer’s words were so forced that I wondered if he was on the verge of reverting back to his old self the man he was before I found him.. I never got the chance to say anything to him, though, because as soon as he spoke he walked away, leaving me alone with the monster that was hell bent on ripping us both apart.
Seven
Killer
The smell of blood permeated the air, so much so that I could practically taste it on my tongue. Vengeance. It was the only thing on my mind, the desire to rip away the air another person was breathing. I had an agenda and at the top of it was to kill.
“Please don’t…” A female voice begged off to my right. I rolled over onto my side more than ready to slit someone’s throat. Something stopped me from acting on that thought the moment I laid eyes on her. I was drawn to her dark hair, soft skin, and delicate features; she looked just like a porcelain doll.
The thirst for blood was there, but the need was far less than it had ever been before. I titled my head at the angelic being before me, wondering what it was about her that made me want to forgive and forget. I reached out pushing a piece of her hair from her face, admiring its softness between my two fingers.
My eyes lingered on that single strand, the fragileness of it and how in a second with a single pull of my fingers it could be ripped away. Then I noticed the blood. It was everywhere; across her forehead, in her hair, on her long slender fingers that were right next to her head. I took in a deep breath, bringing her scent in through my nostrils. Skimming my nose across her cheek I could smell my own scent against her skin and knew she was of some importance to me. Not just anyone got to stay around me long enough to wear my scent.
Then it hit me.
“Mags?”
I flew up out of bed, startled by the memory that had entered my dreamy mind as I slept. Sweat poured off of me with every heavy breath I took in, my heart racing as if I had just run twenty laps around the arena. Casting my eyes down, I noticed Maggie had rolled over to face me in her sleep, her night shirt riding up to show off her very toned legs, the roundness of her ass and lower back.
“Fucking Christ,” I mumbled under my breath unable to take my eyes off her body. I was basically salivating over her, going back and forth as to why I couldn’t have her. It was obvious to me for many reasons, one being the person I was now, and to the things that I knew and hadn’t told her yet.
Ty wasn’t just some random person to Maggie. Even thinking of the fact that I was withholding information from Maggie caused guilt to eat away at me. My insides burned with acid, my tongue had numerous bites on it from holding back my words when I was around Ty. I knew if anyone deserved the truth it would be Maggie. She had sacrificed so much in my honor; the least I could do was tell her the truth of who Ty really was. Still, my gut told me it wasn’t the right time to tell her, with everything going on I wasn’t sure she could handle the news.
Just being awakened and learning how to fight, and handle those at PGI was hard enough. Having Ty for a brother would be the straw that broke the camel’s back for sure.
“It isn’t true…” Maggie rolled over in her sleep, the words slipping from her lips so quietly it was as if she didn’t want anyone to hear them. As soon as I heard the words my attention and thoughts shifted right to her. Worry marred her face, her eyebrows scrunching together as wrinkles formed against her forehead.
“Shhh…” I spoke fluidly and as softly as I could, bending down and rubbing a hand over the top of her head, shoving loose strands of hair from her face. Taking my thumb, I ran it across the wrinkles on her forehead trying to erase them. She was too beautiful to have worry wrinkles like she did.
It’s your fault fucker. If you didn’t fall in love with her in your human life, then you never would’ve brought her into this.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The beat of my heart pounded loudly in my ears. Staring at my thumb against Maggie’s skin it hit me how much of a savage I truly was. How she deserved so much more than the monster I was.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
My blood pressure rose with each beat, my hearing catching the faint sound of her breathing and my nose catching the smell of fear in the air.
Sweet as sin, her fear tasted like heaven against my tongue. I opened my mouth too, take in a deeper breath, just to get a better taste. My eyes lingered over her body. Everything inside of me was evolving I was losing my human feelings and the old me was resurfacing quickly. The man who killed without thought. The man who didn’t love. Everything I was feeling was a reaction to the fact that Maggie had provoked the beast inside of me, the killer that gave me my name.
Long smooth legs, that lead up to her thighs that were begging to have my head placed between them
. I wanted this woman like I wanted my next breath like I needed my next breath.
“No,” I answered my inner ego’s needs loudly. I had to get out of bed. I had to leave this room and burn off the dark desires before I did something like give into them.
Slowly I pushed from the bed, forcing every muscle in my body to go against what my body truly wanted; which was to be right between her legs, holding her, and bringing her to a level of ecstasy like she had never felt before.
Deep breaths. I told myself as I forced myself to take in air.
I breathed in through my nose and out my mouth, grabbing a pair of sweats off the chair and throwing them on along with a white t-shirt. Then I slipped into my pair of gym shoes and headed towards the door. My fingers gripped the cold metal of the door handle and as I wrapped my hand firmly around it to open the door I heard her whimpers and pleas again.
“It wasn’t him; I promise…” She begged and pleaded with whomever, it was that she was dreaming about. Hearing her pleas only made things worse for me. All I wanted to do was love Maggie with every part of my soul, to protect her from all the evil in this world. What I failed to realize was that the worst type of evil had always been within grabbing distance; that evil was I.
Forcing myself out the door before I could stop myself, I opened the door and closed it softly behind me, not breathing a single ounce of oxygen until I was outside the bedroom and in the vacant hall.
Air filtered in through my lungs as I took small shallow breaths, allowing the clean air to clear my thoughts. I needed to blow off some steam and I also needed to find a way to tell Maggie the truth about Ty before he could. Him changing her trainer wasn’t just a coincidence. He had an agenda that he was seeking, and I wanted to know what it had to do with Maggie.
With a clear head, I headed towards the cafeteria knowing I needed to get something to eat. Lots of things set off my killing instincts the beast that always lurked under the surface of my skin waiting for his chance to come out and play. Things like sex, irritability, anger, and I could go on but I’m sure you’re getting the idea.
The walk to the cafeteria was short, and as I grabbed a granola bar and a milk from the open food bar I saw Ty and another male that I didn’t recognize in the far corner near the furthest exit of the room. Ty hadn’t noticed me yet, so I took my items and took a seat at the table nearest me, the food bar blocking part of my face and body.
“Maggie’s unique, every single person here knows that. Why do you think no one fucks with her?” Ty explained to the male. I could hear their quiet voices even from across the room. I was sure Ty could sense I was here, but by the time he realized it I would already be gone.
“Being unique does nothing for us if she isn’t on our side.” The unknown male added as if he was trying to break through Ty’s tough exterior walls.
Ty’s eyes swung around the room as he looked for anyone that may be evasive dropping. I leaned into the table, hoping the food bar covered me enough and focused my attention on listening to their words.
“Killer doesn’t want her to know yet, but I’m going to tell her that she’s my sister. She has to know the truth and the sacrifices that her mother made to save her. Our parents weren’t perfect, but her mother was one of the first to have sex with our kind.” Ty continued on. I knew all these things already. Hearing Ty say them out loud was a whole different thing, though. Tension filled my muscles and my belly burned with bent up aggression that came out of nowhere.
“He will kill you if he finds out.” The unknown male was actually smarter than I was giving him credit for. Maybe, just maybe when I left this fucking place I would spare him and leave his throat intact.
“That’s if the motherfucker finds out.” Ty sounded so sure of himself. I couldn’t force myself to linger around the cafeteria a moment longer with the emotions I was feeling. I needed to call Gauge and let him know there was a huge possibility that Maggie was going to find out about Ty being her brother and the things her mother had done in return for Maggie’s life.
After losing her father and being unsure of whether he was dead or alive I knew telling her about her mother would be the one thing to push her away from me and cause her to go running straight to Ty even if it wasn’t him she would want as a sibling. Keeping a secret as big as this would be a huge betrayal to her.
Maybe that’s why I hadn’t told her. I was selfish like that. Or maybe I was actually concerned about her well-being. All I knew was that it was my turn to save Maggie, even if it pushed her away from me for a while.
Eight
Maggie
People changed. It was the never-ending fact of life. Those that were your friends today could become your enemies tomorrow and I was starting to realize that. Memories were hitting me more and more, every night when my head hit the pillow I was forced to watch a movie play out in my mind of things that I never experienced or remember doing. Still, I could feel it in my bones that the person I was watching was truly myself.
“Is it not bullshit that to get a hot meal around here you have to get up before ten am?” Rambo asked, startling me right out of my skin. Had I been that engrossed in my own thoughts that I hadn’t realized someone had sat down in front of me and started talking.
“Not really,” I responded, taking a bite of my sandwich. Outside of Killer I had started to meet others, pushing myself out of my comfort zone so that I could get to know what the Project society was about. Which is where Rambo came in. We met in the dining hall one evening, and seemed to get along from that day forward.
Rambo was a big man standing at close to six feet two inches and weighing in at over two hundred and fifty pounds. To many, I’m sure he seemed like a scary dude, but to me, he was just a big teddy bear.
“Seriously?” Rambo questioned.
“Yes seriously, most of everyone here seems to be up and moving at the ass crack of dawn. You’re the only one I’ve met that hates getting up in the morning, aside from myself.” I smiled sincerely, happy to be out of my own mind and finally talking to someone who didn’t have any relation to what was going on in my life.
Rambo smiled back, revealing straight white teeth. He was attractive looking with his boyish grin and soft eyes the color of coffee. I’m sure he would make someone out in society a very happy woman one day.
“That’s just it, I don’t get how I fit in here.” He joked, taking a bite out of his PB & J. I laughed quietly under my breath because I’m sure he knew how he fit in here. We all knew how we fit in here. We were fucked up, that’s how.
“If you don’t know how you fit in here, then that’s probably why you’re here.” I finished my sandwich and wiped away the crumbs of bread that were sitting on my black training shirt.
“Smart ass. I completely understand why Killer is in love with you.” His words caused my eyes to lift to his. Killer’s name was always associated with mine in this place. I couldn’t go anywhere without someone assuming he was looming right behind me.
“Why is that?” I was curious what people thought our relationship was all about. Most had no idea how we came to meeting one another. How I had tried to protect him for years, as we grew up, and how he tried to force me away until the day they took him away and told me he died. The painful memory still stung and pulled on the tender strings of my heart. I had Killer now, but it wasn’t without fight and loss.
Aside from Killer and I knowing each other only the people that ran the Brotherhood got the files on each person that was brought in, or at least that’s what I was told.
Rambo rolled his eyes and smiled before speaking, “You’re funny as hell. Beautiful, and you deal with the shit in this place like you have been doing it all your life. Killer should know how good he has it, having you I mean because if you were mine…” The color of his cheeks took on a red hue as his confession came out. “If you were mine I wouldn’t let you go a day without knowing how much I cherished you.”
The way Rambo talked about Killer made my chest ache
. Not because of what he said, but more so because of the way his emotions came out when he was saying them. Rambo knew the love Killer and I shared was a once in a lifetime kind of thing. Even we knew that, so why were we still playing around this thing between us like it was a cat and mouse game I had no idea.
“Thanks, Rambo,” I said overwhelmed with emotion. I could feel tears on the verge of spilling over, but pushed them away as I got up from the table. I didn’t want to make myself look weak. I couldn’t, it would be the easiest way for someone to put a knife in my back.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. You know I wouldn’t cross that line, Maggie.” Rambo interjected, placing his hand on my own and stopping me from going any further. I looked down at his hand on my own, wishing that it was Killer’s hand comforting me right now.
“No, no. It’s okay, Ram.” I assured him, grabbing my tray with one hand and pulling the other away from his touch. The coffee coloring of his eyes grew darker and I was afraid he had taken things the wrong way.
“If you say so. I don’t need Killer coming for my blood.” This time, it was my turn to roll my eyes. The testosterone in this place and the fact that I was the only female caused fights left and right. Mainly for Killer because he felt he needed to protect me every chance he got. What these men didn’t realize was I could protect myself if need be. I had been doing it my whole life against a different kind of evil than the one I was now facing.
“If Killer comes to you, let me know.” I shot over my shoulder at him, catching the sincere worry in his eyes just as I walked out of the room. I took the stairs to the training arena, needing a little time to myself to think. This entire place was overwhelming on my senses, not to mention when your mind was nothing but a jigsaw puzzle it left a lot of blanks in the places you needed information the most. I was starting to think my whole life was a puzzle, with pieces thrown all over the place in every single direction. I had no idea what was going on with my father, what happened back at the cabin, and now that I was changing, evolving into one of the Brotherhood men there would be things that came along with it that I didn’t understand. Killing triggered the serum inside of me. I was perfect until I killed someone. Until there blood coated my hands.