Faded Encounters

by Elsy Green

  Obviously I’m not thinking clearly! I’m sleep deprived. I put my hot chocolate down and push away the weird thoughts that try to overtake my mind shoving them into the deepest part of my brain. I am Allie Davis, that’s the end of it. Riella has to leave. One way or the other I’m getting rid of her and her weird dreams.

  Undeterred by my last episode Sophie has elected herself to help me through this mess. She’s dried my hair, put me in a fluffy robe, with matching fluffy socks and fussed over me until I got under my covers and drank my flavorless hot chocolate. Now she’s hunched over my desk, her hand moving a million miles per minute as she creates a dream board. It’s what she’s named it, because she thinks that once I see everything written in big letters on a gigantic poster board it will help me better visualize my goals and overcome these dreams. I’m not too sold on the product, but I humor her nonetheless.

  At the top it reads Allie’s Dreamland and underneath it she has five big circles where she’s labeled them with each one of my dreamland settings. We have the computer lab starring Jaxon and black masks. The fountain park with a white path also starring Jaxon and the mention of someone named Ryss. The hospital like lab starring, you guessed it, Jaxon and Ceres, and of course the rave. Another hospital like setting with white coats and some blonde lady, the school with a younger version of herself that turned into a house-lab with Nadia, Theo, and Ryss. And last but not least, the last dream where I overheard Nadia and Theo’s odd conversation about my fate.

  She’s even got a section off to the side labeled Ethan Miller even though we haven’t even discussed that possibility yet, that could all just be a misunderstanding, but Sophie insists it goes on the board.

  “Okay!” She turns to me with a proud smile. “As you can see, I’ve created your settings and the details you’ve given me. What we know is that Jaxon is a constant in these dreams, he’s either there or mentioned, except for this last dream when you were a wee little one.

  “Anyways, I figure Jaxon must be some sort of friend, or maybe even a protector. He’s always there for you, helping you, protecting you. And you seem to be running from someone or something most instances. Possibly the people in the white coats? They seem to be against you in your dreamland. The pretty blonde lady in particular.” She taps the pen against her chin thoughtfully. “And you seem to go through a timeline, sometimes you are older, sometimes you are younger.

  “What I don’t know is what Allie was doing during all these dreams. I need to know your exact location, thoughts, feelings, surroundings and if they played in role in your dreams.”

  “You think I can remember those kinds of details? I can barely remember what day it is.”

  “I’m sure you can remember something. If we can pin point what you were doing, maybe we can figure out triggers and possible patterns. It will help us see the bigger picture, maybe even solve this puzzle.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “Oh, come on. Work with me. We are going to figure this thing out, I promise. Just lay down and think about the first dream you remembered. The one with Jaxon in the computer lab. Try to remember every single detail about where you were before you had the dream. Location, people, smells, what you ate, what you were thinking about, things people said.”

  I look over at her sure she’s joking, she’s not. Dead serious and impatiently waiting for me to follow her instructions.

  “No. I’m not going back. I’m not risking having another dream. Whoever this Riella chick is, I don’t think she’s a good person.” I swallow down remembering the anger I felt against the blonde lady and the guilt I had as I stood over that couple’s dead bodies. She had something to do with it, I have no doubt about that.

  Sophie comes over to me and sits on the edge of the bed looking at me with a concerned frown. “You can’t say that. You don’t know the whole story. Maybe you are just misunderstanding her and her memory, maybe that’s why you can’t stop dreaming of her. Maybe you need to give her a chance and listen to your best friend.” She gives me a stern look that tells me she isn’t letting this go. I roll my eye and groan.

  “Fine, but if I fall asleep and have another dream, I’m blaming you.” I lay back on my bed and close my eyes giving into her stupid game.

  “Deal. Now concentrate on the first dream.”

  I sigh and get comfortable against my bed. I was in Mrs. Andrews class, history. It wasn’t the first time I had fallen asleep in class, that had been going on for a while. I can’t pinpoint exactly when it started, but it was like one day I was fine and the next I stopped sleeping at night and started falling asleep anywhere and everywhere.

  I had dreams sure, but the computer lab with Jaxon was the first one I actually remembered, the first one that stuck. The rest just left me dazed and confused. It was like I knew I had dreamed a vivid dream, but I couldn’t remember it. Only a weird fog was left behind, leaving me dazed and feeling like I was stuck in déjà vu.

  “What do you see?” Sophie asks. I inhale and take my mind back to the dream, focusing on everything I remember before falling asleep, which isn’t much.

  “Mrs. Andrews, history, morning, tired, Sophie, overpopulation in China, the smell of peppermint, blue skies, ocean breeze, turquoise eyes, blonde hair, codes, Genesis, Phantom, waking up.” I open my eyes and stare at Sophie proving my point. “See, I hardly remember anything.” Her jaw hangs open as she stares at me in disbelief. “What?”

  “Did you not just hear yourself?”

  “Yes, I said Mrs. Andrews, history, morning, tired, the over population in China.”

  “No.” Sophie shakes her head. “You kept going, you said the smell of peppermint, blue skies, ocean breeze, turquoise eyes, blonde hair, codes, Genesis, Phantom, waking up.”

  I sit up in bed sure she’s gone mad. “I couldn’t have possibly said that. I mean I was just concentrating on my dream, on what I felt during it. I didn’t even think I was talking.”

  “It’s going on the board!” She jumps up and races to the board.

  I fall back onto my bed exasperated. “It’s just gibberish, don’t put it on the board.”

  “It’s not. It’s your subconscious, she’s speaking to us.” Chills run down my that cause me to shiver. The thought of my subconscious being its own being, of something or something else controlling my mind it’s too much for me.

  “Okay, next one. Young Jaxon at the park.”

  I hop off my bed and race for my door. “Um, actually I’m kind of hungry, want anything?”

  Sophie eyes me skeptically before answering. “Fine, a lemonade, but no stalling we need to get back to this while your subconscious is still roaming around up there.” She points her pen at my head and I bolt from the room unable to handle the odd creepy crawling sensation that’s overtaking me.

  I’m all of the sudden hyperaware that I might not be in control of my mind, of my life. That this all may somehow be fabricated or orchestrated. Is that possible? Can someone else control me? Can my mind overtake me? Or be overtaken? Can I really not be here?

  I squeeze my eyes shuts and fall back against the wall, sliding down to the floor. What if Riella isn’t a memory? What if she’s real, like a being, or a spirit trying to take over me? What if this whole thing is a ploy to take over?

  I pinch the bridge of my nose and take deep breaths. This is just a panic attack. That can’t happen. I’m irrational, irate, and sleep deprived. My mind is playing tricks on me. I’m in control. I’m in control. I’m in control. I’m real, this is real. Everything is real. Because if it’s not, then Riella is real and Riella can’t be real. I can’t let her be. She’s not a good person, I’ve seen it.

  “Are you sure about that, Riella?” I whip my head to the side looking for the person that voice belongs to, but no one is there. I’m all alone.

  “Who said that?”

  “I did.” The familiar voice grows louder.

  “Who are you? What do you want?” I get up and turn in
circles in the hallway, sure I can’t see whoever it is that’s talking. This is probably just Sophie playing a prank on me. As if on cue, I hear her singing off cue to the music in my room, not even aware that I’m having a mental break down in the hallway.

  “It’s not her, but you already knew that. I’m you, my dear. I’m your inner voice, you know the one that warns you of danger or helps you out of a difficult situation. It seems you’ve finally let me in. I’ve been kicking at the door for months.”

  “No. No. No.” I cradle my head between my knees and take in deep breaths. “I’m just sleep deprived. I’m not crazy. I can’t hear voices.”

  “You aren’t hearing voices, you’re hearing me, or yourself. However you want to look at it. I’m you, Riella Ledi.”

  “No. No. Just go away, just go away and leave me alone.”

  “I can’t dear, you’ve already let me in, now I’m here to stay. The next step is waking up.”

  “Get out of my head. Stop it! Stop talking to me!” Tears stream down my face as I realize I’m finally there, I’ve finally gone insane. I’m hearing voices, I’m insane. I’m mentally insane.

  “You aren’t insane, but you might as well be if you don’t wake up. Now stop focusing on the miniscule and look at the big picture!”

  I’m hurdled through space in the blink of an eye. Thrown from my house and into a place I don’t recognize. It’s dark here, all the lights have been turned off. Luckily the computer screen in front of me illuminates the workspace around me allowing me to adjust to the darkness.

  I’m standing in some sort of lab. It reminds me of the lab I was in with Jaxon, only this one is much more…technical. There are large machines with mechanical arms, odd looking tools and equipment, human sized pods and plenty of other advanced looking gadgets and gizmos I don’t recognize. It almost looks like some sort of test lab for robotics or sophisticated engineering.

  The place definitely has room for it with its gigantic floor plan and wide-open space. The darkness goes on forever around me, no walls within immediate sight. The ceiling is high and metallic, there are exposed wires and beams above my head. And big commercial lights that would definitely brighten up the room if I flipped the switch.

  I feel like I’ve entered some sort of science fiction movie surrounded by machines and equipment fit for an evil genius trying to build some sort of robotic army to end mankind.

  For some reason I, or Riella rather, is working in the dark. Fancy looking computer skeletons line the desk in front of me, upgraded with all sorts of enhancements I can’t even comprehend. My dream-self isn’t even fazed by what she’s seeing. It’s like this is normal to her, it’s like she sees this every day and even knows how to use this upgraded gizmo.

  Instead of gawking at her surroundings she’s typing vigorously on the computer keyboard. Her fingers flying over the gadget that looks more like a holographic touchscreen than a keyboard. There are screens popping up out of nowhere, that she proceeds to grab and manipulate by tossing them aside or pulling them closer and examining them. A couple she even moves to an icon on the fancy holographic desktop and they disappear.

  I watch the screen with disbelief my dream self and non-dream self in complete disarray. This has never happened to me. Usually I’m a victim of wherever my dream takes me, but this time it’s like I’m here in her body, but I’m also completely aware of everything around me and the fact that I’m not in control. Sort of like I’m watching from a first-person point of view.

  “What are you doing here so late, Riella?” A harsh feminine voice behind me sends a chill down my spine. Riella quickly dismisses the screen in front of her and turns to face the woman who has interrupted her. I’m surprised to see it’s the same blonde woman from my previous dream. The pretty one from the lab with the long legs and full perfectly pained on red lips that told me I was going on a trip. The same woman I wanted to kill; except I don’t have those feelings now. I’m not sure how I feel. They are sort of jumbled up inside of me; regret, sympathy, love, terror. Which is weird because the information from my last dream with her confirmed we are not friends in any way.

  I find myself even more confused as she comes closer into the limited light. She doesn’t look that much older than me right now. Twenty -three, twenty- four maybe. In that terrifying dream where I was strapped to the medical table, I was sure she in her thirties as she waltzed into the room with that authoritarian aura.

  Now I know that can’t be true…I didn’t see myself in that dream, but I know I wasn’t much older than this version of me. A year maybe, which means she’s only a year older too.

  Yet she looks so…aged. It was like something had worn on her, made her hard and aged her faster than she anticipated. She was frail, thin, and angry, currently she’s just angry.

  “Ryss, I didn’t expect to see you here. I thought you would be at the Capital for the meeting.” Ryss? I’m shocked by the words that leave my mouth. This is the same woman from the house? The teenager that accused me of murder? I knew those that silver blonde hair and icy blue eyes looked familiar, but I didn’t put it together. She’s so much different now. Sterner, distant, vengeful.

  “Yes, well, it was a bit too dull for me. I had to cut it short.” She looks apathetically at her fingernails before turning back to me. “Are you going to answer my question, Riella? What are you doing here so late?”

  “Oh, you know just getting a head start on things.” I force a chirper smile. “I know you wanted to deploy the program tomorrow and I didn’t want any more delays so I thought I’d come down here and check it again, test it for bugs and what not.”

  “How thoughtful.” Her full rep lips form into a tight smile. “You really have become such an asset to Phantom. It’s kind of poetic justice you working for me, a non-genesis, making my dreams come true. Who would have thought?”

  I hold a tight smile and nod. I don’t know who she’s putting a show on for, but we both know why I’m here. We both know I had no choice in this.

  “And convincing all your friends to join, you really have provided us with such invaluable data. You are all so helpful, always working together, spending late nights in the lab, colluding behind my back.” Her steely blue eyes cut right through me and for a split second I think all has been lost.

  Recovering quickly, I let out an unbelieving scoff. “Still paranoid I see. We aren’t doing anything but what you’ve asked, Ryss.”

  “Well I have to be; you’ve wanted to tear the very life I had away from me the minute you were born.”

  I let out an irritated sigh. I’m done playing this stupid game. I’m done dancing around whatever it is she’s dancing around. “I’ve been very cordial and cooperative this entire time, Ryss, if you want to ask me something then just ask me.”

  She rolls her eyes and walks past me into the main room where all the fancy looking equipment is. “You always were so self-righteous, Riella. I was wondering when I would get to see your true self come out to play. It’s been almost three months of playing nice. Had enough already?”

  “I was trying to be repentant, I thought you could see that. I’ve done everything you’ve asked.”

  She grazes her long, skinny fingers over one of the pods admiringly. “Yes, and you’ll continue to do just as I ask or I’ll spill the beans on your little secret, starting with your boy toy.” She juts her bottom lip out into a mock pout. “We wouldn’t want him thinking any less of his…what does he call you…Supergirl?”

  I swallow down the bile that pools in my throat. The bile that comes every time I think about that horrible day, the one that lead to her imprisonment. The one that left me with years of uncurable guilt. The day that changed everything.

  “I’m sorry.” I close my eyes and remind myself to hold my tongue. I still have to keep playing nice no matter how hard this has been on me. I have to behave at least until I find what I’m looking for. And then even after that I still owe her restitution, it was my fa
ult after all. I was the one who murdered her parents.

  “Whatever. It’s in the past. I’m focused on the future now.” She smiles down at a test model pod admiringly. “And this is the future Riella.”

  Something blinks green in my peripheral, I’ve got what I’ve come for. Keeping my eyes on her, I pull a small device from a slot in the desk and slip it into my jacket. “Of course. And we will help you accomplish all of your goals, I promise.” I force an innocent smile. “Anyways, I better get back to my dorm if I want to be here in the morning for deployment.”

  “Yes, we wouldn’t want you to miss it.” She gives me a condescending smile that tells me she doesn’t believe a word I’m saying. I nod and turn to leave walking swiftly to the exit.

  “Riella?”

  “Yes?” I turn to face her, my heart thundering anxiously in my chest. I’m about to get caught, she knows. She knows!

  “Don’t be a stranger. I’ve enjoyed this little talk of ours. Maybe we can do it again? We have a lot to catch up on after all. We haven’t had much girl time since you came on.”

  “That would be nice,” I lie, playing along.

  Her full rep lips curl into a wicked smile that churns my stomach. I force a calm and collected smile before turning and hurrying through the door. When I’m sure the coast is clear I sprint from the facility, darting through the lush lawn and over the city line. My legs don’t give up until I reach my destination. Huffing and puffing I pound frantically on the dorm door. The door swings open and his handsome, dazed face comes into view.

  “Ri?”

  “It’s worse than I thought.” I push past Jaxon into his and Ceres’ dorm.

  “What time is it?” Ceres mumbles groggily as he rubs his eyes and sits up in bed.