Losing Her (Lost and Found Book 1)

by K. S. Marshall

  Could I face him right now? I didn't know. I pressed the end button and set my phone down, thinking about the possibility of opening the door and seeing him on the other side.

  In the end, my feet carried me to the front door and I twisted open the door knob. He was sitting several feet from my front steps, on the ground. His legs spread open and his hands in a prayer pose against his face. I stepped onto the front porch into the blinding light and his head snapped up in my direction.

  The look on his face told me he was in pain too. That I wasn’t the only one suffering right now, and I didn’t know how to feel about it. He stood slowly, waiting for permission to come forward. I stepped back into the house, feeling my heart pounding against the chambers of my chest. I’d turned my back the front door, trying to get myself under control, when he stepped inside.

  The light dimmed as he gently shut the door behind him. I paused, realizing we were alone again for the first time since the party.

  My shoulders sagged and I lowered my head as I started to cry. He moved swiftly, closing the distance between us, kneeling in front of me.

  “Alina, please don’t cry,” he begged.

  “Why Derrick? I just don’t understand why.”

  “God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you,” he said, tears welling up in his eyes.

  Hearing him say those words hardened my heart. He didn’t love me. You didn’t hurt people you loved. He wouldn’t have lied to me for so long if he loved me.

  I took a step away from him, wiping my cheeks, “Tell me, what did you learn by following me?”

  He slowly rose to his feet, “What do you mean?”

  “Just what I asked. Did you get any interesting information on me while you were investigating and following me at Jason’s orders?” He stood there looking dejected, but he didn’t say anything, “Well? Or maybe he hired you to worm your way in and get in my bed? Maybe to further prove his point that I’m a dirty little slut who’ll fuck anything that gives me attention? You know that’s his narrative, right?”

  He winced and shifted uncomfortably, but still said nothing. His silence made my anger feel like fire in my veins. The sadness of the situation was diminishing as I thought about how we’d even gotten to this point in the first place.

  “I’ve been here for weeks, feeling horrible and upset that I’d been tricked into falling for you, and now I’m curious. How exactly did you find me and investigate me this whole time?”

  “You used your bank account and credit cards. After tracking your transactions to the town, I just waited. I followed you for a little while and we met at the cafe,” he said, his voice hollow and void of emotion.

  “And if I hadn’t spilled my drink and needed a ride home?”

  “I would’ve found another way to meet you,” he said, matter-of-factly.

  I shook my head and laughed, “Wow. Ok then. So after we met, then what? How did you keep tabs on me?”

  “I spent most of my time with you Alina,” he remarked, looking straight into my eyes.

  I nodded, “That is true. But what about when you weren’t with me? Like the night of Rosa’s party?” I asked, remembering how he’d stormed in and hauled me out of there.

  He exhaled looking uncomfortable, “Surveillance equipment.”

  My brows shot up, “Surveillance equipment?”

  “Yes.”

  “Elaborate,” I demanded.

  “Cameras and recording devices.”

  I was horrified and I was sure my expression communicated as much, “You have cameras on me?” The feeling of being violated was coming in stronger now.

  He took a deep breath, “Yes. They’re still installed, but I haven’t looked at them since before all of this happened.”

  “Where are they?”

  “Alina—“

  “Where are they, Derrick?” I interrupted.

  We stared at each other, neither one of us backing down. He was begging me to calm down and I was demanding him to come all of the way clean. I couldn’t believe he had cameras in my house. Surely, that violated some privacy law.

  “I was just doing my job,” he started, taking a step toward me.

  “Do not come any closer to me, unless you’re telling me where these cameras are. I can’t fucking believe this!” I shouted, turning and sitting on the couch.

  He watched me with the same wounded look on his face that he had sitting outside. When he realized I wasn’t going to change my mind, he sighed, “Fine.”

  I had to stop myself from getting up from the sofa seat when he started removing parts of my house and revealing the equipment. He’d placed them in light sockets, smoke detectors, behind portraits, in door jams. Everywhere. And all over the apartment. After about twenty minutes, there was a pile of wires and devices on my coffee table and he stood off to the side, visibly uncomfortable.

  “Was this necessary?” I asked him, still in shock that this was happening.

  “Jason’s instructions were to get as much information on you as possible.”

  “Well you did that!” I exclaimed, “You had a camera in my damn bedroom! Who saw all of this?”

  “Just me,” he said, looking into my eyes. I knew he was being sincere. Or at least I hoped he was.

  “Did you record us having sex?”

  “The videos were motion activated.”

  “I just..” Words escaped me. Before I was heartbroken and crushed. Now I was just mad. “You need to leave. You need to take all of this shit, these cameras and microphones and get out.”

  “Alina,” he started, taking a step toward me.

  I stood, “No. I never want to see you again. You are just like them. You are the kind of people I was running away from. Just leave.”

  “Please don’t do this,” he begged.

  I started to walk past him and up the stairs to my bedroom, but paused on the landing, “You know, you didn’t have to do this. I understand wanting to get rid of your wife. I understand needing to work. But you didn’t have to lie to me. Maybe at first, sure, but once we

  crossed that line, you didn’t have to keep going. I wouldn’t have said anything. I hope you get what you’re searching for, Derrick. I really do.”

  And I disappeared behind my bedroom door, just as the tears started to fall again.

  TWENTY-ONE | Derrick

  I had over two hours to contemplate how to have this conversation, but I was still coming up short. Somehow, I had to sit in Jason’s office, hand over all of the information I’d gathered on Alina, as well as the stuff I’d accumulated on the Prescott family, and possibly lose my contract. Mad was an understatement. But I was still nursing the wounds of having lost Alina.

  She meant more to me than any contract, even if it would save me from Lindsey and her wrath. In the short time I’d known her, she had become one of the most important things in my life. I hated that I lost her in the way I did. I thought back to what she had said before I left her house. About how I didn’t have to lie to her, that I could have told her the truth. All of it. Things could have been different now.

  And somehow I had to sit in front of the man who was responsible for taking Alina away from me and not bash his face in.

  Parking in front of the main house, I paused for a moment before grabbing my briefcase. Offering up a quick prayer for grace and guidance, as well as swift intervention so I didn’t lose my cool, I exhaled

  and exited the vehicle. Helga, the woman from before, answered the door.

  “Hello, Mr. Williams. Is the family expecting you?” she asked, opening the door wider to allow me entry.

  “No ma’am,” I answered, stepping through the door, “I’m here to meet with Jason. Is he in? They said he wasn’t at the publishing house.”

  She shook her head, “No sir, he’s not here. Shall I ring for Mr.

  Thomas?”

  “Sure, that’d be great. I’ll be in the library.”

&n
bsp; Helga walked off, leaving me standing in the foyer. Being familiar with the space, I ventured down the hallway toward the library. I found it strange that a few weeks ago, I was in this house with Alina, teasing and tantalizing her all over the place, and now being here again, without her, made me realize how much of a hole she had filled in my life.

  I settled into one of the chairs and waited. The picture of the family hanging over the fireplace stared down at me. I was looking at it, staring at the magnetic eyes of Alina, when Vivian walked in.

  “Derrick, how are you dear? What a lovely surprise.”

  I stood, smiling politely and kissed her on the cheek, “I’m well, ma’am. How are you?”

  She sat across from me, the same way we sat the first time I’d ever stepped foot in this room, “As well as can be expected,” she answered. She didn’t elaborate, but I knew she was referencing Alina’s second disappearance, “Are you here to see Thomas?”

  “I wanted to bring all of my work to Jason, but I’ve heard he’s not here or at the office.”

  “Oh, alright. Is this the stuff for the campaign or Alina?”

  “Both.” I opened up my briefcase and began pulling out file folders. Setting them out on the table between us, Vivian’s eyes widened taking in all of the information I had gathered.

  “You certainly did your homework,” she remarked, thumbing through a few folders.

  “I was just doing my job,” I said, remembering how I’d said that to Alina a week ago at her place.

  “Was?”

  “I assumed that after what happened I’d be losing my contract. I haven’t heard from Jason in over three weeks, so I figured that was my cue to exit.”

  Vivian set the folder she was holding down on the table and looked straight at me with her piercing black eyes. Another quality that reminded me of her daughter.

  “Derrick, we have no intentions of not seeing your contract through to the end. You are phenomenal at your job, clearly,” she indicated the folders spread across the table, “and you brought our daughter back into the family. We owe you immensely.”

  “Ma’am I appreciate all of that. My work means a lot to me and I don’t want to go. I do worry about how it could all work after everything with your daughter and the rocky relationship I have with Jason.”

  She smiled warmly at me, “We’ll make it work.”

  I sighed, “Alright then. I’m grateful to continue working for you and your family. I’ll be back here in town, working out of my condo and here as you need me.”

  “Here? I thought you’d still be working in Cold Spring,” she questioned.

  “I have no more surveillance on her, ma’am. I might have made things worse with her. She made me remove all of my equipment and

  told me she never wanted to see me again. I doubt she’ll ever forgive me. So I’m not sure I can be much help with her.”

  That realization hurt me all over again. I had royally fucked up and lost Alina, not just for myself but for her family as well. I couldn’t even say her name aloud anymore. But they had the information they needed on her in these files. They could easily go and visit her if they wanted.

  “Derrick, we don’t want to see you go. No matter what happened with Alina. We appreciate everything you’ve done for us and hope you’ll continue doing your very best.”

  I nodded as I spoke, “You have my word, Mrs. Prescott.”

  We both stood, but she walked around the table to stand at my side, “I had one question though. Something I was….curious about, to say the least.”

  The hairs on the back of my neck tingled nervously, “Sure…”

  “Do you love her? I thought I saw something between you two.

  Something that I’ve never seen from her. She seemed different while she was here. In a good way.”

  I felt a flush of embarrassment creep over me and I swallowed,

  “Yes, Mrs. Prescott. I love her. I fell in love with her and now I’m afraid I’ve lost her.”

  There was no point mincing my words to this woman. The biggest lesson I’d learned in losing Alina was to be as forthcoming as much as possible. There was no hope that she could help me, but having someone else know how I felt lifted a weight off my shoulders.

  She gazed at me with kind, but sad eyes. It was clear she understood how I felt and how recent events had hurt. She opened her arms, stepping closer to wrap them around me. I towered over her, but it was comforting nevertheless.

  “Don’t give up hope, young man. We’re rooting for you. I’m rooting for you.”

  I nodded solemnly and we said our goodbyes, promising to see each other soon. Since I didn’t have to be in Cold Spring anymore, I’d be a more prominent face around the compound. I had just stepped out of the house when I saw Jason get out of a black Mercedes. His deep blue suit was flawlessly tailored and I was instantly annoyed. I fully intended on walking around and ignoring him, but it was like he couldn’t help himself.

  “Tail tucked firmly today, Mr. Williams?” he said smoothly as I passed him.

  I whirled around, “You can’t just leave it alone, can you?”

  He slowly pulled off his glasses, “When it comes to getting my way, absolutely not.”

  “Fuck you Jason. Seriously, go to hell.”

  An amused expression colored his face, “I trust Alina has said those words to you as well?”

  Hearing her name come out of his mouth made my blood boil. I flew over to him, pushing him up against the shiny black car. My fist wrapped around his neck and I had him bent backward over the top of the sedan, my face inches from his.

  “Do not ever mention her name to me again. Or I swear to God, you will regret it,” I said menacingly.

  My hot ragged breaths beat down on him and all I wanted was to see his blood on my hands. I hated him. He’d single-handedly ruined nearly everything in my life. He’d taken Alina from me, revealed my whereabouts to Lindsey, and almost cost me my contract. He deserved to hurt as much as I did.

  For whatever reason, I saw her face in my head and released my grip on him. Dragging myself back, I grimaced, watching him stand

  and readjust his suit. I needed to get out of there and get a grip on controlling my anger. Jason pushed every single button trigger I had and it was going to cost me more than just my job if I couldn’t get it under control.

  Turning to walk away, I heard him mutter under his breath,

  “You’re going to pay for that.”

  TWENTY TWO | Alina

  Rivulets of sweat ran down the center of my back as I walked into the flower shop. The cool air felt wonderful on my heated skin and I paused just inside the door to take a deep breath. I was pushing myself today. Doing one more extra thing that would help me move forward.

  Rosa’s advice had been invaluable. It had taken some time, but I was starting to do more for myself and, in return, I was feeling better.

  Derrick and the whole debacle felt less and less like a painful reality and more like a memory as each day passed. I’d taken up running.

  Something I never saw myself doing for fun. Having just finished a run about thirty minutes prior, I swung by the market and picked up a few items and thought a fresh bouquet of flowers would be a nice touch to round out my afternoon.

  My favorite florist was behind the counter, cutting and designing one of his pre-made bouquets when I walked up to the front, “Tony!”

  “Alina!” he cried back, coming around the counter and engulfing me in a tight hug that lifted me onto my toes, “where have you been?”

  “Here and there. I’ve been a recluse lately.”

  He nipped me underneath the chin and went back around the counter, “Well I miss your smiling face in here every week. You must not have any sunshine in your life, not coming in here for fresh flowers anymore.”

  I laughed, “My neighbor made sure her staff brought flowers every week! They probably came in here.”

  “Ah well, good then! What are you in the mood for this week?”
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  I glanced around, examining a few of the flowers he had in the shop. My eyes fell on a bunch of zinnias in soft pink, bright orange, yellow and red, “How about those?”

  He followed my gaze and moved to pick up the arrangement,

  “These are gorgeous. I just made these earlier today. It must have been destined for you!”

  After wrapping up my purchase and chatting for a few more minutes with Tony, I walked back out into the sunshine, instinctively, looking around for the black truck I’d grown accustomed to searching for. Ever since finding out that Derrick was investigating me, I looked for him. Knowing that the cameras were gone from my house, anytime I walked outside, I searched for his car, secretly hoping to run into him again.