A Family's Heartbreak

by Kitty Neale

  ‘It’s freezing out there. Why have you only got one bar on the fire?’

  ‘What do you want, Lizzie?’

  ‘Nothing … I was passing so thought I’d pop in to say hello. Something smells nice. Are you baking for the kids again?’

  ‘Don’t pretend to be interested. What are you really doing here?’

  ‘Oh, Mum, why do you always think I’ve got an ulterior motive?’

  ‘’Cos I know you, Lizzie Lombard, so come on, out with it,’ Edith answered through pursed lips.

  Lizzie slung her coat over the back of an armchair and then plonked herself in it. ‘My chap has gone to see his mum today so I thought I’d pop in to see you.’

  ‘A likely story. More like you’ve come to rob off me again!’

  ‘I won’t ever do that again, Mum. I’m sorry, but I was desperate. I’m all right for money now, though … look,’ Lizzie said and reached into her handbag and pulled out a handful of notes. ‘I can pay you back.’

  ‘Huh, I can guess where you got that money from. No doubt you pinched it from your new chap.’

  ‘No, actually, I didn’t have to. Owen is very generous.’

  ‘Yeah, I bet he is and I can guess why!’

  ‘Oh, Mum, don’t be like that. It’s nice to be looked after for a change.’

  ‘How about looking after your children? Or are you gonna leave that up to Jenny?’

  ‘Give it a rest, Mum. Now I’m settled with Owen, I intend on seeing a lot more of my kids.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled about that,’ Edith said sarcastically.

  ‘If you’re gonna be like this, I may as well leave.’

  ‘Don’t let me stop you,’ Edith replied. She didn’t believe for one minute that her daughter would have more to do with her children, and until she did, Edith couldn’t bring herself to be nice to her.

  Once the door closed behind Lizzie, Edith shook her head and sighed heavily. Trouble always seemed to follow the woman wherever she went and she left a trail of devastation behind her. Edith blamed herself for her daughter’s behaviour. She’d done her best to raise the girl well but somewhere along the line she must have done something wrong. The only good thing to come out of her daughter’s life was the kids, especially Jenny.

  Edith heaved herself up from her chair and walked through to her bedroom. She sat on the edge of her bed and reached across to her dressing table. On a glass plate she had a matching trinket box, brush and hand-held mirror. Cecil had bought her the set as an anniversary gift, or more likely pinched it, but inside the trinket box was her mother’s wedding ring. She took it out and held the thin band of gold. She’d always worn it after her mother’s death but now it was too small to go over her swollen arthritic finger joints. She treasured the item dearly and thought back to the day when her mother had taken it from her finger and slipped it onto hers. In her last breaths, her mother had whispered, ‘I’m going now, but wear this and I’ll always be with you.’ She’d died then, and as Edith had held Lizzie, a crying baby in her arms, she’d shed her own heartbroken tears too.

  She didn’t have her own wedding ring. That had been lost at the wash baths years ago, but her mother’s was even more precious to her. She took a pad and pencil from her bedside drawer and wrote a well-thought-out note. Edith didn’t have much to pass on, but she wanted to ensure her mother’s wedding ring went to Jenny. Lizzie would probably sell it, not that it was worth much, but she knew Jenny would cherish it as she did.

  Chapter 27

  Gloria rolled over onto her back in the large double bed and lay spreadeagled across it. She was fed up and didn’t know what to do with herself. Hughie had only called in once during the week and had told her he was busy all this weekend. She’d thrown a little sulky tantrum, but Hughie said he was committed and couldn’t get out of it. Instead, he’d given her some money to treat herself. This had appeased her at the time, but now she felt frustrated. There was only so much shopping a girl could do.

  She sat up, threw her legs off the bed and went to look out of the window. All seemed quiet below, but Gloria could see the Saturday-morning hustle and bustle on the main road at the top of her street. She pursed her lips in thought. Shopping or death through boredom? She didn’t feel she had much of a choice, other than to pay her family a visit, but with Jenny and her grief that seemed even less appealing.

  Gloria wandered through to the kitchen and threw open the fridge door. The half-finished bottle of wine was still there. Hughie had explained that his sister and her friend had used the apartment in the knowledge that she’d be away, and though she hadn’t been happy about it, Gloria knew she had no choice in the matter.

  She reached for the wine bottle, pulled out the cork, then took three large gulps. The taste made her shudder, but she persevered and quickly swigged down more. ‘Cheers,’ she said aloud, then finished the rest.

  She left the empty bottle on the side and, feeling a little heady, sashayed into the sitting room, straight to the drinks cabinet. Hughie would tell her that it wasn’t good form to drink at this time of the morning, but Hughie wasn’t here. ‘Sod him,’ she slurred, and filled a large cut-crystal glass with brandy.

  She knocked back several mouthfuls, and for a moment thought she was going to be sick. The feeling passed, so she took a few more sips. The room was beginning to spin, and her vision became blurred. She’d never been drunk before and, having seen her father over-indulge over the years, the idea had never appealed to her. Now, though, she found she liked the feeling and poured herself another. ‘Whoopsie,’ she giggled as she spilt brandy on the highly polished mahogany cabinet.

  She swayed across the room with her glass in hand and switched on the gramophone. After a quick flick through the records, she selected Cliff Richard and the Drifters. It took several attempts, but she eventually managed to place the needle on the vinyl correctly and began dancing to the tune of ‘Living Doll’.

  ‘Sod you, Hughie,’ Gloria shouted over the music. ‘That’s what you think I am … your living bloody doll!’

  As the record came to an end, Gloria downed her drink and poured herself another. She slumped onto the sofa and held the expensive glass to her lips. ‘I bloody loves you, Hughie, but I don’t fink you feel the shame way,’ she slurred, and drank some more. Her eyelids felt heavy and once again she felt the urge to vomit. The glass slid from her hand as she tried to stand up. Her legs wouldn’t do what she wanted them to, and she fell back onto the sofa. Then the world turned into darkness and she faded into oblivion.

  ‘Are we going to see Gran today?’ Timmy asked as he ran into the kitchen, with Peter close behind.

  ‘Yes, but before we get ready to go, I want to talk to you,’ Jenny replied with her stomach in knots. She’d been feeling nauseous since she’d first woken and dreaded the conversation she was about to have.

  ‘Are we in trouble ’cos Peter broke the lampshade?’ Timmy asked.

  ‘No, nothing to do with that. Sit down, boys, and you too, please, Pam.’

  Jenny saw Peter give Timmy a sly punch on his arm and mouth the word ‘Grass’. Timmy responded by poking his tongue out at his brother.

  ‘I know you all really like living here, and I do too, but unfortunately we can’t afford to stay. My wages alone won’t pay the rent and bills,’ Jenny said, and took a deep breath. ‘So, I … I’ve sent a letter to Dad and told him we’re going to move back home, and before you get upset, I promise you it won’t be like it was before.’

  ‘But … but,’ Timmy began to say, his bottom lip quivering.

  Jenny interrupted, ‘Like I said, I promise you it won’t be like it was before. Dad really wants us to come home, and I honestly believe he won’t be as angry as he used to be. I realise none of you like the idea of moving back, but we have to.’

  Peter was pale, and Jenny saw that her sister was close to tears as she fled the room.

  ‘Pamela …’ Timmy shouted after her.

  ‘It’s all right, lea
ve her be,’ Jenny said quietly.

  ‘But Dad might hit you again,’ Peter said.

  ‘He won’t,’ Jenny assured him.

  ‘When are we going?’ Timmy asked.

  ‘Next weekend.’

  ‘Can we take the seesaw Craig made us?’ Timmy asked.

  ‘I expect so.’

  ‘Can we go outside and play on it now?’ Peter asked.

  ‘Yes, darling, but put your coats and hats on,’ Jenny answered, pleased that they didn’t appear overly upset by the news. It hadn’t been easy to tell them, and she’d expected much more protesting than they’d displayed. That just left Pamela, and she knew her sister was going to take a lot more convincing.

  Later that day, Jenny arrived at her gran’s flat and was both surprised and disappointed to find her mother there. Timmy was the first to run in, closely followed by Peter. They looked pleased to see her and squealed with delight as Lizzie hugged them. Jenny on the other hand didn’t share in her brothers’ joy, and Pamela even less so.

  ‘What are you doing here again?’ Jenny asked.

  ‘I popped in hoping to see you all,’ Lizzie answered, then turned her attention to her boys. ‘Hey, look at you two, I think you’ve grown a couple of feet! Oh my, you’re so handsome,’ she cooed as she cupped each of their faces in turn and kissed their cheeks. ‘Your gran’s been baking, and she’s got some delicious scones for you.’

  Lizzie walked through to the lounge with a child on each hand and Edith beamed at the sight of her grandchildren. Jenny thought it was sad that her gran never looked at her mum in that way, but Edith didn’t make any secret of her disapproval of her mum walking out on them.

  ‘Lizzie, make a pot of tea,’ Edith ordered, ‘and you boys, come and give your gran a kiss.’

  Timmy and Peter both planted a quick peck on their gran’s face, then followed their mum as she ambled through to the kitchen. Jenny could see that their noisy chatter went over their mother’s head and thought it a shame that she didn’t take much interest in them.

  With the room now quiet, she whispered to her gran, ‘How come she’s here again?’

  ‘Gawd knows. She turned up the other day and all. I reckon she just wants to show off how rich her new bloke is. She’s been throwing a bit of money around and even paid back what she robbed off me.’

  ‘Oh, right. While the boys can’t hear, I wanted to tell you that we’re moving back to Dad’s next weekend.’

  Her mum came back into the lounge and smiling, said, ‘Really? That’s nice, love.’

  ‘It isn’t what any of us want, but with Craig gone I can’t afford the rent on the house. I don’t like saying this, Mum, but when we’re back at Dad’s, please don’t come to see us.’

  ‘Leave it out, Jenny. I know you’re all grown-up now, and Pamela isn’t a kid any more, but I want to see my boys.’

  ‘I can bring them to see you, or meet you on the common, but please, don’t come to Dad’s house.’

  ‘Why should I stay away? It was my house too and my name’s still on the rent book.’

  ‘I know, but Dad gets funny whenever you turn up and he used to take it out on us. I don’t want to risk that happening again.’

  ‘He’s got that Audrey living with him now, so I don’t see why my visits should upset the apple cart.’

  ‘I’d rather not take the chance. Please, just stay away, for a while at least.’

  ‘Yeah, all right, but don’t you go bad-mouthing me to the kids. In fact, if they ask why I haven’t been to see them, you can tell them it’s because you told me not to,’ her mother answered is a hissed whisper.

  Jenny nodded, relieved that her mum hadn’t argued too much and said quietly, ‘Thanks.’

  Her brothers walked in, Timmy carrying a fruit cake on a plate.

  ‘Can we stay with you, Mummy?’ Peter asked.

  ‘Yeah, can we?’ Timmy repeated.

  ‘Jenny said we’re going back to Dad’s house and I don’t want to!’ Peter added with his bottom lip stuck out.

  ‘Are you sure about this, Jenny?’ her gran asked, sounding worried.

  ‘Yes, but it’s going to be all right this time,’ Jenny assured her.

  ‘Can we stay with you, Mummy?’ Timmy asked again.

  Jenny wished her mother hadn’t been here, today of all days. It was only going to upset the boys and now she regretted visiting.

  Her mother appeared nonchalant as she answered her children, saying, ‘No, darling, I’m sorry but you can’t. It just isn’t convenient at the moment.’

  Convenient! Her own children were an inconvenience! Jenny shot a look at her gran who looked equally irate. She hoped her gran wouldn’t say anything though as it would only upset the boys.

  ‘Can we live with Gran then? We all used to live upstairs in Craig’s flat and that’s the same size as Gran’s,’ Timmy pleaded.

  ‘I know, but you can’t expect your gran to share her bedroom with all of us,’ Jenny answered.

  ‘But me and Peter could sleep in here,’ Timmy said.

  This time, her mother answered. ‘There really isn’t room for your gran, Pam and Jenny in that one small bedroom. It wouldn’t be fair on your gran either. She’s old and frail and needs her peace and quiet.’

  Edith leaned forward in her armchair. ‘Bleedin’ cheek!’ she protested. ‘I may be getting on a bit, but I ain’t frail! One small fall and you’re writing me off to the knacker’s yard.’

  ‘Sorry, Mum, but you know what I mean. You couldn’t cope with them all and anyway, they’re better off in their own home with their father.’

  Her gran lowered her head for a moment, and then it was clear that she wanted a private word when she said, ‘Jenny, I’ve got a pot of jam in one of the cupboards to have with that cake, come and help me look for it.’

  Once in the kitchen, her gran lowered her voice and said, ‘You don’t have to move back in with him. You can come here. You all managed upstairs so I’m sure we could down here.’

  ‘Thanks, Gran, but Mum’s right. It would be too much and honestly, things will be different this time at home, I’m sure of it.’

  ‘I think you’re making a grave mistake, but it’s up to you. I just want you to know you’re always welcome here so if you change your mind, the offer is there.’

  Jenny gave her gran a gentle hug. ‘Thanks, but this is for the best.’

  As they walked back into the front room, her mum announced, ‘I nearly forgot, I’ve got something for you all,’ and opened her handbag. She handed Peter, Timmy and Pamela a five-pound note each, then said, ‘And before you ask, yes, you’ll still be getting Christmas presents.’

  Pamela accepted the money with a small smile but didn’t say anything. The boys looked at each other, then back at the money. ‘Thanks, Mum,’ Timmy exclaimed. ‘We’re rich, Peter!’

  ‘This is for you, Jenny,’ Lizzie said, and gave her two ten-pound notes.

  ‘Twenty pounds!’ Jenny exclaimed. ‘How on earth can you afford to give me this much?’

  ‘Off her fancy man no doubt! Just make sure you spend it on yourself, for a change,’ Edith answered.

  ‘I … erm …’ Jenny said.

  ‘Just put it in your bag and be done with it,’ her mum urged.

  ‘All right, and thank you,’ Jenny answered, surprised.

  Timmy and Peter were busy discussing what they were going to spend their money on. Whilst they were distracted, Jenny watched her sister’s face fall as their mum approached the small table where Pamela was sitting. She pulled out a chair and asked, ‘Are you all right?’

  Pamela nodded.

  ‘You’re very quiet … are you sure you’re OK?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Are you looking for another Saturday job?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Her mother looked frustrated at Pamela’s unresponsive conversation, then asked, ‘How’s school?’

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘Are you doing anything nice this weekend?’

>   ‘Yes, me and my friend Linda are going to Streatham ice rink.’

  ‘Blimey, you wouldn’t get me balancing on a thin bit of metal, but it sounds fun. Be careful, you don’t want to be falling over and bruising that pretty face.’

  Pamela nodded, and Lizzie turned to Jenny.

  ‘How’s Gloria?’ she asked.

  ‘She’s a housekeeper in a fancy apartment in Holborn.’

  ‘Good for her! She was wasted in that Queenie’s shop. How did she come to be living up town?’

  ‘She’s got herself a fella from a wealthy family and he set it up. She seems happy, though I don’t like the idea of her –’ Jenny lowered her voice ‘– you know … sometimes being alone with him in the house.’

  ‘Oh, Jenny, stop being such an old mother hen. People don’t worry about that sort of thing any more.’

  ‘Yes, they do,’ Edith said firmly.

  ‘Maybe your generation do, but youngsters nowadays have much more freedom.’

  ‘Don’t kid yourself, Lizzie. If Gloria gets herself in the family way and she’s not married, she’ll be ostracised around here.’

  Jenny didn’t think this was an appropriate conversation to have in front of her brothers and jumped in to change the subject. ‘You’ve met her, Mum. What’s Audrey like?’

  ‘Quiet, like a little mouse. She does as your father tells her and, don’t say I said anything, but she’s got dodgy eyes. I was sitting at the kitchen table and I didn’t know if she was looking at me or watching the kettle boil.’

  Her mother laughed but Jenny noticed her gran throw her a stern look and her mum quickly added, ‘She seems nice enough though.’

  After an hour, their bellies full of cake, Jenny said they should go. Peter ran across the room and jumped onto their mum’s lap to wrap his arms tightly around her neck. ‘Can’t we stay longer?’ he whined.

  ‘No, darling, but I’m going as well now,’ she told him.

  ‘I wanna stay,’ Peter wailed.

  ‘Now then, there’s no need for that racket,’ Edith told him.

  Peter sniffed and quietened down. He never back-chatted their gran and thankfully Jenny managed to get them to leave without any further objections.