Dying Assassin

by Joyee Flynn

  "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Ryder sobbed, holding onto me for dear life. "I don't mean to be so screwed up."

  "You're not screwed up, Ryder," Luc said softly, kneeling on the other side of him. "A few months of love won't undo years of abuse and being treated like shit."

  "We know you still have nightmares," I added, hoping it was the right time to bring it up. "Let us help you, baby. Don't hide it from us; we love you."

  Ryder sniffled as he nodded against my chest. Luc and I peppered him with soft kisses as he finally started to calm down. "Were you serious about not having sex with me?"

  "Yes," I answered carefully, not wanting to set him off again. I was pretty sure we'd opened up enough of his old wounds so they'd start to heal the right way for the day.

  "I know you guys love me, really love me," he said quietly. "I just don't understand it. Does that make sense?"

  "In a way," I replied, moving so I could sit on my butt before my feet fell asleep. "You think we're seeing something that's not real, and when we do see you as you really think you are, we'll leave you."

  "Yes," Ryder whispered, burying his face in my neck. "That's exactly how I feel."

  "The reality is you don't see yourself for who you really are," I said. Luc gave me a look and gestured that he was going to leave us alone again. I nodded in agreement, realizing that it might be better for Ryder if he didn't feel we were ganging up on him. "I've never lied to you, baby. You're just going to have to trust me."

  "I do trust you, Spence," he replied, moving so he could look into my eyes. "I'll try. I promise I will really try to see what you see in me. Please don't take away us having sex though. You make love to me; I know it's not just a good quick fuck to you. And I love how you can't keep your hands off me. Please don't stop that."

  "If you promise to tell me when you have nightmares and what they're about, I won't cut off our sex life," I answered, agreeing with what he said. "And I think maybe you should try talking to someone about what happened to you."

  "Actually, I've been thinking about confronting my parents," he admitted. I was proud of him for not keeping that in. Ryder was great at being the happiest one in the room, making sure everyone was always joking and smiling. But sometimes I saw it was fake and that he was hurting, keeping it all inside.

  "If that's something you want to do, I'll support you," I said, leaning over and kissing him. "But no more hiding nightmares or if you're sad. You'd be pissed if I hid that from you."

  "Yeah, I would." He sighed. "I just didn't want to burden you."

  "Instead I've been worrying that there was something I wasn't giving you that you needed," I answered honestly.

  "No, you give me everything I need and more," he whispered against my lips. He kissed me then, melting against my body. And as only Ryder could do, it felt as if we were one then. When he gave himself over to me like this, I couldn't tell where he ended and I started. I delved into his sweet mouth, running my tongue over his. And then I had an idea.

  "Claim me, Ryder," I said gently as we parted. "Mark me as yours and make love to me."

  "What?" He gasped, leaning back to look into my eyes.

  "I've marked you, but I'm yours just as much as you are mine," I answered, praying this is the right step to take.

  "Yes," Ryder hissed, smiling widely as he rubbed his hard cock against my stomach. He crawled off my lap and went over to his jeans. I watched as he fished in the pockets, pulling out a small bottle of lube. We smiled at each other before I turned around, getting on my hands and knees. I pulled my legs under me, spreading them as wide as they would go and presented my ass to him.

  "I love you, Ryder," I moaned as I felt his slicked fingers rub against my hole. He pushed in two fingers to start off, knowing I liked the burning sensation. It felt fantastic as I started pushing back onto his hand. "Give me a third, baby."

  "Anything my big man wants," Ryder giggled as he thrust in a third one. He wiggled them all around, stretching me out for several moments. And almost as quickly as they were inserted, he pulled them back out. I felt fur against my ass as he shifted. Seconds later, the head of his cock was pushing into my ass. "Oh god, this is fantastic."

  "I was thinking the same thing." I chuckled, taking a deep breath as he worked his dick into me. Ryder started thrusting into me, pushing farther into me each time until he finally bottomed out. "I feel so full."

  "I love you, Spencer Fallon," he purred, licking the side of my neck. In wolf form we were almost the same height, so he could reach me there.

  "I love you, Ryder Jenkins," I replied, looking over my shoulder at him. "And I always will. No one can replace my baby."

  "Good, because this ass is mine," Ryder growled as he thrust forward. Since I was normally the one who topped, it was a whole new array of sensations. Add to that, Ryder's dick was much larger in wolf form.

  "Give it to me, baby." I grunted as he pounded into my ass. His balls were smacking against mine so hard I felt it through my entire groin. I moaned wildly as I pushed back, meeting him as hard as I could.

  "Mine," Ryder snarled before sinking his teeth into my neck. I screamed at the pain/pleasure that overwhelmed me as my orgasm swam over me like a tidal wave. My cock exploded, shooting stream after stream of cum all over the floor. Just when my orgasm started to subside, Ryder roared out behind him, filling my ass with his seed. The stream was so forceful, I was surprised it didn't shoot me off of him.

  The knot extended off his cock, latching onto my prostate and spinning me into another climax. Dropping my head down, I saw how much cum came out of my dick again. I was thinking that I didn't know I had that much in my sac as lights started bursting behind my eyes.

  "I love you, my Spence," Ryder panted, sounding far away as I blacked out.

  CHAPTER 5

  Later that afternoon I was outside working on the barn. Dean had taught us how to look for warped boards and pull them off without damaging the foundation, which was still in good shape. We needed to remove all the bad wood, replace it, and treat the whole barn before the winter. Or we were looking at building a whole new barn in the spring, since the barn in its current shape couldn't withstand another harsh South Dakota winter.

  I was enjoying the odd heat wave we were having for this end of October, working in nothing but running shorts. Lost in my thoughts, I used the crowbar to pry off another board. Then I grabbed it and yanked it out, glad for my werewolf strength. It really did come in handy when dealing with any manual labor.

  Ryder and Luc were studying while Ethan took a nap in the guest room. Dean and Ethan had had a long talk, getting the rest of the details about how Ethan ended up on our doorstep with a gun. After that, Dean had filled me in on the rest while Ethan lay down. I felt sorry for the man, I really did. But did that mean I was forced to save him?

  On the other hand, could I just let Ethan leave here knowing what he'd face back on the east coast? He was going to die, but even more than that, he would have to go back and face Greg. I knew the whole situation wasn't my fault, but I couldn't help feeling bad that he'd been dragged into our mess. The whole thing was just so overwhelming. I had so many thoughts swirling around in my brain I swear I felt like I was losing my mind.

  And why were the decisions always up to me? Everyone said they were fine with whatever I decided, but that left the final call to me. What if I made the wrong choice and fucked up our family? But then if I said no, I was essentially sending Ethan off to his death. Then again, I wasn't god, why should I get to chose if he lived or died?

  Suddenly full of anger, I threw the crowbar as hard as I could. I watched it sail through the air and smash into the side of the garage. Cringing, I saw I'd just taken off one of the doors, part of a wall, and the bumper of our SUV.

  "Want to talk about it?" Dean asked, startling me. I spun around to see him leaning against the side of the barn, arms crossed over his chest with a raised eyebrow.

  "Yes. No, I don't know. Fuck!" I yelled, running my fingers
through my hair and pulling on it. "I don't know what to do, Dean."

  "About Ethan?" he asked gently. I nodded, closing my eyes for a moment before seeing his sympathetic look. "Just do whatever you feel is best, Spence."

  "That's just is, I don't know what's best." I exclaimed, throwing up my arms. "And why do I have to make the choice? I always have to make the decisions."

  "How can we tell you what to do on this one?"

  "What the fuck does that mean?" I asked, getting pissed by his calm demeanor.

  "How could any of us tell you 'no, don't do this', when it's exactly what you did for each of us?" he answered, pushing off the barn. I watched him walk to me, thinking about what he'd said. "You gave each of us another chance at life, Spence. We can't tell you not to do it for someone else."

  "But that's not the same as telling me you want me to save Ethan," I said, completely defeated. "I understand what you're saying, but this affects all of us, it shouldn't just be up to me."

  "Would it really help if I told you to turn him?"

  "I don't know," I answered honestly. "I just don't think it's fair that I have to make this decision alone. What if I pick the wrong thing? Then it's completely on me for having destroyed our family."

  "No matter what you choose, Spencer, we'll work it out. If something happens to our family, it won't be from one decision," Dean said, wrapping his arms around me. "I don't think any of us could live with ourselves if we sent Ethan away knowing he will die. That's what we all mean when we say it's up to you. We'll support you either way, but I think we all know what you're going to decide."

  "I don't want to decide, I don't want to be in charge," I whispered against his neck. "I want someone else to take over and make some decisions for me."

  "You want to give up control right now, don't you?" he asked, running his hands over my back. I nodded, holding onto his waist. "You don't want to think about this right now, because you're going nuts and throwing things?"

  "Exactly," I answered, holding him tighter.

  "Then get on your knees and suck my cock; that will distract you." Dean growled so forcefully it made me shiver. He pushed down on my shoulders, and I dropped to the ground. I stared up at him with wide eyes as he gave me a feral grin and unzipped his jeans. He pulled out his massive cock and slapped me in the face with it. "I'm in charge now, and I want you to blow me."

  I smiled up at him, realizing he was playing Dom with me. Ryder and Luc had done this with me a few times when I'd been overwhelmed with making decisions for all of us. It helped me to sometimes let go and just do what I was told. I opened my mouth for him as he stuck his dick in my mouth. Dean groaned loudly as I licked around his huge mushroom head. He threaded his fingers in my hair as he thrust into my mouth.

  I gave all my control over to Dean as he started to fuck my mouth. He moaned as I sucked on him, and I was happy to please my man. And it worked, I wasn't thinking about Ethan or whether to turn him anymore. I was completely focused on giving everything I had to Dean. Grabbing onto his thighs for balance, I swallowed down every inch of him.

  "Stand up and brace yourself against the barn," Dean ordered after another few moments. I immediately complied, sticking my ass out at him. He tore off my shorts, leaving me standing there completely naked. I looked at him over my shoulder as he pulled a tube of slick out of his jeans pocket.

  "Don't stretch me, just fuck me. I want to feel the pain," I begged as he squirted some lube on his fingers. He glanced at me, stuffing the slick back into his pocket. His slicked fingers ran over the crack of my ass as he smacked my butt hard with his other hand.

  "Shut up and take what I give you, Spence. I'm in charge now," he replied. I nodded and moaned as he rubbed his fingers over my hole. He rewarded me by pushing two fingers into my tight ass. I gasped at the pain, digging my nails into the wood of the barn. As soon as he started moving them around, the pain turned into vast pleasure. "Just let go and enjoy it."

  "Yes." I hissed as he thrust another finger into me hard. Dean stretched me out quickly, and I let my head drop forward as he removed his fingers. Seconds later, I felt the head of his cock pushing against me.

  "I love you, Spence," he whispered against my neck as he pushed his large dick into me.

  "I love you too, Dean." I moaned, closing my eyes and letting the sensations run over me. With one hard thrust that had me screaming, Dean bottomed out inside of me. He wrapped one arm around my chest as the other hand held my hip.

  "This ass is mine, isn't it, Spencer?" Dean hissed as he slowly pulled out of me.

  "Yes, all yours," I answered, grunting when he shoved right back into my ass. Since I was a big guy, it wasn't often that I felt safe and protected with a lover. But Dean was even bigger than I am, surrounding me with his body as he fucked me. There wasn't anything else to say as he pounded into my ass. I raised my head and leaned it back onto his shoulder, loving the feel of him against me. "I love the way your cock feels inside of me."

  "I love the way your ass wraps around me," Dean replied. He reached down and started stroking my dick in time with his thrusts. Moments later, I was ready to explode. I wrapped one arm back around his hip as I cried out, shooting my cum all over the barn. "Come for me, my love."

  "Oh god, Dean." I screamed, dazzled at the heights of pleasure he was taking me to. Dean roared out behind me, filling my ass up with his release. He kept pounding into my ass, still stroking my cock and drawing out both of our orgasms. When I started to come back down from my climax, I reached back and wrapped my arms around his neck. I held him tightly to me, not wanting to get back to reality just yet.

  "You know the answer already, Spence. We all do. It's why we're not pushing you one way or the other," Dean whispered against my neck, peppering me with kisses. "You wouldn't be the man we love if you could let Ethan walk away and not help him."

  "Thank you," I said, closing my eyes. I finally got what he had been trying to tell me. There really wasn't a decision to make. Not one that I could make and still live with myself. It seemed we were going to add someone to our family, and I was just the last to realize it.

  * * * *

  After Dean and I were done, we headed into the house through the garage to check out the damage I'd done. I shook my head as I pulled out a pair of lounge pants from the dryer as we walked into the laundry room. He continued into the house laughing as I yanked them on.

  "You guys get everything settled?" Ryder asked as I entered the kitchen. He was dancing while chopping vegetables for a salad. I watched for a moment, mesmerized by his swaying hips and ass before answering.

  "Yeah, I've got a few things to fix in the garage," I answered sheepishly.

  "You think?" Luc chuckled, smiling at me as he set the kitchen table for dinner. Dean gave Ryder a firm smack on the ass and kissed his neck before stealing a carrot.

  "Cut that out or no lasagna for you," Ryder playfully chided Dean.

  "You made lasagna?" I asked, feeling myself start to drool. Ryder was a fantastic cook, and he knew lasagna was one of my favorites.

  "Yes and the breadsticks you like," he answered, giving me a wink. "I thought you could use a pick-me-up with everything going on."

  "I don't deserve you," I purred, wrapping my arms around him from behind.

  "Yes, you do," Ryder said firmly, glancing up at me. "You okay now?"

  "Yeah, Dean set me straight," I replied, kissing the top of his head.

  "By shoving my cock in your ass." Dean chuckled, giving Luc a hand.

  "We missed you giving up control?" Luc asked, pouting. "I like when that happens."

  "I need it more than I think I can admit," I said honestly.

  "Well, next time you need to, we have a surprise for you," Ryder replied. He wiggled his ass against my groin as he went back to work. "The council decided on Ethan, he's in."

  "In what?" Ethan asked quietly from the doorway. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I didn't want to interrupt."

  "You're fine, Etha
n," Dean said, walking over to the man. "How did you sleep?"

  "Very well, thank you," he replied softly. "I'm still not sure why you're all being so nice after I tried to kill Spencer."

  "Ethan, you didn't try to kill me," I said, watching as Dean hugged the small man. "You hadn't even gotten the gun out yet."

  "You know what I mean," Ethan replied, tears filling up his eyes. "I was sent here to kill you, Spencer."

  "But you didn't, and I don't think you could have," I stated with conviction, then turned to look at my men. "We're all in agreement then?"

  "Yeah, we're in," Dean said, hugging Ethan protectively to him. The one-eighty Dean had done regarding the smaller man would almost be amusing if the circumstances weren't so dire. I felt Ryder nod in my arms as I saw Luc do the same.

  "Okay, then let's eat and discuss it," I replied, kissing the top of Ryder's head again before taking the big bowl of salad to the table. I took my seat as Luc grabbed beers for everyone. Once we were all situated and started eating, I figured there was no time like the present. "What do you see happening next, Ethan?"

  "I go back and face Mr. Payton's wrath." Ethan shrugged, not looking up at any of us. "That is if you don't turn me over to the cops."

  "What if there was another option?" Dean asked gently, reaching out and putting his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "Would you rather stay here with us?"

  "And do what?" Ethan answered softly, staring at Dean. "You guys are all really nice and I like you. Especially you, Dean, but I'm dying. I couldn't put you through that."

  "What if you didn't have to die?" Ryder asked, glancing at Ethan than me.

  "I don't think it's very nice to tease me about that," Ethan said, anger in his voice. "I know I'm a dick for coming here to try and save my family, but picking on me for being sick isn't cool."

  "We're not picking on you, Ethan," I replied, deciding just to bite the bullet. "We're different than other people, and we could save you."

  "How?" he asked, scrunching his eyebrows together. I gave Ryder a nod, since he was the only other one who could fully control his shift. Ethan watched us with wide eyes as we stood and undressed. As soon as we were naked, we both shifted. "Okay, so you're werewolves."