Flip My Life

by Jennifer Foor

  It occurs to her that she knows little about his life, other than him being in the Marine Corp. She knows that’s going to have to change if he’s planning on being a part of Tyler’s life. Eventually they’ll need to make rules together and figure out how to co-parent. It’s all new to Clarke. She’s never has to ask permission or consort with anyone regarding her son, until now.

  Animosity overwhelms her as she stands there waiting to be noticed. It’s not long before Eli adjusts and sees her shadow. He turns abruptly, his shoulders rising as he takes her in. “Come to beg for forgiveness?”

  “Is that what it’s going to take?” She questions.

  He lets out a guffaw with the shake of his head. “I don’t know. At this point I really don’t.”

  “I can say I’m sorry until I’m blue in the face. It won’t change the fact that we have a son; a beautiful, bright little boy, Eli. I wanted to tell you about him. Seeing you again, learning about why you left, it all took precedence over the topic of Tyler. You’re still reeling over your dad’s death, and then worried about Jonathan. I didn’t want to put more on your plate until I knew you could handle it. He’s not some random kid. I’ve done my best to shelter him from my problems. He’s finally found a good role model in Tim. We’re about to get married. I just needed more time.”

  “What about the time wasted that I’ll never get back with him? What about your whole pregnancy? Feeling him move inside of your belly, being in the room when you delivered. I’ll never get that back. You took that from me and so much more. I would have stayed for him, for you, Clarke. Siobhan’s lies stripped me of everything. I have to live with that. I have to wake up every single day and know I wasn’t there for you. How do you think it makes me feel?”

  Clarke shrugs. “Tell me what to do, Eli.”

  “Let me be a father to my son. Give him my damn name for starters.”

  Before Clarke can begin to think of how it will affect Tim, she replies, “done”.

  “Just like that?”

  Clarke tries to keep her eyes on Eli’s face, but they keep wandering over his broad bare chest. “I said I’d do anything. Hurting you wasn’t intentional. I really was planning on telling you.”

  “How is your fiancé taking all of this?”

  She shrugs. “He’s pretty neutral. He hates to see me sad, but he says it’s your right to want to be a part of Tyler’s life. The thing is, I never would have kept him from you. All I’ve ever wanted was for him to know his father; for him to have a dad.”

  “Well he does now. I told my ex I’m not going back to Louisiana, and I’m not going to flip this house. I’m going to fix it up and make sure both of my kids have a place to stay with me.”

  “Both of your boys,” she says out loud to remind herself that it’s not just Eli, but now Jonathan too. Tyler may never speak to her again. Even a five year old will need someone to blame. “How are you going to tell them?”

  “First I need to make sure I have the test results back on Jonny, but after seeing your son, I mean, our son, it’s sort of unreal. They could be brothers.”

  “Well, they probably are.”

  He snickers. “Like I said, unreal. I still can’t wrap my head around it. I’m angry. I’m hurt. But I’m also so damn excited. I’ve been alone and felt like I was missing out for a long time. Coming home, seeing you again, learning about the boys, it’s all given me reasons to stay.”

  Clarke reaches out and takes Eli’s hand. “You should have never left.”

  Eli looks down before asking something that makes Clarke uncomfortable. “So this Tim guy, do you love him?”

  She half shrugs. “Well, yeah. Why would you ask me that?”

  “I just wanted to know if he’s going to cause a bigger problem.”

  “He’s understanding. I don’t think you have to worry about him.”

  “I’m not worried about him, Clarke. I’m worried for him. It’s going to suck once you realize that you’re still in love with me.”

  “Eli,” she announces with a surprised tone to her voice.

  “Don’t deny it. I knew the moment I saw you again.”

  “Please don’t do this.” She backs away.

  He takes a step toward her. “Don’t get married, Clarke. Help me sort this out. At least see if there’s something worth fighting for between us. We were robbed of our chance once, but fate wasn’t done with us. We made a child. That boy, he’s every part of my love for you. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about me every single time you looked into his eyes.”

  She turns her body to shield him from seeing her reaction. She’s uncomfortable, but not because he’s pushing her to admit things she doesn’t feel. It’s because he might be right. “I can’t just end my relationship with Tim because you’re curious. Eli, I’m happy. He’s a good man.”

  “Okay.” His hands go up. “I won’t push, but if you come to change your mind, make sure I’m the first to know.”

  Eli picks up the nail gun and starts back on his task, as if to say he’s done with the conversation. Clarke places her hands on her hips and waits for the air compressor to shut off. “What are you doing Saturday?”

  “Hopefully spending time with our son.”

  She’s not used to hearing Eli refer to Tyler as theirs. It may take some getting used to. “I’ll bring him over around noon. I’m not trying to push you, but you might want to spend some time with him first before he meets Jonathan. I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

  “Understood.”

  “Ok. So does this mean you’ll call off your lawyer?”

  “I’ve only had a consultation. I was holding out hope that you’d change your mind and come to your senses. I guess I still know you.”

  “It seems so.”

  “You sure you’re going to be able to handle seeing me so much?”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  He shakes his head. “No. I’m just worried you’re going to realize you’re with the wrong guy. Then it’s going to suck for you.”

  Clarke shoos him as she turns to walk out. She doesn’t want to smile. In fact she should be annoyed. He’s gotten under her skin. He knew she’d come to him and she played right into his hand. It doesn’t help that she stares at him like a hungry wild animal. He frustrates her like no other, and just when she thinks she can conjure up a reason to hate him, she falls for his charm all over again.

  Chapter 21

  Eli asked the person he knew for a rush on the paternity test. After overnighting the samples, he gets the call on the seventh day. Just as he suspected, he’s the father. Even though it proves what he already knows in his heart, it’s only the beginning of a long up road battle with Siobhan. She’s going to use every resource possible to keep Eli from sharing custody. She probably thought once she got rid of Eli’s dad she would have the boy all to herself.

  The next time Siobhan brings Jonny over to visit, which happens to be the night before he’s to meet Tyler, he confronts her. Waiting until Jonny isn’t in the room, he asks her to take a seat. She sits on the couch that has finally been positioned in the newly finished living room. Her legs cross and she flashes him an inquisitive stare. “What’s this about?”

  He takes the envelope with the results inside and hands it to her, while he stands and waits for her reaction. Siobhan looks at it for a brief second and hands it back. “So tell me something I don’t already know.”

  “I’m telling him the truth. I don’t care how you spin how it happened. Tell him I donated sperm so you and dad could have a baby. I know he’s too little to understand, but he’ll learn when he’s older and won’t question it.”

  “Why now?”

  This is where Eli wanted the conversation to go. “Because he has a brother he deserves to know.”

  The shock on her face says it all. “Clarke told you? I -.”

  “Save your lies for someone who believes a single word out of your mouth. All these years. All these years you knew she had my baby and y
ou never once thought to tell me. How could you be so cold? How could you look in your own son’s eyes and not feel guilty about what you were doing to another family? You robbed me of God’s greatest gifts. You stole years of happiness from me. I always knew you were a cold-hearted bitch, but this takes the cake. You’re a monster. You’re lucky I don’t sue you for sole custody of Jonny. You’re the devil. It makes me sick to think my son has to live with someone so spineless.”

  Siobhan was getting upset the moment he started on her, but Eli has held his feelings at bay for far too long. He’s not going to sit around and let her deceitful choices ruin his chances at getting back what was once his future. A boy may have left Georgia, but a man returned, and he’s hell-bent on making his presence known.

  “I did it to save my marriage.”

  “And you still got divorced, because Dad wised up. He saw through your fake nails and manipulative tongue. Reckoning day is upon you, Siobhan. Get ready, because when I’m done Jonny is going to want to live with me full time, and I’m going to let him.”

  Eli leaves Siobhan to cry. He doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt about anything he’s said to her. She made her own bed. There’s no one left to bail her out either. She did this all to herself and it makes Eli smile to know he finally has the upper hand.

  Because he’s respectful, he waits until Jonny’s mom leaves to have his important talk with the boy. At first Jonny thinks he’s done something wrong. He fidgets with his fingers and avoids eye contact. Eli takes him by the chin and forces him to give him his full undivided attention. “There’s something I think you should know. I talked to your mom and we decided it’s time. You’re big enough to handle it.”

  “Are you leaving again?”

  Eli rubs the boy’s head, pulling him against his chest. He’s trying hard to be strong like the Marine’s taught him, but this isn’t something you learn there. This is something deep that comes from the heart. “I’m never leaving again.” He kisses him on the forehead and looks closely into his matching eyes. “Before you were born your mom and our dad were having problems getting pregnant. That means they couldn’t get you to start growing in Mommy’s belly. Do you understand?”

  “Why? Why wouldn’t I grow?”

  “Well, you needed something special that Pop lost, so they had to use it from me instead.”

  “You were there when I was made?” His eyes light up, albeit Eli knows he doesn’t understand.

  “Yeah, I was a big part of it, but, buddy, there’s something else about it that they didn’t want you to know.”

  “What?”

  “Pop wasn’t your real dad. He’s your grandpa. I’m your dad.” Eli knows it’s coming out wrong and the child will have a million questions and probably go into his kindergarten class rambling on about his two dads, but he doesn’t care. The truth is out there. “I’m your daddy, Jonny, and I stayed away but I didn’t want it to upset your pop, but he would want you to know now, because you’re a big boy.”

  “Is Pop sad?”

  Eli hugs the boy. “No. We’re all still family and that’s what matters. I’m staying here because you need a father, and I’d like for you to want to have a dad. I’ll never take the place of Pop, but you and I are the same inside.” He points to the child’s abdomen. “Do you understand?”

  “You helped me grow?”

  “Yeah,” Eli chuckles. “I did.”

  “Okay.”

  “There’s something else too.”

  “What?”

  “You have a brother, Jonny. His name is Tyler and you’re about the same age. Pretty soon you’re going to meet him, and I’m hoping you’ll be the best of friends.”

  The child stands and begins jumping up and down. “I have a brother! I have a brother!”

  Deciding to celebrate with him, Eli stands and jumps with him. The feeling of joy overwhelms the once recluse man. His heart is so full it could burst with happiness. He never knew he could experience this type of high and fulfillment, especially not by coming back to Georgia.

  When Eli and Jonny tire of the physical celebration, they plop back down on the sofa and catch their breath. Jonny starts asking questions, tons and tons of them. What does his brother look like? Will he know him already? Does he like dragons? Will he go camping? Can he share his tree house with him? The curious little boy continues asking Eli questions until it’s time for bed. He tucks the boy in and tells him his story before walking out into the hallway. That’s when he hears the sound of Jonny’s voice say something he never expected. “Goodnight, Daddy.”

  He places his hand on the new thicker door trim and smiles from ear to ear, while his eyes fill with salty liquid. “Goodnight, son.”

  Needless to say, when morning comes Eli has a heck of a time getting Jonny to go home with his mother. He has a temper tantrum, kicking and screaming while being drug to the car. Siobhan gives him a dirty look and a shove before getting into the driver’s seat. “See what you did?”

  “He wants to stay. I can’t help that.”

  She’s rolling her window up before he’s able to finish the sentence. Eli waves with a sarcastic, this-isn’t-over look flashed across his pleased face. Telling Jonny the truth while he’s young will make it easier. Eli is hoping that eventually he’ll forget the times he wasn’t around, and fill his little mind with memories of what’s to come.

  The anticipation is killing him. Eli showered and changed into something less ripped or stained. He straightened up the main parts of the house and even made sure the refrigerator had kid friendly food and drinks. Now he’s pacing, waiting for a car to come down the driveway. He watches the clock, praying Clarke isn’t going to let him down. It’s obvious that this will be difficult for her, especially at first. All he can hope is that she follows through with her promises.

  She’s five minutes late, but he sees the nose of the car heading in the direction of the house. A knot forms in his stomach, and he struggles with where he should be when the two come inside. He doesn’t want to make it weird or too serious. The sound of the kitchen screen door opening lets him know Clarke decided not to knock. He’s glad of that, since answering the door seemed like a desperate move.

  “In here, Clarke.”

  She’s walking behind Tyler, holding both sides of his shoulders. Eli’s smile lights up the room when the two make eye contact. He falls to his knees as they get close enough to reach out and touch. Before the boy is able to react, Eli has his arms wrapped around him and begins to cry gently against his cheek. It goes on until the boy is starting to feel frightened, so Clarke gets down with them and begins to sob too. This is one of the happiest moments of their lives. For the first time they're able to comfort one another as a family. It's not until Eli feels little hands around his neck that he feels that unconditional love flowing through them.

  He pulls back and kisses his son's forehead. "It's so good to meet you."

  "Mommy said you were a soldier and that's why you weren't here. Did you drive tanks?"

  Eli and Clarke both laugh. He knows it was easier to tell him the soldier story than to fabricate more lies. He was a soldier. He'd been stationed in Afghanistan. It's not a lie.

  "I've been in a tank, but just for fun. That's more of an army thing. If you want, one day I'll tell you all about it."

  "Okay."

  Clarke comes up with a good way for the boys to bond. "Maybe you could find those old picture books and show Tyler how much he resembles you at his age."

  Eli doesn't move from his position. "Would you mind going into Dad's old room and pulling them from the closet shelf. It's the blue album."

  Clarke returns to find the boys out back in the tree house. She follows the voices and climbs the ladder the best she's able to with one hand still holding the photo album.

  Eli and Tyler are sitting in an old pleather beanbag chair. They both look up when they see her heading in their direction. "Mommy, isn't this place the coolest?"

  "It is."

  "My
new daddy said you used to play up here."

  Clarke can hardly contain her embarrassment. She flashes Eli a stern look and then laughs it off. Taking the spot opposite Eli, she hands over the album.

  Eli turns to the first page and it's a large photograph of a newborn baby. He starts to tell the child that it's him in the photograph, before proceeding to the next page. When it gets to the pictures of Eli at the same age, the resemblance is uncanny. Even Eli himself is taken back. Tyler is his spitting image, while Jonny has a little of Siobhan in him.

  Amazed that he looks like his father, Tyler nestles his body close to the man, having gained a bit more trust.

  The three sit in the old tree fort until the mosquitoes start to bite, then retreat inside the house. Clarke takes one look at Eli and knows something is up. They let Tyler look at more pictures while they head into the kitchen to have an adult conversation.

  Eli makes it through the swinging door and turns to face her. She can already tell it's something serious. "What's wrong?"

  "I'm glad you're here. I didn't think this would ever happen for me. I can still remember the night I left Georgia. I tried so hard to get the nerve to tell you the truth. I wrote you a letter and Siobhan promised to give it to you. I asked you to meet me with your bags packed. I waited and waited, but you never showed. It broke me. I was lost, broke, and without a place or person I could turn to. I might have been running, but I couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t want to come with me. Back then we were inseparable.” He wipes his face and leans against the new granite counter on the center island. “I should have called, begged you to change your mind. One call and this wouldn’t have happened. One damn phone call and you’d be my wife. We wouldn’t have to make up visitation agreements and act like things are fine and dandy between us.” Eli raises his hand and strokes the side of her face. “We could have been a family, but I’m grateful for what I have. Tyler is part of you, so I guess I didn’t lose everything. He’s going to have a brother and a dad that plans on making up for lost time. They’ll never want for anything.”