Ever

by Shade, Darrin

  “I’m sorry I interrupted you,” he said smoothly, and then he favored me with a grin before he headed down the stairs.

  How did he know he was interrupting something? I pushed the thought out of my mind with effort. Feigning indifference, I watched him depart from the corner of my eye, taking in the broad shoulders, the hair so blond it was nearly white in the sun. My mouth went dry and I swallowed reflexively, trying to rid myself of the hard lump that had formed in my throat.

  I sat down and opened my brown lunch sack. I stared at the contents, knowing I would hardly taste my food. Okay, so Jaren was hot. Really hot. I was pretty freaked out by my reaction to the guy. I had never had any sort of reaction to a guy before. I was kind of annoyed that it took me a while to regain my composure.

  Get yourself together, Ever.

  “OH MY GOD, Everleigh!” Val clunked up the stairs out of nowhere, her black platform sandals nearly catching on the last step as she plopped down next to me. “Did Jaren Wilder just SPEAK TO YOU?”

  “Er, well, not really,” I stammered. The last thing I needed was to break the unwritten social code that barred me from interacting with “her” man.

  “What do you mean not really? What did he say?” A large, toothy grin was cemented across Val’s face. She reminded me of an alligator read to snap up its unsuspecting prey.

  “Oh, nothing really, he um, he just…asked me what time it was.” I told the boldfaced lie without a flinch. Master manipulator. Usually.

  “Well? What did you tell him?” she demanded.

  “Uh, I told him it was twelve-ten.” I was starting to find her reaction kind of ridiculous. After all, she didn’t even know the guy.

  “Oh my God! You are soooo lucky! He is so freaking hot! God, I would kill to talk to him!” Val’s hands were shaking as she rifled through her trademark black satchel.

  Dara and Naomi arrived, wearing almost identical clothing: ripped skinny jeans, studded belts and punk tee shirts that they had cut the necks out of so that the colored straps of their bras peeked through. Dara’s bra was turquoise and Naomi’s was magenta. Cute.

  I had nothing to fill out a bra, but I wore a stretchy, seamless one anyway. Naomi was the most endowed among us. She had developed super early, achieving the coveted double-D status by the end of the summer before seventh grade. That was the summer when it seemed like everyone else changed…they grew taller, developed, started wearing makeup… I sighed, wondering when I would be graced with some indication of physical maturity.

  “Oh my God, you guys! You will never believe what just happened!” Val always had to be the first one to tell the others about anything significant. “Jaren Wilder just asked Everleigh what time it was!”

  They both turned to gawk at me.

  “I told him it was twelve-ten.”

  Geez, what would they do if they knew he had picked up my pencil? Combust? As the other girls chattered on about Jaren and the ramifications of me telling him the time, I contemplated the smoky ribbons of color that I had observed moments before. It was almost as though I was seeing a kind of energy…a psychic energy? Absently, my fingers went to the pendant tucked behind the thin cotton of my shirt. It now felt cool and smooth to my fingers. The stone had something to do with this—I just wasn’t sure what.

  I tuned back into the conversation in time to hear Val start talking about Kamryn Davis’s party. Kamryn was Rich—I mean Rich was a major understatement. I guess to say she lived in a house was also an understatement—the place was a palace. We drove by it once, out of morbid curiosity, only to be thwarted by the large iron gates that surrounded the place like a fortress battlement. Kamryn’s dad owned a couple of Hollywood clubs and made ridiculous amounts of cash. Val paid careful attention to Kamryn’s wardrobe and informed us she never wore the same designer outfit twice.

  Kamryn herself was a little nuts. I guess you would have to be if you grew up in a house that resembled the Taj Mahal with your cook and your nanny, while your parents traveled the world without you. Kamryn had a new, older boyfriend every few weeks. The latest guy was a twenty-three-year-old Covecrest dropout named Jimmy. He had been suspended once for getting drunk at winter formal, and then he was kicked out of school altogether for flipping off Coach Cutter.

  The elusive Kamryn never seemed to attend class, yet somehow she managed to skate by. The gossip about her ranged from “she has implants,” to “she slept with the history teacher,” to “she’s on Prozac.” Her status as The Richest Girl in School was enough to override the crazy things she supposedly did and allowed her to be Neutral; that is, she could simultaneously participate in any social clique she desired. She tended to spend most of her time with the Candy Girls, who hoped to one day attend a red carpet event as Kamryn’s guest, or the Druggies, who hoped to one day partake in some of her meds. Val had overheard two Candy Girls whispering during chemistry class about the huge rager Kamryn was having Friday night.

  There had been a time—a time that I could hardly recall—when we had all been friends. Kam, me, and a few of the Candy Girls had all been in Girl Scouts and gymnastics class together. Val was there, too. Somehow, as we got older, everything had changed. It had been clear, when we started junior high, that some us weren’t friends anymore. I was one of those poor, unfortunate, awkward souls who just didn’t fit in. So, I had become a Loner and then an Outcast. It hurt at first, but now I was used to being a social pariah. I wasn’t Rich, and I wasn’t weird enough to qualify for Goth status, so Everleigh the Outcast it was.

  “Do you think my man will be at the party?” Val tossed her long mane. I often envied her hair, so smooth and sleek, so easy to maintain, unlike my unruly waves.

  “He totally will!” Naomi exclaimed.

  “Are we planning to crash this party or something?” I pictured us having the door slammed in our faces. I hadn’t exactly been to any big parties like this one.

  “Oh come on, Everleigh.” Val spoke to me as though I was the village idiot sometimes. “I mean, it’s not like you get a written invitation to a freaking rager!” She barked out a laugh and I felt something barely perceptible inside me shrink.

  Dara made eye contact with Val and snickered. With a start, I realized that this interaction mimicked the one I had observed with Madison and her cohort. I looked down and slightly to the side, letting my eyes go out of focus in time to see a ribbon of reddish, misty color swirl toward Val’s head. Stunned, I watched her eyes brighten as the swirls sank into her. I stood up suddenly, causing them to stop talking and look at me. The flow of energy smoke ceased abruptly.

  “Just going to toss this trash away, guys.” I picked up my lunch sack and turned my back on them. I was sure I had surprise and confusion written all over my face. Something was happening…I just didn’t know what.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Life of the Party…Not!

  Despite my growing unease, I hopped into Val’s car after school on Friday and we headed to the mall. She marched a direct path into a trendy store called Style Maiden, and made a beeline for the section displaying tight, low-cut dresses. I sighed. Those dresses would make me look like a skeletal freak. As they bantered over which dress was the cutest, I found myself standing in front of a mannequin wearing black skinny jeans and a loose sheer tee shirt. Beneath the tee shirt, the mannequin sported a cute colored bra—the kind that I couldn’t fill out. I figured I could toss a colored tank underneath instead.

  I grabbed the smallest sizes I could find and joined the other girls in the dressing room. I tried on my outfit like I always did—as quickly as possible. I took a swift glance in the mirror to double check that the pants weren’t too long. They were probably supposed to be capris on a normal-sized girl because they fit me just right. Hastily, I changed back into my clothes before the others asked to see my outfit.

  I perched on a little chair and waited for Val to come out of her dressing room. She was wearing a skintight halter dress that left pretty much nothing to the imagination. Dara and Naomi
had picked out dresses in a similar style.

  “Oh my God, Val, that is sooo cute!” Naomi gushed.

  I nodded in agreement. It was true. The dress did look amazing on Val. She could probably buy beer at the mini-mart wearing a getup like that.

  “Are you getting something, Everleigh?” Naomi inspected what I had wrapped under my arm.

  “Just a new pair of skinnies and a tee shirt,” I mumbled.

  “Why don’t you get a dress, too? You know, so we all match?” Val looked at me with a touch of disdain. I knew my taste in clothes would be seriously questioned the second she dropped me off later that afternoon.

  “Uh, they don’t have my size,” I shifted uncomfortably.

  “Well, that’s because you’re so tiny!” Dara looked a little envious, even though she was thin, too. She had boobs though, and she was tall enough to rock her dress.

  “Yeah, I wish I had your curves,” I said, trying not to let my emotions leak into my voice. I didn’t need Val knowing any of my weaknesses.

  We headed out of the store and back to Val’s place to get ready. Her mother had a new boyfriend and they were just heading out for the evening when we arrived. I didn’t like the way he looked at me. His eyes lingered on my flat chest and I felt my cheeks heat up as he shot me a mocking leer. It made my skin crawl. I felt the pendant around my neck prickle as I endured his creepy stare. I ducked by “Georgio” and followed Val down the hall.

  Val’s room was a testament to rebellion. Her door was painted black with a bunch of band stickers on it. The wall behind her bed was dark gray, and the other three walls were maroon. Song lyrics and angry personal sentiments were scrawled all over her “canvases.” Val’s mother never complained about the decor, I guess because she felt bad about the divorce. I knew Val had been to a therapist to deal with it.

  Val turned on some punk music and we all pulled the contents of our neon Style Maiden bags and laid them out on her four-poster bed. I thought fast. I mean, I could just hear the comments Val would make the second I was out of earshot about how thin I was, how flat I was, how I could never understand the back pain associated with having a large chest…

  “I need to pee.” It was a useful excuse.

  I grabbed my new tank and jeans and headed into the hallway on the pretext of using the bathroom. I pulled my shirt over my head and felt my pendant thump lightly against my chest. I peered at it, confirming that the crystal still seemed to glow with an inner fire. The vision frightened me a little, but in a weird way, it also felt somewhat comforting. The stone no longer prickled as it had a few moments before.

  What does it mean? I hadn’t felt that kind of prickle before. It was almost like…a warning. I tucked the quartz carefully under my pink tank and pulled my new sheer top over my head. After slipping on my new skinnies, I stuffed my other clothes into the bag and ran my fingers through my hair to smooth away some of the frizz.

  When I opened the door to Val’s room, the three of them were sitting on the floor, huddled over something. “Check it out!” Val held up a brown glass bottle. She took a swig. “My mom should hide her liquor better!”

  The only other time I had tasted alcohol was when I took a sip of champagne at my cousin’s wedding and had found it totally vile. But when I thought about attending the rager at Kamryn’s, I felt my anxiety kick in. The Populars, the Jocks…all of those kids would probably ignore me. Maybe I was a Nobody…one step below a Loner.

  Looking at my friends in their tight dresses and heels made me feel even worse. I looked like somebody’s younger sister or something. It was possible that rather than being ignored, I wasn’t even going to be let into this party. I wasn’t exactly sure why I decided to do it, but I lifted the heavy bottle to my mouth and felt my lips tingle as the brown liquid touched them. I fought the urge to cough as the stuff burned a fiery trail down my throat.

  “Ugh!” I couldn’t help but sputter as I passed the bottle back to Naomi.

  Pass after pass, the bottle made its rounds through our little circle until we were all giggling like idiots. I felt very odd…relaxed, giggly and just a tad invincible. It was almost as though I wasn’t myself. I caught my own gaze in the mirror again, nearly choked on my mouthful of whisky. I looked like someone else, too! No wonder people drank. Now, I looked way less hideous than I normally did. Or maybe it was just the new clothes. As I reached for the bottle, my pendant jolted me hard enough to make me squeak with alarm. The others giggled as I covered up my reaction. The bottle came to me again, and this time, it felt like an electric shock went through me.

  Okay, okay, I directed my thoughts to the pendant. I’m done.

  The crystal vibrated in response. I held the bottle for a few seconds, and even feigned a few more swigs before passing it, but I stopped drinking the contents. Soon, the bottle was empty. Val stashed it under her bed and I sneaked a glimpse down my tank to see if I was visibly burned this time. Thankfully, there was no mark on my chest, but my pendant flickered at me, like it was pleased that I had listened.

  Wow, I must be drunk.

  The faint sound of a car horn stole into the room. Val jumped up. “Our ride is here.” She grabbed her purse and we followed her outside where her older brother, Mark, flashed his lights at us from his blue Suburban.

  Mark was a senior. He also played basketball, which made him an Athlete. Athletes had unrestricted access to parties. Val was clever, heading to the party with Mark practically guaranteed that no one would mess with us at the door. I felt a droopy smile sitting on my face. The past few nights of little to no sleep were taking their toll. My eyes closed partially and I sort of dozed off…

  “Everleigh,” Dara yanked my arm. “We’re here!” I snapped awake, feeling a bit sick but still pleasantly fuzzy.

  We walked up the long driveway to a huge carved wooden door. I could hear the rhythmic bump of music pulsing inside. Mark opened the door and we were immediately assaulted by noise. There were people everywhere. A bunch of jocks spied Mark and then he was gone, swallowed up by the drunken sway of partygoers. I scanned the room and recognized a few of the Candy Girls, but that was it. A lot of the people seemed to be older—they were out of high school for sure.

  “Let’s go outside.” Val grabbed me by the arm.

  Her touch jolted me but I didn’t know why. My movements felt effortful. I didn’t like it. Everyone else was moving super-fast and I was walking on feet made of cement or something. I let Val haul me into a huge backyard and then I broke free of her hand. The swimming pool was lit up, and a bunch of bikini-clad Populars splashed and giggled in it, drawing the undivided attention of some guys clustered around the edges. Steam wafted from the Jacuzzi where still others were downing beers like nobody’s business.

  As we approached the scores of partygoers, I felt a rolling wave of energy come up to smack me, nearly knocking me down. My eyes widened, all sensations of being intoxicated slipping away as I tried to rationalize what had just happened. I shook myself mentally and redirected my attention. I felt alert and awake, but anxious. I didn’t like the feeling. No more alcohol. It dulled me in a way that was not good.

  Farther down the grassy backyard, I saw lighted stone steps leading down to a pool house or something. A small group of kids had made their way down there, and from their overlapping shadows, I figured the place for a make-out zone. Of all the girls I knew, I was the only one who had never been on a date, had never held hands with a guy, had never done anything with the opposite sex other than, I assumed, physically revolt them.

  Gram always said I was beautiful, but I just couldn’t see it. I looked nothing like the Populars. My negative thoughts fed my feelings of alienation and suddenly I wanted to leave. What was I doing here anyway? These kids were not my friends. Most of them didn’t even know my name. I felt a wave of negative energy threaten to consume me.

  Why am I so….different?

  “Dude, he’s here!” Val had been scanning the crowd constantly, to secure the first Jaren Wild
er sighting.

  I followed Val’s gaze. The object of her fascination leaned casually against a column by the stairs leading down to the pool. Jaren Wilder held a red plastic cup in one hand and a notebook in the other. Why was he alone? I wondered if he liked to write like I did, and then I dismissed the idea as totally ludicrous. Two Candy Girls posed in front of him—they were posturing, smiling wide, talking loud…daring him to bestow his attention on them.

  “Let’s go stand over there!” Val pulled down the top of her dress to enhance her cleavage and turned in his direction. Of course she wanted any excuse to brush past Jaren, to bump into him—anything to provide additional fodder for her obsession.

  Of course, saying hello to the guy would be a totally ridiculous idea…

  “Um, I’ll meet you guys in a sec. I’m going to find the bathroom.” I didn’t want to be anywhere near Jaren…or anyone for that matter.

  “Do you want us to come with?”

  I knew Dara was just being polite so I declined the company. Let them flirt with the possibility of actually talking to Jaren Wilder or one of the other Populars—I couldn’t have cared less at the moment. No, right now, I was far more concerned with the fact that I was starting to see these weird colors floating around everyone—like they were encased in overlapping bubbles. I was never drinking again. NEVER.

  I ducked into the first-floor bathroom and stared at myself for a few minutes. My green-gold eyes still looked as weird as ever. I rubbed at them for a few seconds and splashed some water on my face. There. That should do it. I mean, I wanted to see the energy smoke, or whatever it was, but I didn’t want to hallucinate uncontrollably!

  Kamryn’s party was a good place to observe stuff. There were lots of kids here and they were all interacting in different ways. Maybe if I found a good vantage point, I could practice seeing the energy smoke. I wandered through the maze of ornate furnishings that made up the first floor of the house. I made my way up the wide marble staircase, taking care to step over the empty red plastic cups. For some reason, my feet led me to a door that opened into a study with a small balcony that overlooked the backyard. I saw a large, green porch swing in the corner—just what I was looking for. I stared out at the throngs of kids below, letting my eyes go out of focus.