Ever

by Shade, Darrin

  Naomi and Dara both looked depressed now, while Val seemed to gain control over herself. I didn’t like what I was seeing, but I wasn’t sure how to stop it. I wanted a way out, but leaving now, while Val was obviously distressed, wouldn’t be cool. My phone buzzed from my pack and I pulled it out with as much nonchalance as I could muster. Other than my folks, the only people whom ever texted me were sitting right in front of me.

  I peeked at the message and hid my face behind my hand. Smiling would so not be appropriate right now. But Jaren was thinking about me. My heart beat faster at the idea of seeing him again. Alone.

  Jaren: Point Park. 3:00 p.m.

  I quickly typed out a reply without taking my phone from my pack.

  Me: Okay.

  Jaren: Bring The Archive :)

  Me: Okay.

  I contemplated adding my own smiley face before hitting send, but reconsidered. Why couldn’t I think of something cute to say back? I was totally lame. I went back to my lunch, renewed at the thought of being alone in the park with Jaren Wilder. I was even able to handle Val’s play-by-play description of what exactly she did in the woods with Mike. What she let him do to her sounded pretty gross. I let my thoughts drift back to how amazing it had felt to sleep wrapped in Jaren’s arms. I nearly choked on my water, drawing the attention of all three girls, as I imagined doing the things Val described—with Jaren.

  Suddenly, those things didn’t seem as gross any more.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  The Kiss Stealer

  Point Park was named for the steep cliff that bordered it on one side. The place was rugged and beautiful, dotted with trees and shrubs. There was an old, abandoned lighthouse sitting proudly atop the point’s drop-off over the ocean. Of course, there were tons of ghost stories about that place. A historical society did tours on Sundays with a creepy old caretaker. Every year, the high school drama club staged a pretty decent haunted house there. I had never gone inside it, but I had spent quite a few afternoons just inside the gate that surrounded the lighthouse, beneath a majestic tree with branches that extended out like they were asking for an embrace.

  Had I always had an affinity for trees? Maybe so, and now I knew why. There was good energy here. It wasn’t as strong as what I had felt in the woods of Yosemite, but the tree in the park hummed with a quiet presence all its own. Maybe it had always compelled me, even though I couldn’t sense the energy then the way I could now.

  It turned out that I wasn’t the only one who liked this particular place. After saying hello and pointing to the spot next to him under the tree, Jaren explained that it was one of his favorites, too. He had spent time here as a child—it was a wonder that we hadn’t run into each other at the park before.

  “So, read me the attunement that involves the herb from the bookstore, and then we can go through the other ones, too, to make sure we haven’t missed anything.”

  “Um, sure.” I pulled out the journal and noticed the slight tremor in my hands as I opened it. I took a deep breath to steady myself.

  “Don’t be nervous.” His warm hand covered mine and I jerked away, irritated at how easy it was for him to read me.

  “I’m not nervous!”

  Jaren grinned wickedly, raising a sculpted brow as he looked down at my shaking hand. All thoughts of the attunements flew right out of my head. I couldn’t get the memory of kissing him out of my mind. It was probably just a one-time thing—like he said, to distract me. As I ripped my attention from his beautiful mouth, Jaren reached out and trailed one long finger down my arm. I stopped breathing altogether, both of us watching as goose flesh followed his lazy progress toward my wrist. Finally, I met his eyes, surprised to find that they had darkened from blue to a stormy gray. What happened next was entirely unexpected.

  “I can’t get that out of my head either.”

  I heard myself gasp as Jaren leaned toward me, determination in his eyes. My eyes fluttered closed and finally his warm mouth came down on mine. I prayed that this time, I would be able to control myself, but I failed miserably. I had no idea what I was doing in the make-out department, but my body seemed to just take over, which was great because I had been rendered incapable of rational thought the second he touched me.

  Jaren’s mouth was heaven. His tongue moved like velvet, tracing my lower lip. The Archive fell out of my hand into the soft grass that carpeted the ground. He placed gentle pressure on my shoulders and I reclined until I was lying on my back. My legs fell open and it was the most natural thing in the world for him to position his long, lean body between them. Jaren held himself over me, kissing me like his life depended on it. White-hot fire rocketed from my lips straight down into my toes. Urgently, I found my hand fumbling at his waist, seeking the hem of his tee shirt.

  Finally, my hand found what it sought so desperately. I splayed my hand over his smooth, warm back, pulling him closer. He pressed into me, rubbing right against a certain spot between my legs that made me ache. Skin on skin, my hand moved over the taut muscles I found under Jaren’s shirt.

  I let out a low moan and Jaren responded with a slightly pained groan of his own. Then he tore his mouth from mine. I was swimming in a sea of bliss, wanting nothing more than for him to kiss me again. I was an addict, drugged by his beautiful mouth. I reached for him, but Jaren levered himself up and away from me, breathing hard.

  It was several moments before I could move at all. I lay there, panting like I had just run the track. Once I was able to open my eyes, I expected him to be grinning at me, in that self-assured way he had about him. I touched my fingers to my kiss-swollen lips. I was surprised to find Jaren regarding me, his eyes nearly black with intensity.

  “Uh,” was all that would come out of my mouth.

  “Yeah. That about sums it up.”

  He sounded frustrated. Had I done something wrong? I opened my mouth and then closed it again, having no idea what to say. I picked myself up, my legs feeling like rubber, and retrieved The Archive from where it had fallen. Jaren stared at the lighthouse as I hesitated, wondering what to do. This was not how I expected the aftermath of my second kiss to be at all. Suddenly, everything seemed so wrong. Several minutes passed as I waited for him to say something—anything. Anything at all.

  He didn’t.

  “Maybe—maybe I should go,” I whispered. Yes. I should leave. Go home. Crawl under the covers and never come out. I could do home study…I began to shuffle around for my things.

  “Don’t go.” Jaren still sounded pained.

  “Did I—did I do something wrong?” I asked in a tiny voice, fearing the answer.

  Well, I didn’t need an answer, did I? All I had to do was to look at Jaren. Obviously, I had done something very, very wrong. His energy was all jumbled, and he seemed to be focusing on a spot far out in the ocean. He held himself stiffly, as though he could hardly stand to be around me.

  Well, he had kissed me! Again! It wasn’t my fault I didn’t know what I was doing. Suddenly, I was angry. I planted my hands on my hips.

  “It’s not my fault I don’t know what I’m doing! You could give me some kind of, like, advanced warning when you’re going to do that, you know!” I cried.

  I turned toward the lighthouse, crossing my arms over my chest. My nipples were poking out through my pathetic excuse for a bra even though it wasn’t cold outside. I hunched my shoulders, trying to make my predicament less obvious. Thankfully, the only other people visible in the park were yards away, paying us no attention.

  Jaren stood up, rather awkwardly. I peeked at his face and noticed the tension was replaced by that familiar, lopsided grin. “What did you say?”

  “You heard me! If I’m not…doing it right…well, it’s not like I know what I’m doing or anything. You’re the one who kissed me! You can’t just expect me to know…”

  I trailed off at his incredulous look. “What? Stop looking at me that way, Jaren Wilder!”

  “I’m sorry! I just assumed…was that—was that time in the grov
e your first kiss?”

  I blushed to the roots of my hair. Wasn’t it obvious?

  “Are you making fun of me?” My voice had gone up an octave and tears pricked my eyes.

  He went all serious and quiet. “No. Not at all. Please believe me, Ever.”

  “Am I that bad?” I whispered. God, this was so embarrassing.

  “Oh, hell.”

  Jaren pushed his hands through his hair, making it stand up all spiky and sexy. “You’re so innocent. You really have no idea, what it’s like…”

  I had no clue what he was talking about. Innocent? That’s how he saw me? Of course I was “innocent.” No guy had ever shown me the slightest bit of interest until now, and I knew it was because I had the body of a ten-year old boy. Until last week, I was sure I would die a never-been-kissed virgin.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I can’t believe we are having this conversation.”

  “Well, we don’t have to have any sort of conversation,” I retorted. “You’re the one who asked me to meet you here. You’re the one who insists on, um, kissing me unexpectedly! And then you act all butt hurt about something…”

  “It’s not my butt that hurts, Ever.”

  Huh? I must have looked totally confused because he finally gestured to himself, well, there, and understanding finally dawned.

  “Oh! I mean…oh. Um, so what you’re saying is that you…oh.” I couldn’t even get the words out. I was sure I was a brilliant shade of purple by now.

  Jaren shook his head. “I just can’t believe that was your first kiss back there at the grove…looks like I’m one lucky guy.”

  Lucky? Well, now I knew that Jaren Wilder was certifiable.

  “You kissed me to distract me,” I said slowly. Not because you wanted to.

  “I kissed you to distract you but I had to stop before we went too far. It wasn’t the place. Or the time.”

  Oh. Wait, really?

  “I guess you should know—I’ve had a few girlfriends.”

  Duh. Look at him! Why did the thought of Jaren kissing another girl make me feel like someone was pressing a searing hot poker directly on my heart?

  “I’ve done my share of kissing.”

  Ouch! Why was he torturing me with these evil words?

  “But nothing has ever compared to the way I feel when I kiss you, Ever.”

  “I have nothing to compare kissing you to,” I remarked honestly.

  A dark cloud seemed to come over Jaren’s face as he asked, “Do you want to compare kissing me to someone else?”

  I didn’t. In fact, the thought of another boy’s hands on me made me feel ill. I guess Jaren took the opportunity to read me then, because he relaxed, and the heaviness faded from his face. I entertained the notion that he might actually be jealous. There was no way. The hottest guy in school…jealous? Over me?

  “Okay, then.”

  “So…it’s not normal then? The way it feels when we, er…” I wasn’t sure how to process what he was telling me.

  “I feel like I’m falling into you. Like I can’t get close enough. Like…I’m going to lose control. I meant it when I said I didn’t want to hurt you, sweetheart.”

  There he goes with the sweetheart again. Would I ever be used to Jaren Wilder using a term of endearment to address me?

  “I wasn’t hurting,” I admitted, deciding that since I couldn’t possibly be any more embarrassed than I already was, I might as well be honest.

  His gaze became heated again. “I was enjoying it, too. A little too much.” He glanced down at himself ruefully, and a giggle bubbled up and out of my mouth.

  “I’m…sorry?” I wasn’t sure what to say but suddenly, I couldn’t keep the huge grin off my face. If what he was saying was anything close to the truth, then Jaren Wilder was wildly attracted to me. Or at least, his body was. Oh, please don’t let me wake up to find that this has all been a crazy dream…

  “Don’t be sorry, sweetheart. Someday, the time will be right. Just…not right now. Not here. Definitely not in public.” He gave me a wicked wink that caused a volcanic eruption go off somewhere below my belly button.

  Holy crap! Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Was I ready to even consider the thought of doing, well, it—and not just doing it, but doing it with him?

  He sidled closer to me. “So….I got your first kiss, huh?”

  Despite the roaring in my ears, I nodded. Jaren tugged me into his arms. I could practically feel his chest swelling and I wondered if he wanted to thump himself like Tarzan. His behavior made me feel wanted. The feeling made me brave.

  Boldly, I went up on tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “And my second. You’re just a kiss-stealer, aren’t you?” Wow, who was talking now? I sounded like a confident seductress instead of a dorky virgin who had never even held hands with a guy until a few nights ago.

  He chuckled. “I think that last one counted as at least two kisses.”

  “Nope.”

  “No?” Now, he laughed out loud and the sound rumbled through his chest to caress me.

  “No,” I stated, filled with a confidence I hadn’t known I possessed. “Watch your back, Jaren Wilder. You’re not the only kiss-stealer in town. I’ll be stealing the next one when you’re least expecting it.”

  He looked into my eyes and I was tempted to press my mouth to his right then and there.

  “I’m looking forward to that. Can we at least try to make some progress with The Archive…if you can control yourself?”

  We both laughed, but I’m sure he had no idea how hard it was for me to control myself after that.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Dream a Little Dream

  “I wanna ride the carousel!” a little girl with long, blond hair begged.

  “Come on, Robert, just ride it with her once.”

  “Barb, you know we need to talk. About us.”

  “I know,” the child’s mother said tightly. “But this night was supposed to be about us. About family.”

  “Don’t you talk to me about family, Barb. You ruined all that.”

  “Please don’t, Bobby. Not in front of her.”

  The little girl had started to cry. “I wanna ride the pink horsey.”

  “Fine. It’s not your fault anyway that your mother’s a whore.” The man grabbed the little girl by the arm and she let out a shriek.

  “Bobby!” the mother cried out, as heads started to turn.

  “No, Daddy!” The child had changed her mind.

  “You wanted to ride it, so we’re riding it. Then I’m done.”

  I watched as the little girl was dragged onto the pink horse, crying. Her father rode behind her, his arm holding her still, his face a mask of barely contained rage. The mother stood silent, wringing her hands, as the carousel rotated. The music was almost deafening. Round and round it went, for what seemed like an eternity. The little girl’s tearstained face was seared into my mind as the smell of popcorn and cotton candy became overwhelming.

  I was going to be sick. Nausea bubbled up in my throat. I looked down at the ground, expecting to see my feet, but nothing was there. In fact, as I held my hands in front of my face, I discovered that I couldn’t see my body. I wasn’t really there at all. The carousel music got louder and louder, and I was whizzing around with it, faster and faster. Everything was a blur of lights.

  Then I woke up.

  * * *

  I was curled in the fetal position in my bed, sweating like I had just run a marathon. My heart was pounding. It took me a few minutes to realize that I was in my room and not on some dysfunctional family trip to a carnival. It was still dark outside, but the sky was starting to lighten. I didn’t need to look at my clock. I knew what it time it was.

  Yep, 4:47 on the dot.

  Shakily, I made my way to the shower, still hearing that annoying carousel music in my head. The people in the dream—I had no idea who they were. It had all seemed so real. That poor little girl. My tears mingled with the water th
at dripped down my body as I rinsed my hair clean. What did it all mean?

  I managed to shove the haunting memory of the dream from my mind. I had placed the raven’s seed in a satin pouch I had purchased at a street fair a few years back. I folded it carefully into the pocket of my jeans and headed to school. The seed, the noises, the number, and now the dream, and all that energy smoke swirling around… I had the pieces of a very complicated puzzle and no idea what picture I was supposed to make from them. I knew time was of the essence though—April seventh was getting closer.

  I checked my schedule and remembered that I had an bio quiz this week. It was a good excuse to schedule some time with Hopkins. He might be able to narrow down one piece of the puzzle if he could tell me about the seed.

  Me: Meet with Hopkins at lunch about seed?

  Jaren: Good idea. Will c u there.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  More Extra Credit

  “You say you found this on the field trip?” Hopkins looked puzzled.

  I nodded. “Um, it was just there on the trail. I picked it up because I wasn’t sure what it was.” The lie flowed easily off my tongue.

  “Well,” Hopkins said, turning the smooth, brown seed over in his hand, “I’ve never seen anything quite like this. Why don’t you leave it here for a few days so I can examine it.”

  Examine it? No, I was definitely not okay with that. What if he wanted to dissect it or something? I started to panic. That seed had to remain in my possession, and it had to stay in one piece. Jaren chose that moment to breeze into the classroom. I was struck dumb at the sight of him. God, his looks rivaled those of any movie star. He flashed me his signature smile and I blushed, then cursed myself for my reaction.

  “Am I late?” he asked, slinging his backpack onto the chair next to mine.

  “Hello, Mr. Wilder,” Hopkins greeted Jaren.

  “Oh, I see that Everleigh has already showed you our project.”

  “Project?”

  “My father was interested in having us do some research on the seed we found on the trip. We thought if we could turn it into a project, you might give us some more extra credit.”