PillowFace

by Kristopher Rufty

Even the hedges looked to have been trimmed.

  What a nice thing to come home to. Joel had gone above and beyond what she’d asked him to do. Asked? More like demanded. She felt horrible about it now, but if she hadn’t, the yard would not be this fabulous.

  Can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, right?

  That was one of Dad’s lines.

  Haley took her foot off the brake and eased the car into the garage.

  She entered the kitchen from the garage and stood on the welcome mat admiring the unblemished floor. He’d mopped too? It looked so spectacular she was afraid to walk on it, so she kicked off her shoes, then sauntered barefoot across the linoleum. It felt cool and clean under her feet and squeaked with each step.

  Dishes sat in the drainer, washed and drying. The entire kitchen had an aroma of fresh pine. Her eyes began to mist. Not from the smell, but from something else. Was she actually so touched that she was going to cry?

  What a woman thing to do.

  “Juh–Joel?” She could hardly bring her shaky voice above a murmur. She forged ahead, spinning a circle as she took it all in. It was the best thing he could have ever done for her.

  When she entered the living room, she quickly found Joel, chest down on the couch. His right arm hung off the side of it, and was bent at the elbow on the floor. One shoe was off, the other just barely clinging to his foot. It looked as if Joel had fallen asleep while kicking off his shoes. He must have been pretty tired after the day he’d had. Burying Rusky, doing all the yard work, and on top of it all, cleaning the kitchen.

  She moved past him to the stairs. The carpet felt springy and soft. He’d also vacuumed. She wiped her eyes, but they quickly refilled with tears. What’s wrong with me?

  Her throat clucked. Her body jerked as she quickly returned to the kitchen, taking a paper towel from the roll, and blew her nose in it. Then she wiped her face with a fresh one. After tossing them in the trash, she went to the freezer and removed two frozen steaks. She filled a pot to the brim with hot water and dropped them inside to thaw.

  Then she headed for her room.

  (II)

  Pillowface was sleeping when he heard movement upstairs. He’d assumed it was Joel stirring about until a woman’s soft fragrance wafted into the damp room through the vents. It was a scent he could decipher from anything, and she smelled lovely.

  Haley.

  The soft patter of her footsteps traveled from one room to another and then back. Finally, they’d transcended to the stairs and faded. Joel had told him to stay put and he’d planned on complying. He was tired, and felt like shit, however, it hadn’t taken long to become anxious, to feel cooped up, and after smelling that wonderful scent, he couldn’t sit still. He had to move around.

  So, he climbed the wooden stairs in silence except for the occasional squeak of wood. The fragrance became stronger at the top of the staircase, and when he nudged the basement door open, he was slapped with it.

  He had to see who this wonderful smell belonged to.

  As if he was on a mission, he infiltrated the living room. Moving in total silence, he snuck past Joel without disturbing him. He followed the scent to the stairs, and took them. At the top, he heard movement coming from the room straight ahead. There was a crack of opened space where the door hadn’t latched. Stealth-like in his advance, he slipped to the opening. With his body pressed firmly against the wall, he adjusted his stance so he could peer in.

  He spotted a bed, and a woman’s tight back, arched in the middle, facing him from the other side of it. The points of her spine pressed delicately against her shirt. Her hair, the color of sunlight, hung gently to her shoulder blades. Her fingers massaged her neck.

  Pillowface’s fingers tingled to rub her.

  Her hand eased away from her neck, gripping the thin straps of her dress and slid them off her shoulders. Her dress dropped, disappearing somewhere on her side of the bed.

  He ached as he gawked at her in the black-silk bra and matching thong panties. Freckles were peppered here and there across her downy flesh. Her buttocks were smooth, slanting tenderly and ample. He imagined they would squish like marshmallows if he were to squeeze them. The thin black line of her thong disappeared between the silky mounds. She hooked her thumbs under the straps and slid them down her legs. As she stepped out of them, she unhooked her bra and held it out before letting it drop.

  He hadn’t seen her face, but he already knew she was elegant, stunning. His heart sank just looking at her. He didn’t deserve seeing someone so faultless. He was blessed, and if he had still believed in God, he surely would have thanked him for allowing this gentle moment.

  Faint music erupted from inside the room. She turned around. He saw her face, albeit briefly, before he ducked away from the door. She was beautiful. What constituted as perfection was standing just on the other side of the wall. He heard shuffling, then a zipper. The music became louder momentarily before she said, “Hello?”

  A cell phone.

  He edged his way back to his peeping spot.

  “Hey, Carlee.” A pause. “Hold on, I’m putting you on speaker.” Pulling the phone away from her ear, she pressed a button, then situated it next to her. She sat on the edge of the bed, her left leg crossed over the right. Her hand gently rubbed her thigh as she talked. “Can you hear me?”

  Another female voice, distorted, said “Yep.”

  “Good.” She leaned back on the mattress. Her breasts pitched back on her chest. “You just caught me before I hopped in the shower.”

  “Hop in? Why don’t you just step in? You might hurt yourself.”

  “Hardy har.”

  “Getting all dolled for something special?”

  “Yeah, my pajamas, then I was going to fix Joel some dinner.”

  “Oh? Was he still screaming maniac in the house when you got home?”

  Pillowface’s throat tightened. How had she known that? Had Joel told her? “No, he was asleep on the couch, but listen to this, I came home and not only had he mowed the yard, he’d cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, and who knows what else. He worked really hard.”

  “Good for him. That’s very nice.”

  “It is. I’m going to cry again just thinking about it.”

  “Again?”

  Haley sighed. “Yeah, I cried right after I saw all the work he’d done.”

  Carlee sounded surprised. “You?”

  “It was a rough day. I guess it was bound to come out sooner or later.”

  “Why?”

  She placed a hand on her stomach and fingered her navel. “Well, for starters my assistant never came back to work.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. I was just so mortified. I couldn’t…”

  “You were mortified? Do you have any idea what I went through after you left?”

  “No, but from the sound of your voice, I’m guessing it was bad.”

  Haley laughed mockingly. Pillowface adored how the muscles in her neck constricted, the way her lips curved up and back. He squeezed the door paneling, wishing it was her flesh. This wasn’t like him. Carp was the one that had to feel the girls, needed to be inside the girls. He’d never approved of Carp’s methods. Neither had Buddy, but they’d allowed him to do what he wanted all the same. Since Amanda, he hadn’t wanted to be with another woman. But, now…he wasn’t so sure.

  “I went to lunch with Jonesey.” She grimaced, as if even the act of saying it was difficult.

  “Say that again?”

  “I had to. It was one of those situations that I couldn’t get out of.”

  “Oh my God, no wonder you’re so pissed at me.”

  “I’m not pissed, but I could have used you there to have my back. I was waiting on you to get back so we could go to lunch.”

  “Haley, I’m so sorry. I should have called you…instead of the front desk.”

  “Yeah…I wish you would have. I got the message you took the rest of the day off when I got back from lunch. He took me to Palmers, and
you’ll never guess who has a part time job there.”

  “Who?”

  “Alan.”

  “The cutie from the bookstore?”

  “The one and only.”

  “Did you talk to him?”

  Haley crossed her legs the other way. He could see the smooth gradient of her outer thigh. The soft light from the window reflected in her dusky flesh like a small moon on tanned water. “Yeah, but Jonesey had to open his big mouth and embarrass him pretty bad, I think he’s mad at me now.”

  “Who? Jonesey or Alan?”

  “Alan. I couldn’t care less if Jonesey is mad.”

  “Well, that’s just great. Are you still going to the bookstore tomorrow?”

  “I planned on it. Wanna go with?”

  “Sure. Want me to pick you up at seven?”

  “Whoa, are you asking me out?”

  Laughing, Carlee said, “I feel like I should after the day you had, but you know, once you get in my car it’s either put out or get out.”

  “Ugh, don’t say that, reminds me of Jonesey. He might be there Wednesday night, by the way.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “I wish I was. Kept saying how he was interested in it, and he might have to check it out.”

  “Yep, he’ll be there.”

  Haley sighed. “I know. Can’t that be considered stalking your employee?”

  “He’s a lawyer, he’ll just find a way around that.”

  Haley groaned. She looked near tears.

  “Just ignore him. Focus on making things right with Alan. Then give him a big wet kiss.”

  Haley looked confused. “Kiss who? Alan or Jonesey?”

  “Alan, duh!”

  “God, I want to so bad. He’s so cute it drives me crazy.”

  “I know he is. So, you better do it, or I will. Then you’ll have to live your fantasies through my reality.”

  “Girl, I’d kick your ass.”

  “Well, I’m issuing the challenge right now. Either you make your move, or I will. It’s on bitch.” Carlee laughed.

  “Don’t test me young lady. I will break you in half.”

  They talked a few more minutes before hanging up. Pillowface hated the phone call was done, because he enjoyed the sound of Haley’s voice so much. It calmed him, putting him in a mood he thought he could no longer reach.

  Haley tossed her cell phone behind her on the bed and lay back once again. She draped her arms above her head, fully extending her body. Pillowface gripped the paneling even harder. He could hardly contain himself. His breathing had become a heavy pant. The thin-wood section of the doorway popped under his sturdy grip, lugging the nails back from the wall, and made a sound like a snapping pencil.

  He quickly darted away just as Haley looked at the door. He hoped with all his might she hadn’t seen him.

  He retreated to Joel’s room, and could hear her footsteps soft and quick on the thick carpet behind him. “Joel?” He ducked inside, hiding behind the door. Through the opening between the hinges, he watched her head poke out like a curious prairie dog. She checked the paneling, and frowned at its loose position. Her azure-colored eyes were round, confused. “Joel?” She turned from side to side, scoping out each direction of the hall. Using her left arm to shield her breasts, her right hand cupped the small triangle between her legs.

  She stepped out into the hall.

  He quivered. Every inch of him wanted to feel her pressed against him, writhing under him. He wanted to be inside her, between those silky thighs, encased in her hugging warmth.

  She tiptoed to the stair railing and glanced over. “Who’s there?” She waited another moment, then dropped her hands, opening her body up for him to see again. “Well, I guess you’re just hearing things, kiddo.” She shook her head, turned around, and disappeared back in her room. After she closed the door, he heard the lock engage with a click.

  His erection pushed against the door so hard that it crackled under the pressure. He turned away, leaned back against the wall, and sunk down to a crouch. He took slow, deep breaths. Breathing exercises: the shrinks had recommended them to help control his rage, now he used them in hopes of controlling the urge to burst through her door and take her for himself. Several minutes later, his heartbeat had nearly returned to its normal pace. He should get back to the basement where he couldn’t see her. He’d still smell her down there, but that he would have to deal with.

  He fled back down to his hole in the basement.

  He crawled onto his cot, pulled his legs to his chest, and hugged them. If there was a next time, he feared he might not be able to control himself. Once he was set off, he couldn’t be contained until everything around him had been destroyed.

  Squeezing his legs tighter, he performed the breathing exercises until drifting off to sleep.

  (III)

  Joel woke to the smell of Worcestershire sauce and cooking meat. It was late afternoon maybe, and the room was dim, enriched in orange and yellow shades. He hadn’t moved since falling to sleep, so now his left arm felt useless and fake. He struggled to sit up.

  How long had he been asleep?

  Swinging his feet around in front of him, the remaining shoe dropped off his foot and rolled across the floor. He rubbed his eyes. Throbbing jolts of pain tingled through his left arm. Blood sloughed through, feeling like rice trying to be shoved through his veins.

  He looked through the sliding doors to the backyard. Haley was at the grill. Gusts of smoke puffed around her while she sprayed water at lapping flames with a squirt bottle, using her free hand to fan it from her face. It smelled like steak. She must have pulled the grill out of the basement. It’d been locked down there since the fall.

  He suddenly felt as if he were kicked in the ass. Pillowface. Had she stumbled across his hidden guest? Surely, if she had, he would’ve heard about it by now, or so he hoped.

  Joel’s mouth felt dry and brittle. His tongue seemed as if it were a dehydrated snake, flopping around between his teeth. He wondered if Haley had seen Pillowface’s tools. Tools? Weapons that he’d used to murder people. Real people. He had the slasher of many victims hidden below the floor, or he assumed so, at least. Far as he knew, Pillowface might have taken off. There was a part of him that hoped he had, but that part was muted, the thoughts barely registering inside of him.

  His legs rejected the idea of standing, so he gave them some time to accept carrying his body outside. Finally, he was able to get on his feet. Then he waddled over to the glass doors.

  He realized he was sneaking. Stop being stupid. It wasn’t like he was trying to ambush her so why was he crouching? He tugged the handle on the glass doors; they sucked inward and popped when they opened. The loudness made him flinch. Haley heard it over the sizzling meat on the grill. She turned, smiled, and said, “Hey, sleepy head!”

  “Hey, what are you doing?”

  “Grilling, can you believe it?”

  He stepped outside. Dew had dampened the grass, saturating through his socks. Groaning, he bent over and pulled them off. “What’s the occasion?”

  “Not really an occasion. I just thought that maybe you’d worked yourself up quite the appetite after all the hard work you did today.”

  Surprisingly, he wasn’t that hungry, even after smelling their father’s old marinating recipe drenching the hunks of beef. His stomach felt full, though he hadn’t eaten anything since the cold Pop-Tarts this morning. Lying, he said, “I sure am.” From the size of her beaming smile he was glad he’d said it.

  “Well, this is my way of saying thank you. Breaking out Dad’s old grill. He wouldn’t be happy if we’d left it cooped up forever.” She sighed. By the look on her face, it seemed painful remembering their Dad’s love for the grill. Any chance he had, he’d fire it up and rack on some meat. His favorite part of it all would be the two of them acting foolish in the yard while he and Mom observed. Joel yearned for those moments again. Much like he assumed Haley was doing. She’d mentioned the basement. Tha
t was his chance to interrogate her about what, if anything, she’d seen down there.

  Also was a good way to change the subject. “So, the grill was still down there?”

  “Huh?” She glanced back at him. Her eyes were diluted. Could have been from the heat or smoke, but he doubted it. “Yeah, right where D…” She stopped, swallowed, and tried again. “Right where it was left.”

  “Oh?” She was having a hard time discussing it, but he had to know what she’d seen down there. “Where was it?”

  “Up against the wall, right when you walk in.” She took a deep breath. “We really need to go through that stuff down there. Maybe start this weekend, or something. There’s a lot down there that we both need to decide what to do with. A lot of Mom and Dad’s stuff.”

  That was that. She hadn’t seen Pillowface. Either the spot where he’d chosen to hide him was a really good one, or he was gone. One of the two, but for the moment, either hardly seemed important. Haley was saying stuff that made sense for once. That was something they both had to work on. Something neither of them would enjoy, which was why it’d been put off for so long.

  Joel wanted to cry. He was certain that Haley wanted to cry, too. Without realizing he was doing it, he went and hugged her. Stunned at first, she only stood there, but then her arms slowly wrapped around him, pulling him tighter against her.

  It reminded Joel of the hugs he’d get from mom, tight and full of love.

  After a few moments passed, she said, “I’m afraid I’m going to burn the steaks.”

  “You better not,” he said. “You know I like mine bloody.”

  “Me too.” She patted him on the back, and pulled away from the hug. She wiped her eyes with the side of her hand. “Thank you, Joel.”

  Smiling, he gave her a nod.

  Turning back to the grill, Haley shouted. “They’re done!”

  And his stomach growled, finally allowing itself to be hungry.

  (IV)

  Using a biscuit, Pillowface sopped up what was left of the steak sauce on his plate. Joel had snuck him some food down around ten: a steak, potato, biscuit, and some sweet tea, and he couldn’t have brought it at a better time. Although it killed him to move, and his wounds were piercing him with pain, his appetite was as strong as ever.