PillowFace

by Kristopher Rufty

  Girls like Tonya get a book like that, and it’s all downhill.

  She realized Carlee was waiting for a reply. “I was never that kind of girl growing up.”

  “Me neither.”

  “What happened to you?”

  Carlee laughed, “Oh, you want to play that game?”

  “Not really.”

  “I didn’t think so, Ms. Backroom bull rider.” She threw her hand in the air, grinding her hips in the seat. “Come on, ride it! Ride it!”

  Laughing, Haley said, “It was like riding a damn bull, he was hung like one.”

  Carlee gasped. “Really? I had always assumed him to be an average kind of guy.”

  “Hardly. And, he’s cut like a lion.”

  “Muscles?” Her eyes widened, face beaming.

  “Plenty.”

  She whistled. “Wish I would have gone at him first, that could have been me tonight.”

  “Girl, I would have left you lying where I knocked you.”

  They laughed.

  Though, she couldn’t stop thinking about how embarrassing it was to go haywire like that in front of Alan, the ride back with Carlee had helped her to at least feel better.

  Then, like a dying light-bulb flickering off and on in a darkened room, an image of Joel popped into her mind. It was fast, only briefly illuminated in the flash of light. He was reaching out to her, covered in blood. Then it was gone. Her skin went prickly, her bowels felt heavy.

  Where did that come from?

  She suddenly wondered what he had been doing all night, and then wondered why it mattered. Why all of a sudden? What if… But, as soon as the thought had processed, Carlee began singing Pokerface by Lady Gaga, and she didn’t think about it again. Too busy laughing at how terrible of a singer Carlee was.

  The car’s headlights raked across the sign for Marble Lane, and she was relieved to almost be home.

  As Carlee drove and sang, Haley listened, but her attention was diverted out the window. The few houses in her neighborhood were dark. A couple of them had their front porch lights on, as if expecting someone to show up, while others had no lights on at all. The rest of the strip had settled down for the night, probably had been sleeping long before Haley seduced a bookstore owner. She wondered momentarily about Jonesey and where he’d ended up. Did he leave? She didn’t really care.

  “Haley,” he’d say, that disgusting smile on his face. “I’ll take you home.”

  “Oh, no thanks, I’m going to ride with Carlee.”

  “It’s no problem. I’ll take care of that, and you. I’ll dry those tears for you.”

  She shivered. No thanks. That was something she could do without. It was his damn fault why this had happened in the first place. If he wouldn’t have shown up, and then stalked her throughout the store, Alan would have never suggested they go into the back. Then she would have never been in the situation, and wouldn’t have done what she did. She was angry at Jonesey, yet thankful at the same time.

  Then she wondered about Alan. Why had he suggested they go into the back? Couldn’t there have been other places to go? Maybe. Did he plan for this to happen? Maybe some of it, but not the flipping out on him part. She sighed. No way of knowing for sure, but it seemed strange that each point of the night led them to that backroom, to that chair.

  To Alan inside of her.

  They passed Tonya’s house. The place was lit up like a doughnut shop. Tonya must have let Clay Ray come over after all. She gazed through Carlee’s window, and sure enough spotted Ray’s car parked by the house.

  She’s going to get busted.

  In Haley’s driveway, Carlee parked the car, but left the engine idling. “Want me to come in for a while?”

  “Thanks, but that’s all right. It’s late enough already, and I imagine if you come in, a pot of coffee will be brewed, then we’ll get to talking about how much of a fool I am, and we’ll be up all night.”

  “We have been up all night,” said Haley pointing at the digital clock. “It’s going on four.”

  Haley frowned. “Great. I’m going to be a peach to work with in the morning.”

  “You and me, both. Poor Jonesey won’t know what hit him.”

  “Good, maybe he’ll finally take the hint and fuck off.”

  “I doubt it,” said Carlee. “Probably just make him try harder.”

  That was wishful thinking and she knew it. No matter how rude or blunt she could be to him, he’d never stop. Might need to start looking for another job. Why was she bothering to work at all? She had inherited half of the money. After splitting it with Joel, her part was still large enough that she needn’t worry about working for several years. But, she’d kept the job regardless, working as if nothing had happened.

  Why?

  It was too late in the night for such serious thoughts. “All right, well, I guess I’ll see you at work.”

  Carlee scratched her head, “Okay. And, remember what I said.”

  A hand on the door-latch, she gathered her purse with the free one. “Which part?”

  “All of it.”

  Smiling, “You bet.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “You can tell me I was right when it falls into place.”

  “Or, wrong.”

  “Whichever.” She yawned. “Want me to pick you up in the morning?”

  “Nah, you’ll have to leave earlier to do that, get what rest you can.”

  “Okay. I’ll bring some coffee.”

  “You’re a doll.”

  “Don’t I know it?”

  They hugged, exchanged kisses on the cheek, and said their goodnights. Haley climbed out of the car and bumped the door shut with her hip. She threw the strap of her purse over her shoulder and walked to the front door. As she dug for her keys, she noticed Carlee flashing her lights, so she waved at her one last time over her shoulder.

  Then Carlee was gone, leaving her to find her keys in the dark.

  Should’ve left the damn porch light on.

  Finding her keys, she flipped through the ring until locating the correct one for the front door. She unlocked it and went inside.

  The house was just as dark inside as it was out, but it felt so much darker. Up ahead, the stairs were a gray line that drifted up into total blackness. The white walls were oblique patterns all around her. Joel hadn’t bothered to leave her a light on so she could find her way back to her room without breaking her neck. Oh well, didn’t really matter. Her eyes were already adjusted, so she really didn’t need any.

  On her way to the stairs, her shoes clacked loudly against the hardwood floor. Wincing, she stopped, leaned to the side, and raised a foot behind her to take off a shoe. When she placed her foot down, she stood uneven, and much shorter on the left side. Taking off the other one, she was level once again. The floor felt cool under her warm feet. She hung her purse on the banister, then slowly mounted the stairs. She wanted to shower, but was too tired to fret with it tonight. She’d wait until morning, plus, she might wake Joel up, and she didn’t want him knowing what time she’d snuck in.

  At the top of the stairs, Haley turned, and slunk to her room. Once inside, she quietly eased the door shut. She walked to her bed, undressing along the way, and leaving a path of clothes behind her. Naked, she climbed into bed, set the alarm clock, and the alert application on her phone. She had three hours to get some sleep.

  She pulled the blankets over her, sheathing herself in them like a cocoon.

  While Haley drifted off to sleep, her brother’s room sat empty and untouched, and next door, panic and all hell was breaking loose.

  (III)

  “Still nothing,” said Ray, closing his cell-phone.

  Richard slapped his hands on the table. “So, that’s that.”

  Sharon approached him from the side, set a steaming cup of coffee in front of him, then took the seat next to her husband.

  “Something’s happened.” Ray leaned against the island, his
cell-phone in one hand, his other hand tugging at his Black Label Society t-shirt under his leather jacket.

  “Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Richard lifted the mug. Hot vapors of Hazelnut and caffeine coasted into his nostrils, licking his eyes. “She may have just gone out with some friends.”

  “Not likely,” he said, nearly laughing. He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket--which Richard thought was too warm for him to be wearing–and removed a pack of cigarettes. He was about to light one when Richard stopped him.

  “Not in here, pal.”

  “Come on,” he said.

  Opening his mouth to repeat himself, but this time louder, he felt a gentle touch on his hand. He glanced over and saw his wife, just as lovely as the day he’d met her, staring back at him behind her large blue eyes. The same eyes that had persuaded him to do many things over the last twenty years that he never would have done on his own, crazy adventures such as skydiving, going to Mexico for an entire summer, letting his only daughter date scum like ‘Clay’ Ray Hanson. And, much like those times, her eyes were just as successful this go round. “Fine,” he said. “Just this once, because I can see you’re worried about her.”

  “I am.”

  “And, why are you convinced that something’s amiss?” That was the English Professor in him talking. He doubted Ray even knew what a word like amiss meant.

  “Huh?”

  He was right. “Why do you think something’s wrong?”

  “Oh, because, we were supposed to…get together…tonight.”

  “Maybe she had other plans.”

  “No, she didn’t.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because, she sent me this about an hour before I was supposed to get here.” He flipped open his cell phone, and thumbed some buttons. When he found what he was looking for, he passed it over to Richard. He held it in such a way that Sharon could look over his shoulder and read it, too. In a small, hardly legible font was a sentence; Taking a shower, making myself pretty for you….

  Seeing words this personal and written by his own daughter made him boil inside. He could feel the back of his neck becoming hot and sweaty. “She sent this to you?”

  “Yep,” he answered through a cloud of smoke.

  “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t put this phone down your throat.”

  Ray’s eyes bulged, obviously shocked.

  “Richard,” said Sharon. “Don’t be nasty.” She took the phone from him and offered it back to Ray. Reluctant to take it, he stepped forward, cautiously reaching across the table for it.

  “I’m going to be nasty,” he said. “My daughter,” he felt a nudge, “Excuse me, our daughter doesn’t need to be sending messages like this to him.”

  “I know you hate me,” he said, “but can’t you see where I’m coming from?”

  “Yes,” said Sharon. “We can see that very much, but you have to understand, it’s coming off more like jealousy.”

  “What?”

  “You’re acting as if you seem more worried about what she’s doing than over what may have happened to her.”

  Scoffing, “That’s not it at all.”

  “Whatever the case may be, you just need to express yourself better.”

  More reasons why he loved this woman, why he’d married, devoted his whole life to her, and fathered her child. She was worth all those dangerous trips and adventures. Worth every damn one of them. She’d hit the nail on the head with that last comment, and he was proud.

  Then she turned to him. “And, so do you, for that matter.”

  How could she betray him like this?

  “What are you talking about, Sharon?”

  “The way you’re talking to Ray, you need to calm down. He’s obviously upset, and so are you, but neither of you are expressing it properly. This should be a shared moment between you guys. Father and, pardon the lack of terminology here, lover, teaming up to uncover the reasoning behind Tonya’s disappearance. Yet, you’re not and are close to fighting and you know it.”

  Richard looked at Ray. They shared the same look of agreement. She was right.

  “All right, Ray,” said Richard, “I’ll admit, it’s odd that she might have just taken off. But, did you ever consider that maybe she just blew you off for something else to do instead?”

  “She wouldn’t do that.” He sounded certain.

  “And, why is that?”

  He smiled, “Because, I’m Clay Ray. And, no one does that to Clay Ray.”

  What small amount of pity he had felt toward this kid quickly evaporated. “Get the hell out of my house.”

  “What?” The same dumb, shocked expression popped up on his face.

  Sharon leaned over. “Richard?”

  He held a hand up to her before she could say anything else. “I don’t want to hear any more about how I need to express myself better, Sharon. That’s bullshit. I’m expressing myself just fine.” He looked at Ray. “Right?”

  He shrugged, the cigarette flopping from his mouth. The ash needed to be discarded before it dropped onto the floor. And, God help Ray if he spilled ashes all over his expensive tile.

  “I’m pissed off, and I think I’m expressing that clearly. I mean, there’s no way he could misread what I’m directing here. So, I’m going to say it one more time, get out or I’ll throw you out.”

  He nodded. Curving his hand into the shape of a bowl, he took the cigarette out of his mouth, and flicked the ashes in his palm. “Do me a favor…”

  “No.”

  He groaned. “Just please have her call me and at least let me know she’s all right.”

  “If she wants to call you, she will. Are we clear?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. God forbid a piece of our property damages the goods of Clay Ray.”

  Walking like a child being sent to his room without supper, he left. They sat in silence until hearing the muffled roar of his car as it drove away. After that, Sharon looked at Richard, pity showing on her face. “You were awfully rude, Richie.”

  “Oh, please. A kid like that needs a kick in the ass every now and then. Did you see how convinced he was?” Imitating Ray, he sat up straight, twisting his features to best match his. “No one does that to Clay Ray.” He shook his head. “Please.”

  “Well, he’s right. Have you ever known Tonya to stand him up?”

  Surely, there had to have been at least one occasion where she had been smart enough to do so, but he couldn’t think of any presently. Without an answer to offer her, he only shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Does seem strange.”

  “Maybe she had an epiphany. Or, someone better came along.”

  “Better than Clay Ray?” She asked, her smile reeking of sarcasm.

  “God,” he said. “She could only go downhill from there.”

  They shared a laugh at the kid’s expense. “But, seriously, what if he was right?” Don’t you remember the side door being left open?” Sharon’s sarcasm was gone, and all that showed was a mother’s worry.

  He sighed. “We agreed she probably left that door open herself after she was lying out in the sun.” That explanation did nothing to falter Sharon’s worry. “Look, if she’s not home by noon, I’ll call around to some of her friends. And, if that doesn’t turn up anything, I’ll go look for her myself.”

  “Not without me.”

  “That’s fine.” He raised his hand to her hair, combing a few loose strands away from her lovely face. Hardly a wrinkle, or worry line. Keep this up, and she’ll be showing plenty. He was angry at Tonya for making her mother worry like this, for making him worry like this, too. Though he wasn’t showing it, he was scared to death that something was wrong. What if she’s hurt? Or, was in an accident? He found himself wanting to laugh. Sharon had been right all along. He didn’t know how to express his true feelings.

  Wouldn’t do any good, he thought. Me flying off the deep end with Sharon, and
not to mention Clay damn Ray, so close to teetering off the brink themselves.

  “So,” said Sharon. “For the time being, it looks like we have the house to ourselves.”

  He smiled. “Yes, it appears so.”

  A sheepish look on her face, she said, “Want to join me upstairs?”

  “That’s a dumb question. When do I not want to join you upstairs?”

  She laughed. “That’s an even dumber question,” then stood up, untying the robe she’d been wearing. Opening it for him, she gave him a quick glance of her soft naked skin that was hidden behind the cloth. He saw the dark tuft of groomed pubic hair briefly before she closed the robe back. “Come on.”

  “I’ll be right up, let me guzzle the rest of this coffee and put my cup away.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Want me to break out the blindfold?”

  “And restraints?”

  She bit down on her bottom lip, excited. “Want me to?” She looked as if she had to pee very badly and was holding it.

  “It’s been a long time.”

  “All right. Don’t keep me waiting, or I’ll really make it hurt.”

  “That’s how I like it.”

  She laughed. “Yes, you do. You’re such a bad boy.”

  “You love it.”

  “Never said that I didn’t.” With a beaming grin, she pranced away from him on a path to the stairs.

  He pictured her waiting for him, lying on her side in nothing but high heels, gently rubbing the blindfold over the slopes of her breasts, tickling the dark coins of her nipples.

  Something stirred in his pajama pants.

  Hello, old friend.

  He grabbed his coffee, and chugged the last little bit.

  Damn that Ray. Coming over in the middle of the damn night, upset because Tonya had ditched him. That’s all it was, she’d ditched him, and he wanted to get her back by getting us involved.

  That had to be it. In a neighborhood like this, nothing bad happened. That’s why they’d moved here. The country. Peace and quiet. They knew their neighbors and vice versa, a tight community of folks that watched your house for you when you went out of town. That kid next door, though he has a weird taste for movies, is actually a trustworthy kid. His sister is nice, too. When they’d leave on their adventures—normally the ones that Sharon had convinced him to seize–he felt comfortable in knowing that he’d come home to an undisturbed house. With those two next door there was no way someone could get in and take something…or someone.