Candice Hern

by The Regency Rakes Trilogy

  "I don't know."

  "Please."

  "But I know so few people in Town."

  "I will be there," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

  "Yes. You."

  Meg was only vaguely aware of the sound of his crutches crashing to the floor as he gathered her in his arms.

  Without waiting like before, without teasing her with desire, without giving her a chance to refuse, he captured her lips with his own.

  Oh, Good Lord!

  His lips were gentle and light as they moved over hers in that first touch of discovery. This was not her first kiss, but it might as well have been for all the new feelings it aroused in her. His lips were so incredibly soft. She had not expected a man's lips to be so soft. How could such a light touch ignite such a fire in her? Meg leaned into him, wanting more somehow. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and he responded by lowering one hand to the small of her back and pressing her closer.

  Ah, but he felt good. She inched one hand up the back of his neck, and threaded her fingers through the long, blond locks. Oh, God.

  Sedge lifted his mouth slightly and Meg opened her eyes to find him gazing at her with a look of such longing, she thought she might die. Terrence was wrong. She was not different. She was not without feeling. She did, after all, have desires like other women. More so. For no other woman could have ever wanted anyone as much as she wanted Sedge.

  "Meg," he whispered against her lips. "Ah, Meg."

  He pulled her against him more tightly as his lips descended again, this time with a crushing force that astonished Meg momentarily, before she responded with a surprising passion of her own. Opening his mouth, his tongue teased the seam of her lips. Meg shuddered slightly as she realized his mouth was compelling hers to open for him. Unfamiliar with this sort of kiss, she hesitated only briefly before shyly parting her lips. His tongue plunged in to meet hers, boldly probing her mouth with a fire and urgency totally unexpected. She followed his lead, exploring and tasting him in a way she had never imagined.

  Meg knew she should stop him before he got the wrong impression, before he thought her a perfect wanton. But she completely lacked the will to do so. Perhaps she meant to prove to herself that she was not so different from other women after all. Even if she was only now discovering it for the first time.

  She did not know how long they clung to one another, exploring each other's mouths, when his lips finally left hers and began to trace a fiery path down her throat and neck. She tilted her head back, encouraging his exploration, and gave an involuntary moan of pleasure. Oh, God, she had no idea it could be like this.

  Something this good had to be real. It had to be. Surely he would not kiss her like this, set her body on fire like this, if he did not care for her. When his lips traveled back up to her jaw, her temple, her eyes, she ceased to doubt his feelings. He cared. He loved her. He must.

  When he reclaimed her mouth, it was with a sweet gentleness flavored with such promise that Meg thought she might collapse with joy. At last, he lifted his head and looked again into her eyes. And his eyes crinkled up into a smile.

  Chapter 13

  "Meg, Meg. Do you know how long I have wanted to do that?"

  He smiled into her eyes and rested his forehead against hers. "You have no idea, my dear, how pleasant it is to kiss a woman without having to twist my spine down to her level. It's as though you were made just for me." He kissed her softly at each corner of her mouth. "Tall and beautiful, with the most delicious lips. And eyes I can look right into as I kiss you like this. We are perfect together, Meg. Absolutely perfect."

  She gave him the most dazzling smile, and his heart soared. God, how he wanted this woman. He pulled her closer, cradling her head against his neck. The clean smell of soap and wild violets tantalized him as he buried his nose in her luxurious red hair. Soon enough, he was kissing her neck, savoring the taste of her. He found a pulse point at the base of her throat and teased it with his tongue. Her racing pulse told him how much she wanted him, and even though she had not spoken a word, it was enough. He knew.

  Sedge kissed her again and marveled once more at her uninhibited response as her body melted against his. Her lips were moist and parted, inviting.

  He kept his weight on his good leg as best he could, but also needed the right leg for balance. The doctor would scold at his disregard for the splinted limb. But Sedge did not care. Not now. He was damned if he was going to move now.

  He clasped her to his chest again and simply held her, his hand against the back of her head. He thought of all the things he wanted to say, and how to say them. He had not meant to rush his fences. He had wanted to speak to her brother first, to state his intentions formally, before saying anything to Meg.

  He had planned to declare his serious and honorable interest in Meg, ask Sir Terrence's permission to pay his formal addresses, and suggest that Meg come to Town for the Season to celebrate their betrothal. He wanted to show her off, to show all of society what a treasure they had so casually overlooked.

  He had been foiled in his plans last night, with Sir Terrence so obviously enjoying the company of his friend Mr. Hawksworthy. When he unexpectedly found Meg in the library this morning instead of her brother, he had been momentarily rattled.

  She had looked so beautiful sitting there, with the morning sun streaming in and burnishing her coppery curls. He wished he had already spoken to Sir Terrence, for he had desired nothing more at that moment than to tell her how much he wanted her. But it wasn't right And more than anything, he wanted to do this right.

  He had tried to keep to his noble plan, to speak briefly of inconsequential matters and then back out of the room and await her brother. But she was completely and utterly irresistible. Instead of backing away, he had been drawn to her as inexorably as she had been drawn to him. And he did not regret it. Oh no, he thought as he held her close, he did not regret it.

  But now that he had overstepped the bounds of propriety, it no longer seemed important to speak to her brother first. That would come later. Just now, he wanted to tell her how he felt, how he loved her, how he wanted a life together with her. She must surely realize some of this already, after those kisses that had sparked a blaze of passion between them such as he had never known before. But it was important to put it all into words for her.

  Only, he did not know how. He did not know how to tell her what was in his heart. He did not know how to put it into words. Women, he knew, set great store on words. Look at how they idolized that Byron fellow. But Sedge was no poet. He was a simple man, with simple feelings. And he did not know how to put them into words.

  He nudged his shoulder and she lifted her head to look at him. He wished she would say something. It might make it easier. But he knew in his heart that she waited for him to speak, that it was up to him to speak first. And he wanted to do it right.

  Sedge took her face in both hands and looked deep into her eyes, willing her to believe him, to trust him. He opened his mouth to speak, but the only sound to come out was her name, over and over, like a prayer. "Meg. Meg." The words he wanted were all racing around in his head, as fast as the beating of his heart. Words of desire and love and passion and need. Disjointed and chaotic, his mind could not seem to organize them into any sort of order. When he spoke again, they came spilling out, uncontrollably.

  "I want you, Meg," he said as he searched her eyes for understanding. "I want you. You obsess me. You are so beautiful. Everything about you is so beautiful." His thumbs caressed the sides of her face. "I want to let your glorious hair down and bury my face in it. I want to hold your magnificent body naked in my arms. I want to make love to you, morning and night."

  Sedge watched in dismay as Meg's eyes widened in shock and confusion. Damnation. He was doing this all wrong. "Ah, Meg." He pulled her head back down on his shoulder and held her tight. "I am not very good at this, am I?" he said softly, close to her ear. "It is just that... that I want you so much! I want us to be
together. I want to be with you, Meg. More than I've ever wanted to be with any other woman. I know I could make you happy. I know I could. I can give you everything you ever dreamed of. And more. I am a rich man, you know."

  He thought she flinched slightly, but perhaps it was just surprise. From low in her throat came a single strained word. "Rich?"

  "Oh, yes," he said, nuzzling her neck. "You need not worry about that. I can give you anything you have ever wanted. I can make you happy. I can. I know I can. I said you were perfect for me, and I meant it. More than any other woman, Meg." He rained soft kisses along her neck and ear. "We could be so good together, make such beautiful love together. I know we could. You have such a passionate nature, so much fire. Ah, Meg, my angel. I want so much for us to be together. Put me out of my misery. Say you will have me. Please, Meg."

  * * *

  Meg dragged her head out of the clouds and fell back to earth with a thud. Oh, dear God. Mr. Herriot had been right, after all.

  He does not marry them.

  She had been so happy. She had been flying, soaring with the shared passion of Sedge's kisses. She had been so lost to him that she had wanted to melt right into him. And, as always, she had been entranced by his smile. By his eyes.

  He will only make one sort of offer to a woman.

  What a fool she had been!

  With a firm resolve to maintain her composure, Meg gently pulled away and stepped back slightly within the circle of Sedge's arms, her hands resting lightly on his chest. She steeled herself against those eyes still burning with passion, determined not to show him how much his words had affected her.

  "Let me be certain I understand," she said, in a calm voice. "You want us to be together. To make love together. Morning and night, I believe you said."

  He flashed his most seductive grin. "Oh, yes, Meg. I have never wanted anything so much in my life."

  "And you would put your wealth at my disposal?" she continued. "Give me anything I wanted?"

  "Of course."

  "Jewels, for instance?"

  "The best, the brightest, the biggest money can buy," he said with enthusiasm.

  "And carriages? Horses?"

  "Anything, my love." He was positively beaming. "The best from Thornhill or Tattersall's or any other stable you wish. And carriages to make you the envy of every woman in London."

  "And a house in Town, no doubt?"

  "Naturally," he said. "It only awaits your special touch to make it your own."

  "Naturally," she said through clenched teeth. So, he had the house already. Had probably used it for all his past mistresses. And now he expected her to move in and take their place. If she were not so angry, she might have died on the spot of mortification. How dare he! Meg dropped her hands to Sedge's shoulders, and gently pushed away.

  "Meg?"

  Sedge allowed her to extricate herself from his embrace, and she turned away from his imploring gaze. She held her hands tightly clasped in front of her in an attempt to still their trembling. How could he have asked such a thing of her? A knot of anger began to twist like a knife in her chest—anger at Sedge for daring to so insult her, and anger at herself for allowing him to believe he could do so.

  She kept her back to him. "I am sorry, my lord," she said, trying to keep her voice level, "but I cannot accept your offer. I think it is best that you leave Thornhill at once."

  Meg heard Sedge catch his breath, as though startled. Had he been so sure of her, then? He did not speak, and Meg turned and headed toward the library door. She no longer wanted to be in the same room with him. She had to get away.

  "But, Meg ...," Sedge said in a choked, plaintive voice. He caught her by the arm, but she wrenched away and stormed out of the room. She did not stay to hear what further insults he might hurl at her and neither did she turn around to look at him. If she looked at him again, she might feel obliged to strike him. She had to get away.

  She hurried through the corridor, slowing her pace when she encountered one of the housemaids and not wishing to appear anything other than normal. Besides, she need not hurry. He could hardly run after her with his broken leg. And if he so much as tried, she might be inclined to break the other for him. Holding her head high, she slowly walked up the stairs. As she neared her bedchamber, however, her pace became faster until she almost ran when she finally reached her own room. She flung open the door, slammed it behind her, and threw herself headlong on the bed.

  What a fool she had been!

  Taking deep gulps of air in hopes of calming her racing heart, she considered her own stupidity. Mr. Herriot had tried to warn her. But the moment Sedge kissed her, she forgot all about those warnings and twisted the whole situation to suit her own notions. But Sedge's notions were very different. He wanted her for his mistress. He could not have been more plain. He wanted her body and was willing to pay for it.

  What a fool she had been!

  Despite her attempts to remain calm, Meg could no longer hold back her tears. She buried her face in a pillow and wept for her broken heart. Her entire body was wracked with uncontrollable sobs as she replayed in her mind all that had taken place, all the words spoken, and tried to make some sense of it

  She still did not fully understand all that had happened in the library. Terrence was right about one thing: she was very naive where men were concerned. She should never have let him kiss her. Even knowing that Sedge was a rake and remembering all that his cousin had said, she had not pulled away from his kiss. Not like she had done before. Why had she let him kiss her when she knew how dangerous it would be?

  No, that was not entirely true. Meg had not in fact, known how dangerous it could be. She had been kissed a few times in the past. Young men had more than once tried to steal a kiss behind the stables or in the gardens, for which she generally had boxed their ears. But even when she had allowed it out of sheer curiosity, it had never been more than a simple meeting of lips. No sparks. No fire. Not at all dangerous.

  She had not been even remotely prepared for what Sedge had done to her. Though his first kiss had begun not all that differently from the others, it had ignited a spark between them almost instantly, and her body had caught fire. That was the only way she could define how she had felt with him, as though she were on fire. And the only difference between Sedge and all those other young men was that she loved him, so she had assigned all her own passion to love. She had been certain that two people who shared such a fiery moment must also share deep feelings for one another. For Meg could not imagine that it was the mere touching of lips and tongues that had caused her body to react so. It was because it was Sedge. It was all wrapped up in her love for him. It was a part of the expression of her love for him. It only followed, did it not that his passion also sprung from love? As hers had?

  And it was that perfect blending of love and desire that had caused her to allow him to do those other things, to put his tongue in her mouth and press their bodies together in that intimate manner. She had no experience of such things, but she had wanted it. Oh, how she had wanted it He had made her want it

  And like the naive idiot that she was, she thought he made her want it because he loved her. Because that's what people in love did.

  What a fool she had been.

  Just when Meg was certain that he loved her, he had thrown those awful words at her. Though surprised at first by the boldness of his declaration, she thought he might simply be overcome with the ardor of the moment. That words of love, even words of marriage, would soon follow. If they had followed, the rest would have been acceptable. For if Sedge had loved her and wanted to marry her, she would be pleased that he also desired her body. It would be right.

  But those words had never come. He only wanted her body. And he would use his wealth to tempt her, to give her anything she wanted in return.

  Meg sobbed and sobbed, pounding her fist into the pillow until it was flat. She was humiliated that Sedge could even imagine that she would consider such an offer. And she
was embarrassed at her own foolish infatuation and how it had allowed her to so badly misjudge him. How could she have loved such a man?

  Terrence had said she was naive. Well, she would not be naive any longer. Now she knew what Gram meant when she said all men were lustful creatures. Meg would never again mistake a man's lust for love. She had learned her lesson well.

  Her sobbing subsided at last to a gentle cry. She sat up, swung her legs over the side of the bed, and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. Thank God he was leaving. He was leaving this very morning and she would never have to see him again.

  It occurred to her that when Sedge and his cousin departed, Terrence and Gram would expect her to be available to say farewell, to send them on their way with kind words and good wishes. Meg did not care to be a party to their leave-taking. She could never look him in the eye again, and Gram and her brother would certainly find her behavior odd. She must get away and stay away until they had left Thornhill.

  She began pulling at the tapes of her morning dress. She would take Bristol out for a hard, long gallop.

  Chapter 14

  Sedge stood in the library for some minutes, without moving, almost without thinking. His thoughts had been scrambled and agitated before, but now it seemed his brain had turned itself off entirely. He felt numb, unable to move or think or speak.

  At last, he heard voices in the hall and was obliged to stir himself. He bent to pick up his crutches, lifted himself onto them, and hobbled to the door. He was met by Sir Terrence and Albert.

  "Ah, Sedgewick," Sir Terrence said. "I understand you are leaving us this morning."

  "Yes."

  "I have told him, Sedge, that we will be taking my carriage," Albert said. "It is all packed and stands ready for us. Sir Terrence has agreed to send your curricle along with a groom later."

  "If you do not mind the delay of a day or two," Sir Terrence said. "I am afraid there is some pressing business today that does not allow me to spare anyone. But I will certainly have your rig and team driven to Town as soon as possible."