“He is just lovely. If I had a son I would want him to be exactly like that. He’s so warm and kind and so in tune with us girls and the way we want everything to be perfect.”
“Well, that’s hardly surprising mother as he’s a big girl himself,” I said. “And before you go wishing him to be your son, please note that he hasn’t taken off his coat –” (which was bloody ankle-length and made him look like an extra from Pride and Feckin Prejudice) “– therefore you don’t know what horrors are lurking beneath.”
“Do be quiet, Ruby, and give the boy a chance! He really does seem to know what he’s talking about and has so many wonderful contacts.”
“Yes, yes, yes, I know all that but just because he has them doesn’t mean that I want them.”
“What about this dress? He seems to be a bit unsure as to whether or not you’re making the right decision about it. He’s very knowledgeable about designers so why don’t you take his advice?”
“Because, Mother, I don’t want to end up trussed up like a Christmas turkey which is exactly how he would have me looking! I will only wear what I feel comfortable in. I want my day to be special. I only ever intend to get married once, thanks be to feck, therefore I want to do it my way. I don’t want it spoiled or ruined and I don’t need to be constantly told what to do.”
“Oh, I can sympathise with him there all right,” Mammy said, adopting her knowing expression. “You never did like to be told what to do and I should know. I’ve had enough experience of fighting the losing battle since you were a child.”
Frankie saved the day by literally bouncing out the door and doing a jig on the footpath. Her new-found lust for life was catching and soon even I was smiling (slightly).
“He’s just great!” Mammy repeated to Frankie. “It’s a pity more men aren’t like him.”
“If all men were like him, Mother, there’d be slim pickings for the rest of us. It’s hard enough to find a good man these days without the likes of you wishing that they were all gay.”
“I didn’t mean that I’d like them to switch teams so to speak,” Mammy said whilst Frankie sucked in her cheeks and stared very hard at the display in Rose’s window. (What is it with older people comparing sexuality to five-a-side football?) “It’s just that he’s such a sensitive soul.”
After Mammy had left, still telling anyone who would listen to her about how wonderful she found Gabriel to be, Frankie marvelled at how worldly wise and accepting she was.
“You don’t know how lucky you are,” she said, shaking her head in apparent disbelief. “Can you imagine my mother’s reaction if she’d got to meet him? Dear God, it doesn’t even bear thinking about. She’d interrogate him to within an inch of his life whilst trying to analyse what had made him gay in the first place, as if it was a disease. Then she’d be announcing that every passing male should clench their butt cheeks to avoid possible attack.”
Even I had to agree that when it came to being a modern woman Mammy was up there with the best of them. She was living her own life, running her own business, back in the dating game and an official woman of the world and I had to admit that I was proud of her.
“Your mother is wonderful,” Gabriel announced as he appeared outside, clutching his fancy cigarettes and grinning broadly.
“I would tell the two of you to get a room only there’d be no point,” I said, shuddering. “Good God, the mutual appreciation is starting to become a bit overwhelming.”
“That was supposed to be a compliment,” Gabriel said, sounding weary. “I can never say the right thing with you, can I?”
“Jok-ing!” I replied. “Lighten up.”
“No, seriously. She is a fantastic person. You’re so lucky to have a mother who accepts you for who you are and allows you to be yourself. I wish I was as privileged.”
He looked incredibly sad and I stared at him in surprise.
“Are you all right, Gabriel?” Frankie asked, suddenly concerned that the upbeat character who had been there five seconds before seemed to have disappeared.
“I’m fine really. I just wish that things were different but, no matter what else you can do in life, there’s no turning back time or changing the past.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“Ruby, he mightn’t want to talk about it,” Frankie hissed through the corner of her mouth.
“No, honestly, it’s fine. It’s part of who I am at this stage and it always helps to talk. Putting it mildly, my mum and dad aren’t quite as accepting as your mother is, Ruby. I’ve been like this ever since I can remember. I never quite fitted in at school, always got picked on by the boys and positively loathed sports but the girls loved me although not obviously in a normal boy–girl way. They used to come to me with all their relationship problems and I’d hang out with them and go shopping or whatever else they were doing. I always felt far more comfortable in their company, although I got to quite like the boys in time.”
I nodded, thinking that I had always been the direct opposite. I had loved sports, hated other girls and would have stuck their heads down the toilet if they’d even so much as mentioned the state of their relationships to me. Poor Gabriel wouldn’t have stood a chance with me around then (not that he was faring much better as it was, mind you).
“After a period of time, most people knew I wasn’t going to settle down with a nice girl and make babies. Most people except –”
“Your mother and father,” Frankie finished for him whilst he nodded sadly in response.
“I sat them down one day to tell them, but hardly got to opening my mouth before they both erupted on me. According to them, I was a disgrace. A freak of nature that should have been drowned at birth. What I was doing and all that I stood for was unnatural and unhealthy and it was to stop immediately. I was the talk of the parish and they weren’t having it.”
“How did they find out before you told them?” Frankie asked softly.
“One of the boys who used to torment me at school took great delight in telling my father,” he said.
“Vicious little fecker! I know what I’d have done with him,” I responded. Gabriel wasn’t one of my favourite people in the world but I could never imagine being that cruel towards anybody.
“Do you still see your parents?” Frankie asked as Gabriel hung his head, deep in thought.
“I haven’t seen them since,” he said matter-of-factly. “I was given a choice that day. Either I stopped what I was doing and started making amends for all the hurt I’d caused, or else I got out of the town and never showed my face again.”
“That’s very harsh,” I said, not quite believing what I was hearing.
“It was a reality for a lot of gay people years ago, only you never got to hear about it,” he went on. “We paved the way for the younger generation. People are much more liberal these days. Apart from my mother and father of course, along with their cronies who would probably re-enact the Salem Witch Hunt and burn me at the stake in my pink T-shirt if they got half the chance. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I usually pretend my parents are dead or retired to the Continent if I’m ever asked. After all, who wants to let the world know that their own parents despise them enough to give them up in favour of their precious principles?”
“Or their lifestyle and freedom,” I murmured.
I looked at Gabriel and saw a raw hurt in his eyes that must mirror my own and for the first time felt that there was an understanding and empathy between us.
“Well, if it’s any consolation, I think that they’re the disgrace and the freaks,” I said sternly.
“Coming from you,” Gabriel answered with a smile, “that means a lot.”
“Yeah, well, don’t get too excited. I’m still not wearing a veil and if you try to persuade me that I should be wearing high heels again, I’ll feckin throttle you with my bare hands.”
Chapter 39
Rose took my final measurements when we went back into the shop and wrote them all down on a p
iece of paper whilst humming with a pin perched in the corner of her mouth.
She had done more detailed drawings of her original ideas and I had fallen instantly in love with them and hadn’t needed to consult with anybody with regard to whether or not I was making the correct decision in hiring her. I knew in my heart of hearts that I was doing the right thing and viewed her shop almost like a magical kingdom which was shut off from the rest of the world. I didn’t know why but every time I went there I felt as if I had ‘come home’ for some strange reason and still got the feeling that the place was very familiar in a weird sort of way. Although I’d stopped airing my views on the subject out loud after everyone started giving me funny looks, obviously convinced that I was imagining it.
“Ruby,” Frankie had said the last time it was mentioned, “you have only ever been in Belfast a handful of times in your entire life. It’s hard enough to try and get you to go shopping in a normal street that actually has shops in front of you, never mind one that doesn’t, so you would never have had any reason to be anywhere near here.”
Now she was looking at me accusingly. “You’ve got that look on your face again,” she commented.
“What look?” Mammy asked.
“The one which is usually followed with her wondering why she finds it so familiar around here. She’s convinced she’s been here before.”
“Were you a student here?” Rose enquired upon hearing our conversation.
“No,” I said. “Why do you ask?”
“No reason. There’s a doctor’s and a dentist on this row that have been here for years and are quite popular with the students because they’re near the city centre, but there’s nothing else. The street was mostly residential years ago but not any more. Most of the houses have been renovated into offices now.”
“Okay. I must be officially doting,” I conceded.
“Too much stress about the wedding,” Mammy said knowingly before she was jumped on from all angles.
“I am not stressed. What the hell would I be stressed about?” I demanded.
“Stressed? Why would she be stressed?” Gabriel enquired hotly. “That’s what I’m here for. I’m like a giant stress-ball for brides to squeeze,” he said, deftly stepping out of my way before I managed to strangle him with my bare hands, although for a change I was only joking.
Mammy’s mobile rang as Rose was finishing with me.
“Hello. Yes, it’s Isobel speaking. Aisling, how nice to hear from you!”
I immediately started to pay attention to the conversation, firstly because I liked Aisling and secondly because I knew she’d be unlikely to be calling from Donegal for a spot of idle chit-chat.
“But why would she be doing that?” I heard Mammy ask in a panicky voice. “I’ll tell her right away and let you know what I’m doing,” she said in a firmer tone whilst looking at me.
“What?” I said as Mammy hung up.
“Nosy cow!” she said fiercely.
“Who? Aisling?” I asked in surprise.
“Of course I don’t mean Aisling,” Mammy said crossly. “Aisling was simply ringing to warn me. Judith was snooping all round the cottage earlier on, looking in through all the windows and taking photographs of the house and the garden.”
I felt myself immediately stiffen in response to this information. “What the hell does that interfering bitch think she’s playing at?” I said angrily.
“Well, if I knew that I wouldn’t be standing here wondering what I’m supposed to do now,” said Mammy. “I’m rather far away to do anything. Besides, I wouldn’t want to get Aisling into any trouble. I can hardly ring Judith up and say, ‘Sorry, love, but would you mind removing yourself from my home when I’m not there?’”
“No, you wouldn’t like to do that but I wouldn’t mind,” I said, grabbing my mobile and walking towards the window where I would have the best reception. “Do you have the number for the hotel?” I asked.
“I think I have a card here that has the number on it somewhere,” Mammy said as she practically emptied out the contents of her handbag and eventually found it along with a pile of crumpled receipts and a broken lipstick. “Here we go,” she said at last with a flourish.
I took the card and rang the number. It was answered on the first ring by Aisling.
“Aisling, don’t say a word. Pretend you don’t recognise me. It’s Ruby here. Is that trollop in the vicinity?”
“Yes, madam, I’ll get her for you now,” Aisling said in a smiling voice.
“Put her on like a good girl. Thanks for warning Mammy and don’t worry. I’m not going to get you in any trouble. I’m sorting it now and going to have a bit of fun in the process.”
A pause and Judith came on the line. “Judith McQueen speaking.”
“Judith,” I said in my most cheerful tone. “Do me a favour and get your arse off my mother’s property. You were spotted taking photos and acting suspiciously this morning by someone I’ve hired to look after the place while Mammy is away.”
I could hear her bumbling like an eejit on the other end of the phone.
“What’s the matter, sweetie? Cat got your tongue? I’d be very careful about what you do in future as I have a surveillance team on standby and they’re recording every movement you’re making. I could ask them to give the tapes to the guards right now for trespassing on private property and taking illegal photographs of the said private property.”
Mammy and Frankie looked on in astonishment whilst Gabriel gazed at me with what looked suspiciously like pride in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean any harm –” Judith began.
“Really? Did you not?”
“I-I’m just taking photographs of the whole estate – its features,” she fumbled. “For – for a brochure – you see –”
“My mother hasn’t given you an answer or signed anything so I wouldn’t be too presumptuous about her intentions if I were you.”
“No – I –”
“Stay away from her home. Don’t go anywhere near it again or we’ll take legal action.”
“No – I –”
I slammed down the phone.
“Stupid feckin cow. Needs a good clip round the ear if you ask me,” I muttered.
“A surveillance team?” Mammy said. “Outside my house?”
“There are so many cars parked around there that they could be in any one of them,” I explained. “Sitting with a fully functional recording system which would mean that they could tape everything that happens in or around the cottage.”
“Feckin James Bond, eat your heart out!” Frankie said, laughing. “I am seriously going to have to have words with Luke about allowing you to watch so many spy and espionage thrillers. They’ve obviously rubbed off on you a bit too much.”
“And correct me if I’m wrong but did I just hear you call someone ‘sweetie’?” Gabriel said slyly.
“Ah, Jaysus! I have definitely been spending too much time under your dangerous influence. Next thing I’ll be wearing a corset and painting my toenails.”
“Ruby, you are my child but sometimes your bullishness astounds even me,” my mother said incredulously. “I cannot believe that you phoned Judith and threatened her with legal action.”
“Didn’t it do the trick? I don’t think we’ll be having any more problems with her for a while but, just to be sure, I think a wee trip to Donegal is in order just to double-check. Frankie, go and talk nicely to your mother and stepdaughter and tell them that you and Owen are going away for a few days. Mandy was supposed to be meeting us here after we’re finished so I’m going to give her a ring and command her to tell her boss that the only gossip she’ll be hearing for the foreseeable future will be of the seaside variety. And as for you,” I said, addressing Gabriel sternly, “you can come too but only if you promise not to entice my future husband into singing any more tuneless duets. And you’re not allowed to wear that basque either – too many people with dicky hearts could see you and then where would we all be?”
Mammy and Frankie looked at each other whilst Gabriel looked at me questioningly with raised eyebrows whilst chewing his lip thoughtfully.
“Any chance we could get a move on?” I said. “We don’t have all day and some of us have a wedding to organise.”
“Aye aye, sir!” Gabriel said, saluting me and looking for all the world like a Russian soldier in his military-style coat (all he needed was a furry squirrel on his head and he’d have played the part well).
“You’re sure about this?” Frankie asked.
“Are you still standing there?” I demanded. “Phone. Husband. Now. We’ll look on this as a mini hen night.”
“But the men will be going too!” Frankie said.
“Well, then they can have a practice run at the stag night and take Donal and Grumpy Slippers with them.”
“Grumpy Slippers?” Gabriel asked in bewilderment.
“I’ll explain on the way,” I said.
We were there for a further forty minutes, watching as Rose worked her magic on Frankie, took measurements, made suggestions and added little details here and there to the drawings she had prepared. She had measured Carly on the last visit, so she wasn’t with us, much to our flower girl’s disgust.
She handed me her sketches once more for final approval.
“Now you’re sure that these are what you want?” she asked.
“If my bridesmaid is happy, then I’m happy,” I said. “And the flower girl will be ecstatic as well. I can’t wait to show her what you’ve designed.”
“I think they’re wonderful,” Frankie said in glee. “I couldn’t get any better if I went to a specialist designer shop and I really mean that.”
Rose glowed in her praise and blushed even more when Gabriel told her that she was very talented – which nearly gave me a heart attack never mind anyone else.
“What? Praise? A compliment? An actual admission that perhaps I am capable of making one or two decisions on my own?” I said. “Wow!”
“Yeah, all right, Sarky Knickers, let’s go to Donegal where you can introduce me to Grumpy Slippers and my happiness will be complete,” Gabriel muttered with a grin whilst my mother smiled over at us as if we were both her children (heaven forbid) having a falling out.
Anyone for Me? Page 22