“Feeling better?” Haley asked from the other side of the couch.
“Much better thanks, I almost feel like myself again.” I replied.
“That’s great.” She spoke with a smile, “I have to get going. I have work tomorrow.” She added. After a moment of thinking I sat up.
“Thanks for being here with me. It means a lot to me. I needed the company.” I said, smiling at her gratefully.
“I know. You don't have to tell me what’s going on, but I could tell you needed a friend.” She replied, standing up.
“Thank you.” I said with a soft smile.
She walked to my room and gathered her belongings. Once she was ready, she returned and looked at me through narrowed eyes, “You sure you’re alright? Not going to get drunk and fight people again are you?” She asked.
“I’m okay. For some reason, I just lost it last night.” I replied seriously.
“Okay then. Take care of yourself James.” Haley said. Walking to the door, she threw me a quick wave and walked out.
The remainder of the night I spent watching movies and trying not to think at all. Sleep found me fairly easily when I got into bed and I was met with a dreamless night.
Easing myself from my bed, my aches and pains were noticeable but overall I was much better. Breathing out slowly, I composed myself as I heard my phone beep. I hadn’t checked it in over a day.
Looking down at my phone, I cursed as I had 15 missed calls and as many messages. Most from Chris and Brad, but a few of them were from Amanda. The majority of them were checking where I was and saying they were going out with the girls, and I should be coming with them.
The later messages took a turn for the worse. It appeared they had seen me in the club the other night leaving with Haley. The final message I got was from Chris saying Amanda didn’t take seeing me leave with Haley very well, and she and the girls had left shortly after.
Amanda’s messages were the same. Looking to see if I wanted to come out to the clubs. Where was I? But her last was from the following day saying she hoped I had a great night and she only had two more days until she went home. She left it at that, and I just stared at her message not knowing what else to do.
Finally I picked up the phone and dialed Chris. “Where the hell have you been? What happened to you the other night? Are you alright?” He asked angrily as he answered the phone.
“Honestly man it’s hard to explain.” I started. Sighing, I resigned myself to tell him the truth, “Chris. My sister got into a car accident back home. She’s in a coma. I was going to go home, but my family wants me to stay out here. I felt helpless, and got pissed off and got into a fight. I also nearly had sex with Haley again.” I said, letting it all spill out. ”I didn’t know what to do man, so I did something stupid.” I added. There was silence for a moment as Chris took it all in.
“Why didn't you tell me mate?” He said softly. He seemed surprised I had kept it to myself.
“I didn’t know what to say and to be honest, it took me until now to even process it. She’s my sister man. What am I meant to do?” I replied just as softly.
“I can’t even begin to say how I would feel if something like that happened to one of my family members James, but it’s not something you should deal with by yourself mate. Let’s go get a coffee and talk this over.” He said.
I agreed and hung up.
Walking through the doors of the coffee shop I spotted Chris off to the side with two coffees in front of him. I joined him at the table and he handed me the second cup. Standing up before I sat down, he came over and gave me a hug. It was nice to have a friend like him. We sat down and spent the next hour together speaking softly in the corner of the cafe about everything that had happened over the last couple of days.
“Sarah has always been there for me. She’s older than me and took it upon herself to keep an eye on her little brother.” I said, “She’s an extremely amazing person, and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone else.” I added with a fond smile.
“She sounds great.” Chris said, nodding.
“She really is. That’s why I took it so hard I guess. The feeling of not being able to do anything to help really is brutal.” I replied slowly, “In the end I did stupid shit, but it could have been worse I guess. I could have gotten arrested. I could have gone all the way with Haley, when I really shouldn’t be. Don’t get me wrong, I still messed up there, but I think it’s salvageable.” I said seriously.
“Honestly James. From what you’ve told me you shouldn’t worry about Haley so much. You stopped yourself before things got really out of hand.” He said just as seriously, “And as for the stupid shit…we’ve all done it. Sure you can regret it! Or you can use it as motivation to not let it happen again.” He added, “Finally. Don’t deal with this type of thing alone. You know you could have come to me straight away. That is what friends are for mate. Let people help you instead of going on a self-destruct.” He finished, leaning forward to emphasize each point.
Looking at Chris I smiled. “Thanks man. That means a lot to me.” I said, still smiling, “You’re a good guy.” I added.
“Just don't tell anyone else that. Alright?” He said with a grin, “I need to keep my bad boy image intact.” He added.
“You? A bad boy image?” I said, laughing at the end. Chris joined in.
“Hey! I’m a tough guy!” He replied, making some sort of face. An attempt at a tough one, I imagined.
“And I’m Kermit the frog.” I said, grinning.
“Well Kermit. I’m glad you’re feeling better.” He said, slapping me gently on the back.
“Yeah. Thanks mate.” I replied.
After getting everything off of my chest, he began to tell me of the night they had seen me leaving the club. Apparently, they had met up with the girls early on in the day, and then gone out to have fun. Everyone had tried to get in contact with me.
“The day at the hill was amazing. We all had a lot of fun. It’s a shame you didn’t make it.” Chris was saying, “After that, we all decided it was a good idea to go dancing. We were having a great time but then someone spotted you leaving with Haley.” Chris added, “And once Amanda saw that, the night was over. They all left. You might want to address that somehow. Maybe.” He said seriously, “Anyway. Brad and I stayed on in the club and got drunk. It was standard stuff really. He flirted with anything that moved and flexed a bit, and that’s about it.” Chris said with a laugh.
“Sounds about right for Brad.” I agreed with a laugh of my own, “Thanks again for this mate. It’s really helped.” I added more seriously.
“Any time, James.” He replied with a warm smile.
With everything that had been happening the last few days, I found it difficult to pick up the phone and speak to Amanda. Firstly what was I going to say, and secondly did she even care? The way Chris had been talking it seemed she did care, given that she left after spotting me leaving with Haley, but that just made it even more difficult. What was I supposed to say?
Oh hey Amanda! Sorry you saw me leaving with another girl the other night! Would you like to have a drink with me? Shaking my head in disgust, I resigned myself to the fact that I had screwed up. Maybe just a simple text would do the trick, but that was a cop out. She had wanted to spend more time with me and in all my wisdom I had gotten blind drunk, and started a fight only to be kicked out of the club. Top that all off, I’d been seconds away from fucking Haley, again.
I had to stop using my sister as an excuse. I was an idiot, and there was nothing I could do for Sarah right now. Instead of keeping my chin up, I went on a self-destructive rampage. Arguing with myself seemed to be the flavor of the day. I wrote multiple draft messages but deleted every one. I stared at the call button before putting down my phone in disgust.
Picking my phone up again after a moment’s hesitation, I stared at the screen again, and suddenly my phone rang. At first I thought I had dialed out by mistake, but no. Amanda was calling me. Watching the
name flash on my screen, I hesitantly answered the phone.
“Hello?” I said, awkwardly.
“Hi, James, it’s me.” Amanda said.
“Hi, Amanda, how are you today?” I asked politely. A little too politely.
“I’m okay thanks. I wanted to speak to you before I left for home as I feel we didn’t end things right. Chris just spoke to me and told me what happened. I’m so sorry to hear about your sister and I hope she gets better very soon.” She said slowly. Too stunned to speak, I just listened as she spoke. “If I had known, I would have come and spent time with you. You should have told me or your friends. I don’t mean to lecture you, but I really think you shouldn’t bottle up your emotions like that.” She said. I closed my eyes and thought of what to say. She was being so kind to me it was overwhelming. I was still shocked Chris had said something to her, but if he hadn’t I might not have had a chance to talk to her at all.
“I’m sorry Amanda. You’re right, I should have said something. Instead I got drunk and made an absolute idiot of myself in front of everyone. I just didn’t know what to do.” I said slowly.
“I understand it’s a hard time, but don’t take it out on yourself.” She replied.
“I’m in a better place now. I’ve come to terms with it.” I started out, “It still doesn’t excuse my behavior, but that’s something I have to live with. I’m sorry I didn’t join you the other night. I would have loved to spend more time with you.” I said slowly. Shaking my head, I thought to myself just what I might have screwed up between us.
“I would have liked that too, but I’m leaving later today. I’d like to see you before I leave so we can say goodbye properly!” She said hesitantly. My heart skipped a beat as she spoke.
“I’d like to see you too. When are you leaving?” I asked.
“In two hours, so it will have to be a quick get together.” She said.
“Would you like to go for a walk together?” I asked.
“Sure that would be nice. Can you come to my hotel? I’ll be waiting outside.” She said. I agreed.
Walking up to her hotel, I saw Amanda coming out the door. She smiled sadly at me, and my heart sank a little. I went to her and she wrapped her arms around me warmly. “I could have given you this hug the other night!” She said. I returned her tender touch with my own.
“I wish I had said something to you. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do.” I replied.
“It’s alright, I understand.” She said, as she left the embrace.
We walked aimlessly. Speaking of everything that happened. “I wish you didn’t have to leave. I really enjoyed spending time with you.” I said. My palms were getting sweaty. I was nervous. She had a powerful effect over me.
“I know. It’s a shame, but my holiday has to come to an end. You missed out yesterday too, as the girls and I went snowboarding again. It was a lot of fun.” She said, with a slight smile “I didn’t fall over much at all! I bet I could show you a thing or two.” She added with a laugh.
“I bet you could!” I replied, “So what are your plans from here? Are you going home to LA straight away?” I asked.
“Yes, home time for me. I have to get back to reality unfortunately.” She answered sadly. Nodding in agreement, I stared off into the distance thinking of the opportunities I may have missed.
We walked together in silence until Amanda spoke up, “You should come and visit me in LA.” Snapping myself out of my thoughts, I looked over at her, and she glanced at me smiling shyly.
“I’d really like that.” I said, stumbling over my words. We walked the remaining distance to her hotel in silence once more and stopped in front when we arrived. Looking everywhere but into her eyes we both spoke at the same time, and laughing awkwardly I insisted she go ahead.
“I’m glad I got to see you before I left. I’ve had so much fun I couldn’t believe I found you here in Banff.” She said seriously.
“I’m just happy you found me. It’s sad to see you go. I’m sorry we weren’t able to spend any time together the last few days!” I said. Amanda leaned towards me and put her finger on my lips
“Enough of that. We’ve spoken about it and it’s already happened. There’s nothing you can do about it.” She said, nodding. With her finger still on my lips, I leaned towards her.
“I know. Thank you for understanding. I’ll miss you Amanda.” I whispered around her finger, as I wrapped my arms around her.
She looked up and our eyes met. There was something in her eyes I couldn’t look away from. I was being drawn into them all over again as our heads came together. I kissed her lips softly and she kissed mine. It was so gentle. So delicate.
Her lips tasted just as sweet as the last time. We stood together for a moment, and to me that moment lasted forever. Finally our heads parted, and we held each other with our eyes locked until she peeled away.
“Goodbye James.” She said, as our touch was broken.
“Goodbye Amanda.” I said slowly, not knowing what else to say. I didn’t want to ruin this moment.
I watched as she slowly walked back into the hotel, only to look over her shoulder once and give me the warmest smile I had ever seen. A shiver ran down my spine as she went through the doors and out of sight. Standing there a moment, I smiled and made my way down the street. My giddiness had returned stronger than ever. Jumping in the air and clicking my heels together I held my head high. Everything seemed that little bit brighter.
Chapter Five
My time in Banff remained the same as before. It had been close to a month since Amanda left, and I hadn’t had any contact with her since. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, but more I didn’t know what to say. Our parting had been so bittersweet.
Back home, Sarah’s condition seemed to be improving but she was still in a coma. It had taken my mother and Alex multiple conversations to convince me to stay here for now, but as soon as Sarah showed signs of coming out I would be on the first flight back home.
Chris and Brad had done their best to keep me occupied as we would go to the hill often, and snowboard frequently. I would say I was actually getting pretty decent. It was a nice feeling to accomplish something I had set my mind to. We would play pool nearly every day, and go to the pub or clubbing on a regular basis. I was truly in a strange routine.
Such a party lifestyle, I wasn’t at all accustomed to, but it was easy to get stuck into. It wasn’t exactly what I was looking for when I first came to Canada on my journey, but it was something. A hiatus away from my hiatus. Sometimes you just need to let loose and see how things play out, and this was one of those times for me. As financially draining as it was.
Days blended into each other and I would forget the date more often than not. It was on one of these days I finally received the phone call I had been waiting over a month for. Sarah was showing signs of waking up. This time it was Alex, her husband who called me. He was nearly in tears.
“She’s waking up!” He cried.
“Thank god!” I replied happily, “How do you know?” I asked, emotion thick in my voice.
“The doctors said her signs are improving rapidly, and they think she will wake soon.” He said. He sounded exhausted.
“I’ll get the next possible flight and be home as soon as I can.” I said.
“That would be great. She will want to see you. We all do.” Alex replied quietly.
“I’ll see you soon Alex.” I said, hanging up.
I got in touch with Brad and Chris, and let them know how my sister was doing. They offered to drop me at the airport in Calgary as soon as I had my flight booked. It didn’t take me long.
“You didn’t have to do this guys.” I said, as I watched the mountains pass by.
“Of course we did mate! You would do the same for us if we were in your shoes. No doubt about it.” Brad replied. Chris murmured his agreement, “Besides! Gives us a chance to get out of Banff for a bit. I don’t know about you boys, but I’ve been feeling a bit trapped lately.
It’s a bit hard to describe.” Brad added, as he emphasized his words with his hands.
“I know exactly what you mean.” Chris said, looking over at me.
“Me too.” I agreed, “I love the place, but it seems like we’re trapped in a bubble.” I added.
“That’s a good way to put it! The Banff bubble! I think I’ll use that.” Chris said.
“Banff bubble huh. Time seems slower and days pass by without even knowing, and you think nothing of it. I wouldn’t change my little adventure for anything though. I’ve met amazing people and I’m by far better off for it.” I started, “No matter where we end up boys, I feel like I’ve made friends for life with you two.” I said, “I’d love to come back, but I just don’t know what’s going to happen with my sister so I can’t know for sure. Whatever happens. Wherever you boys end up, you’ll always have a friend in me.” I finished. The car was filled with silence for a moment as Brad and Chris took in my words.
“You too James. You’ll always be welcome wherever I end up buddy.” Chris said finally. Brad wasn’t far behind.
“I’m not much for speeches mate but same with me. Hope we get to see you soon!” He said with a grin.
It was hard to say goodbye to the guys after spending so much time together. We had become fast friends, but I knew it wasn’t going to be the last I saw of these guys. I waved as I walked towards the gate. I thought of all the fun times we had in Banff and knew this wasn’t the end of my adventure, but instead, just the start of another chapter.
Chapter Six
Seat B row 15. The flight home was long, uneventful, and exhausting. Exiting the plane in Adelaide airport I walked into the terminal to be greeted by my mother waving. A tear streaking down her cheek. It was hard to watch, and my throat choked up at the sight of her.
Rushing over to her I hugged her fiercely and held her for a long time. “I’m so happy to see you.” She said, releasing her hold of me.
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