“Is that why you know so much? Because you have had so many life experiences?”
“Partly. Once we connect, we feel everything and know everything that everyone already connected knows. Kind of like when you connected with Farrow. So, you see, it is hard not to know something when there are so many of us.”
“How many?”
“More than any human mind can comprehend.” She glowed and turned the other direction. “I am needed elsewhere, but I want to tell you something before I send you home.” She looked intently into my eyes, or what would have been my eyes. “You truly are different. I cannot tell you anymore about your family. That you need to seek on your own, so follow the path that lies before you, and walk through the doors that open. You will find what you need.
“As far as whom you should answer to, I am sure you can see that you already disagree with the Jarwin, and that will get worse. The Jarwin are not your enemy, so please never regard them as such. We help them as well, but their knowledge is limited. They do not know as much as you, because they are not like you. You possess duality, and the Jarwin no longer do.
“We cannot connect with them the way we are with you right now; we can only speak with them. I only tell you this because you may find it difficult to follow them, but you should not worry about this. You do not need to answer to the Jarwin or to the Tirates. You only need to answer to yourself. Let us guide you if you need it.
“Alexander is different. He must follow the Jarwin. Do not argue with him about this fact; just let us take care of any issues that arise.
“Go now, dear. We love you greatly.” She reached her hand to my head, and a zap of electricity shot through me. Suddenly, I was in Hope’s backyard.
I opened my eyes warily as I tried to orient myself. I felt like I had just been under a pressure hose, my body completely numb and wobbly. Hands reached out to me, trying to hold me steady.
“Aislinn!” Alexander shouted, panicked. “Please! Say something! Oh, Kiera, what’s happened to her?” He was still shouting, but not at me anymore.
“I’m okay.” I managed to croak out. “I just need a sec.”
Like I was a feather, Alexander whisked me up into his arms and took me inside. I felt my head hit a pillow, and I was out before I could say anything to reassure him.
20
CONFESSIONS
“Good morning,” Alexander whispered into my ear and kissed down my neck.
“Morning.” I yawned before turning to face him, eyes hazy from a long night of dreams.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” My eyes opened wider, as I realized that I had on Hope’s t-shirt and underwear. “What’s with the clothes?”
“You showed up naked, Aislinn.” He snickered slightly before forcing a straight face.
“Naked?” My hand flew over my mouth. “Who all was out there?”
“All of us… But don’t sweat it; no one cares.”
“No! I’ll never be able to show my face here again!”
“Don’t be so dramatic.” He pulled my face to his. “If I had it my way, you’d still be naked.” A devious grin washed over Alexander’s face. I hid my head under the covers. “Besides, we were all so worried about you. I don’t think your naked body was on anyone’s mind,” he assured me as he pulled back the covers.
“Oh.” Heat rushed to my face. I slowly pulled the blanket down the rest of the way, trying not to hide from him anymore.
“We’re all anxious to know what happened after I left, and why you showed up with no clothes. You have some explaining to do,” he scolded lightheartedly. “But I’m glad you’re all right.”
Alexander pressed his lips to mine. His large hands twirled my hair up in his fingers. Heat rushed through me as I felt his hard body press against mine. I could feel every curve, every ripple, every part of him through our sparse clothing. The skin-on-skin contact urged my body forward.
I wrapped my legs up into his, tangling us together. The explaining could wait. My urge to feel Alexander far outweighed any hunger or need to fill in the others.
Tingles of heat rushed between my legs as his kissing intensified. Alexander rolled me onto my back, climbing on top of me. The weight of his body crushed down on mine, making it difficult not to surrender and make love to him now.
Alexander’s tongue caressed my lips again, and he began to kiss my neck. Chills stayed behind after he left each spot. The desire was unbearable. I had to close my eyes to keep from combusting.
“I thought you wanted to wait until I remembered us. Have you changed your mind?” My words came out as a murmur.
After a groan of frustration, Alexander stopped kissing me and met my eyes. “I do want to wait, and I will wait for certain things.” His lips curled upward, a hint of suggestion on his face.
He entwined our bodies together and the heat between my legs grew, becoming almost painful. I grabbed his back, digging my nails into him, and he put his lips to mine again.
I didn’t struggle against his firm hold. I surrendered to it. He knew what he was doing, and I was helplessly along for the ride.
I could feel his breath in my mouth, taste his skin, smell his sweet caramel scent and it all added to the effect. He continued kissing me until my insides felt about to burst, a heat so strong I could barely control it. Suddenly, he withdrew and rolled to my side. I gasped.
“You’re leaving me hang—” Alexander put a gentle finger to my lips, cutting me off.
“This is all I’m comfortable with, for now.”
I couldn’t speak. My heart was beating in my ears. My breathing felt ragged, while at the same moment, my internal self was completely at ease.
“I have a gift for you.” His smirk reflected pride at my inability to speak. My body still hummed with euphoria. To my dismay, Alexander stood up and walked to the dresser. He pulled out something long and silver. “I’m sure that if you try this key in your box at home, it will fit. For now, you can wear it on the necklace I got you.”
“Thank you.” I eyed him with suspicion and slipped the key on my necklace chain.
“There is also something I must tell you. It’s about my anger.” He looked intently at me. “I’ve been speaking with the Jarwin about it, and one of them has agreed to help me work through some issues.”
“Thank you.” I looked away from him, remembering the dread he’d caused me to feel. How I questioned his intentions and the things he told me. I didn’t look at him when I spoke. “I was afraid to connect with you. In our changed state, I mean. I think that was why, when I tried to change the first time, I couldn’t do it quite right.” I turned back to Alexander, waiting for the rage that I’d seen so many times before, but it didn’t come.
“I understand,” he admitted. “I kind of suspected that. Thank you for telling me.” He took a deep breath and stared attentively into my eyes. “You’re strong, Aislinn, one of the strongest people I know. Once you came in from outside yesterday, I knew you were going to take charge, live up to your destined path. You weren’t going to let your fear of me being angry, or even enraged, stop you from what you knew was right. You faced your fear for the sake of living your truth, and in doing so, you’ve encouraged me to face my fears. You amaze me, Aislinn Moore.” Alexander’s voice carried pure awe.
Alexander pulled me closer to him, allowing our lips to linger just centimeters away from one another. My body moved forward without being ordered, desiring a different kind of present.
“Wait.” He got back up and chuckled under his breath. “We should go downstairs. We need to eat and fill Kiera and Hope in on everything that transpired after I left.” His strong arms pulled me from my cozy cocoon on the bed.
“Do I have to? It’s such a long story, and I’d rather be kissing you.” I frowned.
“I’m afraid so,” he announced as he dug through his dresser.
Reluctantly, I fumbled my way to my bag and pulled out my own clothes. I was disappointed that the clothes I had been w
earing—including my favorite jeans—were missing.
I pulled off the borrowed clothes, tossing them to the hamper in the corner of the room, and slipped on my own. Alexander kept his eyes to himself, not wanting to embarrass me any further over my nudity.
“Come on.” He wrapped his arm snuggly around my waist, and led me to the door.
As we rounded the corner of the kitchen, Tellah caught sight of us first. Guilt weighed down my chest. The last thing I wanted was to rub our relationship in her face.
Hope jumped toward me from across the room. “Aislinn! You’re okay! We were so worried.” She pulled me from Alexander and hugged me tightly.
“I’m fine.” I squeezed out the words. “Really. It’s actually quite surprising. With the amount of pain Farrow and I suffered when we connected, I thought we were goners.” My body froze the moment the words left my mouth. No one knew yet.
Silence filled the room. My mouth creased. “Oops. I guess you guys need to sit down. I have some things to share.”
“I guess so.” Alexander’s voice didn’t have a raging edge it, but he was visibly upset. He sat down at the table, leaving me standing in the middle of the kitchen.
“Maybe I should eat something first,” I suggested. “I lost a lot of strength last night.”
Alexander nodded and stood. “Please.” He motioned toward the table. “Sit. I’ll get you something to eat.”
I sat, and everyone surrounded me, eagerly awaiting my story. Alexander clanked noisily in the background.
“Well, here it goes, I guess…” I braced for impact as I stared at the shocked, angry, and curious eyes surrounding me. I clenched my fists under the table, trying to offer myself comfort as I braved my explanation of last night.
I told them everything. All about being trapped, and about Farrow knowing my mother, how he knew who I was and that I had the potential to help him. I went on to explain that his childhood had been terribly abusive, and that was why he needed guidance to help him control his abilities rather than use them for revenge. I shared how he loved Relina, and how the men with him were friends, which was not something that was taught about Tirates.
We discussed the Celestial Guardians, and everyone remained confused as to whom, exactly, the guardians were. I told them of how I went to the Celestial Guardians for advice, and that they agreed to help Farrow if he gave up his powers, as I suggested.
Kiera’s face betrayed her disapproval when I shared that I didn’t need to answer to the Jarwin.
“You sound an awful lot like a Tirate, Aislinn.” Her words were like ice.
I stared at her in disbelief. “How can you say that? Didn’t you, yourself, tell me I was different?”
“Yes,” she agreed. “I did. But I never told you to help a Tirate. You connected with him. Don’t you understand what that means?” Kiera was stern, intimidating, despite her childlike body.
“I know exactly what that means, thank you. I may not be the most experienced at this point, but I understand what I am meant to do.” I glowered at her. “Besides, the Jarwin seek advice from the Celestial Guardians. If the guardians are my source as well, then what’s the problem? I did nothing without their approval and instruction. Things worked great. Now Farrow has another chance, and I have helped someone who needed it.” I spoke with confidence.
Alexander interjected. “I’m sure you’re right, Aislinn. You were very kind and brave to help a Tirate. Although how you could do that without dying, or even being harmed, is beyond me.”
I turned to Alexander. “Thank you.” I took a breath. “The Celestial Guardians said the Jarwin are not being honest about the dangers of connecting. It can cause permanent damage, if you’re not careful. I had help from the Celestial Guardians, and both Farrow and I were doing it willingly, not by accident. Maybe that makes a difference.
“Plus, he wasn’t completely malevolent. He just needed help getting a fresh start. He sought help from the Jarwin, but they rejected him. Honestly, I’m not sure I could have done that if Farrow had been truly out for himself. It was excruciatingly painful.”
“But aren’t you scarred for life? How is it you’re not doubled over in pain right now? How are you able to function so easily, like nothing happened?” Alexander’s question caught me off guard.
“I guess…” I toyed with my hair. “It’s because of my DNA.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think that my mother may have been a Tirate.” There was a gasp of disgust at my conclusion. Kiera’s tiny fingers curled into a fist.
“What makes you think that?” Alexander asked.
“I got a good look at her through Farrow’s eyes. I can’t be certain, but she seemed dark. The Celestial Guardians told me that I need to seek more information about my family, that it will help me to understand what makes me different.” I breathed deeply. “I suppose the Jarwin already know this about me, and that’s why they’re so nervous. If I’m half Tirate, then, in their eyes, I could easily turn.”
“Wow.” Alexander sounded stunned. He sat back in his chair, taking in all that I had said. “I guess that makes sense. The Jarwin were very strict regarding what I could tell you. That’s why we weren’t supposed to let you into the bead shop. The Hallygens used to be Tirates, but now they call themselves Drifters.”
“Drifters? Why?”
“They didn’t pass their tests, but they didn’t want to be Tirates either. So they ignore their powers. They simply don’t use them. I was unsure why the Jarwin felt they would be such a threat to you, but now that makes sense. You may have decided to help them connect to the Celestial Guardians.” Alexander didn’t seem fazed by my opinions regarding the Jarwin. “I guess the most important thing now is to learn about your family. Did your adoptive parents give you any information on how to contact them?”
“No,” I muttered. “I think that was their original intent, but then my dad got called back to work suddenly. I guess I’ll have to figure things out on my own.”
“Your dad was suddenly called back? It sounds like there may have been more to that story. Maybe someone isn’t ready for you to find out more about your family. Did the Celestial Guardians have any suggestions on how to learn more about your heritage?”
“Again, that’s a no. I’m on my own there. They just told me to walk through the open doors, and not to worry, that I would be led on the right path.” My voice carried some doubt.
“Everything will work out,” Alexander reassured me. “The Jarwin may not be correct on everything, but they do agree that you need to know more about yourself now that you have chosen your path. They will help however they can.” He kissed my forehead without thinking, and Hope giggled from across the table.
“Sorry,” she beamed. Her eyes lit up with amusement.
I buried my head in embarrassment. Sharing my feelings was difficult, worse than being naked. The thought of my nudity brought a good question to mind.
“This is off the subject,” I mumbled, blushing. “But why do you guys think I showed up…” I looked at the table to avoid their eyes. “Naked? I was wearing cotton, so I shouldn’t have lost my clothes.”
Silence filled the room as everyone considered my question.
“Maybe,” Alexander spoke softly, “it’s because you didn’t just connect mentally to the Celestial Guardians. You and Farrow actually left earth. It’s hard to say for sure, since I know of no one else who can do that, but it seems like a reasonable assumption.”
“Hmm.” I pondered the idea. “You may be right. I hope that this doesn’t become a recurring theme. Being naked in front of everyone isn’t really my cup of tea.”
Kiera, Tellah, and Samara had been relatively silent during the conversation. Finally, they made an exit, leaving Hope, Alexander, and me to speak in private.
“Hope?” I whispered. “Is Kiera angry with me?”
Hope made a quick survey of the hall before answering me. “I don’t think she likes the direction you’ve chosen. She
is barely speaking to any of us. This has never happened. Usually Kiera is very…” She chose her words wisely. “Chatty. I’m not sure, but I think there may be something eating at her. Remember, she knows some things about you that she hasn’t shared yet. Maybe your course of action is a concern for her.”
“Huh.” I had no idea what could be bothering her so much. It wasn’t like I owed her anything. I had to choose what was right for me, just like she did for herself. “Well, maybe when things settle down, I’ll speak with her.”
Hope smiled, silently agreeing.
I looked at the clock again. The day seemed to be slipping away. Despite wanting to stay and chat more, I knew that my parents would be getting worried. I hadn’t had the opportunity to make sure they got home safely. I also felt an overwhelming need to find out more about my family in Ireland.
Hope and Alexander went back upstairs, and I followed. I had just begun to gather some of my things in hopes that I would be heading home soon, when I saw a red flash coming from my cell phone. Quickly, I checked the messages.
First in line had been my parents letting me know they made it home safely, next Cooper, thanking me for returning Jaden and letting me know that he’d hired a private investigator to help build the case against her parents, then finally, Mr. Wellner. That message caught me completely by surprise.
“Hello, Aislinn. This is Mr. Wellner. I’m not sure if you’re interested, but I received a call from a very close friend of mine, Natalia, and she is in desperate need for an apprentice. I thought of you first thing, but there is a problem.
“Natalia is in Limerick, Ireland. I know it’s out of the country, and probably a long shot, but I really think you would do well together and I’ve already discussed this with Dean Ellison, he said you can apply this toward your internship requirement. Please give me a call and let me know what you think. It would last for three months, until her show is over, and you would be paid and offered lodging in her one-bedroom apartment above her studio. She will also provide roundtrip plane tickets, but she needs to know soon so she can purchase a ticket right away. I will be in the pottery room all day. Hope to hear from you.”
The Heart-Shaped Emblor (The Ewlishash Series) Page 27