The Broken Destiny

by Carlyle Labuschagne

  “Go ahead, scream.” He chuckled. “I like screamers,” he said, stuffing more grapes into his mouth as he leaned back into the shadows, leaving only the outline of his body visible.

  I narrowed my eyes and folded my arms across my chest.

  “How did you get in?”

  He pointed to the door.

  “Well, use it again and leave.” I also pointed to the door, almost afraid to raise my voice.

  “It’s not up to you,” he said calmly.

  He didn’t have an accent, so I knew he must be from either the English School or the Military School. His voice was so smooth and I felt myself grabbing onto thoughts just to hear him talk again. “No boys are allowed in our wing, especially English speaking boys,” the words coming out shakier than I intended.

  “I am not a boy,” he said arrogantly, picking at the stem of a grape.

  From his outline, I could make out that he had broad shoulders, and an athletic build. I could hear his leather jacket scraping against the hard surface of the brick wall as he moved toward me – I fell silent. I had no comeback. First I saw the color of his hair, and then I felt his eyes on me. I could feel them burning through what little clothes I had on. I felt his presence nearing, like an electrical storm ready to consume all in its wake, when suddenly, the upstairs light went on. He retreated back into the shadows. I pulled my shirt over my legs and headed up the stairs.

  “What, no goodnight kiss?” he hollered.

  The arrogance in his voice was sickening.

  “Jerk,” I mumbled to myself.

  “I heard that!”

  His voice lingered in the quiet of the night for a moment. I drew in a nervous breath. His charm had gotten to me. Sonja came into view as I made my way to the top landing, her dark eyes fierce; almost bewitched with anger. It may have been jealousy. I had seen that look before. She had worn that look the day she had realized that guys paid more attention to me, than they would ever pay to her. I didn’t like the attention, but it did make me feel superior in some way. Sonja bumped into me intentionally as she made her way down the stairs, deliberately stomping her feet on each step, as she trudged off to show that she was angry with me. She was a full-figured girl with light, brown hair, deepset brown eyes and pale skin. She was pretty, in a 50’s kind of way. A wicked smirk crept across my face. I pushed down the false sense of victory I felt, one I didn’t want to feel. I can be just as shallow as them, I thought. I took a deep breath and let the feeling of someone being jealous of me well up inside. I welcomed it. I should have realized then that I was acting differently.

  CHAPTER TWO

  First Attack

  I looked into the monitor and my gray eyes stared back at me indifferently. They portrayed a distant numbness, a numbness that was growing denser every day. I glared into the camera above the monitor and knew that they were watching. A camera wouldn’t have been placed there merely to provide a high-tech mirror. They were watching in case one of us went off the rails and lived up to our name – The Broken. On this day, I did feel broken. I always did on the days my mind went back to when I was raped. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping it would go away. I had kept it to myself for a long time, letting it beat me up from the inside. You can become addicted to sadness that way. But my silence had led to the attack on Sage. I blamed myself entirely and I was feeling sorry for myself again. Sage would have told me that it was not my fault, but I knew it was. I found myself trusting too much. I allowed it to happen to me and ignored it, hoping that it would go away – like it had never happened. Sage had more courage than I did and had reported the boy. He was sent to live among the Minoans in an attempt to save him from his savagery and fix what was broken from within. Could they fix me? I wondered, bile rising up in my throat. I shut it out. I didn’t want to think about it a moment longer – I didn’t feel up to it that day.

  The shower shut down, the vacuum sucked up the excess steam, and the doors slid open mechanically to reveal Sam in all her glory. Her slim hips, slender legs, flat stomach, perfectly shaped bust and fiery locks, which were frizzed by the damp air, were all on display. She extended one of her arms and I handed her a towel, forging a smile onto my grim face. I slipped out of my shirt, peeled my socks off, made my way around Sam and got into the shower. The glass door closed behind me, swooshing softy, and the purple laser began scanning my biometrics.

  “Good morning, Ava.” The computer spoke in a female voice that drummed in my ears.

  “Oh, kill it,” I said out loud, raising my hand and slapping the wall.

  My playlist flashed on the screen beside me, but I switched it off. I wasn’t in the mood for anything just then. The water from the shower sprayed lightly over my stomach, but the water pressure on my back was firmer – just the way I liked it. Light lavender, lime and orange-blossom soap misted over my body. Our favorite settings were saved onto the hard drive of our computer. I lay my forehead against the warm white sandstone tiles and waited for the timer to beep. After it beeped, the doors opened, but I stayed stuck to the wall breathing deeply and feeling even more morose than before. Those dreadful nightmares always got the better of me, the terror still vivid in my mind, not to mention the other issue that was plaguing it. I did not want to face our punishment for missing our curfew.

  “Are you going to stay in there the whole day?” Sam asked, holding a towel out to me.

  “Yes. I am going to stay here until the sun sets and this day is over. Let me know when that’s happened, and then I’ll come out,” I replied sarcastically.

  Sam snapped the towel over my buttocks. The sting on my wet behind made me yell out. I grabbed the towel and scowled at her.

  “Come on, drama queen, I’m sure everyone has calmed down by now, we’ll just have to sit in detention on Monday after school,” she said warmly. “Besides, who would punish their two star hockey players and break up a great team?”

  I stared at her with one eye, Sam with her bearing all teeth smile and sparkling eyes. I sighed loudly, the idea seeming plausible.

  “Fine,” I said sharply. “Do not expect me to make small talk after the game.” I pointed my finger at her.

  She shook her head. “Deal.” We shook hands and she pulled me out of the shower.

  Sam turned toward the front door as it closed behind us, her eyes lingering on the lock before she faced me. I heard a soft click as the door locked automatically. It hadn’t been like that before Sage had disappeared. We had never locked our doors and there had been no such thing as a curfew. I had told Sam about the boy who had been in our apartment the night before; both of us knowing that we had to be extra cautious as we were the last ones to leave the apartment that morning. The boy’s velvet voice rang through my mind, the words “I like screamers” reverberating in its depths, before Sam tugged me along. I smiled to myself. If only I had a face to put to that smooth voice. I stared up at the sky, expecting to see the cloud cover I had noticed the previous night, but there were no clouds, just cold, stale air.

  “I miss the old you, you know?” Sam said as she put her arms around my sunken shoulders.

  “Huh?” I replied.

  “I can see something’s eating at you. You seem so angry or… um… you seem unhappy.”

  Her gaze met mine.

  “I know,” I told her, plastering a hugely sarcastic smile on my otherwise unhappy face.

  “What is it with you?” she asked, a faint glow of helplessness appearing in her eyes.

  “Nothing. I’m just tired,” I said plainly.

  “Of what?” she spat.

  “This place.”

  “Oh, friend,” she said and pulled me toward her. “We’re all in this together. You know that, right? You’re not the only one who has lost their parents and grown up wondering what the future holds,” she said, twirling a strand of my hair around her finger.

  “I’m tired of the secrets,” I said, pushing her away gently while I adjusted the strap of my oversized bag.

  “There you g
o again with the secrets and conspiracies. I know you want to believe what’s written in those journals, but she also said the Change left her with a crazy reality, not knowing when things were real.” Sam rolled her eyes, hastening her pace.

  As if I wasn’t annoyed before, my mom’s journals were now driving me crazy. I kept my eyes on the ground staring at the dry and dusty path that would lead us through the park toward class.

  “Don’t you feel it?” I asked Sam. “Something is wrong. There is more to us than this.”

  Sam kept quiet as we walked toward the playing fields in silence. I found myself feeling slightly worried when my eyes settled on our opponents who were already warming up. Sam gathered our team together and gave a speech about how we may be intimidated by the girls’ size, but our speed and agility would give us the advantage, adding something about how we were a team. Yeah, right! A team? Not one of them is on my team. They only use me, I muttered inwardly. They all looked up to Sam, pretending to like me because I was her best friend. As always, I was an outcast and someone they could rag about to make themselves appear better than me. Secretly, I wanted to be accepted by them, so I was always nice to them. I was nice and naïve, trusting, and oh-so-stupid, changing who I was to be like them when I really hated every second of being with them. I just wanted to be liked. I knew that conforming to their ideals and sacrificing my morality would only make me feel emptier and emptier, until I was swallowed up by their world. I preferred my own world. My world was far away. That was why I daydreamed all the time – I was happy in my world, but either numb, or in pain, in theirs. As we stood on the field geared up for the game, I heard Sam tell the team that English boys secretly favored us Afrikaans-speaking girls. That in some way we were wilder – whatever that meant. Regardless, our team ate it up like cupcakes and took off with a new kind of energy. The game was on! Sam had taken over Sage’s position as Captain of the first team, and she was brilliant at it. What made our team even better was how Sam and I had a secret language that enabled us to anticipate each other’s moves with the slightest glance. As long as Sam and I were on the team, there was no beating us. We were so in tune that we ran circles around our opponents. Our team, which had grown accustomed to our style, formed our backup, and was always ready and in place. Sam and I soared. I think it was because we had such a good understanding of each other. Moving like twin planets, we drew the game toward us. Some shoving and dirty play led to a small catfight breaking out, but all was quickly resolved by our coaches. Shortly thereafter, the horn blew and it was all over. Victory was ours! I couldn’t help but gloat a little, yet the feeling left me as quickly as it had come. I knew I wouldn’t get much acknowledgement from the team. I don’t need their approval anyway, I told myself. It annoyed me that I couldn’t pull myself out of the horrible mood I was in. Leaning against the wooden fence, I blew out a sharp breath of air and watched the mist escape from my mouth. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and to begin enjoying the weekend. I could overhear a conversation that was taking place in the distance. It was about Sage and how she had gone missing not so long ago. Sage had shared the same room as Sam and I, even though she was a year older. I recalled the uplifting energy she had brought with her to our games, and how her white halo of hair had always hung over her eyes, like one of those rag dolls we had seen in photos of human children on Earth. I clearly remembered her broad smile. She would light up the room with that gorgeous smile of hers, one I was slightly jealous of. However, deep down, I loved that about her. I wanted the day she disappeared to be long forgotten, it had felt like it must have been one of the longest days of my existence on this planet. It had been an extremely cold day; just like it was the day I was leaning against the fence waiting for the weekend to begin. I replayed the day she disappeared in my mind once again. We had won yet another hockey game and to celebrate we went to the market to do some shopping. Sage was meeting a Minoan boy down by the beach. She had told us she was in love and had explained how they met secretively behind the café on the edge of the forest almost every afternoon. It was said to be the first time a human and a Minoan had engaged in such a manner. Sam and I had returned from the market and had waited for Sage’s arrival – but she never returned. That night, we helped her sneak back in through the infamous bathroom window tucked into the corner of the apartment. We hadn’t had a curfew then, but it was easier to sneak Sage in as she was bad at lying and if our dormitory keeper, Sonja, had asked where she had been, we would have all been in trouble for keeping secret her interaction with a Minoan. We had sat up talking about how Sage and her prince were like Romeo and Juliet, until the sun broke on what was meant to be the first day of spring. “Happy spring!” we had all yelled sarcastically, even though we knew that spring would probably not be coming anytime soon. We still celebrated the idea of changing seasons. After spring, we wrote our final exams, followed by a long summer’s break and the start of a new year. We had skipped our first class that day so we could meet her prince. It was just the three of us left in the apartment. I remember her going out to the garden to pick some yellow roses, which she would religiously place in our room once a week. The thing about genetically enhanced flowers was that they were always in bloom. Was it unnatural? Yes, but so far so good, right? Sage never came back. We all thought that she might come back. We theorized that she was embarrassed by her lover’s ethnicity; therefore felt that she had to go alone. I had felt sad about this because I would never judge a person by their race. Every time I thought of that day, I noted how strange, bitter and unnatural it had felt. There had been something in the air around our apartment that day – a strange smell and a dark presence. It could have been my imagination, but some thing at the back of mind kept telling me that it wasn’t. Sam’s laughter in the distance made me snap out of the dreadful memory. I called her, pulled my bag over my shoulder and started for my locker.

  “Come on! Let’s go!” I yelled. “I’m not in the mood to stick around,” I mumbled as she drew near.

  I could read the disappointment on Sam’s face. Sulking, her bottom lip drooping, she attempted to break my resolve with puppy dog eyes. She knew she had lost when I kept walking regardless. After we had locked our bags in our lockers, we headed toward the main exit. I was thinking about Sage again. I didn’t want to think about her. Thinking about her lodged a lump in my throat and made my chest ache. I’m not going to cry, I told myself. I’m not going to cry. I snapped out of my trance when I heard the roar of a Kawasaki motorbike flying past us. Race cars and bikes fascinated me. I often wondered if this love of speed was a genetic trait from the seed that was responsible for my being. We knew nothing of our biological parents. I, however, had that journal I secretly kept; my mother’s journal. Sam knew about it, of course, she knew everything I knew. I had no idea I had in my possession something that might cause conflict in our society. Maybe the journal was the reason why I always felt so empty. I knew there were secrets about our origin and I knew our lives were a lie. Sam and I kept walking, her arm locked in mine. The motorbike slowed down. My mind started wandering off again. I was still thinking about Sage and feeling depressed. I knew that time would not heal this wound, and I would not accept that there was some threat out there that everyone was ignoring. The roar of the bike returned as it drifted into a semi-circle and swung around to face us, dust settling on the ground around the rider who was wearing a helmet with a black-tinted visor and a padded red leather jacket that cut in at his hips. His sight locked on us. Where he had gotten that jacket was beyond me. It screamed sex appeal. Sam grabbed my wrist and I felt my heart sink as the rider kept his gaze on us. His tinted visor made it difficult for me to recognize him.

  “Should we run?” Sam whispered jokingly.

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Are we supposed to be scared?” she sniffed.

  “No,” I responded, shrugging with annoyance.

  The rider handled the throttle and the bike’s motor roared up again. He continued to keep his gaze on
us.

  “What’s he doing?” Sam asked.

  “Having fun?” I ventured.

  He let the bike’s engine idle for a while, his hand toggling the throttle. He was teasing us with the roar of the engine. I could, unmistakably, feel his intense gaze on me as we neared. The pressure of his gaze left me quivering inside. My stomach was turning with anticipation, making me feel very awkward, uncomfortable and frustrated. I drew in a deep breath, trying to shake the feeling off.

  “Just breathe and walk past him like you don’t even notice him,” Sam said, picking up on my tension. She knew about the day I was raped and I guess I would always, in some way, have a situation that brought back the feeling of helplessness. This time I wasn’t going take it.

  “That’s exactly what I intend to do,” I said, grinning.

  I could distinguish the writing on his gear as we closed the distance between him and us, and I could make out the mischievous, and taunting, crooked smile on his face. Somehow it felt somewhat familiar, but the tint of the visor made it difficult for me to see the rest of his face. Tilting my head and narrowing my eyes I snapped out, “What’s this guy’s problem?”

  The smirk on his face only grew. I stopped, took in the deepest breath and looked straight at him with every ounce of courage I could muster. “See anything you like?” I asked him, my heart pounding against my chest. What was going on with me?

  I tried to hide the nervousness in my voice, but his smile never gave. Confidence streamed out of every pore on his body. I turned my head the other way and tilted my nose toward the sky in an attempt to ignore him. He opened up the throttle and pulled off with a wheelie like he was some sort of dark prince. A shot of adrenaline pumped though my heart as he flew past us – leaving dust to billow in his wake – us being in the way of that wake.